[wildflowerchild25]

Haven’t checked in in a couple of days because I’ve literally been too exhausted, plus I don’t know how to describe how I’m feeling. I’m actually feeling almost stable, which is nice, except for bouts of self harm thoughts and a general feeling of doom that just overcomes me sometimes out of nowhere. Very bizarre. But overall I feel better. Maybe I just had to adjust to being back at work. I’m trying not to think too far ahead and assume things will go bad again. Just hoping they stay ok.

[Wild Coyote]

I am having a rough time. I have not been available. Signed in to write this note. I will get tp PM's, etc., as soon as I can do so.

Love to All!

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Really depressed today. Trying to hang on. This lack of sleep is wearing me down.

I am in a similar position. I am sorry you are having a hard time, too.
Will be in touch. Thinking of you.

Much Love,

WC

[Guiness187055]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Haven’t checked in in a couple of days because I’ve literally been too exhausted, plus I don’t know how to describe how I’m feeling. I’m actually feeling almost stable, which is nice, except for bouts of self harm thoughts and a general feeling of doom that just overcomes me sometimes out of nowhere. Very bizarre. But overall I feel better. Maybe I just had to adjust to being back at work. I’m trying not to think too far ahead and assume things will go bad again. Just hoping they stay ok.

I get feelings of impending doom all the time.

[giddykitty]

So, today started hopeful, but got really overwhelming and then now is calming down. But if it weren't for some help, today could have gotten really bleak. I want to have hope that now I'm caught up, I'll be able to stay on top and keep up, I WANT to think we'll, but if history has taught me anything...well, I don't even want to say it. Let's just hope I get some help in the next few weeks and March when I finally see the actual pdoc. *exhales*

[LadyShadow]

Went to the pdoc two days ago and he DOUBLED my Seroquel dosage and it hit me really HARD. Like with a sledgehammer to where the pendulum swung to depression yesterday.

Today wasn't bad, but damn my body is REALLY feeling this med change.

Why in the HELL was I friggin cursed with Bipolar???? &^&%^%$^^&%^&*& this crap!

[RainyDay107]

Hugs to those that need it. Happy hugs to happy folks.

I’m having some lucidity this morning so I wanted to check in. I’ve been very unwell, I came very close to going IP as I was having a mixed episode and was actively suicidal. I haven’t been actively suicidal in a long time.

My boyfriend has been with me 24-7 and is taking care of me. I’m feeling “up” right now and I have a question about meds. I need to start a thread on it. I could use advice (no medical advice, of course).

Extra hugs to my PM pen pals here and I’m sorry I’ve not been here. I’ve been too sick.

[RainyDay107]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I am having a rough time. I have not been available. Signed in to write this note. I will get tp PM's, etc., as soon as I can do so.

Love to All!

WC

You take care and I am thinking of you. We’re in the same boat I think.

[RainyDay107]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Haven’t checked in in a couple of days because I’ve literally been too exhausted, plus I don’t know how to describe how I’m feeling. I’m actually feeling almost stable, which is nice, except for bouts of self harm thoughts and a general feeling of doom that just overcomes me sometimes out of nowhere. Very bizarre. But overall I feel better. Maybe I just had to adjust to being back at work. I’m trying not to think too far ahead and assume things will go bad again. Just hoping they stay ok.

I am thinking of you. Feelings of impending doom happens to me, sometimes. Like a looming, very strong feeling something bad is going to happen...but I do not know what.

For me, that can be a sign of a mixed episode with psychosis coming on. Not always.

I’m thinking of you. I’m glad you are doing well otherwise!

Things are OK for you, it feels like something ominous and concerning is coming...but I think things are ok. I know you don’t feel it’s “ok,” I sure do understand. I hope this is supportive for you. It helps me to have someone tell me things are ok when I feel something is going to happen.

Keep an eye on your thinking....don’t judge. Just observe and if you are feeling bad or the impending doom is getting stronger...it’s a good time to reach out, ok?

You can always PM me. I’m having a mixed episode and I’m “up” this morning. But if I don’t reply soon that’s why. I am thinking of you. Things are ok.

Please call your pdoc or go to,the hospital if the SI urges get too strong. Or you feel like you need too. I am thinking positive thoughts but get that help if you need it.

[RainyDay107]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Really depressed today. Trying to hang on. This lack of sleep is wearing me down.

Jennifer,

How are you?

Please hang on. Update us when you can. I’m thinking of you. Please get help if you need to be in a safe environment. OK.

[RainyDay107]

Bipolar disorder sucks.

[leomama]

Feeling irritated for oh so many reasons and I haven’t gotten up yet.

[Moreta]

Feel pretty good today. Trying to be productive. All I've done so far though is wash the dishes. I'm trying to get motivated to go to the gym and then go to the coffee shop for a while. I feel the need to stuff my face with a gluten free muffin. I haven't had one in over a week. The only sweets I've had this week is a small bag of reeses hearts. mmmm. reeses. They're my weakness. My husband finally got a haircut today. His hair was longer than mine. lol. It looks nice. He's at a candidate forum today to talk to potential volunteers. He's been getting a lot of volunteers. Probably because he's in charge of all of Ulster county. He said he gets a lot of college students. I guess there's an art college up there. My dogs are being *****es today. Blossom thinks I can play tug of war with her with a tiny little piece of a toy. Jojo keeps trying to drag Blossom around on the floor by her neck. Jojo is a doberman mix and blossom is a pitbull, so they're not small dogs. They both weigh about 65 lbs.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I am having a rough time. I have not been available. Signed in to write this note. I will get tp PM's, etc., as soon as I can do so.

Love to All!

WC

When I can "stop in," it's for a very brief time (for now).
I am not ignoring anyone. My personal resources are limited right now.


WC

[Unhinged88]

I had a really good day two days ago. Yesterday was rough. Today I found courage to go meet a new friend. Im nervous and I hope I dont screw it up!

[Unrigged64072835]

Hugs to those that want them.
Glamslam, Wild Coyote and Jennifer, you're in my thoughts.

Today has been kind of weird. My right leg hurts; it started around my ankle and has gone up the leg. It's just a dull ache. Muscles are tight so I think I strained them. Even with muscle relaxers they still get tight. I put my feet up and walk around about every hour, so I don't think it's blood clots.

It's been another quiet day. Wrote more poems and took a nap, even though I slept enough last night. Tomorrow is housework and laundry.

My daughter has the same T that I'm starting to see next week. She mentioned that new T is pushy, and I'm not sure about that. My pnurse mentioned PTSD in her referral. However, I also have Borderline PD diagnosis and sometimes I'm treated like a toddler if that is noted, at least by other people in this clinic. I may have to find another person outside of this clinic. Ugh.

Mood has been jumpy but still manageable.

[giddykitty]

I'm flipped to energetic today, so I don't want to spend a lot of time writing this. Ummm, well, just to say wired is the closest to describe it. I'm happy I'm getting some workout, but I'm kinda mad that it just doesn't feel enough...i am back to that "manic" feeling again. Whether or not it's truly mania though (probably not or not exactly), the fact is I'm just tiring out but still, well wired, so it's like I don't want to do anything (chorewise). Lucky for me, I'm taking the day off...except with anxiety, nobody ever REALLY gets a day off... I mean, unless they get some help. So I'm just still anxiously awaiting March and to get my diagnosis/treatment plan, well, more of it. I do have plans and a few goals for now, so it's just a matter of working extra hard on that, which I'm frankly fed up on doing and fear the burn out again...hell, I just had it yesterday, I'm still recovering, so I'm not really back on track yet, but today feels like a turning point...as long as tomorrow gets better. Will hope for the best!

Hugs*

[Nammu]

Wednesday is D day. Having a serious talk with the doc about stopping the AP Hope it goes well as he is an internist and doing my meds cause there's no pdocs available. Haven't seen the doc for about 18 months so hope he gives me the time to talk about this and not just shrug my concerns off.

[leomama]

I feel peaceful at the moment and I will protect that at all costs. It’s my day off so it’s all about yoga, cleaning, shopping, errands, laundry, and if I have the energy church tonight. I don’t mind being alone, in fact I rather like it. I serve thousands of customers a week and on my day off I like to be solitary. My body hurts as my job is physical but I hope to do several more yoga sessions today between tasks. I’ve been totally neglecting my pt as I have had no time. I’m constantly trying to fit everything in but I have to sleep and eat as well. It’s frustrating so I have to try to stay as low key as possible. My daughter helped herself to my bed last night which messed up my rhythm as Friday night is my only night to sleep in. Oh well.

[LadyShadow]

Adjusting to medication change. It's really HARD, but I know this is what I need. Trying to get my head together.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by glamslam

Jennifer,

How are you?

Please hang on. Update us when you can. I’m thinking of you. Please get help if you need to be in a safe environment. OK.

Thank you for your concern and your kind words. I talked to my daughter for a long time about various things and that usually helps me see that some paths are simply not an option. I got about 5 hours of sleep last night and am grateful for that. Feeling safe again today.

I’m glad to see that you are feeling better and glad your boyfriend was/is there to help see you through.

[wildflowerchild25]

I’ve had a good day. Took my son to the library again. Now I’m worried about him though. He took a nap today (he never naps) and he complained of being cold (he’s always hot). Now he’s in his room sniffling. I hope to god he’s not getting the flu. I’m terrified with all the horrible reports out there. We both got the flu shot but apparently that means **** all this year. I hope it’s nothing. My anxiety can’t handle him being sick, and definitely not with all the reports of children dying from this strain.

[wildflowerchild25]

Sorry for the double update but I decided to add: ive been exhausted af since returning to work, but even before that I was taking 2-3 hour naps during the day. I think rexulti is to blame. So I moved all my depakote to the AM and rexulti to PM. Hoping the exhaustion during the day subsides. If not I guess I’ll have to deal with it. I’m also super hungry on rexulti. Rexulti is a weight gainer according to the common side effects list I guess I’ll have to just get used to the fact that I’m overweight and it’s unlikely that I’ll lose a significant amount. I don’t have the willpower to stick to a diet or “lifestyle change”. Oh well.

[leomama]

I’m working on a diet change, after doing a Whole30 I’m really trying hard to eat Paleo. Coworkers and family are obstacles but not excuses. Great lent is starting Monday so that will be even more incentive. In terms of lifestyle, I’m going deeper into my yoga practice, I just bought a set of blocks and a strap to help me with poses like cobbler. I’ve been on a lowered dose of lamictal for one week now. One more week and I will titrate it down another 50mg and then I see my p doc. I still have to go to the lab next week.

[scatterbrained04]

Mood has stayed stable for the last 2 or 3 weeks now. I'm really enjoying it. I was even able to get away on a short trip. Hope the stability sticks around this time.

My son and I are still recovering from what I think was the flu. It's been about a week and a half since we got sick, but we are both still dealing with exhaustion and a cough. The exhaustion is going to be a real struggle today, as I have some major cleaning to tackle PLUS grocery shopping. I have no idea how I'm going to get through it. I've been working 10 minutes at a time then sitting down.