bipolar impulsiveness

I think that OCD is also on the spectrum with BP? My Tdoc says so and she thinks my impulsivity is related to that.

I journal. Sometimes I pace or punch the floor (it's carpeted). If I have to give in or lose it, I try to bargain myself into something relatively harmless, like buying something relatively inexpensive versus some of the very self destructive things I think about doing.

Thank you for sharing Nola. That's an interesting observation. I do think an obsessive quality has developed in my angry depression because I am feeling the need to act on some kind of anger or rage over daily occurrences. It is worse when I am tired, especially early in the morning when my cat has woken me up again. My emotional regulation is worse then. I am also bargaining and trying to displace from what I want to do into something relatively harmless. Like I'll pick something up and pretend to throw it against the wall without actually doing it. I read on a different thread about a fellow who pretends to punch those around him. What I am doing is not so different except he's 17 and I'm 54 and have never done this before on a regular basis.

I've been substituting the draw of smoke from cigarettes into my lungs (I haven't smoked a cig or taken nicotine for over 2 years), with the draw of marijuana from my pipe. I finally realized this was a tail end of my decades long cigarette addiction, enjoying that feeling of pulling smoke into my lungs. Plus I was using cannabis to numb my thoughts and forget about all my problems but it doesn't really work. The problems are still there.

The hardest time for me is in the morning and today I resisted and did not reach for my pipe so far... I'm taking it one day at a time. Just want to be real and not fuzzy headed.

I stopped seeing my T a few years ago when she wanted the contact information of various people including a neighbour because, in her own words, she didn't trust me to tell her the truth about my symptoms. I was really hurt when she said she didn't trust me and told her so, i mean what is the point of therapy in that case. But she insisted saying she needed that contact information. So I ended the relationship and haven't seen a T since then. On the other hand I have 45 min appointments with my pdoc and this is some kind of therapy too.

I used to work full time, travel, have some friends, lead a full life. Now I am a lonely middle age woman on private disability at home with my cat most of the time and in some legal troubles too from my last episode.

Of course I am angry at the reaction and how I have been treated or mistreated at times, but if I never had this illness I wouldn't have lost everything I had worked so hard for all my life and become so isolated.

I have acted strange while manic and this really scares people to the point that they want to lock me away and that is what they do. If I step out of line of what is considered normal behavior in any slight way, I'll have the police at my door to take me away for a psych evaluation and probable commitment. Last summer the police were banging on my door maybe 50 times and i became incredibly paranoid that people were after me.

What can you do to get better?

I have impulsive tendencies outside of bipolar, but that is also part borderline as well.

I usually have a wish list on Amazon and I put everything I want there. I also print out wish lists for clothes stores. I do find when I'm hypo or manic I get razor-focused on one thing. My husband takes care of the finances so he knows if I'm slipping off with buying stuff. I think my worst impulse now is with eating. I snack a lot when I'm bored or upset.

DBT does help at times because I can stop, determine what's happening, and make a different decision. It also helps by providing tools to defuse the impulses until I'm ready to deal with them.

I am most impulsive when I am bored out of my mind I feel like I need a high or rush to entertain myself.

I struggle with impulsiveness so much no matter what episode I'm in. Usually when I'm depressed it's going on shopping sprees and when I'm manic it's doing dangerous adrenaline-pumping activities (jumping off trains, climbing buildings, stuff like that).

For the shopping thing, something I found that helps is asking a friend to go shopping with me because I fear they'll judge me if I buy a lot of stuff. (Sometimes a friend will enable you though, so be careful.) I also "ban" myself from stores (for me it's Target and CVS and any makeup store) and only go when absolutely necessary, or if I want to buy something that I've thought about for a long time. I try not to make any big purchases unless I've thought about it for a long time (not super great at that though). And when I feel like I absolutely HAVE to shop, I go to a thrift store because at least that does less damage to my wallet.

As far as doing dangerous things when I'm manic... what I really want at those times is the adrenaline, so I try to do safer things like drive really fast in my car (but out on country roads) or go to an amusement park if I have time and can afford it... this one I have a harder time coming up with alternatives for

AnnieLovesBacon, what great strategies you have for overcoming your bipolar impulsiveness! Really creative! One thing i found to help with impulsive shopping is to get a shopping cart when i go in a store. If i find something tempting, i put it in the cart. After i've pushed it around for a while i can usually put it back on the shelf. Also, as far as clothes go, i remind myself that it will just add to The Storage Crisis and The Laundry Crisis. I've fatted out of most tempting clothes tho, so it's not such an issue anymore.

I'm 51 and in the Spring i get manic impulses to socialize more, not always with the best results. Socializing with my neighbors has become a problem. I live in a condo building of 200 units. It's a vertical neighborhood and i have a dog and we have a dog park and i get tempted to go out in the nicer weather and chat with my neighbors while our dogs frolic.

This is a mistake as they are all older than me and very contrary and like to tell me how to live my life. I really have to make an effort this year, when my Spring mania hits, to resist chatting with them. I don't have the social skills to protect me from their barbs so i really have to work on avoiding them. I've picked up an art class and that gives me a little bit of opportunity to socialize. I can go to a mental health drop-in i used to frequent and a bipolar support group i used to attend regularly where it's all compassionate people in the same boat. It's really just a problem during my Spring mania tho. The rest of the year i don't have the time of day for my neighbors!

Most of my impulsivity is self-harm or screaming at people. I'm working on learning mindfulness to just maybe lay down and clear my mind and turn my attention elsewhere. It's a work in progress. I'm still learning. This is typically when I'm mixed.

For shopping related impulsivity, I do what a lot of people are doing. I stop and make myself wait several days to see if I still want it. One of my big impulse buys can be books. For that one, I allow myself to go "shopping" at the library.

I went into Amazon yesterday and spent 700.00 bucks.
No regrets. First time my impulsiveness is directed toward things that I really need.
Be Happy.

I am thinking of placing the credit card , the one with a high credit limit, in my safety deposit box at the bank. This may make it real difficult for surprise problems, but I do have another credit card with a thousand dollar limit. Maybe I should reduce it to a $500 credit limit?

Thanks to everyone for sharing their experiences and methods of mitigating bipolar impulsiveness. My last psychotic manic episode landed me for a month in a forensic psychiatric ward. I acted out impulsively.

Fortunately I found out yesterday that all the charges are going to be dropped. I have to do some kind of mental health diversion... that is all.

It's been a 5 month wait to find out how the Crown wanted to proceed and I was quite anxious about it all that time.

That's the first time I've ever had a lawyer or any legal troubles btw. But yeah I was acting out delusional ideas without thinking of the consequences at the time.

Don't make any deals until you seek professional legal aid. Cops cut entrapment deals to wash their hands clean. I've been in trouble with the law all my life. My first crime was when I was 8 years old. In the underworld, that's respected. But got me nowhere.

I have a private lawyer with 30 years experience.

Touche

Hi,

In my honest confession I feel as if I had developed bipolar disease myself. Let me try to explain why inamnsaying so weird thing.

I was a topper in school, was always glad about my quality of mind. Atbthe same time I was highly silent kid, so much so that I remained mum even during with close friends as no thoughts can to my mind. It was partly due to the surroundings where we were living and that my father was not at all social so we really never were taught what is mixing with the society.

Social exclusion resulted in limited numbers of friends and hence limited number of hobbies, outdoor activities and quality time.

I managed to get into top medical schools without much effort but as soon as I got into med school I started lagging. Honestly I was in euphoria about going to be a doctor and did't study that hard. Depression struck.

Rather than getting up, study what I needed to I kept the assignments and studies on top of my mind as a baggage, that baggage kept on inflating as I kept studying slower and slower.

I am under crippling depression because that habit of postponing tasks and Excusitis has penetrated many aspects of my life. It went to an extreme that I even endured kidney stone alone at home and didn't see a doctor.

I am 40, have been diagnosed by US Doctors as Depresssion - NOS and by Indian doctors as BP with Schizoaffectibe disorder and borderline personality.

I know what the reality is.

It was my own lack of effort in initial phases that created all this..personally I still believe that my brain is as healthy as any regular intelligent person but my habits ( late sleep, irregular diet timings, social seclusion, )

My advice to all those who think they are bipolar will be this.....

Please think of having this disease as a brain pathology only if you think you were honest , conscientious and you made full efforts in pursuing what you wanted to do.

Its very tough to acknowledge that we developed this disease because of our own Excusitis, lack of will.power but at least in my case I wired my brain as a depressed brain myself.

I created jail in my mind since I was teen. None stopped me from going to a new movie, a restaurant, or shop clothes, or meet friends. I did because I didn't made an effort to get out of depression.

Bipolar disorder as a brain disease may not be even existing in many persons who think they have that disease. Life is beautiful, try going for a trekking in a group in a different culture settings. If your mood changes then can not we say that there is no brain disease.?

Comments welcome