Gambling, sexual behaviors & spending sprees!

Hi everyone,

Just want to know how many of you experience these symptoms from your illness or is it part of your personality? It's getting harder to distinguish these days because I find so much enjoyment in gambling and spending that I want to do them even though I know my hubby will leave me. So I hide them from him and try to find ways to have some fun.

Though this can occur in many people when they are having a hypomanic or full blown manic episode, gambling and spending addiction(s) are not necessarily confined to those with Bipolar disorder.
In other words, one doesn't have to be Bipolar to have these addictions, just about anyone can fall into such addictions.
I know several people who are gambling addicts, and a couple who together were so hooked, they lost nearly everything they owned.
When they were on a winning streak(s) they had bought 2 vacation homes, had terrific cars, a boat, etc. besides being sucessful with their family owned banquet restaurant,which they also lost.
Now they still have there home, they had to do a reverse mortgage in order to survive. Both are in their late 70's and at one time had it all, now just reduced to their little home,poor health and crappy car(s).
My point is neither one is Bipolar.
I'm not saying having Bipolar disorder can't fuel spending sprees,gambling,drinking and any other addictions, but one doesn't have to be Bipolar to have these behaviours.
There are various treatment plans and/or support groups that may help a person with these addictions.
A Pdoc or therapist can direct you to an organization in your area or neighboring county, if you are looking for help with this and want to help save your relationship.
It also helps when a spouse/partner gets involved in order to help and understand what's happening or causing this, which in turn can benefit both.
I wish you lots of luck with this.
Take care,
DE

When I get hypomanic, I can get a bit careless with the spending. I do have a lot of unnecessary debt because of it. I also can get reckless with driving during those times, easily doing speeds that could very well get my license revoked or worse. I tend to get hung-up on grand plans when I'm hypomanic. Alot of times they revolve around financing. So I might put things in motion before I've done enough research and I get bit in the ***** because of it. I've made poor choices looking for the miracle cure for debt and short term financial growth. Also, I've gone through 3 car purchases in the last year. Rolling negative equity over on each purchase.

Here's my state of mind in hypomania:

This will work.
It is the only way possible.
This is the best and only solution to the problem.
We need to execute this now, now, now!

I just bought a car last weekend.
But I think this time, I got lucky and had time to come to my senses a bit. When I evaluate the decision I made, I think I made a good decision. Believe me, I had some insane ideas this time around too. My wife can attest to that. It's definitely crazy when you look back on it, but it seems so right and sensible at the time.

Thanks Darkeyes,

I don't do these things very often anymore, but they did start when I was first diagnosed with bp last year. I don't crave to drink or spend or gamble, I just enjoy doing these things especially during any manic or hypomanic episodes. However, I totally agree with you that it can occur without having bipolar disorder. Thanks for your input and nice to meet you.

Hi Pughead,

Thanks for sharing and giving me your story so I can relate to it. I wonder what makes us do such risky things, oh don't forget I almost had an car accident a few days ago due to my careless driving. I also tend to be overly sexual and even made verbal advances to my therapist. How embarrassing! Thank God he understood why and forgave me. The whole time I never even felt guilty or embarrassed that is until the next time I saw him. I think I become uninhibited and express my thoughts and feelings no matter what. I haven't gone any further than flirt. I did kiss 4 men while I was gambling during the 4 months of my hypomanic and mania episode last year. That was my worst because I spent over $9,000 on a charge card. So when my hubby is still angry and emotionally neglects me I just have to understand. I wounded up in the hospital after that episode and my marriage is still suffering.

(((((((( justpassingby )))))))))))))

Just an update to let you all know that I did go gambling today and you won't believe it but I won $1500. I soon left and deposited the whole amount in our savings account, then felt guilty and took my hubby to lunch. I hope that this will satisfy that urge to shop and spend money.

Nice to be lucky...I would agree with darkeyes and pughead...

Might I suggest that you ask the place you gamble at to put you on a list of individuals who are not allowed to enter...

Plenty of ways to get around it...it would be at least one way to help avoid that...

Spending sprees...this is a tough one...it was a sprending spree summer for me...ouch...might be possible to keep your credit cards locked in a safety deposit box at a bank...again making it a bit hard...eliminate the debit card...require two signatures on all checks...

Sexual behaviors...with hubby have at it...if you are going out make sure you go out with a friend that will help you see through eyes that aren't "up"

I'm spouseless now...but I'm thinking about the whole credit card thing in my safety deposit box...that might work for me...usually nights and weekends I tend to spend...generally when the bank is closed...

I chopped up and discontinued all those "store" charge cards, cause it can get out of hand or fall into wrong hands, where a person can have a spree on your account.
Limiting oneself to one or 2 cards can help?
I still think my DX was overkill, for I do NOT have any sex drive, no energy, and no longer buy stuff, especially clothes, since my 45lb weight gain.
But all this and more is a whole other story, maybe some day I'll post what and where my DX may have been overkill.
Who knows? Just wanted to add my 2 cents of one of the ways I cut back on spending and having multiple charge accounts.
Lots of luck with this.

To Direction & Dark Eyes,

I guess I get what I deserve, I lost $300 yesterday when I went gambling and took it out from our savings account. Now we are left with no funds to turn to. I had to use to winning money to pay bills this week. My luck turned bad and I made a horrible choice to return and lose more money yesterday. First I was dealing with severe depression two days ago and had thoughts of suicide. I dealt with those feelings by reaching out to you guys and distracting myself from the pain. Then the next day I felt better, rapid cycling here I guess, and then went to try to win more money. The mood swings are horrible, but I rather be happy and have fun than be in the slumps of those depressive episodes. I know what I did is wrong and I believe it is part of my hypomania. I don't really crave to go gambling, except when I have those mood swings or get very angry with my husband. I don't know whether it is an addiction yet for me or not, I hope not. I did go last year to one meeting for gamblers anonymous, but I hated it and had nothing in common with any of what they were saying. So I went months without gambling and didn't really miss it too much.

The spending sprees are another problem. I go on them quite frequently and buy purses galore even though I have over 50 purses I bought in just one year. This I know is a huge problem, because I change purses every week and have a new one each time it seems. Sometimes I feel bad and guility and others I don't. My husband has most of our cards, but I still do the bills as he can't do them.

The sexual inhibition I have is only during hypomania times, and because my relationship with my husband is not intimate for a long time, there's nothing to worry about. I do think of other men, but it's usually by therapist I have the hots for. Am I sick or what? The weight gain I have now, really puts a damper on my sex drive and makes me feel so undesirable to him or anyone. I don't think my husband loves me anyone and I know he is not attracted to me so I have a loveless marriage which is like living with a roommate. He supports me financially, but emotionally is unattached and has more feelings for his female boss that's single than he does for me. I am very jealous of her and she knows it. They have more in common and things to talk about than with me. I feel so left out in the cold. Things are just about as bad as I can see with no way out for either of us. Marriage counseling isn't really helping. How can you make someone love you and be attracted to you when all the meds you take make you gain so much weight? I'm so miserable all the time about everything in my life.

I feel exactly the same my hubby is ready to leave me over my spending...I have no where to go no job...I dont know what I will do or to do...

Hi janey Blue,

Spending money is like a turn on when your manic isn't it? At least that's how it is for me. The same goes for any kind of spending, gambling etc. However, I spend funds that we don't have and later hid what I buy. I feel guilt afterwards and the thrill is then gone. That is until the next manic or hypomanic time. I don't let my husband know what I do or he would leave me I know for sure as he already warned me not to gamble or overspend anymore. These are just some of the risky behaviors that goes along with my bipolar illness. My pdoc thinks now I have a gambling problem, which maybe I do. I don't know.