[justpassingby]

Hi I am new to this group, but I want to share a horrible experience I had a few weeks ago. I went to another city on the recommendation of others to get longer term treatment for my bipolar disorder and depression. However, when I arrived their doctor took me off all my meds and put me on Geodon and lowered Lamictal, plus took me off Effexor XR more slowly. However, two days later I had suicidal ideations and perhaps a plan so the doc baker acted me. A cop showed up and handcuffed me behind my back until we arrived at the hospital which was over 30 minutes away. I have claustrophobia and extreme panic and anxiety attacks. All I did was cry and try to breathe with no air in the back seat. I was treated like a criminal and then had to stay 1 day or more in the emergency room waiting for a bed. I was frightened being away from home and no one knew where I was at. After 6 days they discharged me back to the treatment facility for almost 3 weeks. During this time I had severe side effects from being off certain meds, couldn't sleep and paced the halls at night, and suffered extreme anxiety and panic attacks especially at night. The point I am trying to make is that when I decided the new med was making me nausea I refused it. They also refused to give me any of my medical meds as well like my blood pressure med etc. Not until I agreed to start taking their meds again did they give me my med. Be careful because when I am hospitalized in my hometown, they usually don't disrupt the meds until I have agreed to take me or if they aren't working well enough. You can ask your doctor to keep you on your old meds until they can speak with your regular pdoc. Now I am being weaned back on my old meds with consequences because now I am spinnining again into hypomania and also depression. Just thought I share my story with you all.

[smiley1984]

that sounds terrible!!
I think it highlights the importance of knowing your rights when you're a patient.

I feel lucky because where I live they can't make you take anything (unless court ordered) and I am sure it is against the human rights act to refuse to give you BP meds unless you take their meds. (isn't that called blackmail??) And as long as you are willing to have treatment they cannot put a court order on you. So if you say I will go to this hospital with that dr, they can't legally do anything. but here the laws also differ between states just to make it more confusing

I'm sure you will be more wise and weary in the future

[justpassingby]

Thanks for your support and yes it was horrible. All it did for me was to keep my thoughts and suicidal feelings to myself as it is going to be hard to trust anyone in that field again. I really do need all of your support now as I now you must also need mine. At this time I will try my best to answer you as best as I can. As I said I think my hypomania is back again and I might be more needy than at other times. Thanks again

I am so sorry this happened to you. Can you contact the patient rights advocate where you were being treated? I would have them take a report. Also contact your local NAMI office. I had some issues with hospital using restraints on me under horrible inhumane circumstances. NAMI can help.

[justpassingby]

Hi Twirls,
I thought about reporting it but it was the police who came into my treatment facility where I was receiving care for a few weeks to learn some better coping skills etc. The cop said that it was their practice of handcuffing mental health patients for their safety but this is not standard practice at least in the city where I live. They treat you as people who need care and appear to be more knowledgeable of the illness. I was not threatening anyone or anything and how could I escape while being baker acted? I might just contact NAMI for the first time and inform them, but I feel it's probably a waste of time. However the fact that the facility would not give me any medical meds unless I took all meds such as their new psy med Geodon is reason to notify someone of this practice. Thanks for your concern and support. I hope to get to know you better so maybe I can help you.

[AAAAA]

Oh my. I really am sorry for the experience you had! In my state they are not permitted to hospitalize you without your consent except in extreme cases, and this is only a 36 hour suicide hold in a regular hospital.

I am sure your civil rights were violated (you are American I assume) and I really hope that you are able to do something about this, not only to assure it does not happen to you again, but so that it does not happen to others as well.

Good luck and I am so sorry you had to experience this.

[justpassingby]

Thanks AAAA for caring. I live in Florida and they have a 72 hold to keep you hospitalized if needed. If they can get two separate psy doctors to sign off on committment papers then they have the right to keep you longer and even longterm committment to keep you safe if they feel that is a problem. Right now I am concerned because I don't feel well and I am experiencing extreme anger and agitation, poor impulse control and sometimes feel out of control about certain things. I only have two days left on my insurance for the year as you can see I've been hospitalized quite frequently. In January it starts all over again and my benefits get reinstated. I'm not sure where they would send me if needed. My husband is over it already and seems like just one more he's had it with me. So much pressure to stay stable and in control.

[sunrise]

justpassingby, what a horror story you have experienced. Did you have someone advocating for you "on the outside" while you were hospitalized, such as a friend or family member? I often have to watch over my father's medical care when he is hospitalized (not for psych reasons) because the hospitals always screw things up, give the wrong meds, forget to give essential meds like heart medication, etc. He needs someone to talk to the doctors for him, understand everything, advocate for what is best for his health, etc. I know we shouldn't have to do this, that hospitals should be competent, but they're not. You need extra help from the outside when you go in the hospital. Can you make a plan with a friend or your husband to help you if it happens again?

I am hoping you can remain stable and stay safe. Please keep posting and let us know how you are. Do you have a therapist who can offer support at this time?

[justpassingby]

Thanks sunrise, I think I was just so sick and suicidal at the time that nothing really mattered. However, it's been about one month now so I can see how much it hurt me and especially my trust in the system. I feel some better right now, but my pdoc says it's probably because I am hypomanic. He gave me the med I was on before I was hospitalized again and it seems to help with the agitation somewhat, but it's still too soon to know. It's called Invega, in the family of Risperdal. He's having to titrate me back onto Lamictal and Trileptal to get back to the level I was on prior to them taking me off all my old meds. This means that I will have to put up with the mania and depression which I tend to have rapid cyclying and mixed episodes. These two are truly hard to treat so I understand why I am not very stable. It's been 2 years almost since my diagnosis and still my pdoc is working on the right cocktail. In the meantime I feel all jittery and uncomfortable in my own skin and using very poor judgment in my decisions. I need all your help in staying out of the hospital this time as I only have two days left on my plan for this year and don't know where they would put me if my condition gets more out of control.

[AAAAA]

AWWWW justpassingby. I really am so sorry for what you are going through! Of course you're angry who wouldn't be with this over their head! If the need arise is there a way you could check yourself in or have the doctor of your choice check you in to a facility that will treat you according to your own doctors wishes? Something so that you are more in control of the situation.

My thoughts are with you and hope you are doing well.

[justpassingby]

Now that I am back home I feel better and more assured that I can be treated with more dignity and respect. What I am afraid of is that if I do need any hospitalization, where would I go if my insurance exhausted my benefits until Jan 08? It's not like I want to go back into the hospital, but what to do just in case I really do get totally out of control or severely depressed again where I become suicidal. Right now I just feel some hypomania and moderate depression together. I guess that's why I also have mixed states of bipolar as well. I wish I could just have "simple" symptoms that were easier to manage, but no I have to be a rapid cycler as well. Thanks to all for your support, it means alot.

[Merlin]

Sometimes severe suicidal impulses can be managed with the help of friends and family rather than hospitalization. If necessary and if they were willing, they could stay with you 24/7 until the urge subsides with the help of you psychiatrist. Just another possibility.

[justpassingby]

Thanks Merlin,

However, my husband works full time plus overtime and we have a 10 year old son. There's no other person or people who might be able to help out with watching me just in case that happens. I am going to keep seeing my therapist and pdoc as scheduled and hopefully the increase in Lamictal and Trileptal will help with those symptoms. Believe it or not just being able to express myself on these posts really helps too. Someone is always there and I can just type myself into oblivion and get out my feelings. However I know the rule here about if they should become serious you are not allowed to voice them in this forum. So for the meantime I will continue praying and taking my meds. A good night's sleep also wouldn't hurt. Right now my main concern is to be safe and keep my hypomania an depression down to a point where I can manage it by myself. Thanks again for all your concern I really do need it as do many of us here.

[AAAAA]

Justpassingby - I don't know if you've ever visited the chat site here, but it is truly an amazing place! If you come in and coffee chat is going on and you need help or just someone to talk to that understands what you're going through, all you have to do is jump into the conversation or pop into support. Someone will be with you shortly. Keep that in mind those times when hubby is working and you just need someone to talk to!

If you wish, you can pm me and I'll give you my email info, I'm online quite a bit so I'm probably here.

Hang in there and keep your chin up. You're not alone.

[justpassingby]

I think I might need some help or should I just enjoy the hypomanic ride I am on right now. I've just cleaned my bathroom, shower, under the kitchen sink, washed all the clothes and put them away, balanced the checkbook, took my son's lunch that he forgot to school, cleaned out the bird's cage, and now I'm ready to clean out the refrigerator and organize the foods into containers or something. It feels great to have this much energy which allows me the ability to do things that I used to do, except not all in one day. I feel happy on top of the world especially since I won $1500 yesterday at the casino. Of course I had to hide it from my husband. I need some input as to what I should do. Do I just continue with the roll I'm on or what? I really would like this feeling to last. My husband even noticed how much better I seem to feel and all I did yesterday too. My only concern is when I come down how far will I go? It always seem to fall way down in the slumps of severe depression or it could go towards a full blown mania episode. Please send some words of wisdom my way. Oh I forgot to say I feel so wired up and unable to sit still long enough except to write this post etc

[AAAAA]

Just,

It sounds like your manic hon. I do miss that energy. I hope you don't crash!

[justpassingby]

Hi AAAAA,

For a few days there I was really worried that I might have to go back to the hospital to be safe and get stable somehow, but after my pdoc said I could increase my antipsychotic med, Invega to 6 mg, it seemed to calm me down and relax me. Must be pretty strong med to do that in just a few days. I seem to be switching back to the depression side, which is always my worst phase. However, I am doing whatever necessary to stay busy and not think too much about it. Posting online seems to help me in between my therapist visits. It's been 3 weeks or more since a visit and I see him again next Wednesday. Thank God. My pdoc appt is also next week so I just have to hang in there until then. Thanks you all for the support during this time it has helped me alot.

[justpassingby]

Merlin,

I want to let you know that I averted one hospitalization yesterday for the first time. This site had a big part in keeping me safe and distracted me so much and even made me laugh. I owe my life and sanity to this site and I want to say Thanks

It's hard to explain but yesterday my world was kicking my bottom so hard I wanted to scream, but I knew no one would hear me. I felt so isolated and numb inside that I didn't care what really happened to me. I called my T and tried to call my pdoc but couldn't get through. So I leaned on the people here who reached out to me. I am so proud that I didn't succumb to being hospitalized as always. It's not a great place to be, but when you need to go you should. Just check out all the details and make sure you know what's going to happen especially if it's your first time. It could be very scary, but for me it was necessary to save my life.

[Merlin]

I'm so glad we (psychcentral) could help you. Always feel free to lean on us.

((((justpassingby))))

[justpassingby]

(((((((((((((((hugs to you Merlin))))))))))))))

and all those who have been standing by me!

[amysmom9098]

I sympathize with you hon. I'm bipolar too, so I know how it can be, and I've also had some really freaky hospital experiences. But I've gotten some help from my caseworker, a social worker assigned to me by the counseling center where I go. Do they have anything like that where you are? They aren't therapists, but they are someone you can talk to a little in an emergency where you can't reach a therapist, and they can be an advocate for you both with doctors and while in the hospital.

And I know being in the hospital is not fun, and it does seem hard to trust the system at times, I know. But I would hate to see something happen to you. If you feel like you might hurt yourself, do you think you can go to your local emergency room? I think in most states they are required to give you some kind of help if you are expressing suicidal thoughts, even if you don't have insurance.

[justpassingby]

Hi Amysmom,

Thanks for your support. I do feel somewhat better that past few days. I think journaling and posting on this site really made a big difference. Yes to your question about having a mental health center where I live, except for one problem, I used to work there until last year. So that's completely out of the question. I see a private pdoc and have a private therapist. I see my T regularly every week, and my pdoc once a month now. He just increased my Trileptal and is working towards 1200 mg per day. He also gave me Lexapro samples to titrate on for one week, then gave me 20 mg of it for my severe depression. He knows that there is a risk of it causing hypomania, but I really do need it. So I'll let you guys know how this works for me.