[Wander]

Just saw my pdoc and he wants me IP due to me drinking and taking Clonazepam to deal with the severe agitation. I guess I agree but I really done want to go. I’m scared. Living is terrifying. Seeing T tomorrow will see what he thinks. I trust him more. If he takes me off Clonazepam toofast I will go bananas as I’ve been on it 8 years. This is the first time I’ve abused it like this. Maybe it’s passively suicidal. I really can read my mind. Going

Yeah, drinking with clonazepam doesn't sound good. If you think you're going to do it again, you should go to IP before you see your therapist. Better to be safe imo.

[Blueberrybook]

Drinking with clonazepam sounds like a recipe for disaster. Going IP sounds like it might be the best thing for you. If you are not sure you can not touch alcohol, you should just go IP. I wouldn't wait for the therapist.

[Wander]

Thanks guys! It has been confirmed I will be admitted IP round midday tomorrow (Wednesday in Australia). Tonight is my last night at home alone so I am drinking but not taking anywhere near as much clonazepam. Stoned too. Guess I'm playing up before the admission. Staying safe though. Can't hurt my family and friends. Ambivalent about going IP but know I will be forced to at some point soon anyway. Gotta calm down. Really gotta calm down. Agitation off the charts.

I hate to be blunt, but you need IP right now if you're going to continue to drink on clonazepam. Your pdoc said it's not good and he wants you in IP for that reason. I would listen to him.

[Pookyl]

Originally Posted by Wander

Thanks guys! It has been confirmed I will be admitted IP round midday tomorrow (Wednesday in Australia). Tonight is my last night at home alone so I am drinking but not taking anywhere near as much clonazepam. Stoned too. Guess I'm playing up before the admission. Staying safe though. Can't hurt my family and friends. Ambivalent about going IP but know I will be forced to at some point soon anyway. Gotta calm down. Really gotta calm down. Agitation off the charts.

From one Aussie to another, do you remember the line in the movie ‘Castle’ that went “tell him he’s dreaming”?
You’re not staying safe. You’re not even close to being safe. Being stoned + alcohol + clonazepam is a recipe for disaster.

[Wander]

Originally Posted by Pookyl

From one Aussie to another, do you remember the line in the movie ‘Castle’ that went “tell him he’s dreaming”?
You’re not staying safe. You’re not even close to being safe. Being stoned + alcohol + clonazepam is a recipe for disaster.

One part of me doesn’t care, the other part is terrified. At least I’m going IP tomorrow. Will miss my T appointment. His wisdom would’ve been helpful. Promise I won’t take too much tonight. I just don’t want to be left with the agitation.

[bizi]

When I drank I always took my klonipin.
It is a .5mg dose but sometimes when I could not sleep I would take an extra 2mg. But that was not often.
I don't know how much of klonipin you were taking.
stay safe
bizi
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[cool09]

Anti-psychotics will help with agitation. Benzos won't do it. Geodon and zyprexa worked for me. What a relief.

[Wander]

Originally Posted by bizi

When I drank I always took my klonipin.
It is a .5mg dose but sometimes when I could not sleep I would take an extra 2mg. But that was not often.
I don't know how much of klonipin you were taking.
stay safe
bizi
((((HUGS))))
bizi

I have been taking 8 mg a day and sometimes I can't even keep track.

[Unrigged64072835]

Hope it goes well with IP. Sorry that you're having a rough time.

[hopeless2015]

Sending HUGS, I'm sorry your going through this, keep safe

[*Laurie*]

8mg. per day and drinking alcohol is dangerous. ODing is terrifying. If all of a sudden you can't breath and you're lying there desperately trying to get a breath, but can't, you're going to be one sorry-as sed person. Too bad, no going back.

You need to be IP now, now, now.

[Wild Coyote]

Hey Wander,
So sorry you are having a rough time.
I am sorry you need to go IP again; yet, it sounds like it's for the best at this point. Thanks for keeping us in the loop.

My Best,

WC

[Wander]

Thanks so much for your support and comments everyone. I go inpatient in four hours. Made it through the night. Hardly slept but about to go for a swim as it’s a hot morning and I have no aircon. For the time I’m in the water I feel better then crash afterwards. Still don’t want to go in but know I have to. Will update you when I’m sort of settled in hospital. Really hope treatment helps quickly. I need this to be a quick hospitalisation. Last one was two months.

[Wild Coyote]

(((((( wander ))))))

[*Laurie*]

Keep us posted.

[xRavenx]

Hugs. Please hang in there. I am so sorry you are struggling. You have our support.

[bizi]

WE will be right here....
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

[Wander]

Update. Well I am in hospital and just saw my doctor and he put me on Clopixol with Benzadropine(sp.??) to counteract side effects. It is supposed to get rid of agitation. Guess I will see. Last time I took it (year or so ago) I almost fainted but that was a much larger dose. Running out of options as I've tried most AAP or AP and they don't work or produce great weight gain.

My mind is spinning. I panic. I don't want to be here but I know I should. At least for a week anyway. F***, why can't I just calm down and get my brain back so I can get on with my life. Lithium levels were 0.16 so he lowered my dose but I still think its too high. He seemed happy to wait a few days before testing me again. Sigh ... It is so surreal being in this room. I am not supposed to be here. My mind is playing tricks on me again.

[Wild Coyote]

Thanks for the update.
I hope you will clear up quickly.

WC

[bizi]

I am hoping they take good care of you there.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[wildflowerchild25]

Wander I completely know the feeling of strangeness being back in IP again. That happens to me each time I go. It was the worst back in October because I had been out for so long (2.5 years) but I was also psychotic so I was like whyyyy tf am I here I am not supposed to be here I am supposed to be home with my son! Yet I know I need to be here because my brain wants me dead! It was terrible.

I hope your suffering eases soon.

[Wander]

Originally Posted by bizi

I am hoping they take good care of you there.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Thanks. It is a great hospital. Most of thee nurses seem really nice and and caring. I should be well looked after as long as dud nurses are not assigned to me too often. My doc is brilliant too. He is a man of science and won't give me anything that medical science doesn't back up. I appreciate that.

[Wander]

For those who have been following my thread I am two days IP. He has put me on Clorpixol (sp..) and Benztropine to manage side effects. It seems to be helping z bit. He is slowly reducing my Clonazepam too. Still feeling low and agitated at times after the meds wore off. Haven’t see my pdoc in two days. Hoping to see him now. He’s a great doc but terrible at managing his time so always runs late or doesn’t come at all when IP. I’m scared for no reason and get panicked. The hallucinations seem to has quietened down. Thanks fully. Yet I dtilll feel like in a very strange art film. No one or anything is real. Makes conversation difficult. My Mum and a Dad visit me every day. I am so thankful for that. I have few friends who would visit me and they don’t usually have the time. It gets lonely in here.