[GoldenSnitch]

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

I've been having terrible anxiety in the mornings since lowering my trileptal. Hoping that will go away. It's so bad I'm getting chest pain periodically. Trying to let things level out a bit before increasing my Latuda. Having a lot of anxiety about raising it though. Finding taking meds scary at the moment. Going to be a rough morning at work, so I hope my anxiety level doesn't get too bad.

I hope your anxiety doesn’t get too high today and you get your meds sorted to a dose that works for you. Hugs

[GoldenSnitch]

Originally Posted by spikes

Clozaril not working yet. I don't think it will because my problems aren't caused by not being on an antipsychotic. I'm sick of fighting myself and everything around me.

That feeling of fighting everyone is so awful. I hope you’re feeling better soon. Hugs.

[Blueberrybook]

I went for a 6 mile walk and feel like I sweated out 5 lb. of water. I should have gone earlier but couldn’t work up the motivation. It was a hot walk. I’m exhausted now and trying to cool off.

[Daonnachd]

Hypomanic, but too embarrassed to describe all my symptoms. Yesterday I only told my T that I was doing quite well, but I’m planning to be completely open with her next week as long as she promises to not throw me out.

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by cln1812

I went for a 6 mile walk and feel like I sweated out 5 lb. of water. I should have gone earlier but couldn’t work up the motivation. It was a hot walk. I’m exhausted now and trying to cool off.

You’re such an inspiration. Thank you.

[pirilin]

So much happiness I'm gonna burst!!!.

I should really consider mood tracking again for a little while. My moods have been quite labile. Sometimes it's not even immediately apparent. Then I think about things I've done (or not done) and how my feelings throughout the day vary, and I know I'm not quite back to where I should be.

Yesterday I felt like I was falling into depression, or at least very low motivation and energy with a tendency to isolate. I couldn't even remember the last time I showered, and I knew I hadn't been brushing my teeth enough, either. In the morning I went to feed my pet parrot and realized that I hadn't changed his food for...too long. He still had food, but it was very close to being gone. I do change his water, but even though the food dish is literally 8 inches away, I don't look there. Guilt filled me.

Then today is a totally different situation. I'm writing up a storm, gardened, did a lot of laundry, cooked, did dishes, and feel energetic and content. I finally took a shower. I think I would have even if I hadn't been sweating, but I knew I needed a total shower. Now I feel refreshed, and even more content.

[Unrigged64072835]

Some days I have to laugh at the absurdity of my life sometimes.

Quiet day today. Still no Artane so I took a muscle relaxer. It helped some but I'm drowsy. I still managed to get two loads of clothes done and took a shower. Making salad for dinner so that'll be easy.

Daughter's boyfriend has an interview for a bank teller job. Hope all these interviews will turn into job offers soon. About five weeks left before they all move out.

Bummed that I couldn't get into anything, but okay otherwise.

[Scooter9]

A 'feeling low day' today - I've been like this for months yet I'm holding on. I haven't showered and shaved in a long time...I'll force myself to do it tomorrow.

[wildflowerchild25]

Had an ok day today. Still slept when I got home but not after I picked up my son. Preparing to drop $200-$300 on meds tomorrow. Pissed about that. I did send out my cobra paperwork today so hopefully that takes effect soon and I can go back to my ten dollar copays.

Didn’t apply to jobs today. Hope to do that tomorrow.

NV not talking much and it’s getting on my nerves simply because I’m bored lol and I want someone to talk to.

About to go to sleep just because I’m so bored 😑

[UpDownMiddleGround]

Not doing so well today.

[bpforever1]

I am doing ok. The man I met does not want to help me so our fling ended. I am glad and am free again. I probably won't date for awhile. I realize he wanted to use me for speaking English and other things. So, I am satisfied to find out his true character. I don't need people in my life who want to take advantage of me anymore. I had enough of those kind of people.

I will enjoy what I have and survive. I have an ok life so don't have any complaints.

Earlier today we patched God in on a conference call but he subsequently fled the interview, arousing suspicion among church, clergy and faithful alike.

[bpforever1]

I am tired. I'm waiting for a response from the man I was dating. I will give him time. I'm so tired and stressed out that I have no patience for anybody or anything. I will wait until the end of this weekend for him to respond. If he does not, it is over. He does not want to meet me this weekend because I asked him for help. So, it is not looking good but I'm going to be nice and patient. We shall see what happens.

[Cocosurviving]

Originally Posted by UpDownMiddleGround

Not doing so well today.

Do you have a therapist you can call and/ or your pdoc? (If you take meds).

((((Hugs))))

trying to relax.

actually been a tough week (see my other thread)

chronic pain is being a ***** today so it's not happening that much

[hopeless2015]

Pdoc appointment went good. I really like this new doc. Talked about my drinking and gambling and finding other things I like to do and that this is compulsive behaviour. I'm stable otherwise. Going to work everyda and med compliant.

I closed my checking account and my paycheck goes to husband's account now. That's the only way to keep me from gambling my money away. Makes feel bad that it came to this but it's for the best.

HUGS to everyone!!

[Scooter9]

Originally Posted by Scooter9

...I haven't showered and shaved in a long time...I'll force myself to do it tomorrow.

I slept way too long today but I did it...showered and shaved and a bunch of other things. I'm still low but am able to bring myself to do these things today. Depending on how I feel, I might do some cleaning tomorrow with my wife.

So, I don't know if this new job will work out. The location was changed to Seattle, and well... no offense to people living in Washington, but I'm not a fan of all that rain and the overcast skies. I mean, if you look up "typical Seattle weather," it literally rains 12-14 days a month between November and April.

I'm conflicted. I might tell them no even though the salary is amazing. I can't deal with bad weather all the time. It's a dealbreaker for me. I know I won't be happy.

[Unrigged64072835]

Got a bunch of calls and one email out, all for physical health stuff. I'm still waiting on one call back, but I'm not worried about it. ETA: Was able to get a med I've been without for two days, right before the pharmacy closed for the weekend. Hallelujah!

Otherwise a slow day, mainly because I had been taking a muscle relaxer and just felt drowsy for a chunk of the day. Will be able to relax and enjoy the weekend before another round of appointments next week.

Daughter has yet another job opportunity, this one to do closed captioning for local TV stations. Waiting to see how that turns out. She'll have to be able to drive herself so not sure if this one will go through. All the kids are out at another friend's house; apparently this friend's parents bought him a VR headset and game, and daughter's boyfriend will be unexpectedly trying the game out.

Mood is pretty good today, despite the grogginess earlier.

[Scooter9]

My second update today - I got a very big coffee from Starbucks...lots of espresso in it, lots of chocolate, lots of whipped cream, lots of sugar.

Looks like it was too much...it really activated me. At least I wasn't feeling low for about two hours! Had lots of energy!

It has passed now and I'm back to my usual self...maybe I'll get it again next week

the pdoc was out today for PHP and they're not open on the weekends. I'm not considering inpatient. I want to see if anything changes when I get to 100mg on the clozaril I'm at 75 now and 100 tomorrow night.

[giddykitty]

I need to speak freely. Where's that dang trigger alert button?! I don't want to get in trouble.

TRIGGER

It's not as bad as others have expressed here, but it's bad for me and it's scaring me that I'm getting closer and closer to more serious self harm. Gestures, to scratches...ok, I've said it.

I'm feeling so guilty for getting that far and that makes me feel worse. I've been analyzing why I did/do this and other than the obvious things being too much, I wanted to feel something, I think I'm screaming out for attention. But not really??

See, I got upset when pdoc agreed that I might not have bipolar, and maybe i don't, but something is enough wrong with me that I get so upset and even frequently make gestures/have thoughts. Something is off balance and I can't get to that happy feeling anymore. Exercise that I've taken up again is helping, but i haven't gotten feeling good again yet...not enough to save my mind...but I really need to make some changes. Still gaining weight. I'm laying off the trailmix and adding my walking routine/ yoga on my better days. Hope all these things start working and soon!!

My psychiatrist remembers my past better than I can.

[wildflowerchild25]

I had a good day today. I didn’t want to go to program but went anyway. I really feel like I’ve gotten all I can out of it. I want to be discharged ASAP. I think my review date is Tuesday so my discharge date will probably be then. I have to leave early on Tuesday anyway for chiro and pt for my back. The only problem I’m going to have is filling my time. I’m worried about that. I’m thinking about applying to target or somewhere just to have a job to fill the hours until I can get something that pays more. If they would accept me since I can only work days. They usually like nights and weekends. I don’t know. I don’t like being unemployed. It’s scary.

NV is being really sweet to me today which is nice. We were hoping to see each other but it didn’t work out. He didn’t get out of work until late. We are going to try again for Sunday.

I think I’m going to search for some jobs and then go to bed. Sounds good to me.