[liveforsummer]

Anxiety yday pm and this morning. Totally situational. Unexpected things that presented themselves to me I was unprepared for and one was me blowing something away out of proportion and becoming paranoid. Ugh. It can only improve.

At the hospital with BF. Again.

He was having the most bizarre behavior and I didn't know what to do. There was no communication possible, he was just thrashing and crying out with a wild look in his eyes. It'd gone on for hours, but when it got bad, I dialed 911. They admitted him through the ER into the ICU and I'm currently waiting while they get him set up in his room. They haven't been able to figure it out either.

He had to he sedated, obviously and they gave him a shot of something powerful. They told me it's also an amnesiac, so between that and his state of mind, I don't know what, if any, he will remember. I won't be surprised if he turns out to have no idea how he landed here.

Good times. Sigh.

Other than that, mood fine. Wouldn't mind getting some sleep, but there's someone else in the waiting room here and it makes me too hinky

Originally Posted by Innerzone

At the hospital with BF. Again.

He was having the most bizarre behavior and I didn't know what to do. There was no communication possible, he was just thrashing and crying out with a wild look in his eyes. It'd gone on for hours, but when it got bad, I dialed 911. They admitted him through the ER into the ICU and I'm currently waiting while they get him set up in his room. They haven't been able to figure it out either.

He had to he sedated, obviously and they gave him a shot of something powerful. They told me it's also an amnesiac, so between that and his state of mind, I don't know what, if any, he will remember. I won't be surprised if he turns out to have no idea how he landed here.

Good times. Sigh.

Other than that, mood fine. Wouldn't mind getting some sleep, but there's someone else in the waiting room here and it makes me too hinky

Sorry to hear that. I hope he will get better soon.

Please update us on how things are going. That sounds very stressful.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

At the hospital with BF. Again.

He was having the most bizarre behavior and I didn't know what to do. There was no communication possible, he was just thrashing and crying out with a wild look in his eyes. It'd gone on for hours, but when it got bad, I dialed 911. They admitted him through the ER into the ICU and I'm currently waiting while they get him set up in his room. They haven't been able to figure it out either.

He had to he sedated, obviously and they gave him a shot of something powerful. They told me it's also an amnesiac, so between that and his state of mind, I don't know what, if any, he will remember. I won't be surprised if he turns out to have no idea how he landed here.

Good times. Sigh.

Other than that, mood fine. Wouldn't mind getting some sleep, but there's someone else in the waiting room here and it makes me too hinky

Oh dear!
Thinking of you and your BF.
Gotta run but will check back in later.
Wish I could sit with you.
Love and Prayers,
WC

Thanks so much blue and WC. The chaos and wth is happening are stressful, yes. They ran a seizure test on him this morning, but won't have results till later today. So meanwhile I'm heading home with one big thing (electrical shut off notice bill) to deal with besides the room, which looks like a hurricane went through it -- God what a mess. Vomit, sheets (previously freshly cleaned...sigh) dvds and even some broken glass all on the the floor from him grabbing at shelving and the bed. I'm not looking forward to getting back and seeing it all again. But I also plan on actually sleeping in the bed tonight, so deal with it I must...

Mood-wise I'm holding pretty good, though a bit wobbly. Feeling overwhelmed, but trying to not let it engulf me. I shudder to think where I'd be without my meds. Which I'll be taking just as soon as I get home(!)

[giddykitty]

feeling a little better today. My problems haven't gone away, and I'm still suffering a lot of anxiety (I think my cortisol is high too) nd I'm kinda depressed at how I keep gaining weight, but I walked the treadmill last night and I'm going to try to make it a habit once a day now.
ha! Well, unfortunatly I have to do it at night because I'm too anxious I won't have time to do it during the day and ...ugh, I'm too tired of this anxiety talk to finish this post.

Fun bit though (sarcasm)-while I showered this morning, I had gotten myself all worked up that someone was going to break into the house and murder us all while I was in the shower. It's bad enough to be murdered, but the murder in the shower cliche...comeon, that's so embarrassing. Anyway, I don't know. Just sick of this ****. I don't need these worries.

p.s. I'm leaving my excited mood. maybe it will help me get more positive.

been on an okay day.

notm uch depression- just a boring day with not much to do.

ended up watching stories on youtube

meow said the cow and the cat in the hat

I'm going to increase my Ritalin to 20mg twice a day from 10mg twice a day. Got my pdoc's permission after leaving him a voicemail. Let's hope nothing baaaaaaaad happens. I need the added concentration for my interview prep.

[liveforsummer]

Hugs Innerzone how’s your BF? Any test results yet?
Thinking of you

[Unrigged64072835]

Daughter's cat is doing fine now. Gave her pain pills and letting her sleep a lot. She might be out here this evening.

Kids now have applied for an apartment. Move in date is July 13th! That's great because our utilities and groceries will go down about a month sooner. I'll miss conversations with my daughter, but I won't miss some idiot doing their laundry at 10PM. She also sent out a bunch of job applications for stores near the apartment, so I hope she'll get something soon.

Had T today and that was fun. T did help with things to do with the adrenaline after "crisis" situations. I'm glad we kept it light today.

Emptied out the large freezer to defrost and inventoried the dishes to sell. Unfortunately the latter didn't yield much (it would cost more to ship than what we would get back) so debating whether to keep or donate. My husband would say donate, but he has half the basement filled with his stuff.

Mood is good.

[Faltering]

I'm really hesitant about increasing to 120 mg (max dose) of Latuda tonight as my pdoc instructed. 80 mg seems to be helping already. I guess we'll see what happens.

[salsharia]

Originally Posted by Faltering

I'm really hesitant about increasing to 120 mg (max dose) of Latuda tonight as my pdoc instructed. 80 mg seems to be helping already. I guess we'll see what happens.

Worst case scenario- you go back down to 80 which you know works. It’s a no loose situation. Wishing you all the best ❤️

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Faltering

I'm really hesitant about increasing to 120 mg (max dose) of Latuda tonight as my pdoc instructed. 80 mg seems to be helping already. I guess we'll see what happens.

I like to keep my doses as low as possible, too, especially with the AP meds.


WC

[gem85]

Very tired and lethargic today. Feeling sad. Just trying to remind myself that it is just brain chemicals and not a permanent state and it will pass.

Originally Posted by liveforsummer

Hugs Innerzone how’s your BF? Any test results yet?
Thinking of you

Thanks, liveforsummer. They called and said the seizure test indicated that he wasn't *currently* having seizures, though the Dr. did say they have him very heavily sedated. The test (unfortunately) wouldn't indicate what was happening at the time I called 911. He said the might try to let him wake later. I hope I can at least get the laundry done and back home before they call --I asked if they'd call beforehand so I could be there, since he'll probably be shocked to be at the hospital (and definitely shocked to have a ventilator(!))

I'm at the laundramat now washing the sheets. Got the room cleaned up. A couple of the library dvd cases got damaged. Stepped on when they were trying to get him out of there no doubt.

While on the phone, they got my consent to give him a spinal tap to see if there's a brain infection. Lovely. I don't know *what* to make of it all...

[251turnaround]

Feeling absolutely f a n t a s t i c today, errr... tonight! Rexulti has completely stabilized me and now I feel better than I ever have. It's like a more stable version of stable. I'm more stable than the current build of Windows 10! eheh that was bad. Sorry.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Thanks, liveforsummer. They called and said the seizure test indicated that he wasn't *currently* having seizures, though the Dr. did say they have him very heavily sedated. The test (unfortunately) wouldn't indicate what was happening at the time I called 911. He said the might try to let him wake later. I hope I can at least get the laundry done and back home before they call --I asked if they'd call beforehand so I could be there, since he'll probably be shocked to be at the hospital (and definitely shocked to have a ventilator(!))

I'm at the laundramat now washing the sheets. Got the room cleaned up. A couple of the library dvd cases got damaged. Stepped on when they were trying to get him out of there no doubt.

While on the phone, they got my consent to give him a spinal tap to see if there's a brain infection. Lovely. I don't know *what* to make of it all...

I am just catching up with this.
I am so sorry you are going thru all of this.
I hope that your BF gets some answers soon, can't believe that they put him out so much that he had to be put on a ventilator.
(((((HUGS))))))
bizi

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I've had happy hypo for the last week or 2. I very rarely get happy hypo and it never lasts that long. My pdoc suggested this might be a normal mood. Which I've been considering.

However, it is 3 AM and I just cleaned my kitchen which is an excellent sign I'm going up and fast.......I have had a migraine that even vicodin didn't touch and sometimes that agitates me but 3 AM is way too late. I took my pRN klonopin and I guess I'm going to take my PRN gabapentin.

I hope this doesn't mean I'm about to destabilize. I'm going on a huge family reunion vacation in 2 weeks and I need to be ok for that.

I'm scared......

today I got a spam email that really got me angry... hi, I live in russia, and I'd love to speak to you on the phone- I won't share your number hun.

I'm thinking.... oh **** off. you don't even know me- but did the wise thing and never responded to the person.

it is not too hot today yay!. actually we're meant to get some thunderstorms later. oh I love thunder, it's so rare we get it here in the UK, but when we do it's so nice

yesterday for dinner I had pork ribs. their wasn't much meat on the ribs, but I suppose it was a nice change

again I didn't sleep.

mood's okay.. maybe a 6 or 7

After yesterday it's become clear if I ever want to go on meds again I'm going to have to switch doctors as the receptionist outright said I could not make an appointment with him. I looked on psychology today and the closest place they have listed is over an hour away and it's seems like just a place people to go to get Suboxone, nothing else is listed. My insurance website is saying I need to go to fricken Mordor if I click "treats bipolar"

Meanwhile I'm working with screaming kids during the day and it's no louder than when I'm at home trying to sleep.

I feel revved up on this new dose of Ritalin (it's doubled lol). Maybe it'll pass and go away... hopefully?

I just started the new dose today, so we'll see. Hopefully nothing bad happens, as I have a 2nd round of the interview coming up and I can't afford to be in a bad place. I don't know the date of the next round, though. I have to wait for the recruiter to get back to me.

Anyway, I'm going to try some reading (hopefully this new Ritalin dose does the trick?), then try some programming problems so that I'm not rusty anymore and instead prepped for the interview.

[Unrigged64072835]

Innerzone, sorry to hear about your BF. Hope the doctors can find out what's going on.

Blue, I hope your recruiter calls soon.

Everybody else--hugs if you want them and double if you're struggling.

---------------------

Decided to keep some of the dishes and boxed them up. Went to Target and bought a new CrockPot, a new throw, and a back scrubber. We looked at the InstantPot, but not getting it now. Went through the kitchen with my daughter and gave her the large CrockPot. We won't be needing 5 quarts after they leave, and my 3-quart was made in the 90s and starting to go out. The throw replaces the nice one on the couch that the cats fight over for napping. And the back scrubber--think that is obvious.

It wasn't much moving but I sweated a lot so I took a shower, then sweated some more so I'll need another one. It's only 84 F outside but 73 F in here. May have to go out and see if the condenser needs cleaning. We've seen cottonwood seeds so it probably does.

Still stuff to do but it'll wait for later. Keep reminding myself that we still have about a month and a half. I'll need to do laundry and clean the bathrooms tomorrow.

Mood is tired but good. Just hope I'll sleep okay.

[Daonnachd]

I had ECT yesterday and came home and slept 16 hours. I feel great - I just need somebody to tell me what my name is.

[Cocosurviving]

It’s been a long time but I’m starting to feel symptomatic. I’ve been under a lot of stress lately. I have my oldest daughter IP and I was having problems with my youngest daughter’s school all the up until the last day yesterday. I was on a e-mail with the school principal, my daughter’s counselor and I included the state board of education. The principal called me and apologized. She admitted she dropped the ball and should have followed up with me. My daughter is not returning to that school in the fall.
I just woke up from a nap and ate something. I had to turn the tv off. I’m sensitive to noise right now. I just need quiet. I’m going to try find my coloring book. I called my pdoc’s office Friday and left a message for the director to call be back. We discussed her changing my pdoc because my last one was a religious nut.

[Cocosurviving]

Originally Posted by vertigo

I had ECT yesterday and came home and slept 16 hours. I feel great - I just need somebody to tell me what my name is.

((((Hugs))))