[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

I suppose I should expect it.

I mean that's all she's done since the moment I was born.. find ways to abuse me

Jeez, that's terrible. I am sorry you've had to deal with that.

[Daonnachd]

I have a little less than four hours of work sitting here by myself hoping for an email or PM from someone. When done here I have a meeting with my T, though I don’t know what I want to talk about.

Originally Posted by vertigo

I have a little less than four hours of work sitting here by myself hoping for an email or PM from someone. When done here I have a meeting with my T, though I don’t know what I want to talk about.

Talk about the progress you've made and been working on together.

AGITATION I think it's from the Zoloft.

I'm concerned about the interaction between Zoloft and Tramadol.
Serotonin syndrome is a huge worry.

I don't even think my doctor is aware of the dangers.

I might make s come along tea

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by 2ISAB

Talk about the progress you've made and been working on together.

That’s a good idea. I’ll keep that for future use as well as today. Cheers.

[giddykitty]

Hey all! Feels like it has been awhile. Im still entertaining guests, but get a bit more "me" time these next few weeks. oh but my PC kinda broke down and this tablet/tablett keyboard is a bit of a pain in the ***.

anyway, well more me time because half our guests left and the others can manage more on their own. Sigh, but it also gets boring and reminds me of how lonely i will be again after they all leave. This update was about how my psych eval results meeting is tomorrow and what i will find out could just be that i am deppressed because or when the house is empty. nah, nah, there is more to it. But i think i will not have time for therapy (dbt therapy) until folks here leave. Not to mention, I dont really want to discuss it with them, even though they could probably be very good in helping me work out my issues. I forget what else i wanted to say, just hello and stuff!

[Blueberrybook]

I exercised this morning, and before I left home to see the gastroenterologist, I noticed my iPhone was stuck on headphones mode even though I had removed the headphones. I had a couple minutes to read easy fixes on the internet, tried them, none worked. Well, on the positive, my gastroenterologist's office is near the mall, the location of the nearest Apple store (about a 45 minute drive if traffic is good).

Saw the doc first, said my weight was low but not worrying him as I had lived most of my adult life prior to the year before I got this ulcer weighing about the same. He said the type of ulcer I had (duodenal) often feels better after a person eats, so I could have subconsciously been eating more to ease pain from it, but I hardly had any symptoms except such minor heartburn, I never thought it worth seeing my PCP or even using an OTC solution for it, so I doubt I would have been eating more to ease pain. So who knows? Maybe I gained 20 lb. because of the ulcer. Myself, I think it was because I was on Seroquel XR at the time, and it made me very tired. I would sleep & sleep, so of course, I was burning fewer calories. At that point in my life, I would have spent every day in bed asleep nearly all the time if I could have. I slept a lot while my daughter was at school and husband at work. Thank God the regular release Seroquel works for me.

Gastro doc told me I should not have stopped taking Protonix (oops). He put me right back on it. Apparently, I am going to be on this stuff the rest of my life unless I have complications and have to try another option, but he feels Protonix is the best choice for now. Otherwise, the appointment when fine. My scar is apparently healing nicely (though I hate it), everything is good. At least, my next visit there is not until 6 months now.

I took my phone to the Apple store in the mall, which is always insanely busy. I actually got an appointment in an hour, which is fast. I've had to wait 3 hours in the past for an appointment. Guess it was lucky to arrive before the lunch crowd, right after 11 AM. Did a little shopping, bought a new bra at Victoria's Secret. Hubby was not happy about the price, but one of mine is falling apart. He didn't realize it had been 6 years since I'd gotten any new bras (once I weaned from breastfeeding, yes, I was bad and nursed on Cymbalta along with occasional Klonopin but it was mostly comfort nursing after age 2; for us, it was the right decision. I wouldn't do it differently). At least, I have good luck with the Victoria's Secret bras lasting. My chest measurements are dismal though, 32A, I might as well have nothing up there.

The Apple store people fortunately got my phone off headphone mode and told me do not exercise with it because if sweat or water gets in the headphone jack, it can get stuck on headphone mode, which may or may not be fixable. Great. What am I supposed to exercise with now? I had my husband pull out our old box of cell phones; there are some real vintage ones in there, but we had HTC smartphones before iPhones, maybe they can load the music (might be tricky coming from iTunes though, but I think I might have an old list of mp3s I bought off Amazon ages ago I could sort through). I also found a super cracked iPhone that I'm hoping will charge and work good enough to run MapMyRun and a music playlist. I'll see.

[Unrigged64072835]

Apparently it may be two weeks now for my daughter to retest for her license, instead of two days. She now has a bunch of remedial work to do, including a 4 hour online course and 24 hours of supervised driving. Husband used his credit card to buy the right setup for the parallel parking test. Of course she and her friend are not here, nor have been here all day. My husband has to drive her to job training across town during this time. I've had to cancel my physical therapy until she gets her license, because he'll be too tired from driving. I hope she does half the driving to get her hours, but who knows. We've also reserved a U-Haul truck to get all the stuff out of our house and her friend's parent's house next Friday. Next week will be long. She is wearing us thin. My husband made the mistake of telling her I was mad yesterday, and now she's afraid I'm going to explode on her. We're all frustrated about this situation I'm sure.

Tried to call the contractors to change the bill so they don't do the window. Nothing. Will have to call the manager tomorrow if need be.

Despite this, I worked on a couple of photos, did my physical therapy, and wrote a poem. I really need to keep a positive attitude. My daughter will move out, get her license--and we all can move on with our lives.

I'm stressed and tired, though.

I'm feeling so sick today. And everything I've done so far has made it worse. I wish I could just fall asleep and wake up on Saturday morning.

[Miss Laura]

I'm good today.

I saw my Support Worker today. She thinks I'm manic cause I spent over £100 on Amazon. I don't feel manic. I see my worker in 2 weeks then my Psychiatrist a week later then my CPN 2 weeks after that. I have made a list for my psych appt. I'm generally in his room 5-10 mins then that's it for another 6 months. But this time round I'm promising myself I'm going to be honest with him instead of lying saying everything is fine. Got about 20 points to talk about ooops!

Meant to be out tonight with a friend but she has rescheduled it for tomorrow. Now she has invited another friend who I like but I kinda just wanted it to be the 2 of us. But hey ho. So I'm out on Thursday at 5:30pm for a meal and a catch up.

I kinda feel like I'm not dealing well with things at the moment. I'm just heading it all. Mum had a sever stroke in Nov I've lost my Mum in a sense as she can't talk and isn't really coherent when she attempts to talk. She lost her ability to walk too. She's getting there but progress is majorly slow. I love her to bits and sometimes I cry cause I've lost her. My Dad isn't much fun compare to my Mum. I've put them both through a lot with only just being diagnosed at 25. I lost my job and they supported me through thick and thin. I'm doing my best to support them but sometimes I'm so exhausted I feel like a bad Daughter. Then I've let everything go and ice lost interest in things I use to be good at like volunteering. I had a kinda life now I am just existing. I'm not even living I'm just here in my own wee world

not a very good dinner

not terrible but not the best

spent the evening rocking out to music. I love my music collection

it's special and i've spent a lot of time updating it

[DeFyYing]

I had some med changes since coming back from the hospital, and either the Latuda or Gabapentin is making me hypomanic. It sucks man, I'm doing some terrible stuff. I wanna swap my Lithium for something due to the acne it's causing but my pdoc thinks it works too well for me to stop using it. Well **** I can't tolerate this acne anymore, it makes my body dysmorphia go crazy!

[Scooter9]

It's my first day on an increased dose of Latuda. No change so far but I wasn't expecting anything so soon.

Still feeling low but I was busy today... I did some shopping, helped my son with his car, and did a little cleaning.

I have a really early start tomorrow morning but the plus side is that I'll be able to get my favourite coffee in the morning.

[scatterbrained04]

I'm still kicking lol. Still staying pretty stable. It's been a nice change of pace lately. Haven't been up to much except work and a little bit of prepping for a beach vacation I'm getting ready to take with my family. I have a lot of travel related anxiety, so I've been a little stressed. I'm hoping I can chill and not be so anxious because this trip is supposed to be fun. My son is getting sooo excited.

[Fuzzybear]

Today hasn’t been as bad as “expected”

Makes me think of the song

“Then of course she had to crash
Valium would have helped that bash
Hey babe, walk on the wild side

[zijax]

I had surgery today on a skin cancer near my eye. The shots hurt. Now three hours later and the wound hurts. I am accepting pain as part of living in this world. It is a collective ph pain.
I am sure many of you are experiencing pain of some sort right now. Whether it be physical, emotional or mental. I am being kind to myself. I wish you all to also be kind to yourseves and diminish the inner critic. Sending love to all of you.

What the hell

This company who recruited me set up a time to interview me and never called me. Then I rescheduled for a time to interview today. Never called me either.

I'm not interested anymore. I basically said (politely), "thanks but no thanks." If they're not going to make the effort on their end, then I'm not going to make an effort on my end. They can find somebody else to interview. I'm going to refuse to interview if they ask me again for an interview. I don't care if they will increase my salary by 50%.

Some people are just irresponsible and/or don't give a ****. I don't know why they want to waste my time, and I don't want to work for someone who can't get their act together.

Anyway, CT scan tomorrow morning. Ick.

[Lifeischallenging]

Hey guys, I've been in a depressive slump the last few days. I think it finally went away though. I think it has to do with me trying to make friends. Everyone always tells me they are busy, and that starts making feel like they don't anything to do with me. I'm still trying though. I have plans to go to the movies with him tomorrow after work. But I'm also nervous because he wants me to meet his friends. Maybe that will be a good thing.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

My wonderful spell is over. I'm missing my mom and I'm missing my therapist. I'm tired and want to sleep and do little else. Not a big depression but depression nonetheless. I'm hoping it will just go away when they get back. My mom is back late Saturday and therapist is Monday.

it's just frustrating to live with this ridiculous back and forth thing I do while dog sitting (because my cats deserve attention too of course) because it not my routine.

Oh well. Tomorrow I hope to get to the store and library.

[Victoria'smom]

So my husband, son, nephew, and I went on a college tour today. My nephew went to his mom’s house first. He had no shoes. She asked what he was doing today then flipped out that he was going to have to take out loans to go away to college.Yeah I’m trying to find stable housing for your kid because you kicked him out and have acted like a ***** every time he tries to communicate with you. She even has his sister thinking that he won’t show up to her birthday because ”There’s nothing in it for him.”

Anyway we toured the college both kids love it. The plan is to have my nephew in the university by spring semester. The transfer admissions person said he’ll get in if he applies. The financial advisor is setting him up with scholarships and if that and loans don’t cover everything (they should). They’ll set him up with a payment plan if need be. We’ll try to cover it until he gets a job.

So even though my son will have an AS he’ll still need to apply as a freshman. So that means as of right now he doesn’t have the grades or the SAT scores. Luckily he has a year to pick that up but that’s another $100 at least on testing.

So they fell in love with the campus. My nephew pretty accurately described it as hogwarts for STEM. Each class is 20:1, lectures are recorded and live streamed, the different labs are awesome, the dorms are ridiculously modern.

So I got home and my sister asked how it went. I told her they loved it and he’s likely to get in for Spring. She started to talk about how she hopes he doesn’t take out loans. I nicely said grants and scholarships give him X and dorms alone cost XX so he’ll have to take out loans. I got her to chill about that. Now I’m just relaxing with a headache. My meds are not fixed so I’ll be choking down a dimond tonight. Today was a good day.

I don’t know how nice I can continue to be with my sister. I’m usually very forgiving but this hard.

[VerMOZZica]

Had the pdoc yesterday and that went ok. Today I was feeling very blue I woke up at almost 11:OO am but stayed in bed until 12:00 pm. Then had lunch and went back to bed. Took a shower around 3pm and just watched tv.I didn`t get much done today and I feel like a total loser. Finally I made dinner and cleaned up the kitchen.

[Wild Coyote]

Cannot sleep. Family toxicity. That's one drawback of having my mother live with us, as she stays connected to toxic family drama. I have a sister and BIL who are constant trouble. Sister has undiagnosed/untreated PD. I try to stay away from toxic family members.

WC

Diamond Head just caught fire and my WTF meter overheated. Send a bipolar support dachshund immediately.

no sleep again.

got some shopping done this morning (at least enough to last me until monday), but apart from that I've done nothing.

irritation is really high today, only because I told someonen ot to do something, and they ended up doing it (you know how it is, people just have to do the oppositte of what you say)

little depressed I guess too.

[yellow_fleurs]

Saw my pdoc yesterday. I will increase my Lamictal dose to 200 mg next week. I still can't tell if it is helping, but I think it may be? I definitely seem less depressed, but am sleeping a lot less as well, and still having outbursts of irritability. The irritability has improved overall though. He tried to ask me if I was feeling better, but with my moods cycling I told him that was like asking me if I would rather be very depressed, irritable, or happy but self destructive, so I really can't gauge that yet. Feeling happy for a couple days has not been a good indication. So, I guess I am hopeful that it will get better at 200 mg, but if not my pdoc said he will conclude it is not helping. Not sure what we would try at that point.