[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by cln1812

I could look each med up, but does anyone know which are the ones that tell you not to overheat? Just wondering if they are morning meds and/or XR meds.

Usually it’s the APs that have the heat warnings. Though I’m sure any med could have a heat warning.

[Unrigged64072835]

Not much happening today. More working out and computer stuff.

Hope is well, and lots of hugs if it isn't.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

Feeling kind of off today. Had a severe swing into depression yesterday that had me in bed as soon as I got home from work. Woke up still feeling bad and had issues with derealization most of the morning. Feel a little bit better now but very exhausted. I usually only get depersonalization/derealization with severe episodes. So now I'm worried.

I am sorry you are having a tough time.
I hope it passes quickly.
Nice to hear from you! Was wondering how you have been.

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

I'm seeing my old therapist for likely the last time this afternoon. It's very sad since I believe I liked her more than any other therapist, and I've had many. She recently moved her practice far away from my home, so I had to find a more local therapist. My husband has been driving me to my old therapist's new location almost every other Saturday for a few months, but that just can't continue. I want to finally introduce my old therapist to my husband today and hubby had the nice idea of bringing her a flower arrangement.

At this moment, I feel kind of numb. I'm not sure if emotions will increase as I say goodbye to her. I'm so used to people leaving my life.

I hope your appointment goes well. It can be quite a challenge to say "goodbye" to therapists we like. Thinking of you.

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by vertigo

Hmmmm, I got tons done yesterday, slept about half my usual, and I feel good. I wonder if this is the start of something I'll have to fight. ...or just the absence of depression.

It's too bad we have to wonder like this, instead of just enjoying the change; yet, we do have to keep an eye on things.

You and yours continue in my thoughts and prayers.

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by cln1812

Checking in this morning. I've been doing much better about taking Protonix in the morning. I am not sure if it is because putting it in front of the coffee maker helps me or if taking it in the morning on an empty stomach is just easier to remember. Maybe it's a little of both.

I am still thinking I could be mixed. We'll see what the day brings. My husband came home from work yesterday in a much better mood after thinking over our options while setting up his classroom for school. His students come back on Monday. None of the options are super, unless he finds a higher paying job he can commute to from here, and/or if I can find a day janitorial job with him having a higher paying job with much better insurance (they give teachers here insurance with a $7500 deductible), not a night custodial job, possibly working in a school kitchen too, fewer hours but it would be during the day or me substitute teaching. But we do at least have options. Others would require us losing and having to store our most of our belongings in an unairconditioned place. My parents do have a large quonset barn on the farm they inherited from my paternal grandparents. That would mainly help with furniture and things not subject to destruction from heat, like gardening tools, some of hubby's garage tools (our garage is air conditioned though, with a window unit).

Just having my husband in a better mood helps. On Wednesday, he came home very depressed and anxious, even crying and said, "I think I'm done. Just done." He has had the worst job history ever that is not even his fault but due to financial cutbacks and bad luck (failing startup companies). He does not have mental health problems; this is just stress. The last time I saw him crying and so upset (not counting talking about his mother's death) was in late 2008 and 2009 when he needed back surgery because of the pain and couldn't even pick up our 1 year old daughter (and she was small for her age). He has lost his temper a few times about the situation, throwing stuff outside and even knocking down most of the Christmas tree ornaments, but it passes. He is not violent toward my daughter or me. I think there are times he has to let it out because he almost never does; it just stays pent up inside him.

I did exercise this morning, but it was hot & sunny with a clear sky, and I didn't want to overheat, so I cut my running in half and barely walked (maybe 1/10 of a mile) to get home. Now, it is 88 degrees with a heat index of 101 degrees (the humidity here makes it feel so hot).

I could look each med up, but does anyone know which are the ones that tell you not to overheat? Just wondering if they are morning meds and/or XR meds.

I am so relieved you have options!
I hope you have a good day today!
You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers.

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by hopeless2015

Popping in to say hey..things are going ok. Keeping up at work and things at home are better. Hubs us doing a side job this morning, then we are upgrading our phones, then motorcycle ride. Should be a nice day.

HUGS to all

Hey there!
So glad to hear from you and thrilled life is better for you right now!
I was thinking of you this morning, wondering how life is treating you.
Enjoy the ride and the weekend!

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

Not much happening today. More working out and computer stuff.

Hope is well, and lots of hugs if it isn't.

Hugs backatcha!
I hope you have a good day/weekend!

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Went to judo. Im full of endorphines now! Feel reFRESHed! One of the younger judoka got promoted today so as tradition states we each shook his hand and threw him. Then we got our picture taken all together. If I find that photo I'll share. :-)

I admire your dedication, Judo is VERY challenging!
Good for you!

WC

[yellow_fleurs]

Thought for sure I would feel more down today, but gosh does a good night sleep matter for my mental health. Woke up and the gears felt a little bit more in place. Then, my friend messaged me about an arts festival, and I started the day off with sunshine and socializing. That stopped me from sulking around. I don't exactly feel in control of my moods with my period on the way, but I feel more in control of my actions and a little bit of my thoughts. They don't run away on their own right now and get all loud and intrusive. Some are self destructive or really negative, but I can handle them easier. Also weird but I think caffeine can increase my SI perhaps due to making my thoughts louder/faster and increasing my anxiety/irritability? Not sure but that's weird it can affect me so much. Been decreasing the amount I drink and stopping before it is too late in the day. Hope these small changes continue to add up.

[Moose72]

Speaking of judo....

http://bipolarhallucidations.blogspo...today.html?m=1

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Speaking of judo....

http://bipolarhallucidations.blogspo...today.html?m=1

Neat!

Thanks so much for sharing!

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Thought for sure I would feel more down today, but gosh does a good night sleep matter for my mental health. Woke up and the gears felt a little bit more in place. Then, my friend messaged me about an arts festival, and I started the day off with sunshine and socializing. That stopped me from sulking around. I don't exactly feel in control of my moods with my period on the way, but I feel more in control of my actions and a little bit of my thoughts. They don't run away on their own right now and get all loud and intrusive. Some are self destructive or really negative, but I can handle them easier. Also weird but I think caffeine can increase my SI perhaps due to making my thoughts louder/faster and increasing my anxiety/irritability? Not sure but that's weird it can affect me so much. Been decreasing the amount I drink and stopping before it is too late in the day. Hope these small changes continue to add up.

Nice to read you are having a relatively good day!
Glad you feel more in control, which can be very helpful.
I was suicidal every month with PMS.
Interesting insight into yourself and how you mix with caffeine. Good for you!

I hope you continue to feel in control and you have a good weekend!


WC

[Moose72]

*sigh* .... After seeing that pic, I feel so fat. Stupid bipolar.

I said goodbye to my old therapist today. I brought a beautiful flower arrangement for her and she seemed touched. She gave me a kiss on each of my cheeks and later a hug. She is Turkish. She didn't regularly hug or kiss me, but weeks back grabbed me in a bear hug saying she couldn't help herself. She asked afterwards if I minded, and I said no. I had never been hugged by a therapist before, and until her, never would have wanted to be. She said that in Turkey it's not odd at all, but knows many American therapists are less inclined to be affectionate in that way and patients sometimes don't like it.

The truth is, though I am an affectionate person, it's really only with my husband and pet. I am occasionally affectionate with my siblings, but mostly only on special occasions. My dad and I usually hug when I say goodbye, and any affection with other relatives was always reserved for holidays. My mother was very affectionate, and I can't remember too many times I didn't hug her, other than some days as a teen. This therapist has reminded me of my mother from the earliest sessions I had with her. She's been an outstanding psychologist, but perhaps the transference wasn't ideal for a long-term client-therapist relationship. I had only been seeing her for 6 months before she was forced to move her practice far away.

I told my psychiatrist how sad I am that I will lose this therapist, but said that I look at her as a very special person in my life who was only meant to be short-term. I told him that she was almost like a little birdy (representing my mom) who came to me to finally end my grieving process. I believe this! Right now as I write this I am not crying, but rather smiling at the thought that someone as special as her visited my life to tell me that I'm OK and am doing well.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

I said goodbye to my old therapist today. I brought a beautiful flower arrangement for her and she seemed touched. She gave me a kiss on each of my cheeks and later a hug. She is Turkish. She didn't regularly hug or kiss me, but weeks back grabbed me in a bear hug saying she couldn't help herself. She asked afterwards if I minded, and I said no. I had never been hugged by a therapist before, and until her, never would have wanted to be. She said that in Turkey it's not odd at all, but knows many American therapists are less inclined to be affectionate in that way and patients sometimes don't like it.

The truth is, though I am an affectionate person, it's really only with my husband and pet. I am occasionally affectionate with my siblings, but mostly only on special occasions. My dad and I usually hug when I say goodbye, and any affection with other relatives was always reserved for holidays. My mother was very affectionate, and I can't remember too many times I didn't hug her, other than some days as a teen. This therapist has reminded me of my mother from the earliest sessions I had with her. She's been an outstanding psychologist, but perhaps the transference wasn't ideal for a long-term client-therapist relationship. I had only been seeing her for 6 months before she was forced to move her practice far away.

I told my psychiatrist how sad I am that I will lose this therapist, but said that I look at her as a very special person in my life who was only meant to be short-term. I told him that she was almost like a little birdy (representing my mom) who came to me to finally end my grieving process. I believe this! Right now as I write this I am not crying, but rather smiling at the thought that someone as special as her visited my life to tell me that I'm OK and am doing well.

I can relate in a bit except the medical professional I'm losing is my pdoc of 10 years. She is the best pdoc I've have, the most real, the most personable, and losing her to retirement hurts, but she is a wonderful person and desires to enjoy this phase of her life.

I am sorry for the loss of your therapist; how long were you seeing her? It sounds like you had a wonderful relationship with her, and it is a blessing she was there when you needed someone to grieve your mother's loss. You are right some people are meant to come into our lives briefly, but they touch us deeply nonetheless. I try not to feel sorry about losing the best pdoc I've ever found, but instead realize I am blessed to have had a good 10 years with her. And she kept me out of the psych hospital the entire time There were some close calls with that to be sure, and one extremely close incident when I was horribly manic.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Thought for sure I would feel more down today, but gosh does a good night sleep matter for my mental health. Woke up and the gears felt a little bit more in place. Then, my friend messaged me about an arts festival, and I started the day off with sunshine and socializing. That stopped me from sulking around. I don't exactly feel in control of my moods with my period on the way, but I feel more in control of my actions and a little bit of my thoughts. They don't run away on their own right now and get all loud and intrusive. Some are self destructive or really negative, but I can handle them easier. Also weird but I think caffeine can increase my SI perhaps due to making my thoughts louder/faster and increasing my anxiety/irritability? Not sure but that's weird it can affect me so much. Been decreasing the amount I drink and stopping before it is too late in the day. Hope these small changes continue to add up.

Some people are affected a lot by a little caffeine. My sister had a Starbucks frappuncino one day around 1 PM and told me she could not sleep at all overnight.

I am glad you were able to get out and have fun. Sunshine is supposed to help elevate your mood. Sorry about your period coming, such is being a woman LOL...mine is on the way out, but since my daughter was born, they come every 21-22 days. It's awful.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Moose72

*sigh* .... After seeing that pic, I feel so fat. Stupid bipolar.

You are not fat, and most of you is probably all muscle, the amount of judo you do. You are beautiful, and it's neat to see your class.

[Sunflower123]

My life, both present and future, seems very bleak today. I am both horrified and relieved that I’ve started the ball rolling. I’ll give myself a few days and see if I can work my way out of it.

Sending hugs to those that are struggling.

[Blueberrybook]

Sorry for all the check-ins I missed. I did read them, just don’t have the time and energy to post.

I’m still up and down, but most of the severity of the downs are not so bad. The ups maybe less major, but I did find myself immersed in a lot of projects today and thoughts of other things I should/need/want to do.

I did cut my running, only 6 miles today, no other exercise. My ED is feeling super guilty because sone friends of my husband’s brought fried chicken and biscuits, and I ate a biscuit, wing, and most of a thigh for dinner along with having butter pecan ice cream as a snack this afternoon.

I did decide I’d take some downtime this afternoon. IDK, my library’s book club read is making me feel slighted, as if all our circumstances of being part of the white working class poor are due to all our decisions, and that we put ourselves here by being lazy. It does not take into account mental health issues so bad you cannot work or bad job losses near here (funding cuts to NASA caused so many people to lose work, including my husband). I think I am not going to finish this book as it is making me feel depressed, lazy, and stupid.

I spent the afternoon watching a show off Amazon prime (Bosch). I have read all the books in the series and enjoyed them. I started watching this show when it first came out, but now it’s been so long since I’ve watched it, that I have to go back to the beginning.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

I said goodbye to my old therapist today. I brought a beautiful flower arrangement for her and she seemed touched. She gave me a kiss on each of my cheeks and later a hug. She is Turkish. She didn't regularly hug or kiss me, but weeks back grabbed me in a bear hug saying she couldn't help herself. She asked afterwards if I minded, and I said no. I had never been hugged by a therapist before, and until her, never would have wanted to be. She said that in Turkey it's not odd at all, but knows many American therapists are less inclined to be affectionate in that way and patients sometimes don't like it.

The truth is, though I am an affectionate person, it's really only with my husband and pet. I am occasionally affectionate with my siblings, but mostly only on special occasions. My dad and I usually hug when I say goodbye, and any affection with other relatives was always reserved for holidays. My mother was very affectionate, and I can't remember too many times I didn't hug her, other than some days as a teen. This therapist has reminded me of my mother from the earliest sessions I had with her. She's been an outstanding psychologist, but perhaps the transference wasn't ideal for a long-term client-therapist relationship. I had only been seeing her for 6 months before she was forced to move her practice far away.

I told my psychiatrist how sad I am that I will lose this therapist, but said that I look at her as a very special person in my life who was only meant to be short-term. I told him that she was almost like a little birdy (representing my mom) who came to me to finally end my grieving process. I believe this! Right now as I write this I am not crying, but rather smiling at the thought that someone as special as her visited my life to tell me that I'm OK and am doing well.

That was beautiful

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

My life, both present and future, seems very bleak today. I am both horrified and relieved that I’ve started the ball rolling. I’ll give myself a few days and see if I can work my way out of it.

Sending hugs to those that are struggling.

I am sorry you are having a hard time

[Moose72]

Added another picture from judo: me throwing the kid that got promoted

http://bipolarhallucidations.blogspo...today.html?m=1

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Added another picture from judo: me throwing the kid that got promoted

http://bipolarhallucidations.blogspo...today.html?m=1

This is GREAT!

I agree with cln, you are beautiful!

Thanks for sharing!

WC

[scatterbrained04]

Hey, nice to hear from you. Hope you are doing well. I haven't been on PC too much lately.

I've felt pretty ok today except my family kept commenting that I'm quiet and kept having weird facial expressions I didn't know I was having.

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I am sorry you are having a tough time.
I hope it passes quickly.
Nice to hear from you! Was wondering how you have been.

WC