Here's a brand new thread

[Nammu]

Thank you lavender for being on top of this and starting the new threads.

[salsharia]

Was manic for the last 4 days and am calm now, have my feet on the ground finally. Still feeling happy and energized but it feels normal happy. Not sure what’s next. It’s all new to me. My doctor anticipates a depression to follow but am hoping lithium catches me. I just want to believe that I’ll stay right where I am forever. But not manic because it’s also not pleasant.

[Merlin]

I’m just starting to come out of a bad depression. Today was okay. I’m not getting a lot accomplished, but I’m getting some.

[wildflowerchild25]

Thought I might see my boyfriend today but he can’t come. That just makes the urge to self harm stronger. Such a silly and immature reaction. And of course he’s the only person I want to talk to about this but I don’t want him to feel bad for not coming up and feel like he has to come see me. I might just text my SIL to take my mind off of it for awhile.

I think I’m pmsing again and that won’t help my mood. I really need to get on birth control to see if it helps. I’ll call on Monday.

[giddykitty]

I got some decent exercise in today after like I don't even know how long. I think the depression is finally lifting. That being said, I am still VERY sad and disappointed about some relationships that went bad and it makes me want to do stuff, destructive stuff, like unfriend my one remaining friend from there on FB. Except it goes further than that. I unfriend them, then I'm gonna want to unfriend everyone associated and then I'll worry that the rest will unfriend me. I'm so sad over this ****! Ruined my life! Of course that was after it making my life amazing, so you know, terrible crash, terrible devastation. My therapist couldn't help me get over this. I've stopped going. :/

[liveforsummer]

Mind started spinning while prepping supper. Feelings of being overwhelmed. Don’t like this cause it usually goes down hill. Sit like a pretzel all tied up in anxious knots.
Family over this weekend. I will try to make it happy.

Just tired. Zzzzzzzzzzzz

[BipolaRNurse]

It's been a really weird spring for me. I got hypomanic in March and have been flirting with my meds, going in and out of hypo, and what's even stranger, I started drinking after 26 years of total abstinence. Nothing triggered it that I'm aware of, and I'm NOT drinking to get drunk like I used to. I don't want to be drunk. I just want to sit down and have a beer with my son-in-law or a tropical drink on a cruise ship. I don't suppose I should be doing it at all, especially on meds, but as long as I stick with ONE drink I should be OK. And that's all I have, ONE drink, and I usually only have it on a weekend day. My psychiatrist is gonna love to hear all this...I have an appointment in three weeks. I wonder what he'll think?

[hopeless2015]

Well had a good night. One of our dearest friends had a birthday Sunday so we went for dinner and a couple cocktails.

I've finally admitted defeat with my money issues. My husband and I don't have a joint checking, but I've ****ed up my account over and over. He bailed me out and I'm closing my account and my direct deposit will now go to his account. I told him he's in charge of all the bills from now on. I'm ashamed at my age but honestly a little relieved. It's been a huge stressor for me. I've talked about my gambling addiction before, it's ugly. I think this is for the brest. Honestly, he could have just kicked my *** to the curb. He really is a good man. I'm lucky

HUGS EVERYONE

[salsharia]

Originally Posted by Merlin

I’m just starting to come out of a bad depression. Today was okay. I’m not getting a lot accomplished, but I’m getting some.

That’s a big step. Baby steps ❤️ One foot in front of the other is a big deal

[Naynay99]

Hey. Well today wasn’t as shatty as yesterday so I’m gonna call that a win. It’s funny, people who try to talk people out of being depressed Lways try to cheer them up by comparing it something they see as worse. “There are lots of people worse off the you. At least you dont have ...”. Which is usually some bad physical illness.

As someone who has experienced both , physical illness is easier. In fact, it almost legitimizes my feeling like shiit. Bc I have a reason for feeling bad now. And people are nice and go out of their way to help medically sick people. Anyway I suppose both illness just totally suck but I hate when people try to play the lets compare pain card, as a way to shame you into stop being mentally ill bc others are auffering with some worse illness...

So this was just a rant. Not sure if I even had a point. AnywY I am not doing so great. I’m okay, but I am NOT FINE. My mind is a hot mess of crazy lately. I am safe and still have some hope in my pocket, but I’m ashamed to say that I cannot promise myself that if things got much worse that I wouldn’t consider checking out early as an option.

So I have to stay vigilant and not let myself get pulled down any further. I’m just tired of hanging on to the edge of the world so tightly, with no one at all on my side. I feel alone and invisible and defective and pathetic. I just want things to NOT BE SO HARD all the time. Why is it that both my body and my brain keep trying to kill me???!!!

today their is too much conversation about the royal wedding.

it's everywhere!

I mean coverage on the tv channels here runs from 9 A.M until 3 PM.

is it really ****ing needed?

the cerimony sure (which starts at 12 PM), and maybe the arival of the happy couple to the church (which could probably start at 11/ half 11), but 6 hours of wedding coverage is too ****ing much

hiding in my soap operas today

[Faltering]

It's my birthday today. I'm hoping I can get some mental peace.

Made it back to work today...

[Unrigged64072835]

Took a shower so I can go out to a post-birthday lunch for daughter's boyfriend. His parents will be there too, so I should be somewhat presentable.

With the convention and the new museum exhibit there is still a lot of traffic. Thankfully there's shuttle service to the convention from various locations.

Despite two days of heavy antibiotics, the swelling on my neck hasn't gone down. Trying to figure out what to do next. I'll finish this round of meds first though.

Not much else is happening otherwise.

Hugs to those who want them. Double if you're struggling.

[MobiusPsyche]

Happy birthday Faltering!!

[WildcatVet]

What a screw up! I could tell I was about to crash and my PN called in a script for Latuda which I told her hadn't worked for me before and I couldn't possibly afford ($534 co-pay). She told the pharmacy not to refill my Abilify and completely forgot my Ritalin. I eventually got my GP to refill my scripts but it took almost two weeks to straighten everything out...two weeks on nothing but a low dose of Depakote. I'm feeling like I'm buried under a pile of rocks and can barely make it through a day.
I don't know what to do about this woman who is completely obnoxious and doesn't listen to anything I tell her! I even asked her about Vraylar which I was very happy with in the past, but she said no, that was only for schizophrenia. She also wants me off the Abilify because she "doesn't like it". Seems like the only drugs she does like are the ones that the detail men sell her on.
The problem is I live in a very rural area and this is the only programme available in this area. I'm going to talk to my therapist about her on Tuesday but I don't see any way around it. My GP asked me if I wanted to go IH for a couple weeks but I have responsibilities at home and don't feel I can be gone. What else can I do?

[hopeless2015]

HUGS to all!
Good day so far. Groceries are done and put away. At laundry mat, yuck but it has to be done. Pulled out a tote of clothes for the warmer weather so extra laundry this time.

[liveforsummer]

Happy birthday faltering!

Took a little extra sleep Med last night. Woke up later with phone in my hand...paranoid about what I text emailed or posted etc. Don’t think I did anything stupid. The phones going in my drawer tonight!

Good to see you Wildcat, it's been awhile. Sorry you are having such troubles.

I'm doing alright. Just finished a lot of walking around a neighborhood art walk, in a neighborhood MUCH MUCH nicer than mine(!) Bonus was seeing such beautiful gardens. One nearly brought tears to my eyes! Spectacular! Soooo, talking with strangers. Did pretty alright. That's a pretty good indicator actually.

I don't think it's hypo, it doesn't have "the feel". I think it's just how phenomenally ... I just need to get out of the house. It gets to me sometimes. I need a life. And I don't really have one.

[Nammu]

Haven't much food to eat around so went to the store, walked around and couldn't find anything to appeal so ended up with a meal kit. Kind of pricy but has everything in it, so easy. Really Mac and cheese is the only thing that sounds good. Oh well. Turned on the AC that helped really hate hot weather and it's not summer yet! Wish I had a soaker tub I'd spend my day with a good book and some Epsom salts.

Originally Posted by Nammu

Haven't much food to eat around so went to the store, walked around and couldn't find anything to appeal so ended up with a meal kit. Kind of pricy but has everything in it, so easy. Really Mac and cheese is the only thing that sounds good. Oh well. Turned on the AC that helped really hate hot weather and it's not summer yet! Wish I had a soaker tub I'd spend my day with a good book and some Epsom salts.

I've been avoiding the grocery store for two weeks now. Lunch has been grilled cheese for the past five days. So unhealthy. The grilled cheese thing everyday is getting pretty old, too. lol. So now I have motivation to go shopping. But I know that feeling you're having. It sucks.

Now that you mention the tub, I have to clean my shower now too. Ugh. So lazy.

[Amazonmom]

I realized I was gaining too much weight stuffing my emotions with food. I started a healthier lifestyle and WHAM agitated depression. I went to my doctor today and got some new meds. I'm not feeling well but the klonopin helps me relax somewhat. I have t been relaxed in weeks.

[wildflowerchild25]

I slept until 1:15 pm today, then again from 4 to 6:30. I did it out of boredom and maybe a little depression but not much. But again I feel guilty because my son was left alone (well I was on the couch so at least he wasn’t alone alone) all day. Tomorrow I vow to be up so we can play a game or something. I wish we could go outside but it’s been raining for like five days ina row here with more on the way tomorrow. At least it’s supposed to be warm tomorrow. Today it never got out of the fifties. Ridiculous for May.

I hate PMS! I wanted to eat everything today and did, even though I’ve been so careful with calories for months now. But I can’t lose weight. I only lost .2 pounds this week even though I was under 1600 calories every day. I guess I really need to be under 1200. But then I’m too hungry. At least I’m not gaining weight anymore. New meds make me not want to eat as much (when I’m not PMSing).

[Amazonmom]

Under 1200 is quite a small number. I am also trying to lose weight. I'm hoping I can maintain my loss on my increased meds. Bipolar weight loss buddies

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I slept until 1:15 pm today, then again from 4 to 6:30. I did it out of boredom and maybe a little depression but not much. But again I feel guilty because my son was left alone (well I was on the couch so at least he wasn’t alone alone) all day. Tomorrow I vow to be up so we can play a game or something. I wish we could go outside but it’s been raining for like five days ina row here with more on the way tomorrow. At least it’s supposed to be warm tomorrow. Today it never got out of the fifties. Ridiculous for May.

I hate PMS! I wanted to eat everything today and did, even though I’ve been so careful with calories for months now. But I can’t lose weight. I only lost .2 pounds this week even though I was under 1600 calories every day. I guess I really need to be under 1200. But then I’m too hungry. At least I’m not gaining weight anymore. New meds make me not want to eat as much (when I’m not PMSing).