[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

What you are doing is admirable. Best wishes on your upcoming ECT.

Thanks, Jenn. One thing I did realise about my ECT treatments is that the staff are incredibly caring. I have the sense of warmth emanating from them as I lay there on the gurney in that frigidly cold operating room. They're wonderful people and I'm very lucky.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Scooter9

Feeling really low today. No motivation at all.

But I forced myself to take a shower, the first in a number of days. I don't feel better.

I’m sorry you are having a tough time. Taking a shower under those circumstances is a big accomplishment. I hope you feel better soon.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

Thanks, Jenn. One thing I did realise about my ECT treatments is that the staff are incredibly caring. I have the sense of warmth emanating from them as I lay there on the gurney in that frigidly cold operating room. They're wonderful people and I'm very lucky.

They sound wonderful and I’m glad you have them around you while you go through that procedure. You are very brave.

[Moreta]

I feel like I'm speaking some foreign language nobody understands and it's frustrating. Like why is my husband they only one who understands anything right now. For example I'll say that i'm really having issues with x, they'll ask what i've tried, so I tell them what I tried, and people will ask some asinine question related to when I say what's wrong. I just what to tell them did I ****ing stutter? I swear reading comprehension skills of people are declining.

Also why does everyone have to be so judgy in a convo, then go "oh I'm not judging." Wtf did you just do the past 5 mins? Trying to make your conscious feel better by saying that?

People in general have disgusted me lately.

[Tucson]

I am here. I did not exercise for another day. I am unhappy about this. Next time I exercise, I will end up getting tired too quickly. I was just starting to get more stamina. My daughter is trying to sign up to a LPN program. The local community college referred her to another school who has an accredited program. Tomorrow I meet with my Vocational Rehab case workers. I then need to find out why my pdoc gave me enough meds for only seven days.

spent the night awake and in pain

showered today and feel gross for it (ugg body issues!)

- eaten breakfast and written up my menu for next week

and now I just chill

because it is common knolledge that I have the most exciting life in the world

*looks sarcastic*

I hope it’s okay for me to do my introduction in this thread. I’ve actually been a silent part of the community for awhile, but since a mee change I’ve been struggling a little, so am seeking out support and info wherever I can.

I’ve been paired on lithium and fluoxetine for 10 years now, and it totally turned my life around. I had A pdoc change recently and she is very against this combo bc she says it was causing me to be hypomanic (which I really don’t mind, bc I rather enjoy it, but I understand why she needs to adjust it). But ever since she removed it about 8 weeks ago, I have terrible anxiety and these weird crying spells and irritable flip outs over nonsense things (e.g., a coworker was mildly rude, so I went back to my office turned out the lights and punched the wall and cried for a half hours. Just way over the top ridiculous reactions like that, that I can’t explain why I feel that way).

I looked up some natural anxiety reduction techniques and have had some help (like removed caffeine, started these diaphragmatic breathing exercises, etc), but it is still so bad and I’m constantly afraid I’m going to lose my job. I really dislike the typical anti anxiety stuff they give me, like Xanax or Valium or whatnot, bc even .5 mg just puts be right to sleep. Are there other medicines I can ask the doctor about? There is this constant gnawing in my stomach, even if I’m not actively worried about anything. It’s like my body constantly thinks I’m in danger, even if I’m just sitting on my couch doing a crossword.

[Blueberrybook]

Waiting on lady to call back regarding a social advocate...supposed to call this AM. Almost 10:30 now and nothing. I didn’t run this morning because I thought she might call. Anxiety is through the roof. I feel like a might cry or scream any second. Sometimes one of our cats wants to eat and keeps weaving between your feet and legs. It won’t be time to feed them wet food, and they have dry food out...if I am like this, I am prone to yelling at them though the cat is not the real issue, if that makes sense?

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by IRememberMyFirstBee

I hope it’s okay for me to do my introduction in this thread. I’ve actually been a silent part of the community for awhile, but since a mee change I’ve been struggling a little, so am seeking out support and info wherever I can.

I’ve been paired on lithium and fluoxetine for 10 years now, and it totally turned my life around. I had A pdoc change recently and she is very against this combo bc she says it was causing me to be hypomanic (which I really don’t mind, bc I rather enjoy it, but I understand why she needs to adjust it). But ever since she removed it about 8 weeks ago, I have terrible anxiety and these weird crying spells and irritable flip outs over nonsense things (e.g., a coworker was mildly rude, so I went back to my office turned out the lights and punched the wall and cried for a half hours. Just way over the top ridiculous reactions like that, that I can’t explain why I feel that way).

I looked up some natural anxiety reduction techniques and have had some help (like removed caffeine, started these diaphragmatic breathing exercises, etc), but it is still so bad and I’m constantly afraid I’m going to lose my job. I really dislike the typical anti anxiety stuff they give me, like Xanax or Valium or whatnot, bc even .5 mg just puts be right to sleep. Are there other medicines I can ask the doctor about? There is this constant gnawing in my stomach, even if I’m not actively worried about anything. It’s like my body constantly thinks I’m in danger, even if I’m just sitting on my couch doing a crossword.

to PC and the bipolar forum

[Moose72]

Picking up repackaged meds since pdoc changed the doses and I can't figure out how to add things up with the bottles and the blister packs.

Dont know when ill talk to. Y "buddy" again. Ill just leave him. He was pretty broken up and trying not to show it.

Just catching up on 6 pages here(!) Just had no focus and jumbled thoughts, and was off forums for a few days. Hugs all around.

My life has been very intense since Sunday's incident. I have a T appt. today. Probably a good thing, because in terms of sheer magnitude and quantity of issues, it's been the most intensive since starting seeing this T. I'm kind of at a loss what to say about it (here) without going into the whole thing, which would makes your heads spin. I think that crossroads is an appropriate word to the situation.

Yeah, let's just leave it at that for now. Should be an interesting session.

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Just catching up on 6 pages here(!) Just had no focus and jumbled thoughts, and was off forums for a few days. Hugs all around.

My life has been very intense since Sunday's incident. I have a T appt. today. Probably a good thing, because in terms of sheer magnitude and quantity of issues, it's been the most intensive since starting seeing this T. I'm kind of at a loss what to say about it (here) without going into the whole thing, which would makes your heads spin. I think that crossroads is an appropriate word to the situation.

Yeah, let's just leave it at that for now. Should be an interesting session.

I hope things get sorted for you quickly and easily.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Just catching up on 6 pages here(!) Just had no focus and jumbled thoughts, and was off forums for a few days. Hugs all around.

My life has been very intense since Sunday's incident. I have a T appt. today. Probably a good thing, because in terms of sheer magnitude and quantity of issues, it's been the most intensive since starting seeing this T. I'm kind of at a loss what to say about it (here) without going into the whole thing, which would makes your heads spin. I think that crossroads is an appropriate word to the situation.

Yeah, let's just leave it at that for now. Should be an interesting session.

Thinking of you!
'
WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

You are a true warrior! Never giving up or giving in. You truly deserve a break and you are in my thoughts and prayers. If I could, I would donate my good days to you for awhile so you could get that break.

This is so sweet!
I'd enjoy the break!
I have hope that my new pdoc will get my meds sorted out so I will be having better days/nights.
Thank you!
With Love and Appreciation,
WC

[Unrigged64072835]

Hi all. Have been busy with stuff so haven't been about.

Daughter failed her driving retest on Wednesday. Scheduled again for next Wednesday. I think her perfectionism and emotional reactivity is causing some serious issues, so will talk to her about it on Saturday. I'm afraid my husband will read the riot act to her because he's tired of driving her to work.

Been doing a lot of reading and studying. It's helping me with my attitude. I'm still having the catastrophic thinking, but countering it now.

Did laundry today. Will do vacuuming and sweeping tomorrow so I don't have to do housework on my birthday this Sunday. I hope we have some time to take photos in the morning, because my husband will be driving my daughter to work that afternoon. We're going to PF Chang's for dinner. Can't do much else at the moment unless we reconfigure our budget for next month.

I would work out but my stomach is rumbling with hunger pangs and I just ate lunch and had fruit. Hopefully it'll settle down so I can lift some weights.

Love and hugs to everyone.

it feels like a proper winter's evening tonight

I like..

Between yesterday and today I have spent about 6 hours working on this elaborate cake to surprise my husband. I'm on the last steps, but this most recent step is a disaster. I'm sweating profusely and getting anxious and on the verge of tears. I rolled out the marzipan perfectly, but it keeps ripping be terribly when I try to lift it up to wrap the cake with it. I put the dough in the freezer to cool it off again, hoping to make it workable for a third chance. The more I work it, the poorer the quality the marzipan becomes. Hubby will be home in about an hour. I need some spiritual intervention.

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Between yesterday and today I have spent about 6 hours working on this elaborate cake to surprise my husband. I'm on the last steps, but this most recent step is a disaster. I'm sweating profusely and getting anxious and on the verge of tears. I rolled out the marzipan perfectly, but it keeps ripping be terribly when I try to lift it up to wrap the cake with it. I put the dough in the freezer to cool it off again, hoping to make it workable for a third chance. The more I work it, the poorer the quality the marzipan becomes. Hubby will be home in about an hour. I need some spiritual intervention.

I'm sprinkling flour on my baking shrine in hopes that the gods of the oven smile upon you.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by cln1812

I didn’t run this morning because I thought she might call. Anxiety is through the roof.

Could you lift weights on the days you can't run?

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Dont know when ill talk to. Y "buddy" again. Ill just leave him. He was pretty broken up and trying not to show it.

Is it possible that you triggered him?

I know you're hurting, but isn't your buddy worth taking a few knocks for?
Or is this more like the last straw?

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Is it possible that you triggered him?

I know you're hurting, but isn't your buddy worth taking a few knocks for?
Or is this more like the last straw?

It can't be the last straw. For one thing he texted me a few times after I was home.

[Blueberrybook]

Can't keep up here right now. Sorry for those of you hurting. Sorry, Moose.

Was supposed to be contacted by a social worker or advocate today via phone. Surpirse, surprise, never was.

ED thoughts are mad because I didn't exercise and ate Cheezeits. Think I ate too many of them as I feel sick to my stomach now. Or maybe that't anxiety. I hope I don't overdo tomorrow. It's been a few days since a super long run. Weight still about the same, probably because I'm so panicky, I have no freaking appetite!

Had to take the low dose Seroquel again today for a prolonged panic attack. I think I've had one of those nearly every day this week. It made me want to sleep, but I didn't thinking this social worker would call. Stupid me, I just should have listened to my body and taken a nap.

I see the pdoc again on Monday morning.

My life sucks so bad. I don't even know the point any more

[Scooter9]

Ugh I slept too long again today. No shower. Feel bad.

I'm getting a beer (yeah it doesn't help depression but might help my spirit)

[stahrgeyzer]

Trying my best not to have a meltdown..........don't know what to do

[pirilin]

Greetings!!!!

From the land of King Kameamea!
City of Honolulu. Waikiki beach. Island of Oahu.
Specific location: Hawaiian Hilton. Good Ocean view. La Bruja does not disappoint.

Like hurricane Lane did. What a flop.
site

A banana plantation wind, as we say.
I was at the pool, with La Bruja holding my drink outside, a blue something with vodka. Called Hawaii 5 O. Until they c!does @ 12AM.

The sad part is the tourists will go home and tell everybody they were in a hurricane.

Aloha my Ohana. Mahalo.