[golden09]

hi i am dealing with depression

[Wild Coyote]

Feeling very mixed today. Agitation. Lots of family stress. Kept a low profile all day, trying to limit stimuli.

Love to All!

WC

[liveforsummer]

Im alright and trying hard to do distracting and positive activities. Yet I truly don’t know what to think anymore. I seem to be playing a lot of mind games with myself.

[~Christina]

Just annoyed today

[Moose72]

Today is n3s firstday of school. Already hes lost something. But hes found it and he just went out the door in time to meet the bus!

Originally Posted by Moose72

Today is n3s firstday of school. Already hes lost something. But hes found it and he just went out the door in time to meet the bus!

Off topic, but I like your new avatar

[Moose72]

Feeling anxious even well after ativan.

Plus noah texted to say hes bored and can he come home. I daid youre supposed to be bored-its review!

Actually exercised for the first time in a loooong time.

Took a 40 min power walk. Not trying to lose weight, but to relax and get fresh air, as I've been holed up in my room not doing much.

The fresh air helped... a lot. Now I'm a lot hungrier than I was before, so now I'm going to be able to eat more food without getting nausea despite the stomach issue. yay!

[4psUche]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Maybe in an existential crisis, maybe just my depression. Who knows? Do I go in deeper to get out and find peace and resolve it, or do I just engage in activities until I am more present in the world, even though it feels counterintuitive and therefore stop the feeling? Anyone else been here? Hope I am not in to far to get out of it.

Quote I found that helps explain how I feel on this existential journey. Seems a bit dramatic, but felt it was a good description overall

"He enters into a labyrinth, he multiplies a thousandfold the dangers which life brings with it; not the least of which is that no one can see how and where he loses his way, becomes lonely, and is torn piecemeal by some Minotaur of conscience. Assuming such a person perishes, this happens so far from the comprehension of men that they neither feel it nor sympathize:—and he cannot go back any longer! nor can he go back to the pity of men! " Nietzsche

I'm reading Nietzsche's "Beyond Good and Evil" in Continental Philosophy right now. What a neat little bit of synchronicity I've found on the forums today. And I'm no doctor, so please take my word with a grain of salt, but I would lean towards introspection--or going deeper within oneself--without assuming it as a position (I know Nietzsche advises against this and lumps it in with slave morality, but I believe we need a mix of going deeper within ourselves and engaging in the world, and never one or the other to an extreme). For example, if I engage in worldly activities too much, I have become a person who takes all pleasure from worldly things (i.e drugs and alcohol, sex, media, etc.)--but, likewise, if I search only within myself, I've become withdrawn from the world and I've missed the insight of others or the use of worldly things that may be necessary for maintaining peace within myself. I have been here a few times myself, and it very well could be depression--but it might also be that you're just a budding philosopher (as those with philosophical minds tend to spend more time pondering over the world's idiosyncrasies).

[Blueberrybook]

My mind is on my CPS case. Hopefully, a therapist I found will call me back, and I can schedule an actual appt. for Sept. 18.

Even more fun. All my medical bills came in the mail today. Like I need to be reminded I have more stuff than the sucky CPS case to deal with.

I cannot, cannot get my mind off this CPS thing. I see the pdoc again tomorrow, don't know if he really can do that much about the stress & my not being able to concentrate on much else.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by 4psUche

I'm reading Nietzsche's "Beyond Good and Evil" in Continental Philosophy right now. What a neat little bit of synchronicity I've found on the forums today. And I'm no doctor, so please take my word with a grain of salt, but I would lean towards introspection--or going deeper within oneself--without assuming it as a position (I know Nietzsche advises against this and lumps it in with slave morality, but I believe we need a mix of going deeper within ourselves and engaging in the world, and never one or the other to an extreme). For example, if I engage in worldly activities too much, I have become a person who takes all pleasure from worldly things (i.e drugs and alcohol, sex, media, etc.)--but, likewise, if I search only within myself, I've become withdrawn from the world and I've missed the insight of others or the use of worldly things that may be necessary for maintaining peace within myself. I have been here a few times myself, and it very well could be depression--but it might also be that you're just a budding philosopher (as those with philosophical minds tend to spend more time pondering over the world's idiosyncrasies).

Yes, I think what you are saying is wise, and what I was leaning towards. That I must find that balance between introspection and remaining grounded and present in the world. I feel a little like I am losing my grip on reality, and a little like I am in the process of potential growth. I don't think I can make any more progress just spinning my wheels, overanalyzing alone in my apartment. Might try some meditation, reading, time in nature. I may check out that book you mentioned. I do have a tendency towards thinking about these types of things since I was pretty young, even when not depressed, so I think it could be how my mind works. Although my thoughts maybe a little darker due to depression right now. Thanks for the response.

[scatterbrained04]

Why does the world always feel like it moves so fast? Like it's always spinning out of control? I try to stay on top of things, but it always feels like there aren't enough hours in the day, and I just run out of steam. I even struggle to stay on top of bills (even if I have the money). I can't be the only one. Other people make this seem way too easier than it is...I'm a bit overwhelmed today.

[Cocosurviving]

Took my youngest daughter to school. Then had a few errands to run. Once I made it home I walked my dog and ate breakfast just a bowel of cereal. I was really sleepy I took a nap. Then my day got stressful thanks to my oldest daughter. I straightened it out. I agreed to help her with rent. I’m not stupid. I do not trust ANYONE. I transferred the money from my bank account to her account. I would never give anyone cash. I sent her an e-mail stating that the money was a loan to pay her rent and to be paid back.
The highlight of my day was when I picked up my younger daughter from school. She told me how much she really likes her new school. Her fav subject is still science! My baby A is going to be a scientist.

[Unrigged64072835]

Hello everyone...

Spending most of the past couple of days putting in recipes for this low-acid diet. Unfortunately it's also high cholesterol, high sodium, high carbs...sheesh. What health problem do I want to tackle now? I'm still losing weight though, so the high blood sugar will be going down soon. Makes me want to get hot dogs with all the fixings and a hot fudge sundae...oh I would so pay for that later.

Defrosted the big freezer and worked out. Saw the ENT doc; my salivary gland that was partially blocked is now clear. Quickest medical appointment I had. Will be seeing the optometrist tomorrow (and hopefully get glasses for the computer), the GP Thursday and T on Friday. Will see trauma T next week.

Still no word from the contractors on when they'll fix the house. C'mon guys...we may be disabled vets, but we have lives too.

My husband is back to feeling crappy on the MS med. Sucks.

I'm doing okay.

Love and hugs to everyone. I'm sorry for those of you having a hard time.

[Pookyl]

Feeling well.

[zijax]

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

Why does the world always feel like it moves so fast? Like it's always spinning out of control? I try to stay on top of things, but it always feels like there aren't enough hours in the day, and I just run out of steam. I even struggle to stay on top of bills (even if I have the money). I can't be the only one. Other people make this seem way too easier than it is...I'm a bit overwhelmed today.

I get that. I'm always worried about money, making sure everyone else gets what they want before me. That's people, bills, making lists, trying to stay on top of it all. My husband doesn't drive so I'm always driving and doing and today I caved. I went to the dept. store and had a make-over and bought lipstick, eyeliner, mascara, blush and perfume. I blew some bucks on just me without worrying about how to budget this and that. Sometimes I have to take a break, take care of my needs for once or I'll get angry over something else and blow up.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Pookyl

Feeling well.

Gotta love it!
I am glad you are doing well!

WC

[Moreta]

Man I'm gassy. Had my colonoscopy and endoscopy today. They didn't find anything so apparently my problems are just IBS. They took some biopsies so I'll hear back about them in a week or so. Had some anxiety today so laid low this afternoon and did some meditating and watched some motivational videos. I colored this tonight. Found it at the dollar tree. dollar tree always has some weird ****.



Some days you just have to lay low for a while.

[Blueberrybook]

Trying to find a therapist, trying to stay positive, trying to forget the whole CPS thing which is making concentrating on much of anything difficult.

I do see the pdoc tomorrow. I finally found a place to download the physician's statement of disability form for the state, though typical, I noticed they tell the staff to mail it to the address in Section I and no address is given in Section I or anywhere else on the form, for that matter. If the staff haven't had to work with this particular form before, I am going to have to tell them to call the state department. And it's not like there's one easy, broad number to find out there for this department. There are tons of telephone numbers on the state's website. The staff there will do it though. They are very good, and I am sure they have dealt with similar, if not this very, thing.

[Pookyl]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Gotta love it!
I am glad you are doing well!

WC

Saw my psychiatrist who said “you look well”. She then ruined the moment by reminding me “this is the first time in 4 years I’ve seen you well. So take it easy”.
Lol. Oh well. I’ll take wellness while I have it.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by cln1812

Trying to find a therapist, trying to stay positive, trying to forget the whole CPS thing which is making concentrating on much of anything difficult.

I do see the pdoc tomorrow. I finally found a place to download the physician's statement of disability form for the state, though typical, I noticed they tell the staff to mail it to the address in Section I and no address is given in Section I or anywhere else on the form, for that matter. If the staff haven't had to work with this particular form before, I am going to have to tell them to call the state department. And it's not like there's one easy, broad number to find out there for this department. There are tons of telephone numbers on the state's website. The staff there will do it though. They are very good, and I am sure they have dealt with similar, if not this very, thing.

You may want a copy of the completed form for your records and for verification of disability should it come up for anything.

Good job despite all of the stress!

WC

[wildflowerchild25]

No news from my potential job today. I don’t know if no news means good news or bad news. I’m searching on indeed for other jobs just in case this one falls through but I’ll probably end up going to a temp agency because I have no administrative experience. I’ll be back where I started in May. Depressing to think about. Especially because I was looking forward to having some structure in my life again.

My back is starting to hurt again. The injections may not be working. That would be sad. My dr said we could repeat the injections if necessary but I don’t know if it would be worth it. I’m not in enough pain to consider surgery yet. I’d have to be bent over crippled to consider surgery. I’m terrified of surgery. I wouldn’t get a c section in my 23rd hour of labor because I’m terrified of surgery.

Sigh. Hopefully I hear something either way from my job tomorrow. I just want to KNOW so I can move forward.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

You may want a copy of the completed form for your records and for verification of disability should it come up for anything.

Good job despite all of the stress!

WC

Yes, I am going to ask the doctor to request it to the staff and tell the staff as well. I don't want my one form getting sent off and then lost. I should hope the staff would make a copy for their medical records too.

I also want it because it may help me out with some organizations, churches and things to have a proof of disability even if it's a copy and unofficial.

[~Christina]

Leaving for Florida Thursday... I always get a bit off when we go , disrupted normal routine ya know.

Seeing my T tomorrow, thankfully

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

No news from my potential job today. I don’t know if no news means good news or bad news. I’m searching on indeed for other jobs just in case this one falls through but I’ll probably end up going to a temp agency because I have no administrative experience. I’ll be back where I started in May. Depressing to think about. Especially because I was looking forward to having some structure in my life again.

My back is starting to hurt again. The injections may not be working. That would be sad. My dr said we could repeat the injections if necessary but I don’t know if it would be worth it. I’m not in enough pain to consider surgery yet. I’d have to be bent over crippled to consider surgery. I’m terrified of surgery. I wouldn’t get a c section in my 23rd hour of labor because I’m terrified of surgery.

Sigh. Hopefully I hear something either way from my job tomorrow. I just want to KNOW so I can move forward.

Sorry about your back pain. My husband got to the point too where injections weren't helping. (He'd had a previous back surgery as a teenager from playing ice hockey. Then, his surgeon operated on him, went skiing over Christmas and never once told his parents they should then get him into physical therapy.) So he's had back issues awhile. It got to be so bad, he couldn't hold our daughter, and she was a toddler, 18 months or so. Then, it got really bad, so bad he was crying and sobbing with the pain. Finally, he just had to go have surgery done. There's only so much a person can take.

I hope things get better for you