[Blueberrybook]

I spent all afternoon on the phone trying to seek some financial assistance. Basically from 12:15 to 3:30 I was on the phone with various agencies, asking for help for the mortgage or anything. We usually end up $1000 short for the month, and our bank accounts are drained ($200 left).

I was transferred and transferred, given different numbers to call. No help anywhere I was just told we need to budget better. Yes, we do, but it's so hard with hypomania, and it's not like my hypo buys are wildly out of control (maybe an extra $200/month but not nearly as bad as the past). We rarely eat out; if we do, it's usually McDonalds or Subway unless we have a gift card from someone. Expenses come from things like vet bills, flea medication, cat food/litter, medications, doctors appointments, utilities, electricity, cell phones, internet. Plus, I'd have to be creative every meal with cooking, looking up low cost recipes for ingredients I have. I am a horrible cook too, so that really doesn't help. And things are expensive, like trash bags, dishwashing tablets (have to use the tablets as it is a newer dishwasher and can't take cheaper options. I already buy nearly everything store brand except cat food (they don't have food the cat's like) and Coke for my husband.

I mean, we can cut things here and there: my daughter's allowance, a couple of books I pre-ordered for my daughter off Amazon for series she loves to read (Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Dork Diaries, and Whatever After), but it's not a lot. We are members of Amazon Prime, but we already paid that membership a few months ago. We changed internet providers to get a cheaper rate. We changed to VoIP telephone to cut the home phone bill. We changed our cell phones (refurbished and outdated) to Ting to save money. We got rid of lawn service, but then my husband had to spend $300 to buy lawn care tools. We've had 2 super expensive AC repairs. I had to get my car alternator replaced. Groceries are expensive. I don't think the cuts we can make will add up to $1000, and the mortgage is $900. I have to pay $65 to the hospital monthly, $60 to the trauma surgeons, $25 to the EMS. It will take 9 years to pay off the hospital at this rate.

I have pdoc appointments and a ton of meds. My husband has meds. We have dental checkups coming up next month, and I think the dentist is going to have to extract a loose tooth my daughter has had close to 1 year (the adult canine is growing behind it). Our refrigerator sounds like it might go any second. I actually need 5 dental crowns from tooth grinding, some past crowns I have ground all the way down, and we can't afford it. I do have a dental nightguard, but I can only sleep with it in about half the time; other times it bothers me, and I take it out barely awake or even while asleep as I have no memory of taking it out in the morning.

My meds give me side effects. My M.S. overqualifies me for less stressful jobs. Both the pdoc and my PCP think I shouldn't work though I think I am going to try substitute teaching for a little extra money. It still won't bring in enough though, and I'd have to ensure my daughter could catch the school bus on time in the morning by herself (she's 10 but that might be iffy). I'm not sure she would be able to get herself out there in time to catch the bus.

My husband's school district pays more than my daughter's to sub, and is much larger, but they start earlier. My daughter's district decided to change elementary school from a 7:40 start to 8 AM and dismissal from 3:15 to 3:45 and start high school super early. My husband's school district did not make these changes, but they have many schools, some farther to commute to than others and run on nearly the same time schedule my daughter's school used to run.

Even given that, I don't know if I could handle being a sub. I can get school custodial work, but besides interrupting our schedules greatly, it would have my husband working all day, to come home and have to make dinner & care for my daughter while I'm gone 2:30 to up to midnight, depending on the school. It would wear my husband to the bone. He already is the designated ESL Physics teacher (mostly first language Spanish speaking students), and he doesn't speak Spanish at all. And practically all the kids in his school are disadvantaged, at risk, and had bad trauma from Hurricane Harvey last year.

I have a pounding headache. I am so depressed there is no help out there for people like us. I just want to cry

[bizi]

Do you belong to a church? I have heard of them helping out members.
Your daughter can read books from the library.. do you really need amazon prime?I think you could negotiate your medical bills lower than that under your specific shortages in cash. As long as you pay them something then it should not effect your credit rating.
How have you been making out until now?
I am sorry it is so hard right now.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

[Blueberrybook]

Amazon prime is already paid for (it was an annual membership when we thought my husband was going to get the visiting professor job). We already do a lot of book checking from the library, but my daughter has read through each of these series 4 or 5 times, she enjoys them so much, and the library queue is huge for them, especially as she wants to read them in order. Then we have clothes my daughter outgrows and because of her sensory issues only wears dresses, and they have to be comfortable on her, otherwise, she is very upset, whiny, and fidgety all day. St. Vincent de Paul doesn’t have much in the selection of simple girls dresses in her size. She outgrew her rain boots, so I had to drop $10 on a pair at Walmart today. She crosses a field after school to get to my car after school, and when it rains, the field is mucky, and she only has 1 pair of shoes for school (have to be closed toe). I asked a local church for help, no go. I might try a couple more. I had to buy a bra as one broke, and I only have 2. When I need clothes, I get them at Goodwill other than bras and panties, but the children’s selection there is poor.

[unaluna]

I googled your city and state and "job postings" - its not bad, there are fast food, hospitality, supermarket stocking, and office jobs. A temp agency might be able to find you something pretty quickly even. I assume with your educational background you are fairly proficient on the computer. Ive done temp work between jobs, sometimes all they want is for you to transcribe meeting minutes from a tape, anybody can do that.

[marvin_pa]

I wish I had more in the way of practical suggestions. Does your library support ebooks? The availability/waits on electronic lends are usually way better than for physical media.

If you have any spare rooms, consider renting them out - varies by location & it's potentially disruptive to an established family home setup, but it can bring in some very helpful money.

[Blueberrybook]

I can try a temp agency. The problem with other places are that the hours are not fixed or would have me working overnight, putting a huge burden on my husband. And the stupid M.S. degree I have eliminates me from virtually every low stress job out there since you have to apply online for nearly every job nowadays. I get weeded out before I even get a chance.

Actually, I don't have proficient computer skills any more. I got my M.S. in 2004. I have not used any of Microsoft Suite except Word since then. I have totally forgotten how to use Excel. I can type 50-60 wpm. I have to look at the temp agency ratings. Some are better than others; I've heard one around here is awful.

There are a lot of jobs in Houston, but I can't drive there. Not only is the commute God awful both ways (back to back traffic) and making it to the Metro van carpool (which runs around $30/month) on time is very stressful. There are no easy bus routes near my house into Houston. Public transportation here sucks. The whole driving on freeways with no easy offs especially while stuck in rush-hour traffic makes me anxious. I get a lot of panic attacks driving into Houston proper on the freeways (taking the feeder roads could easily turn the commute into 2 hr. at rush hour,; there is always construction & detours to deal with along with confusing one-way roads (made even worse by popup construction). There are just a few Houston addresses I drive to that really tend to be closer to other cities than downtown Houston. There is a town called Baytown nearby, but driving there is the same deal; it is not straightforward and makes me anxious & panicky (lots of big rig trucks on the freeways that way too) and has caused me to have panic attacks while driving, which I hate. And what would I do with having to see the pdoc all the time?

I also need a low-stress job nearby that would make it possible to get my daughter to school on time (can't trust that she could catch the bus herself). Otherwise, there would be childcare costs. The earliest parents can drop kids off at her school is 7:15, which adds some limitations. My husband cannot drop her off because his high school starts at 6:50 AM, and he needs anywhere from 20-30 minutes to drive there, depending on how he hits the traffic lights.

[Wild Coyote]

I am sorry it is so rough.


WC

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I am sorry it is so rough.


WC

Thanks. It's just hard. If my husband & I separated or divorced, then I think I could get disability. That's just messed up.

[yellow_fleurs]

This sounds like a really tough and stressful situation. I am sorry I wonder if you could look at jobs that allow online/remote work, maybe even one of the teach English online sites. I was looking into them when trying to find something temp, and seems like you can make okay money and have a flexible, from home schedule. Maybe you could do a crowdsourcing funding campaign and see if friends and family can pool some money together just to help you for the time being?

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by cln1812

Thanks. It's just hard. If my husband & I separated or divorced, then I think I could get disability. That's just messed up.

I also feel guilty because I cannot work. My medical costs, which are huge each year, would be approx. 100% covered if we were divorced. Instead, we pay very high premiums each month and have a huge annual deductible.

We have limited income as well.

Thinking of you.


WC

[Blueberrybook]

Ugh, temp agencies in the area have very low ratings. I'd probably also stand a high chance to have to temp in Houston. I'll look around more tomorrow. I'm done for the day.

[Polibeth]

If you feel the M.S. degree is hindering your job prospects the simple solution is to just not list it. I have the exact same degree and I almost never tell anyone (though I'm on disability now). It's not like a potential employer can look up your degree(s) unless you let them know about it.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bizi

Do you belong to a church? I have heard of them helping out members.
Your daughter can read books from the library.. do you really need amazon prime?I think you could negotiate your medical bills lower than that under your specific shortages in cash. As long as you pay them something then it should not effect your credit rating.
How have you been making out until now?
I am sorry it is so hard right now.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

RE: Medical bills. Our local university hospital used to agree to low payments. They now demand higher payments or send bills to collection. There is little room for negotiation. more and more hospitals are doing this.

People can apply for the hospital's financial aid program, but if they make too much to qualify, there is no negotiation, you make huge payments or the bills go to collections here now.

cln may run into the same in Texas.

@cln, Apply for the hospital's financial aid if you haven't done so. Forgive me if you have done so.


WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Polibeth

If you feel the M.S. degree is hindering your job prospects the simple solution is to just not list it. I have the exact same degree and I almost never tell anyone (though I'm on disability now). It's not like a potential employer can look up your degree(s) unless you let them know about it.

I was about to suggest this, too.
I think it's a good idea if your degree is stopping you from getting a job.


WC

[Wild Coyote]

I am deeply concerned as to whether or not you are well enough to work.
Are you well enough to work?


WC

[BeyondtheRainbow]

1) Swagbucks is a way to learn at least a little money. Swagbucks - Free Gift Cards for Paid Surveys and More
I've been doing it since I went on disability 6 years ago and if I am motivated I earn about $50 per month and other people earn much more. I've been lazy with it lately because finances are less desperate now but in the past it made a difference. You do things like surveys, watching ads, ordering things you'd normally order online through their portal, complete activities etc and are awarded swagbucks for each. You then cash them out for gift cards or Paypal. It's not a job but it might help a little

I'm not profittig from recommending this, just wanted to share.

2)My brother has always had a hard time with keeping jobs until he got into food delivery. Not pizza as that doesn't have good tips but instead a place that delivered from a variety of restaurants around the city and later a popular restaurant near a university campus. He's been really happy with both jobs and they are not very stressful.

I hope you find a way through this. I remember how scary it was when I realized I had no income while waiting on SSDI . Are you eligible for some food stamps? I know teachers here on one income qualified at one point if not now. Could your daughter get free lunch at school? Would a food bank help a bit?

[unaluna]

I would say, what do you care what the ratings are? You need to get some work experience on your resume, and some money contributed to the household finances. Why does midnight shift grocery stocking negatively affect your husband? And i saw several ads for your actual home city - why are you talking about Houston?

I have had my back up against the wall, and yes i cleaned toilets - only once a week while i did nails; i cleaned the beauty shop on the days we were closed. This was after being a computer programming professional for 30 years. I have to say, both were fulfilling jobs.

The temp agencies are also good for doing product demonstrations at grocery stores and shopping centers.

I havent dont the online jobs, but Women's World magazine every week has half a page on how to find different kinds of online jobs, you could check the library for those.

Good luck!

[Victoria'smom]

We're on a tight budget and use Every dollar to set our budget. You want to call HUD and get on their housing list and section 8 list. You may not qualify for it now but when you get to the top you may. Is there the option of selling your home and making enough to rent an apartment? If you can take everything you have and garage sale. If you can't pawn what you can for now. I'm sorry I can't help more helpful.

We're talking divorce for financial reasons it's not a fun discussion.

[~Christina]

I know your stressed .....it sucks

Typically you won’t lose your house for being late on “ a “ payment , foreclosure takes time.

Whether you can cook or not doesn’t matter , throw chicken in the oven and cook some rice or pasta open a can of corn ... etc , take out no matter how small adds up.

For a job ??? You do not have to list your MS , work history for a job of any kind “ why haven’t you worked for a long time ? “ I have been a stay at home mom “ the end , your husband I assume would rather you take a job to bring in money. So what if it’s tough on him at night with your ( his daughter too ) daughter. Money is money and unfortunately it’s a necessary evil. Your income could cover food costs each month.

Everyone has to sacrifice, gawd knows I do. Yes it sucksssssssssss.! But one does what needs done.

I’m just being honest I know your struggling.

Ps .. picky cats will eat cheaper food when hungry, they will survive.

[Tucson]

Go to a credit counselor who can negotiate your mortgage loan payment down. Banks are willing to do this rather than having to sell the house. They will still eventually get their money. Maybe reduce the interest part of the payment.

Here is an extreme thought. I probably would not do it in your position. You and your husband can get a divorce only for the purpose for you to get on disability. Maybe this would also help you get on Medicaid? Not in Arizona. When you are in better financial shape, get remarried again. Heck, if you can afford it by then, go on a second honeymoon. Why not? Just a thought.

It looks like you are doing everything you can to cut costs. I do not think you should give up the Internet, which is part of your support network. Also it is there for your daughter too. Matter of fact, the Internet can provide allot for your daughter to read, and also for her learn about the world around her.

I understand about the teeth grinding. I have shattered two teeth, and damaged two crowns. This comes to probably over $5000 of work. I simply cannot afford this. I do not have any dental appliance for this teeth grinding either. One thought is to go to Mexico to get my teeth repaired.

[Moreta]

Do you shop at Aldi? Groceries are super cheap there. I do a lot of shopping there. When running low on cash I live on chicken drumsticks I get from there. They're not hard to cook either. Just put some olive oil on them and spices/herbs, put them on a sheet pan that has been sprayed with cooking spray, oven on 400F and cook for 35-40 mins. A big bag of potatoes is cheap there so if you start the oven, put the potatoes in to bake, then put the chicken in 30 mins later, it's a pretty easy meal to make. I've gotten super lazy with cooking. There's also this site that has a lot of really cheap meals to make and using this site is how I actually learned how to cook. Budget Bytes - Delicious Recipes Designed for Small Budgets

I also buy food at surplus stores. The packages might be messed up but it's cheap. You can find some interesting items at surplus stores. Dollar stores also have food.

Do you have a catholic charities in your city? I worked there and sometimes they help out and they usually have food pantries. Food pantries could actually be a big help to you. Most cities usually have multiple ones. Most though you can only go once a month but they give you a lot of food.

Do you have a used bookstore in town? When I want to buy a book I go there. My last haul I got 5 books for $17 and the books are normally $8 something a piece.

[Blueberrybook]

Sometimes I use Aldi. I haven’t in awhile. I mostly use Super-Walmart for groceries or specials of things we eat at HEB. I could try Aldi again. Though my husband and daughter do not like potatoes other than French fries. I will look at that cooking site. I have a lot of foods around, but I am sure about half are expired. I was going to go through, get rid of expired food and try to go from there for meals, but my morning was horrid. I am so panicky, I am on the verge of a panic attack right now

[Victoria'smom]

We can't shop at wal-mart for food. It's to expensive. We shop at aldi's and save a lot. If you can garden's are a wonderful things.