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  #526  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 07:54 AM
Anonymous35014
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Woke up feeling pretty good today. Pretty hyper. Not sure why. I did get about 12 hours of sleep, though. lol. Now I have too much energy from all this hibernation going on.

I keep buying plush (stuffed animals) of different sorts. I have 42 of them now, I think. I've started collecting them since February, so this is a fast growing habit. lol. Now I have another 6 coming in the mail, but they're from China on eBay and will get here between Oct 25th and Nov 5th. Not bad for some knockoffs coming from China. $13 apiece ish, except for one that was $20. Better than the $22.99 apiece I paid for about 38 of my existing ones...

I need to STOP buying these things. It's become an addiction! Help! And no returns because these are from China and they say no returns. (I'm guessing they're made *to order* at some factory and they've probably already started the stitching process.) And the others are too late to return. Not going to sell them, either. I'm stubborn.
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  #527  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 08:24 AM
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feel like today's been mainly wasted.

I ate junkfood and watched " hotel for dogs", which is the extent of my motivation today
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  #528  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 08:36 AM
Anonymous41462
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I only got two hours of sleep last night, at 9:00pm. I've been up since 11:00pm last night. I even organized my underwear drawer i was so bored. I called in for an urgent appointment to my doctor's practice but he's not on today and they wouldn't give me an appointment with his colleague. They said my doctor knows me and should be the one to adjust meds. They gave me an appointment on Monday at 9:00am.


I'm having trouble talking i am so sleep-deprived. I'm sure it is because he prescribed the extended release type. I had trouble with the extended release Seroquel too, but i'm fine on the standard. I just want to go on the standard Wellbutrin at 75mg. I think i can't take the extended release types because i'm so inactive and have a slow metabolism. They don't clear my system in time.

There's so much i want to get done but i don't trust myself to go out in public in this rundown state. I worry that i will get cranky and make a scene. Feeling very unwell and beginning to be sorry that i tried Wellbutrin. At least two more nights of this. Ack!
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  #529  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 09:20 AM
MJLouise MJLouise is offline
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It’s day 3 on Wellbutrin and my thoughts are more clear and organized but I’m still really super depressed. My chest is heavy and I have to try to make myself seem happy or at least neutral for my kids sake. I told them I’m not feeling well and think I caught a bug. This has basically how I have been handling really hard days for the last 6 months. I made it down to the couch so I can supervise and am letting them have frozen pizza and kimchi noodles for lunch and dinner today (I’m in Germany so we’re 6hrs ahead of the east coast USA). The doctor said after a few days I could go up to 300 mg by taking two pills in the morning but I’m hesitant. Even though it’s working a little I’m not sure more will be better am I’m going to be starting lithium next week and I want to be on the lowest effective dose of both so I don’t end up over medicated. Last time I was on this combo in 2002 it worked great and my final effective dosing was 600 mg (300 twice a day) lithium and 150mg Wellbutrin. My kids bring teens is a blessing I was stable on lamotragine when they were little and only mildly hypomanic in hindsite and mild depressed over the last 5 years off meds. Thank goodness this severe depression is now and not a few years ago when they still needed me to do a lot for them. As teens they can cook the frozen pizzas, do their laundry, get ready for school do their homework and are very self sufficient. So as sick as I feel it could be worse. I can rest on the couch all day while praising my kids and encouraging but not overdoing it myself to the point I break down. My depressions coming in wave like anxiety I get but depression and feelings of dread.
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  #530  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 10:11 AM
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N3 skipped his piano repetoir class this morning. He says hes not ready because he hasnt practiced. So here I am at home not having gone to judo. And tonight is the first play performance. Where we'll park I dunno.
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  #531  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 10:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whatever2013 View Post
I only got two hours of sleep last night, at 9:00pm. I've been up since 11:00pm last night. I even organized my underwear drawer i was so bored. I called in for an urgent appointment to my doctor's practice but he's not on today and they wouldn't give me an appointment with his colleague. They said my doctor knows me and should be the one to adjust meds. They gave me an appointment on Monday at 9:00am.


I'm having trouble talking i am so sleep-deprived. I'm sure it is because he prescribed the extended release type. I had trouble with the extended release Seroquel too, but i'm fine on the standard. I just want to go on the standard Wellbutrin at 75mg. I think i can't take the extended release types because i'm so inactive and have a slow metabolism. They don't clear my system in time.

There's so much i want to get done but i don't trust myself to go out in public in this rundown state. I worry that i will get cranky and make a scene. Feeling very unwell and beginning to be sorry that i tried Wellbutrin. At least two more nights of this. Ack!

Do you think you might benefit from stopping the Wellbutrin until you see your pdoc?

Concerned about you.


WC
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  #532  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 10:52 AM
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Originally Posted by MJLouise View Post
It’s day 3 on Wellbutrin and my thoughts are more clear and organized but I’m still really super depressed. My chest is heavy and I have to try to make myself seem happy or at least neutral for my kids sake. I told them I’m not feeling well and think I caught a bug. This has basically how I have been handling really hard days for the last 6 months. I made it down to the couch so I can supervise and am letting them have frozen pizza and kimchi noodles for lunch and dinner today (I’m in Germany so we’re 6hrs ahead of the east coast USA). The doctor said after a few days I could go up to 300 mg by taking two pills in the morning but I’m hesitant. Even though it’s working a little I’m not sure more will be better am I’m going to be starting lithium next week and I want to be on the lowest effective dose of both so I don’t end up over medicated. Last time I was on this combo in 2002 it worked great and my final effective dosing was 600 mg (300 twice a day) lithium and 150mg Wellbutrin. My kids bring teens is a blessing I was stable on lamotragine when they were little and only mildly hypomanic in hindsite and mild depressed over the last 5 years off meds. Thank goodness this severe depression is now and not a few years ago when they still needed me to do a lot for them. As teens they can cook the frozen pizzas, do their laundry, get ready for school do their homework and are very self sufficient. So as sick as I feel it could be worse. I can rest on the couch all day while praising my kids and encouraging but not overdoing it myself to the point I break down. My depressions coming in wave like anxiety I get but depression and feelings of dread.
Great idea to supervise from the couch. I have utmost respect for parents doing their best to be there for their children. It's a nice balance that you also give your children responsibilities.

I hope the Wellbutrin helps!


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  #533  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 10:59 AM
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Re: Wellbutrin: I had horrible insomnia when I first went on it but it eventually cleared up.
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  #534  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 11:30 AM
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My mother was moved to hospice care this week so I'm taking my family to see her this afternoon. It's a tight schedule because my wife is teaching a class at the art center, my younger son is helping make breakfast for the girls here for a volleyball tournament, and my older son has to be back by 7pm for the opening at the art gallery. I'm worried about my mother and stressed about the timing. Yet I almost feel like not going because when I rang her to say that I would be there today she thought I was my brother, so if I weren't to show up it'd be on him ... except that I don't know how much longer she'll be with us and I want my boys to see her again. The statistics surrounding longevity in hospice suggest less than 20 days. I don't know that she'll make it to Thanksgiving, which is likely the next opportunity my boys will have to see her given their academic and extracurricular demands.
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  #535  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 11:57 AM
Anonymous41462
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Originally Posted by Moose72 View Post
Re: Wellbutrin: I had horrible insomnia when I first went on it but it eventually cleared up.

Thanks, Moose72, that's good to know.
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  #536  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 11:59 AM
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Originally Posted by Daonnachd View Post
My mother was moved to hospice care this week so I'm taking my family to see her this afternoon. It's a tight schedule because my wife is teaching a class at the art center, my younger son is helping make breakfast for the girls here for a volleyball tournament, and my older son has to be back by 7pm for the opening at the art gallery. I'm worried about my mother and stressed about the timing. Yet I almost feel like not going because when I rang her to say that I would be there today she thought I was my brother, so if I weren't to show up it'd be on him ... except that I don't know how much longer she'll be with us and I want my boys to see her again. The statistics surrounding longevity in hospice suggest less than 20 days. I don't know that she'll make it to Thanksgiving, which is likely the next opportunity my boys will have to see her given their academic and extracurricular demands.
Thinking of you and your family during this difficult time.
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  #537  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 12:00 PM
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downandlonely downandlonely is offline
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Originally Posted by Daonnachd View Post
My mother was moved to hospice care this week so I'm taking my family to see her this afternoon. It's a tight schedule because my wife is teaching a class at the art center, my younger son is helping make breakfast for the girls here for a volleyball tournament, and my older son has to be back by 7pm for the opening at the art gallery. I'm worried about my mother and stressed about the timing. Yet I almost feel like not going because when I rang her to say that I would be there today she thought I was my brother, so if I weren't to show up it'd be on him ... except that I don't know how much longer she'll be with us and I want my boys to see her again. The statistics surrounding longevity in hospice suggest less than 20 days. I don't know that she'll make it to Thanksgiving, which is likely the next opportunity my boys will have to see her given their academic and extracurricular demands.
Sorry about your mom. I think it would be good for you to take your kids to see her especially since you don't know how long she has left.
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  #538  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 12:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Daonnachd View Post
My mother was moved to hospice care this week so I'm taking my family to see her this afternoon. It's a tight schedule because my wife is teaching a class at the art center, my younger son is helping make breakfast for the girls here for a volleyball tournament, and my older son has to be back by 7pm for the opening at the art gallery. I'm worried about my mother and stressed about the timing. Yet I almost feel like not going because when I rang her to say that I would be there today she thought I was my brother, so if I weren't to show up it'd be on him ... except that I don't know how much longer she'll be with us and I want my boys to see her again. The statistics surrounding longevity in hospice suggest less than 20 days. I don't know that she'll make it to Thanksgiving, which is likely the next opportunity my boys will have to see her given their academic and extracurricular demands.
You are in my thoughts, Daonnachd.
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  #539  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 12:07 PM
Anonymous41462
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Originally Posted by Wild Coyote View Post
Do you think you might benefit from stopping the Wellbutrin until you see your pdoc?

Concerned about you.


WC

Thanks for the support and concern, Wild_Coyote. I thought of stopping it but it's just two days and there would probably be risks with stopping it suddenly too. It's been a few hours since my last post and i've been relaxing at home with my dog and feel some better. Actually i feel remarkably well for someone who has had three hours sleep in the last two days. I think as long as i keep to myself this weekend and take it easy i will be okay. What a crazy thing tho: i go from chronic oversleeping to acute under-sleeping!
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  #540  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 12:10 PM
Anonymous35014
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Originally Posted by Daonnachd View Post
My mother was moved to hospice care this week so I'm taking my family to see her this afternoon. It's a tight schedule because my wife is teaching a class at the art center, my younger son is helping make breakfast for the girls here for a volleyball tournament, and my older son has to be back by 7pm for the opening at the art gallery. I'm worried about my mother and stressed about the timing. Yet I almost feel like not going because when I rang her to say that I would be there today she thought I was my brother, so if I weren't to show up it'd be on him ... except that I don't know how much longer she'll be with us and I want my boys to see her again. The statistics surrounding longevity in hospice suggest less than 20 days. I don't know that she'll make it to Thanksgiving, which is likely the next opportunity my boys will have to see her given their academic and extracurricular demands.
Sorry to hear that. My grandma was the same, although she had dementia. Not sure what your mom has, but you don't need to share if you don't want to. Just saying that my grandma had it.

She confused my whole family with different people. It was really hard to see. I didn't go to hospice to see her often because it broke my heart.

Please don't feel guilty if you don't want to go. If it'll hurt you more to go than it'll hurt you to stay, then that's something to consider. But I understand that people in hospice do want comfort even if they don't know you anymore, which is why it's always so stressful to stay or go. But someone in my family (my dad, sister, or mom) almost always went to see my grandma in hospice to give her comfort. So I didn't feel so guilty or stressed since we all took turns, even if I didn't go as often as they did. Taking turns really helped everyone cope with the stress.

You also don't have to stay very long if you don't want to. We would keep it to 20 mins or an hour to reduce stress. She got enough comfort even if it was only 20 mins. She enjoyed the presence of visitors even if she didn't know who we were or if she mixed us up. She just needed someone from outside hospice to let her know she wasn't alone. She didn't particularly care who it was, honestly.

Your mom might be different, but I just thought I'd share that with you. You can always have your kids go without you if you're too upset. Or ask your brother to go.

Edit: one more thing... Sometimes people get overwhelmed when too many people visit them at once. Not everyone is that way, but that's another thing you can consider if you want to take turns.
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  #541  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 12:51 PM
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Originally Posted by bluebicycle View Post
Sorry to hear that. My grandma was the same, although she had dementia. Not sure what your mom has, but you don't need to share if you don't want to. Just saying that my grandma had it.

She confused my whole family with different people. It was really hard to see. I didn't go to hospice to see her often because it broke my heart.

Please don't feel guilty if you don't want to go. If it'll hurt you more to go than it'll hurt you to stay, then that's something to consider. But I understand that people in hospice do want comfort even if they don't know you anymore, which is why it's always so stressful to stay or go. But someone in my family (my dad, sister, or mom) almost always went to see my grandma in hospice to give her comfort. So I didn't feel so guilty or stressed since we all took turns, even if I didn't go as often as they did. Taking turns really helped everyone cope with the stress.

You also don't have to stay very long if you don't want to. We would keep it to 20 mins or an hour to reduce stress. She got enough comfort even if it was only 20 mins. She enjoyed the presence of visitors even if she didn't know who we were or if she mixed us up. She just needed someone from outside hospice to let her know she wasn't alone. She didn't particularly care who it was, honestly.

Your mom might be different, but I just thought I'd share that with you. You can always have your kids go without you if you're too upset. Or ask your brother to go.

Edit: one more thing... Sometimes people get overwhelmed when too many people visit them at once. Not everyone is that way, but that's another thing you can consider if you want to take turns.
Well, she hasn't been diagnosed with dementia, but she never seems to know me. This doesn't seem to be the case with my three older siblings. It's like she's forgotten she had me. Naethelees, that's something I can cope with on my own terms.


You bring up good points. The value of a visit, even if short. The option of staggering the visits to reduce stress on her.


Actually, with the lung cancer and poor oxygen capacity conversations become coughing sessions so that will limit our time with her today.

I guess I just have to let it be what it will be.
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  #542  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 01:01 PM
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My thoughts are with you. If you can make a trip even though she might remember fully but you would be a change and might bring her great peace. Be kind to your self during such a hard time
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  #543  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 01:06 PM
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*Laurie*, I'll be within 100 miles of you, so watch for me to wave.
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  #544  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 01:17 PM
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I am so stressed and overwhelmed today. I’m caring for two family members in poor health and trying to keep a household running while dealing with this mental illness and a non functioning right hand. That’s small potatoes to some of the situations I’ve seen on here, I know. I wish I could be less uptight and stressed. I’m getting short tempered and resentful.

What do you do when you are overwhelmed?

Venting here really helps (....deep breath).
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  #545  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 01:22 PM
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Jenn, I'm so sorry you're stressed and overwhelmed today. Would it be possible to take 30 minutes out for a short nap? That's what I do, but I realise I'm not caring for two people in poor health.
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  #546  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 01:48 PM
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Jenn, I'm so sorry you're stressed and overwhelmed today. Would it be possible to take 30 minutes out for a short nap? That's what I do, but I realise I'm not caring for two people in poor health.
That’s a really good idea. Thank you. I really appreciate your input.
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  #547  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 02:25 PM
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Enjoying a lazy Saturday. Just been laying on the couch reading all afternoon. Later may run out to get something for dinner unless I can scrounge up something at home. Then will probably watch the new episode of Supernatural. All in all been a decent day. Feel pretty good.
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  #548  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 03:48 PM
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Re: Wellbutrin: I had horrible insomnia when I first went on it but it eventually cleared up.
Yeah my sleeps def weird. I’m not having insomnia on the going to sleep end but I’m waking up super early in the morning still tired at like 5 am.
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  #549  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 03:50 PM
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N2 was crying today. Because she insisted that shes moving out. So i filled out ALL that paperwork without her info. Now she wants to stay. Landlord says she has to be out by jan 31st. I pointed her toward craigslist for roomates. Any other ideas? Is that a bad idea? Btw shes 19.
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  #550  
Old Oct 13, 2018, 03:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Daonnachd View Post
My mother was moved to hospice care this week so I'm taking my family to see her this afternoon. It's a tight schedule because my wife is teaching a class at the art center, my younger son is helping make breakfast for the girls here for a volleyball tournament, and my older son has to be back by 7pm for the opening at the art gallery. I'm worried about my mother and stressed about the timing. Yet I almost feel like not going because when I rang her to say that I would be there today she thought I was my brother, so if I weren't to show up it'd be on him ... except that I don't know how much longer she'll be with us and I want my boys to see her again. The statistics surrounding longevity in hospice suggest less than 20 days. I don't know that she'll make it to Thanksgiving, which is likely the next opportunity my boys will have to see her given their academic and extracurricular demands.
Love and prayers,

WC
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