Bipolar Check In Thread #28

Blueberrybook · Oct 19, 2018, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatever2013

Doing great! I'm in my third week of Wellbutrin and it's just like night and day! I feel really good but not over-the-top, not hypomanic. I haven't felt this good in 27 years, since i was 25 and at the peak of my career. It's welcome indeed!

That is great news,!

Blueberrybook · Oct 19, 2018, 08:09 PM

Hurting a lot this evening. Fibromyalgia is bad. I do not think the gabapentin is helping me, or at least not the dosage I’m taking. I see the rheumatologist next month.

And stupid site from my mole removal a couple days ago is hurting too. One more day of attending to that twice a day, then just needs a band-aid. Hopefully, the biopsy will come back normal. Dermatologist said she didn’t think it would be cancerous, perhaps abnormal, and it had changed in appearance since last year. They photograph the moles there for comparison at follow up visits. I have so many, it was practically a photo shoot last time around 🙄 To my credit, I have been attending to this thing twice daily as per instructions, though I am glad I am nearly done.

BeyondtheRainbow · Oct 19, 2018, 08:15 PM

My Charlie cat finished his daily med today and now just has steroids every other day for 2-3 weeks and the prescription food until mid-January. I'm so glad to be down one thing to do every day. He seems like he understands

.

I posted a thread but I think my klonopin withdrawal is making me tired. I'll survive but I really want to be walking for exercise since my weight loss has stalled out and I'm just too tired. I keep thinking "am I depressed? No. Am I depressed? No". but if I took the depression test my therapist uses to monitor I'd be low to not depressed so No, that's not it. I have a SAD lamp but in the past using it before November has been bad. I may wind up trying it after I talk to my therapist Monday.

Maybe tomorrow will be more energetic. I just took my 5th lowered dose.

~Christina · Oct 19, 2018, 08:17 PM

Wonky mood , T and Crisis line has called to check on me , but overkill , maybe that’s the right wording lol

BeyondtheRainbow · Oct 19, 2018, 08:18 PM

Oh yeah, my robocalls are now up to 38 for the last 5 days. At least they didn't call in the middle of the night. But they do call early in the morning and I am still sleeping then. I've never had so many in a week.

Wild Coyote · Oct 19, 2018, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Wonky mood , T and Crisis line has called to check on me , but overkill , maybe that’s the right wording lol

You haven't lost your sense of humor!

Much Love,

WC

xRavenx · Oct 19, 2018, 10:32 PM

The past few days, I've been feeling that something is "off," and it's not just stress, although my anxiety is quite bad...

It's as if there's something within my body where I feel like it's hard to sit still and too many ideas are running through my head. I've been getting agitated easily. It's hard to stay focused, and I have problems thinking things through. I'm not feeling euphoric, but keyed up and a little more hyper. I bought so much stuff online too, and I have a hard time delaying gratification. I'm definitely more emotional. Just an observation... I hope this doesn't mean I have to adjust my meds, but it might come to that.

Anyway, hugs to you all.

Moose72 · Oct 20, 2018, 11:16 AM

Finally went to JUDO!! I feel so good and refreshed!

yellow_fleurs · Oct 20, 2018, 01:24 PM

Great news, I really like my therapist. I was able to say "very much" when she asked if I felt comfortable after our session. I immediately started rambling when asked questions haha. Granted, I am in a much better frame of mind and not semi paranoid feeling when meeting her like I was when I tried therapy last, but I also just good vibes. She talked about CBT/DBT so I think we'll work on that. And we discussed tracking my moods since my history of them is blurred and so I think she will help me figure that out.

Also feeling a little bit hyper and it's weird because I am due for my period and that's unusual. I really don't know what's going on right now but at least I am not deeply depressed

Oct 20, 2018, 02:06 PM

It's been a pleasant day. My husband and I took a nice walk along a trail we've never taken. The temps are super pleasant in the 60s to now low 70s. It was odd to see honeysuckle blooming. I thought that only bloomed in the summer.

I'm making a mini chocolate cake for two. It's so cute. I've made it three times already. It's nice to have such a yummy homemade treat without the temptation of leftovers. I make two mini layers that I fill with raspberry preserves and then ice with chocolate buttercream icing. It's lower sugar since I use Swerve confectioner's sugar.

Tomorrow will be hubby's last day home of his vacation week.

I actually think I've lost some weight. Ever since my Seroquel XR was lowered to 500 mg, my appetite has been reduced and my cravings shifted more towards vegetables. Maybe I can convince my psychiatrist to lower it to 450 mg. At that dose and lower, I am often successful at dieting, if my mood is good.

giddykitty · Oct 20, 2018, 02:57 PM

I don't really have any news, but I feel like I'll explode if I don't talk to someone.

I guess the news is I wasn't feeling well yesterday and so today I'm resting up while my H runs errands. I guess mood is normal, maybe on the high end except when I have to do things I don't want to do or that give me anxiety. Still always contemplating whether this is truly bipolar 2 or not. I was thinking about the last few times I was "high" and I suppose I did some regretable things, but I think it could have been circumstantial too. I wonder if I would have done it the same way had I been diagnosed sooner. And I wonder whether or not I'll repeat those things. I think maybe not because I recognize them as problems,...but on the other hand, my pms irritability has been less to none, so I guess I am getting helped regardless of diagnosis. I know I know I've been told that diagnosis is less important than effective treatment,...

anyway, I guess I'm just trying to find my place. Feeling a little lost and looking for sympathy. I can't always talk like this with my family. They either aren't as deep or they have just heard it so many times and have nothing more to say. Ah, I hope I don't start feeling that way about this place. Sometimes it's nice just to pretend someone is listening than to know for certain that they aren't.

lol boy i think too much! am I talking too much?? that was one of my problems. well, overtexting. I've been so depressed for so long, I haven't really been saying much, but today I feel different....well, I'm gonna stop it now before it gets too much more.

Blueberrybook · 05:03 PM

Slept in today. Got about 10 hours of sleep.

I didn't walk or run this morning and feel guilty about it, though I know if I don't show progress on the pdoc's scale next week, it will not be good.

A bit tired still and hurting from fibro.

We went to a family Halloween event, a bit of a drive, a little muddy. It was raining on the way there, but luckliy, the rain stopped. Did do a bit of walking, there, I suppose. Towards the end, I was sick of it, ready to leave, wished H hadn't bought so many tickets for my daughter because practically all the games were 1 ticket a piece. We went through them so many times.

Glad to be home. Tired though and have a bit of a headache.

But at least I DID go. My inclination was to not go and stay home, and even if I was whiny & wanting to leave, I kept it all in my head and did not voice it, so I suppose that worked out OK. And I carried around a purse that had to weigh 10, 15 lb. what with water bottles, small umbrellas and such. Also haven't cleaned out my coin change in awhile, and that adds starts adding weight as well.

Hope H will go for leftovers or something quick like frozen corndogs for dinner. I am tired.

Oh, no wonder. My period started. Fantastic. Four days early. Why not a 20 day cycle? Lovely.

Blueberrybook · Oct 20, 2018, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by giddykitty

I don't really have any news, but I feel like I'll explode if I don't talk to someone.

I guess the news is I wasn't feeling well yesterday and so today I'm resting up while my H runs errands. I guess mood is normal, maybe on the high end except when I have to do things I don't want to do or that give me anxiety. Still always contemplating whether this is truly bipolar 2 or not. I was thinking about the last few times I was "high" and I suppose I did some regretable things, but I think it could have been circumstantial too. I wonder if I would have done it the same way had I been diagnosed sooner. And I wonder whether or not I'll repeat those things. I think maybe not because I recognize them as problems,...but on the other hand, my pms irritability has been less to none, so I guess I am getting helped regardless of diagnosis. I know I know I've been told that diagnosis is less important than effective treatment,...

anyway, I guess I'm just trying to find my place. Feeling a little lost and looking for sympathy. I can't always talk like this with my family. They either aren't as deep or they have just heard it so many times and have nothing more to say. Ah, I hope I don't start feeling that way about this place. Sometimes it's nice just to pretend someone is listening than to know for certain that they aren't.

lol boy i think too much! am I talking too much?? that was one of my problems. well, overtexting. I've been so depressed for so long, I haven't really been saying much, but today I feel different....well, I'm gonna stop it now before it gets too much more.

I was diagnosed major depression then postpartum depression then bipolar II ,then bipolar I after I had a giant manic episode in the pdoc's waiting room & office on a scheduled appt. day. Narrowly missed the hospital on that one and would have been in there if not for H.

Not much difference in how they treat the 2, though I have noticed since the BP1 diagnosis, I get quick responses and med adjustments or appts. if I call regarding lack of sleep or hypomania. I get help for the hypo, even if it feels good because I quickly become fully manic, and it's bad.

I think BP1 might be more likely to become mixed, not sure about that one though I have now been mixed for ages, and that sucks.

It's not so much the diagnosis really. The treatment is mostly the same, and it depends if you have other mental illnesses too. Like I'm half the walkding DSM-V, I feel like as well as a pharmacy. Sigh.

I would have been different if diagnosed sooner, but in my case, with a major depression diagnosis, I was on SSRIs for 10 years, which would cause me mania, and I'd be ashamed to admit what I did while manic to the pdoc. I didn't realize it was mania anyway. If the first pdoc had asked all the questions in the right way, everything was there, he could have diagnosed bipolar and didn't, and so many later pdocs did not choose to re-diagnose, just accepted the major depression diagnosis. For me, yeah, the wrong diagnosis hurt a lot, but is is not like I can go back & undo it and have a re-do of all those years. Wouldn't be surprised if wrong meds caused brain changes that were worse than they would have been otherwise. But who knows?

Wild Coyote · Oct 20, 2018, 04:24 PM

It's another gorgeous day here!

A bit chilly; yet, the sunshine and the colors are bright!

I am in a lot of pain, so am staying home today.

I hope everyone is having a good weekend!

love to All!

WC

Blueberrybook · Oct 20, 2018, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Wonky mood , T and Crisis line has called to check on me , but overkill , maybe that’s the right wording lol

Hope you start feeling better.

Blueberrybook · Oct 20, 2018, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Oh yeah, my robocalls are now up to 38 for the last 5 days. At least they didn't call in the middle of the night. But they do call early in the morning and I am still sleeping then. I've never had so many in a week.

I am having the robocall problem too. Now, not only am I getting them in Spanish (which I do not speech at all), but in Vietnamese, too. I think it's Vietnamese, not an expert on East Asisan languages, but the Houston area does have a large Vietnamese population. And calls regarding elections by real people. Guess being on the no-call list does nothing for stopping those. Probably a clause around something if it's nonprofit. I just tell the political people I don't want to be told how to vote and hang up on them. They are all ultraconservatives anyway, this part of TX, and my political views are exactly the opposite.

Blueberrybook · Oct 20, 2018, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xRavenx

The past few days, I've been feeling that something is "off," and it's not just stress, although my anxiety is quite bad...

It's as if there's something within my body where I feel like it's hard to sit still and too many ideas are running through my head. I've been getting agitated easily. It's hard to stay focused, and I have problems thinking things through. I'm not feeling euphoric, but keyed up and a little more hyper. I bought so much stuff online too, and I have a hard time delaying gratification. I'm definitely more emotional. Just an observation... I hope this doesn't mean I have to adjust my meds, but it might come to that.

Anyway, hugs to you all.

Do you see your T or pdoc soon? I'm agitated all the time, but mixed, who knows, agitation and depression run together, or maybe ADHD, God, who knows...?

Sounds like maybe hypomania or mixed, but I'm not an expert. I do think you should at least give your pdoc a call on Monday.

Blueberrybook · Oct 20, 2018, 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

Finally went to JUDO!! I feel so good and refreshed!

Awesome! Sounds like you had a great time!

Blueberrybook · Oct 20, 2018, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Great news, I really like my therapist. I was able to say "very much" when she asked if I felt comfortable after our session. I immediately started rambling when asked questions haha. Granted, I am in a much better frame of mind and not semi paranoid feeling when meeting her like I was when I tried therapy last, but I also just good vibes. She talked about CBT/DBT so I think we'll work on that. And we discussed tracking my moods since my history of them is blurred and so I think she will help me figure that out.

Also feeling a little bit hyper and it's weird because I am due for my period and that's unusual. I really don't know what's going on right now but at least I am not deeply depressed

It is so nice to click with a T. It took me 20 years to find one, off & on searching. My T also does CBT.

There have been some cycles I have had a lot of energy a day or two before my period. Hormones can do crazy stuff, and not always the same stuff every time either. Or it could just be BP, you never know. Are you sleeping OK? Maybe you are feeling better even with an approaching cycle because you are not so depressed?

Blueberrybook · Oct 20, 2018, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

It's been a pleasant day. My husband and I took a nice walk along a trail we've never taken. The temps are super pleasant in the 60s to now low 70s. It was odd to see honeysuckle blooming. I thought that only bloomed in the summer.

I'm making a mini chocolate cake for two. It's so cute. I've made it three times already. It's nice to have such a yummy homemade treat without the temptation of leftovers. I make two mini layers that I fill with raspberry preserves and then ice with chocolate buttercream icing. It's lower sugar since I use Swerve confectioner's sugar.

Tomorrow will be hubby's last day home of his vacation week.

I actually think I've lost some weight. Ever since my Seroquel XR was lowered to 500 mg, my appetite has been reduced and my cravings shifted more towards vegetables. Maybe I can convince my psychiatrist to lower it to 450 mg. At that dose and lower, I am often successful at dieting, if my mood is good.

Wow, Seroquel 500 is still a lot. I thought I was on a lot at 400 mg (mine is reg. release though). I couldn't deal with the XR stuff. Made me sleepy and fill up on sweet stuff then not be hungry for meals. Didn't have any energy. But regular release, it's like a completely different med for me.

I am a glad you had a nice day. Sorry your H will have to go back to work.

yellow_fleurs · 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

It is so nice to click with a T. It took me 20 years to find one, off & on searching. My T also does CBT.

There have been some cycles I have had a lot of energy a day or two before my period. Hormones can do crazy stuff, and not always the same stuff every time either. Or it could just be BP, you never know. Are you sleeping OK? Maybe you are feeling better even with an approaching cycle because you are not so depressed?

I am glad you found a T you click with as well.

I am sleeping okay, 5-6 hrs a few nights this past week, but I did get 8 hrs last night. Don't feel like I will want to sleep much tonight. I am also super irritable and impatient, and feel hyper to the point I was worried about being annoying with friends today. Thing is, hormones do normally make me very irritable, just usually mixed with being super depressed/very low energy each month and so this is different for me I guess. Suppose the best thing is to track each month to look for a pattern to see if it is PMDD related or something else.

TheSeaCat · Oct 20, 2018, 10:58 PM

I'm feeling better than I have since getting this diagnosis which makes me scared that one of my meds is going to crap out on me. I actually wanted to clean my room, it seriously needed it the dresser was a pigsty. My anxiety feels managed for once I haven't felt flighty at all since he increased my dose to three times a day. I'm almost scared of how good I've been doing. I know the depression is probably lurking ready to attack me on a moments notice.

TheSeaCat · Oct 20, 2018, 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Oh yeah, my robocalls are now up to 38 for the last 5 days. At least they didn't call in the middle of the night. But they do call early in the morning and I am still sleeping then. I've never had so many in a week.

I hate robocalls is it a house phone or a cell phone; my iPhone has something called do not disturb. It's a mode where your phone will silence calls in between a certain time. I think mine is set midnight to 8am. It might be on your phone and that could stop those pesky night calls. If it's a number with an area code I don't recognize it goes straight to my voicemail. There are a few apps that work with my boyfriend's Samsung I just could never get them to play right with my phone. It might be something to look into.