Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Wow, Seroquel 500 is still a lot. I thought I was on a lot at 400 mg (mine is reg. release though). I couldn't deal with the XR stuff. Made me sleepy and fill up on sweet stuff then not be hungry for meals. Didn't have any energy. But regular release, it's like a completely different med for me.

I am a glad you had a nice day. Sorry your H will have to go back to work.

I much prefer XR, though I know many others like you who prefer the regular. It's good that there are both. XR used to give me morning "hangovers", but that eventually stopped. It wasn't that bad or even an issue at lower doses, for me, but even when first starting them it required adjustments. I think 450 mg is my goal, though my illness changes that dose from time to time, mostly upwards.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

I much prefer XR, though I know many others like you who prefer the regular. It's good that there are both. XR used to give me morning "hangovers", but that eventually stopped. It wasn't that bad or even an issue at lower doses, for me, but even when first starting them it required adjustments. I think 450 mg is my goal, though my illness changes that dose from time to time, mostly upwards.

It's good that lowering the dose has helped you. Everyone is different when it comes to meds, plus the cocktail each person is one, not to mention other long term meds, like the Protonix for my stomach and gabapentin for fibro. Don't think the gabapentin is doing much for it though. Some meds I need a large dosage for being small. Other, not so much.

[Blueberrybook]

My day is not off to a great start. I ran this morning, way too much.

Scale showed I weighed more (ED hated that), but I always weigh more at the start of my period.

Stupid period is giving me cramps and had to come 4 days early; having a 24 day cycle already sucked enough.

Trying to get a meal plan together this week. I have to go grocery shopping after lunch. I wish I could put it off until tomorrow, but I need pasta for dinner tonight and don't have any. IDK, maybe I could just get that, do the rest of the shopping tomorrow. H wants me to try shopping at Aldi to see if I can save money on groceries; my sister says it helps her, but she does have a family of 5, while I have a family of 3, with 2 super picky eaters.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by TheSeaCat

I hate robocalls is it a house phone or a cell phone; my iPhone has something called do not disturb. It's a mode where your phone will silence calls in between a certain time. I think mine is set midnight to 8am. It might be on your phone and that could stop those pesky night calls. If it's a number with an area code I don't recognize it goes straight to my voicemail. There are a few apps that work with my boyfriend's Samsung I just could never get them to play right with my phone. It might be something to look into.

It's an iPhone. I'll look for do not disturb. I don't answer most calls (if the same number calls a bunch I'll try to stop them) but I hesitate to ignore all of them because once there was a misunderstanding with a medical bill and because I ignored the calls about it the bill was sent to collections and I had to go through an embarrassing mess over $30.

Thanks for the suggestions. I'm going to set up Do not disturb right now.

[yellow_fleurs]

Well, it seems like I am almost definitely skipping depression this menstrual cycle! Fingers crossed it is because acupuncture and other stuff is working for my PMDD, and not because I am not stable since I feel hyper. This is confusing, but I am not going to worry too much as it's not like I am doing anything concerning and it's a welcome break (although I did have to stop myself from driving recklessly a few times which is out of character-then had a dream I got in an accident which I guess was my brain reminding me to be responsible)

[MJLouise]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

I'm in my car waiting to go into my therapist's office. I'm not sure what to talk about, but I'm sure once I'm there I'll figure it out. I'm not yet fully at ease with her and feel my progress has taken a step back since leaving my previous therapist. Last week I asked to reduce our sessions to once every other Friday, but she discouraged that saying she sees most all of her clients every week, and that I need it now. I saw many past therapists every other week, even at worse points of my illness.

Truth is, I'd like to save some money and I don't see what we're doing as productive. Money is a serious issue for my husband and I right now. Mental illness can bring on poverty. So many things need repair. The money isn't there, and we can't figure out a good solution for the short-term. I feel that we're going to have to sell things. I wish it was my things, but other than my portion of the house, I have nothing of much value. I hate to see hubby sell any of his things, because the situation is because of my illness.

Update: Got home. My therapist did agree to reduce to every other week. Now I have to figure out more expenses to cut.

Are you working? If not Do you qualify for SSDI? That could help offset the burden.

We’ve been following this guy Dave Ramsey. Did his snowball get out of debt thing and now we finally have savings and budget in medical expenses. He’s got a free podcast you can download the app or catch him on You Tube. FYI though he’s super Christian but helps everyone regardless of faith and is really funny about it and down to earth.

[MJLouise]

Update.

My depression wasn’t bad today.
I’m alive. I’m exhausted but okay. It was a crazy day. My son had 13 kids here. I had to make small talk which sucked at the beginning of the party. My son was in charge and did everything except the food. He kept his friends very entertained. I put food out and supervised most of it from thou couch. I took pictures and lit candles and sang happy birthday like a normal mom. Everything was store bought so I didn’t have to bake. Paper plates etc were used to ease clean up. Which hubby did. In the last hour I went to my bedroom to lay down while he managed parent pick up.

I survived and it meant s lot to my now 14 yr old.

I’m so tired I feel sick but I’m ok. Prob going to lay in bed most of the day tomorrow.

I've been skipping doses of Clozaril. Not on purpose, just not supposed to take a dose before ECT and end up completely forgetting the morning dose. I'm hoping ECT is going to work at keeping me from relapsing. I really don't know if ECT is really doing anything.

pretty much a wasted weekend.

yesterday I heard from laura (not that I really wanted too, she just emailed me saying hi). I replied saying hi and that not much had changed (that I was still feeling bad), and just left it at that- i've moved on.. she has her problems, I have mine

but nothing else really. sat here mostly struggling to find the motivation to really do much

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Spikes, Would they let you take the clozaril all at once? I take all of mine at night because I'm horrible at taking meds more than once a day.

I never did get that mcdonalds on friday night either.

something came up

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

I have good news.
Yesterday I went to Sacramento again to visit my mother. She's doing better than she was two days ago.

That is great news !

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Well, it seems like I am almost definitely skipping depression this menstrual cycle! Fingers crossed it is because acupuncture and other stuff is working for my PMDD, and not because I am not stable since I feel hyper. This is confusing, but I am not going to worry too much as it's not like I am doing anything concerning and it's a welcome break (although I did have to stop myself from driving recklessly a few times which is out of character-then had a dream I got in an accident which I guess was my brain reminding me to be responsible)

I wish I could afford acupuncture. It helped me a lot with anxiety. Pretty much felt as if I'd taken enough Xanax to get the anxiety out of my system. It helped me with restless leg syndrome too, but then I discovered taking calcium & magnesium at bedtime stops RLS for me.

I'm right there with the cycle, stupid thing started 4 days early, as if I liked having a 24 day cycle. It took me years to stop having the 21 day cycle once my period startied again after breastfeeding (this is not an unhealthy stop, it just happens to some women while nursing).

I don't have PMDD. But I usually do end up with PMS and/or bad beginning cycle symptoms.

I hope the acupuncture keeps working fo you. I found it very relaxing

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by MJLouise

Update.

My depression wasn’t bad today.
I’m alive. I’m exhausted but okay. It was a crazy day. My son had 13 kids here. I had to make small talk which sucked at the beginning of the party. My son was in charge and did everything except the food. He kept his friends very entertained. I put food out and supervised most of it from thou couch. I took pictures and lit candles and sang happy birthday like a normal mom. Everything was store bought so I didn’t have to bake. Paper plates etc were used to ease clean up. Which hubby did. In the last hour I went to my bedroom to lay down while he managed parent pick up.

I survived and it meant s lot to my now 14 yr old.

I’m so tired I feel sick but I’m ok. Prob going to lay in bed most of the day tomorrow.

I would feel the same too. But you survived it! Now, enjoy some rest!

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

I wish I could afford acupuncture. It helped me a lot with anxiety. Pretty much felt as if I'd taken enough Xanax to get the anxiety out of my system. It helped me with restless leg syndrome too, but then I discovered taking calcium & magnesium at bedtime stops RLS for me.

I'm right there with the cycle, stupid thing started 4 days early, as if I liked having a 24 day cycle. It took me years to stop having the 21 day cycle once my period startied again after breastfeeding (this is not an unhealthy stop, it just happens to some women while nursing).

I don't have PMDD. But I usually do end up with PMS and/or bad beginning cycle symptoms.

I hope the acupuncture keeps working fo you. I found it very relaxing

Thank you! I actually just responded to your other post. I wish you could afford acupuncture or insurance covered it if it helps you. It is actually very expensive for me, and stressing me financially, but I am going to do it for a bit then maybe cut back on it if I feel better.

[Moose72]

Trying to fill out these nasty papers

[Wild Coyote]

It's a nice quiet, peaceful day here.
I am enjoying the peace and quiet.

I hope everyone is having a good Sunday AND will have some fun this week!


WC

[giddykitty]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

I was diagnosed major depression then postpartum depression then bipolar II ,then bipolar I after I had a giant manic episode in the pdoc's waiting room & office on a scheduled appt. day. Narrowly missed the hospital on that one and would have been in there if not for H.

Not much difference in how they treat the 2, though I have noticed since the BP1 diagnosis, I get quick responses and med adjustments or appts. if I call regarding lack of sleep or hypomania. I get help for the hypo, even if it feels good because I quickly become fully manic, and it's bad.

I think BP1 might be more likely to become mixed, not sure about that one though I have now been mixed for ages, and that sucks.

It's not so much the diagnosis really. The treatment is mostly the same, and it depends if you have other mental illnesses too. Like I'm half the walkding DSM-V, I feel like as well as a pharmacy. Sigh.

I would have been different if diagnosed sooner, but in my case, with a major depression diagnosis, I was on SSRIs for 10 years, which would cause me mania, and I'd be ashamed to admit what I did while manic to the pdoc. I didn't realize it was mania anyway. If the first pdoc had asked all the questions in the right way, everything was there, he could have diagnosed bipolar and didn't, and so many later pdocs did not choose to re-diagnose, just accepted the major depression diagnosis. For me, yeah, the wrong diagnosis hurt a lot, but is is not like I can go back & undo it and have a re-do of all those years. Wouldn't be surprised if wrong meds caused brain changes that were worse than they would have been otherwise. But who knows?

Thanks for your insight. sorry you had to go through all of that, but like you said, can't go back and change it so we might as well learn from it. I appreciate hearing others' stories.

[giddykitty]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

My day is not off to a great start. I ran this morning, way too much.

Scale showed I weighed more (ED hated that), but I always weigh more at the start of my period.

Stupid period is giving me cramps and had to come 4 days early; having a 24 day cycle already sucked enough.

Trying to get a meal plan together this week. I have to go grocery shopping after lunch. I wish I could put it off until tomorrow, but I need pasta for dinner tonight and don't have any. IDK, maybe I could just get that, do the rest of the shopping tomorrow. H wants me to try shopping at Aldi to see if I can save money on groceries; my sister says it helps her, but she does have a family of 5, while I have a family of 3, with 2 super picky eaters.

mine came like four days early this month too! lol I mean, not really funny, but kinda funny that I'm not alone. I hate it though because I have such a terrible day once a month that I really need to keep track of it. I'm kindof afraid to book a flight this spring because I don't want it landing on that day. Oh boy would that be awful!

[giddykitty]

Originally Posted by MJLouise

Update.

My depression wasn’t bad today.
I’m alive. I’m exhausted but okay. It was a crazy day. My son had 13 kids here. I had to make small talk which sucked at the beginning of the party. My son was in charge and did everything except the food. He kept his friends very entertained. I put food out and supervised most of it from thou couch. I took pictures and lit candles and sang happy birthday like a normal mom. Everything was store bought so I didn’t have to bake. Paper plates etc were used to ease clean up. Which hubby did. In the last hour I went to my bedroom to lay down while he managed parent pick up.

I survived and it meant s lot to my now 14 yr old.

I’m so tired I feel sick but I’m ok. Prob going to lay in bed most of the day tomorrow.

Hey you did it! Kudos to you!

I'm debating whether or not to take tomorrow off from work. I'm just frustrated and angry... and have been all day. I don't want to snap at anybody or do anything stupid while at work.

I hate this angry feeling.

I have a lot of deadlines to meet at work, though. I don't know if it's a good idea for me to take the day off. That's the sucky part.

I did successfully fix a bunch of the broken electronics I bought from various sellers on eBay, so that's good. The only downside is that I don't need them and don't have any real use for them. I just felt like fixing them for fun, which is stupid... because I spent literally $1k on broken stuff and fixing them. Maybe I can resell them for a profit? Not my intent, but it could work out in the end.

[pirilin]

I'm fine.
La Bruja is playing granny more often. The two girls live in Miami.
Me, Thanks To The Superior Power, 160 miles away.

So she spends a couple of weekends a month there.
Sometimes I tag alone to visit with friends. And get drunk. I can't drink alone.

I've come to dislike Miami.
The traffic, rude people, gangstas wannabe, the prices, the tall buildings.
Miami has become NY with palm trees. The Heat is losing.
Even the shouting of Spanglish gets to me now.

I managed to stay behind this trip.
So wonderful. So peaceful. I can do no wrong.
My music is loud. So what?.
I have sports in every TV. No HGTV. Great!!!.
I wake up three or four times a night. Good.
Sleep during the day. No one cares.
Don't take pills unless I'm eating Arnica.
I eat a lot of peanut butter and get fat. So?.
My dogs appreciate rib bones. Priceless.

I can get used to this miserable life. Oh YEAH!!!.

[yellow_fleurs]

Told 2 of my best friends my diagnosis and they both were super surprised and said it doesn't seem like me. One said she thinks I just have anxiety and depression. But, they are not doctors and haven't even been in the same state as me for the past 2 years, although I visit decently often. So, not assuming they would know. It does seem odd to me, as my history of having hypomanic episodes is really unclear to me. Oh well, my therapist will help me figure out and track my moods in the future. No reason to worry too much about it.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Told 2 of my best friends my diagnosis and they both were super surprised and said it doesn't seem like me. One said she thinks I just have anxiety and depression. But, they are not doctors and haven't even been in the same state as me for the past 2 years, although I visit decently often. So, not assuming they would know. It does seem odd to me, as my history of having hypomanic episodes is really unclear to me. Oh well, my therapist will help me figure out and track my moods in the future. No reason to worry too much about it.

My best friend in college didn't know until I told her, not about my eating disorder and not about (my then diagnosed) depression & anxiety.

She said she did wonder about my weight since I was so thin in so many pictures, but I always ate normally around her. We didn't live together, and she did not realize I spent the bulk of my week overexercising and restricting to make up for spending Friday night or Saturday with her. She never wanted to come right out and ask.

Since I was baring it all, I told her about the depression & anxiety too. It seemed to throw her.

Several years ago, she visited when my daughter was in pre-school and was very shaken up. One of her good friends in vet school (and a good vet too) had suddenly given her dogs away to people who would care for them and committed suicide. My friend told me no one in her circle of her vet school class of friends could believe it.

Sometimes, I think people don't see it because they don't want to. And other times, I think they don't see it because we don't let it out and pretend like everything is normal.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I'm debating whether or not to take tomorrow off from work. I'm just frustrated and angry... and have been all day. I don't want to snap at anybody or do anything stupid while at work.

I hate this angry feeling.

I have a lot of deadlines to meet at work, though. I don't know if it's a good idea for me to take the day off. That's the sucky part.

I did successfully fix a bunch of the broken electronics I bought from various sellers on eBay, so that's good. The only downside is that I don't need them and don't have any real use for them. I just felt like fixing them for fun, which is stupid... because I spent literally $1k on broken stuff and fixing them. Maybe I can resell them for a profit? Not my intent, but it could work out in the end.

I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time