Bipolar Questions Version 4

discovering/ listening to music
when you get ill, is it usually a brief illness or a long one

Few days but I try to stay away from sick people.

Do you love someone and are you with them?

Yes and yes

Q Do you have nightmares? Is there a common theme? (ya a two part ques)

Not at this time to both. A lot of other stuff on my plate at the moment.

Can you feel manic and/or depressive episodes coming or do they hit you all at once?

Sometimes, but I very rarely have recurring ones (and themes) unless I'm incredibly depressed.

Can you feel manic and/or depressive episodes coming or do they hit you all at once?

I can feel them. Lately though they seem to be jumbled together somewhat. Not fun.

Q if we were hibernating animals how long would you choose to hibernate for?

late May through September. I get manic then and am stuck inside because I don't tolerate heat well.

What was your last non-serious injury?

I honestly don't remember

when I have an injury, it's always serious. their's no "light" injuries with me.

are you facinated by the human body and do you try to learn about the bones, and the processes, etc? (I personally am facinated by it all)

I am fascinated by the body; right now I am taking an anatomy and physiology course.

Are you taking any courses or are there any you’d like to take?

I'd like to go back to school and get my PhD -- my MA is in Education and my BA was in Spanish. I'd like to go the Education route.

What is one thing you'd never change about yourself?

I'm very true to myself, and stand by people and actions I believe in even if doing so creates some disadvantage for me.

What is something you should do this weekend that you've been putting off?

uh...

maybe add some nore chapters to my creative writing? (I've let it slide)

nothing important or serious though. my life is at a standstill

and no, I'm probably not going to add any chapters to my writing, because, well.. because I can't be bothered

what is one subject that you'd like to know more about

And the question is ???.

genealogy

Have you had more snow, less snow or an average amount of snow this winter?

Idk. Probably average. It’s been colder than typical though.

Do you have a pet in your life who brings you love?

2 cats.

Have you googled your therapist/pdoc before?

Yes. She doesn't have much online. She was a victim of identity theft.

How often do you think of S?

Sui crossed my mind during my three year depression.
Not like an obssesion, but an alternative.
It's a bad move. Permanent. I hate permanent.

Now that I'm out of it, I promised myself, no matter what,
that I will live as long as The Superior Power has intended.
Besides, who's gonna pester my children?.

How long have you been in your occupation.

Cheers.

It depends where I am in my illness, rarely when I’m well or hypomanic and frequently when I’m depressed.

What do you do to become, or remain, hopeful?

Have an end goal in mind (or just something to look forward to), be it something practical like completing school or fun like a concert or a play or a vacation.

What's the last thing you did just for you? Just for fun?

Attended a drum circle.

Are you totally honest with your pdoc?

About the stuff that matters, 100%. They're no help to me if they don't know my symptoms, or if a med isn't working, etc. Of course, me and my pdoc (psych NP) have a good working relationship, so that helps.

What was (or is) your favorite subject in school?

Math and foreign language. I loved them for the same reason — symbols and the rules to combine the symbols that made them mean something beyond bigger than the individual symbols on their own. No one ever understands what I mean by that. It’s like the whole world can be broken down into its most basic parts and then there are laws by which those parts can be combined — and so long as you memorize the individual parts and abide by the laws, you can express anything the human mind can imagine. It’s amazing to me.

Q: Did bipolar affect your performance in school? Did you ever tell a teacher/professor about your mental health struggles?

Yes and no. In my youngest years, I was so into other things, from daydreaming to very very serious ballet. School work started as "optional" at first, then was simply a side thought. I was into some subjects, particularly French. Then English literature and history interested me. Sometimes math came especially easy for me. I was very eager to participate in class sometimes, almost excessively. Then during more serious mood episodes it was not a priority again. I almost flunked a grade because I played hookie too many days during a depression.

At one point, they put me in a low level, almost remedial, class. Then when I became more focused on school work, I jumped all the way to the advanced levels, and did great. Somehow I graduated at the top of my high school class. I wasn't proud of myself. I almost felt like a fraud, or that everyone else must have been really lousy students.

In college, I had semesters on the Dean's list and ones with mediocre and occasional bad grades, depending on my moods. When "up", I made up for the "down" periods grade and credit wise. When "up", I felt like a super powered genius. When "down", I was motivationally and cognitively impaired, not to mention other suffering.

I didn't have to tell any teachers about my mental issues. They saw them. I had a traumatic incident in high school that eventually led to them recommending therapy, then transfer to a private school. At college, I was referred to a university psychiatrist, but that lasted only one visit before a mood switch. I rarely went back for second visits. While working and studying in Taiwan, my boss took me to a hospital that gave me bags of pills. My mood switched, then I quit to travel around Asia by myself, etc.

Q: What was the greatest year of your life so far, and why?

A: 2012 when I went to Spain to study for my BA degree for half a year. I may never again be able to afford a trip to Europe, but it was one of the most fascinating and greatest learning experiences of my life. I came back home and finished my schooling with excellent grades.


Q: If money wasn't an issue, where might you visit?