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  #226  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 05:54 PM
251turnaround 251turnaround is offline
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I had to call in sick to work. I'm too out of it to function. Too sleep deprived and too weird and hypomanic.

I threw out my cigarettes and ordered some vaping gear. I drained my bank account doing this but oh well.
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  #227  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 05:59 PM
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Questioning everything including meds. I'm done with this mental heath ****.
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  #228  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 06:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluebicycle View Post
Maybe I'm being negative, but over the years and recently, I've read a bunch of posts where people say they're hypomanic or manic, and then all of a sudden it "wears off" after a day or two with no depression. I feel like a lot of people are quick to jump to "I'm hypo/manic!" when in reality, it boils down to having a good day. Maybe it's because I want to help, but I also don't want to accuse anybody of simply having a good day, because I could be wrong. And the other thing is... sometimes when we're depressed, we have 1 good day where we don't feel bad and then "I'm not depressed! I'm hypomanic now!"


Sorry for being negative. With the holidays coming up, I want to be supportive, because some people do genuinely get manic/hypomanic/depressed/mixed, but I don't want to be harsh and say "that's normal behavior." So I'm refraining from posting in those threads.


Otherwise, had a good day. My boss ripped the POS guy at work a new asshole.


The way your thinking about hypo and depression etc is the same as I feel also.

I have no problems speaking my mind , I’m blunt like that

People have every right to be mad, happy or sad and its not a damn thing to do with Bipolar, can possibly be more about a persons personality and just there outlook on life some people just go on and on about stuff.

Glad you had a good day at work !!! It’s always fun watching a co worker get what they deserve. LOL !
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  #229  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 06:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Guiness187055 View Post
I can't win. The state of Florida says they sent a letter notifying me that I had to have a phone interview to continue food stamps. I don't recall getting this notice nor is it on my electronic notices. So now I have to reapply for food stamps which takes hours that I don't have because I am leaving town. I won't have good internet where I am going so I can't apply from there. I have to wait till I get home to reapply which means I will be without food stamps for 2 months. Gonna be tough but just might make it. Time will tell. Thanks for listening to my rant. Hope everyone is having a better day than me.


I’m so sorry your having to go through such utter bullshyttt !

Hope it somehow gets figured out sooner rather than later
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  #230  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 06:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Moose72 View Post
Feeling irritable. Not fun. Feel short-tempered too. Out to lunch. Maybe eating will help? Or it cant be the change in meds...


Did eating help ?
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  #231  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 06:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Miguel'smom View Post
Questioning everything including meds. I'm done with this mental heath ****.


Physically write on papers what’s going on right now, sometimes paper makes thing look more manageable.

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  #232  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 06:13 PM
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Originally Posted by spikes View Post
Depressed.

I can't/won't do any of my work and have a headache. I went out for a walk in the park for a change today, but really I just want everything to stop.


I hope tomorrow is a brighter day for you
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  #233  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 06:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Miguel'smom View Post
Questioning everything including meds. I'm done with this mental heath ****.
Sorry you are feeling that way. I get like that too. It sucks. It has caused me to selectively take meds, self-dose or not take them at all. None of that yields a good result either.

Sometimes it feels like what did we ever do to deserve to be born with MI?
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  #234  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 06:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Moose72 View Post
Im feeling so anxious about not being able to pay the rent today even though i think its not late (with a penalty) on Monday. I have a T appointment in the morning and then my case manager after that, that day.


Feeling like I hate myself right now. Yeah I know I was happy this mornijng.


It's official: the rent didn't get paid today. gotta wait till monday. Its good that the first fell on a saturday.


Glad you don’t have a addl fee!!!

Life costs so much money
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  #235  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 06:16 PM
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Originally Posted by 251turnaround View Post
I had to call in sick to work. I'm too out of it to function. Too sleep deprived and too weird and hypomanic.

I threw out my cigarettes and ordered some vaping gear. I drained my bank account doing this but oh well.
I'm so sorry. I hope you start feeling better over the weekend. You're one-up on me; I can't even hold down a job...sigh.

I hope the weekend gives you a break to recover.
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  #236  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 06:18 PM
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Originally Posted by Moose72 View Post
Im feeling so anxious about not being able to pay the rent today even though i think its not late (with a penalty) on Monday. I have a T appointment in the morning and then my case manager after that, that day.

Feeling like I hate myself right now. Yeah I know I was happy this mornijng.

It's official: the rent didn't get paid today. gotta wait till monday. Its good that the first fell on a saturday.
I know money issues all too well. I'm worried about the mortgage. We have 2 of them, but one is much larger than the other and the big one comes due on the 1st of the month, the smaller on the 15th.
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  #237  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 06:19 PM
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Originally Posted by spikes View Post
Depressed.
I can't/won't do any of my work and have a headache. I went out for a walk in the park for a change today, but really I just want everything to stop.
Are you feeling any better?
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  #238  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 06:50 PM
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Originally Posted by ~Christina View Post
Did eating help ?
That and my daughter getting home with the rent money.
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  #239  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 06:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Moose72 View Post
That and my daughter getting home with the rent money.


Rent money is goooood !!! Glad she didn’t flake on you
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  #240  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 06:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Blueberrybook View Post
I know money issues all too well. I'm worried about the mortgage. We have 2 of them, but one is much larger than the other and the big one comes due on the 1st of the month, the smaller on the 15th.
I can't even imagine two mortgages! Its hard enough paying rent once a month.
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  #241  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 06:54 PM
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Originally Posted by ~Christina View Post
Rent money is goooood !!! Glad she didn’t flake on you
Well she still owes me about $50. *sigh* But as long as I get it soon im ok with it.
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  #242  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 06:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Blueberrybook View Post
I hate that my stupid brain can't even agree with itself! And I know logically that I am not fat, am in fact underweight. I haven't even been overweight in my liftetime, maybe could have lost 5 lb. in high school, but I never got any exercise or watched what I ate at all. My highest weight was when pregnant, and it was the expected 25-30 lb. weight gain for a baby, and I lost so much in the hospital, and breastfeeding; I couldn't keep weight on nursing. Crazy too, my ED wasn't bugging me when nursing, so I wasn't over-the-moon celebrating those weights. OB told me it happens to some moms exclusively breastfeeding, and being a stay-at-home mom, I nursed A LOT. Plus, my daughter teethed early (first tooth at 3 months), and supposedly, nursing was supposed to help with teething pain.
My breasts grew big nursing and went down a little but not all the way after. I was bad at pregnancy but super at nursing. Milk galore! I once pumped 7 oz out of ONE side! For comparison, a standard baby bottle is 8 oz..
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  #243  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 07:35 PM
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Another day with no appetite but very little nausea, so an improvement since yesterday. I had to force myself to eat a little bit today. It is ok because I do still need to lose about 5 or 10 pounds. Have been slowly dropping since I weighed in at my highest ever a couple of months ago. Just started weighing myself every morning and being mindful of what I eat. My goal at first when I find out I have gained is to first stop gaining weight and then try to lose it. I find it much easier to be successful when starting by not gaining anymore weight first and then build up good habits to slowly lose slowly rather than going on any diets. I'm 6 pounds down from my peak.
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  #244  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 07:48 PM
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So you gained 16 pounds?
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  #245  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 07:49 PM
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Oh, I’m so pissed off right now...

Husband went bonkers because the finance company we went to for home renovation loan apparently had bad reviews. So I pulled paperwork together and started process for home equity line of credit with our credit union. Basically did the legwork myself. Caused me a lot of stress. We now have an appraisal walkthrough on Monday morning. No big deal, right? Oh no, according to him everything has to be cleaned up and painted before then. Painting, by the way, that HE was supposed to do, along with installing the shower door that he kicked the installer out so it wasn’t done, and the cracked upstairs window that he was also going to fix. But he has to wash the outside of the house first with a pressure washer that he won’t rent, it must be bought so not enough money for Christmas AGAIN.

He whines about not having time for “learning,” but I have no time either because I’m doing all his work along with my own. And I WAS going to do holiday decorations this weekend. Guess not now.

See doctor Monday, dentist Wednesday and pain doc Thursday.

Sorry I’m grumpy but this takes the cake.
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  #246  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 07:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Fharraige View Post
Oh, I’m so pissed off right now...

Husband went bonkers because the finance company we went to for home renovation loan apparently had bad reviews. So I pulled paperwork together and started process for home equity line of credit with our credit union. Basically did the legwork myself. Caused me a lot of stress. We now have an appraisal walkthrough on Monday morning. No big deal, right? Oh no, according to him everything has to be cleaned up and painted before then. Painting, by the way, that HE was supposed to do, along with installing the shower door that he kicked the installer out so it wasn’t done, and the cracked upstairs window that he was also going to fix. But he has to wash the outside of the house first with a pressure washer that he won’t rent, it must be bought so not enough money for Christmas AGAIN.

He whines about not having time for “learning,” but I have no time either because I’m doing all his work along with my own. And I WAS going to do holiday decorations this weekend. Guess not now.

See doctor Monday, dentist Wednesday and pain doc Thursday.

Sorry I’m grumpy but this takes the cake.
Don't be sorry! I'd be grumpy too. Vent away.
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  #247  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 08:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Fharraige View Post
Oh, I’m so pissed off right now...

Husband went bonkers because the finance company we went to for home renovation loan apparently had bad reviews. So I pulled paperwork together and started process for home equity line of credit with our credit union. Basically did the legwork myself. Caused me a lot of stress. We now have an appraisal walkthrough on Monday morning. No big deal, right? Oh no, according to him everything has to be cleaned up and painted before then. Painting, by the way, that HE was supposed to do, along with installing the shower door that he kicked the installer out so it wasn’t done, and the cracked upstairs window that he was also going to fix. But he has to wash the outside of the house first with a pressure washer that he won’t rent, it must be bought so not enough money for Christmas AGAIN.

He whines about not having time for “learning,” but I have no time either because I’m doing all his work along with my own. And I WAS going to do holiday decorations this weekend. Guess not now.

See doctor Monday, dentist Wednesday and pain doc Thursday.

Sorry I’m grumpy but this takes the cake.
I think I'd also be upset. You have had a lot going on for a long time now.
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  #248  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 08:22 PM
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So you gained 16 pounds?
I gained without realizing it about 12 pounds. I was already carrying a few extra... Developed some bad eating habits like started buying large bags of chips to take home, eating out a lot and having a dessert everyday. Now i still buy desserts but only have very small portions and not every day and just don't buy junk food except for pizza and eat in limited portions.
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  #249  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 08:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Fharraige View Post
Oh, I’m so pissed off right now...


Husband went bonkers because the finance company we went to for home renovation loan apparently had bad reviews. So I pulled paperwork together and started process for home equity line of credit with our credit union. Basically did the legwork myself. Caused me a lot of stress. We now have an appraisal walkthrough on Monday morning. No big deal, right? Oh no, according to him everything has to be cleaned up and painted before then. Painting, by the way, that HE was supposed to do, along with installing the shower door that he kicked the installer out so it wasn’t done, and the cracked upstairs window that he was also going to fix. But he has to wash the outside of the house first with a pressure washer that he won’t rent, it must be bought so not enough money for Christmas AGAIN.


He whines about not having time for “learning,” but I have no time either because I’m doing all his work along with my own. And I WAS going to do holiday decorations this weekend. Guess not now.


See doctor Monday, dentist Wednesday and pain doc Thursday.


Sorry I’m grumpy but this takes the cake.


I would be really angry about it all !!

Sorry all this is going on
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  #250  
Old Nov 30, 2018, 08:32 PM
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Hi guys! Today I dealt with a nasty headache most of the day. It was really unexplained and came out of the blue. Excedrin didn't even want to help the headache which is strange because it usually works.

Also my dad is on my last nerve since he keeps trying to get me to go back to the old NP I saw as a teen, he went to his doctor and mentioned my health issues to his NP who I saw in my teens and she told my father I need to come back to her and that she would write a Benzo script for me. For one I used to be a patient, for two I'm well over the age in which she can discus diagnosis's to my parents, and three my primary, a med student, a therapist, and two PA's have told me Benzo's are not the answer for my anxiety disorder; and besides Buspar seems to be working for it, so why would I need a control substance to help me, not to mention this NP is very judgmental and hung my Birth Control over my head until she did a women exam when I have PMDD and it it remains the only thing that helps. Not to mention she was super judgey during the exam.

I have a list of who I would see in the event my current doc ever leaves his practice and she isn't even on the list. That was entirely inappropriate of him to do. I am grown adult women who knows what she is doing with her health. Not to mention she is one of the three reasons I will not ever see a NP.

I am ready for tomorrow and hanging out with M and to have morning coffee with R and talk about becoming roommates which she's mentioned a few times to me. That has got to be better than living with the parents and being bombarded by my father in that my current doc is stupid. Um no he's figured out my issues, got me on a cocktail that works, and who noticed something was wrong with my heart and made me see someone that could help. Best of all his provider has a triggering name for me, so the last thing I want to do is make the PTSD worse.

Hugs to everyone
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