[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I admire you for making so much time for your nieces.

My nieces/nephews are older now, in their 20's and 30's. I LOVE seeing them! I don't know as I would see as much of them now, if I had not spent time with them when they were younger.

I am glad to read life is treating you well.
Is the newest heart medication helping you? I hope so!


WC

I love my girls and both Uncle and Aunt were pretty good about taking me to do fun things on the weekends(usually things my parents hated) since they much younger than the parents and they liked mini golf; or at least pretended for my sake, and besides I still like doing things like mini golf, laser tag, and the zoo. Not to mention the girls see my as their confidant and that is how my Aunt was with me growing up, it's nice to see the cycle being repeated.

I am sure your nieces and nephews love seeing you too; I imagine those memories make them happy.

Life is busy but I'm loving every second of it; I'm ready for classes to resume; but I'm enjoying my little break from classes.

I think the Metoprolol 40 is doing something; I had M check my blood pressure and it's actually pretty close to normal I think it was like 124/80 so only the top number was slightly elevated which is making me happy; my pulse rate is still around 115; but that's low compared to some of the numbers I have seen; I'm not sure how my Cardiologist is going to feel about the 115; but you know I don't really notice anything with this medication; so I'm going to call it a win for now.

I'm sorry you are doing so badly and are hurting and that you are having medication difficulties. You are always in my thoughts.

[TheSeaCat]

Hello everyone well it's Monday my favorite day of the week not! Okay today wasn't so bad; it's tomorrow that is going to suck since I get to see the dentist and get a wisdom tooth pulled; granted the pain has kind of gone away so I am half tempted to cancel that appointment; granted if I do then the pain is probably going to come back with a vengeance. I just hate seeing the dentist; granted he's a new one so I might really like him. I also see the Cardiologist on Wednesday to see how I am doing on the medication; I think we've gotten very close with this dosage; my pulse rate would still scare anyone not a Cardiologist but I'm okay with the numbers. I hope he is too granted it will be he and his girlfriend on Wednesday since apparently I'm very interesting at least to her and apparently I am a rare bread of heart condition. Haha

Work was really good today; my oldest niece was sick so she had to see one of the PA's; not M or R since she didn't want to make things awkward with my relationship with them; which really wouldn't have bothered me. She liked who she saw so that's what matters and he was really good with her so that makes me proud as a boss. I also promised her we would go shopping after I got off; so instead of going to the gym I took the little one to Target and found myself a new swimsuit for the summer since I usually take the girls to a local Water Park and Amusement Park, I also got to get a smaller size compared to my gym swimsuit so I'm happy about that and my dress pants are fitting a little looser; so I might be dropping a size! I hope so.

After shopping with my girl I went home and did some yoga since I do have a mat at home; I made a Grilled Chicken Salad for dinner and took a shower; I also did lunch with M today; I really really like him and it's nice getting out of the office; granted our boss did catch up making out in his Jeep; we were off the clock so she couldn't really do anything besides give us a look. Hey it's not like it was the supply closet like he suggested.

Doc and nurse are adjusting wonderful and they are so happy to be away from that place and are glad to have bosses that actually know how to manage; granted I'm still learning but Doc has said I'm better than the last Practice Manager he had. They go for EMR training tomorrow so M get's to be alone for the first time in a week and I got to the evil dentist a 4.

Hugs to everyone

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Hugs, WC! You accomplished an incredible amount today. I know how difficult doing such seemingly basic tasks can be when depressed. Those who've never known depression have no idea. Such accomplishments should be rewarded. Do reward yourself. You did it! And when there are times you just can't do them, that's OK, too. It took me a long time to really learn that. I remember in my early days I'd almost punish myself for not achieving things. Punishing myself for being sick! Now I know that all of us who struggle with depression are much braver and harder working than we give ourselves credit for. Even if all we can do in a given day is get out of bed to put day clothes on.

Thank you, BirdDancer!

I really struggle with not being "useful" around the house on a daily basis. I certainly have days I must just rest. I feel like I have fallen very far behind because of my depression, other illnesses and pain. I just cannot keep up.

In addition to H, I have my mom living with us. Even when H is working or away on business, I still have someone else to consider, still get meals, etc.

So it's rare I can relax and have some truly "alone" time. I usually get that for about three hours on Sunday afternoon.

There are many days I'd give almost anything for a day alone.

I am up, no matter how I am feeling, to get breakfast for whomever is at home. I take it from there. If I can push to do more, I do my best to do so. If not, I take a short break and hope to find some energy, somehow.

I am currently angst-ridden about all that has fallen by the wayside.
I have tried to relax and tried to believe I would get to things another day, but I have not caught up! I have let too much pile up on me.

Thanks so much for your very kinds words and your encouragement!

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by TheSeaCat

I love my girls and both Uncle and Aunt were pretty good about taking me to do fun things on the weekends(usually things my parents hated) since they much younger than the parents and they liked mini golf; or at least pretended for my sake, and besides I still like doing things like mini golf, laser tag, and the zoo. Not to mention the girls see my as their confidant and that is how my Aunt was with me growing up, it's nice to see the cycle being repeated.

I am sure your nieces and nephews love seeing you too; I imagine those memories make them happy.

Life is busy but I'm loving every second of it; I'm ready for classes to resume; but I'm enjoying my little break from classes.

I think the Metoprolol 40 is doing something; I had M check my blood pressure and it's actually pretty close to normal I think it was like 124/80 so only the top number was slightly elevated which is making me happy; my pulse rate is still around 115; but that's low compared to some of the numbers I have seen; I'm not sure how my Cardiologist is going to feel about the 115; but you know I don't really notice anything with this medication; so I'm going to call it a win for now.

I'm sorry you are doing so badly and are hurting and that you are having medication difficulties. You are always in my thoughts.

Thank you!
I just need to hang in and hope things will get better.
I am glad things are going so well for you!

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I wont be on the board until a week from today. Hugs to all!!

I hope you enjoy your trip and you have LOTS OF FUN!


WC

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I've been reading this thread and not posting when I have meant to. It's been a wild few weeks. First the holidays and then last week my cousin's husband tragically died. I had never met him but my heart is broken for his wife and kids. That sadness is hard to let go of because the situation is so sad. Then we went out of town with my sister's family for a Christmas present and then I've been tired from that.

Today was therapy and returning items. I had one Christmas gift to return and a new winter coat that the zipper broke when it was washed the first time. I ordered coats to replace it but they were all too small or too large. I'm in this in-between place for coats and shirt sizes. Now that the holidays are over hopefully I can lose a few more pounds so things fit better. And for now I'm not buying a winter coat. I've bought 6 (mail order) and none worked except the one that was poor quality. So I give.

I hope everyone has a peaceful evening and good day tomorrow.

[Blue_Bird]

God I'm so hungry on Seroquel. I went from hardly ever having an appetite and always getting uncomfortably full extremely fast to my stomach growling all the time cause I'm always hungry now. I was trying to get by on a nutri grain bar this morning which isn't much of a breakfast, but I started getting dizzy so I had to eat again.

I mean, I guess I'm okay with it because I'm sleeping now and feel so much better than I have in several months, it's just kind of annoying, especially with trying to recover from an ED.

Hi TheSeaCat! I'm glad the Metoprolol is helping, even if a bit. I used to take that medication for tachycardia and it helped me, too. No negative side effects that I remember. I'm glad you're working hard at taking care of your heart health.

[Gabyunbound]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Oh dear, I am sorry it did not go well.

I have a sibling who has to have things her way. When I either express a different viewpoint and/or just say "no," she gets VERY angry and does ban family from her house when she is not pleased. She also refuses to talk to the person(s) she is angry with. It can take her years to get over it. Crossing her leads to banishment from her world, including my niece and nephew. It's sad that she feels she must respond in this manner. Luckily, I have other siblings and lots of nieces and nephews. It's tough, often impossible, to deal with people who conduct themselves in this way.

Your brother has not yet proven he'll banish you from his life/family. I'd take advantage of this, sending him a message, via a card or another method, telling him of how much I do appreciate/love him and his family and how I don't want differences in opinions to get in the way of our friendship... or something similar. Just a thought. In these situations, it's important our communications come from the heart, which can be difficult when we are emotionally heated and/or the other person is emotionally heated. We all, often, want to go into a self-protective mode and understandably so!

I hope he will not withdraw his love and his support.

I hope things get better with a little time. It's obviously important for you to continue on with your relationships within the family.

Thinking of you.

WC

WC

Excellent advice, WC. He called today -about my mother's estate planning and was calm- and said he sent me an email about this because he won't be able to make it to the attorney's appointment with my mom (I'm going). I'll take advantage of that email to tell him what you have advised here and then some. Thank you so much.

I'm so so sorry you're going through such a rough time. I admire you (well, I always admire you) for pushing through no matter the circumstances. I know what it's like to have crushing chronic pain on top of everything else, and it makes everything more difficult. I so hope things get better for you!

My brother and sister just called me and said they are on their way to the hospital. Apparently my dad called my nephew a while ago and asked him to take him there. At this moment, all my siblings know is that my nephew said that Dad was extremely shaken up and breathing heavily. My siblings will call me when they find out what might be wrong with Dad. It is very scary! I can only speculate at this time. It could be something very bad/dangerous or even just a severe panic attack. I'm very nervous right now. Luckily I see my psychiatrist in a couple hours. No matter what it is, I certainly hope that my siblings also super emphasize some of our major concerns about Dad's drinking and mental health. They'll call me when they know more. There is no sense in me going there at this time. I live a good hour away and would need my husband to take me.

I just took a prn Ativan. I've got to stay calm. Hubby wonders if Dad was trying to cut down on the drinking. I don't know, but people must realize that that can be dangerous in cases of abuse/addiction. I know.

Possible trigger:

I can't keep doing this. I want to be done with everything.

Please stay safe, spikes! Tell someone you know that you need help now.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

I've been reading this thread and not posting when I have meant to. It's been a wild few weeks. First the holidays and then last week my cousin's husband tragically died. I had never met him but my heart is broken for his wife and kids. That sadness is hard to let go of because the situation is so sad. Then we went out of town with my sister's family for a Christmas present and then I've been tired from that.

Today was therapy and returning items. I had one Christmas gift to return and a new winter coat that the zipper broke when it was washed the first time. I ordered coats to replace it but they were all too small or too large. I'm in this in-between place for coats and shirt sizes. Now that the holidays are over hopefully I can lose a few more pounds so things fit better. And for now I'm not buying a winter coat. I've bought 6 (mail order) and none worked except the one that was poor quality. So I give.

I hope everyone has a peaceful evening and good day tomorrow.

I am sorry for your loss. Does sound tragic.

I have a difficult time finding coats that fit, too. It gets old, fast.

I have missed you. How is Charlie doing?
Glad you are back!

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Gabyunbound

Excellent advice, WC. He called today -about my mother's estate planning and was calm- and said he sent me an email about this because he won't be able to make it to the attorney's appointment with my mom (I'm going). I'll take advantage of that email to tell him what you have advised here and then some. Thank you so much.

I'm so so sorry you're going through such a rough time. I admire you (well, I always admire you) for pushing through no matter the circumstances. I know what it's like to have crushing chronic pain on top of everything else, and it makes everything more difficult. I so hope things get better for you!

Thank you so much, Gabyunbound.
I hope everything works out with your brother.

WC

[Scooter9]

My son left today after his visit for the holidays. It was too short and I hardly had time with him. I'm glad for the little time I did get.

The sores in my mouth are much better since I reduced the modafinil. I thought it would take a while before I saw a change but it's only been a week and already things are better.

I'm still depressed though. Hoping it'll pass soon.

Take care of yourself spikes.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

My brother and sister just called me and said they are on their way to the hospital. Apparently my dad called my nephew a while ago and asked him to take him there. At this moment, all my siblings know is that my nephew said that Dad was extremely shaken up and breathing heavily. My siblings will call me when they find out what might be wrong with Dad. It is very scary! I can only speculate at this time. It could be something very bad/dangerous or even just a severe panic attack. I'm very nervous right now. Luckily I see my psychiatrist in a couple hours. No matter what it is, I certainly hope that my siblings also super emphasize some of our major concerns about Dad's drinking and mental health. They'll call me when they know more. There is no sense in me going there at this time. I live a good hour away and would need my husband to take me.

I just took a prn Ativan. I've got to stay calm. Hubby wonders if Dad was trying to cut down on the drinking. I don't know, but people must realize that that can be dangerous in cases of abuse/addiction. I know.

This must be very scary!
I hope things turn out okay.
Thinking of you.

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

God I'm so hungry on Seroquel. I went from hardly ever having an appetite and always getting uncomfortably full extremely fast to my stomach growling all the time cause I'm always hungry now. I was trying to get by on a nutri grain bar this morning which isn't much of a breakfast, but I started getting dizzy so I had to eat again.

I mean, I guess I'm okay with it because I'm sleeping now and feel so much better than I have in several months, it's just kind of annoying, especially with trying to recover from an ED.

Some of these meds mess with appetite and with blood sugar.
I was ravenous 24/7 on Abilify. I'd gained a lot of weight, while thinking the Abilify was helping a bit. I am glad to be off of it now.

I guess all we can do is to weigh the pros and cons of any med.
So glad you are getting some benefit from Seroquel.


WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by spikes

Possible trigger:

I can't keep doing this. I want to be done with everything.

Please keep yourself safe.
Have you been in touch with your therapist and/or your pdoc?

Is the rash still giving you grief?
If so, can your primary care help you until your dermatology appointment?

What else is going on, spikes?


WC

Getting over the cold, finally (down to the dredges). Good.
Still having foot pain. Not good.
Work has suddenly decided they won't have any part timers. VERY BAD. I really can't handle full time, but now it's that or nothing. It also throws a major wrench into the insurance picture, which I was on the verge of having under control. (I would be forced to use the work insurance, which would be a disaster.)

**** me.

The job search is now majorly accelerated.

I'm pretty po'd about this.

Edited to say, no, the more I think about it, I am REALLY, REALLY PO'd about this!!!!!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Scooter9

My son left today after his visit for the holidays. It was too short and I hardly had time with him. I'm glad for the little time I did get.

The sores in my mouth are much better since I reduced the modafinil. I thought it would take a while before I saw a change but it's only been a week and already things are better.

I'm still depressed though. Hoping it'll pass soon.

Take care of yourself spikes.

The holidays can get so very busy that it's difficult to spend quality time with anyone, including those we do not see as often.
I am glad to read your mouth sores are improving. Those sound very painful.


WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Getting over the cold, finally (down to the dredges). Good.
Still having foot pain. Not good.
Work has suddenly decided they won't have any part timers. VERY BAD. I really can't handle full time, but now it's that or nothing. It also throws a major wrench into the insurance picture, which I was on the verge of having under control. (I would be forced to use the work insurance, which would be a disaster.)

**** me.

The job search is now majorly accelerated.

I'm pretty po'd about this.

Geesh! Yet another obstacle? I don't know how you are holding up through it all. I'd be a bit of a basket case.

I hope your job search turns up something better than you have now.

Thinking of you.

WC

[Wander]

Hi again everyone!

Thinking of you all today. Hoping things are ok, or at least moving towards that. Reading your posts. We all go through so much due to this illness, yet you are all so strong. You amaze me and encourage me. Thank you.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Wander

Hi again everyone!

Thinking of you all today. Hoping things are ok, or at least moving towards that. Reading your posts. We all go through so much due to this illness, yet you are all so strong. You amaze me and encourage me. Thank you.

Welcome back, Wander!

I have read your thread am so sorry you have been through so much!

it is great to hear from you!
I hope to see you around!

WC

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Getting over the cold, finally (down to the dredges). Good.
Still having foot pain. Not good.
Work has suddenly decided they won't have any part timers. VERY BAD. I really can't handle full time, but now it's that or nothing. It also throws a major wrench into the insurance picture, which I was on the verge of having under control. (I would be forced to use the work insurance, which would be a disaster.)

**** me.

The job search is now majorly accelerated.

I'm pretty po'd about this.

Edited to say, no, the more I think about it, I am REALLY, REALLY PO'd about this!!!!!

I’ve been keeping up with everything you’re going through and send you warm wishes and positive vibes often.

I hope you find a job that is the perfect fit for you and get the insurance straightened out as well.

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Getting over the cold, finally (down to the dredges). Good.
Still having foot pain. Not good.
Work has suddenly decided they won't have any part timers. VERY BAD. I really can't handle full time, but now it's that or nothing. It also throws a major wrench into the insurance picture, which I was on the verge of having under control. (I would be forced to use the work insurance, which would be a disaster.)

**** me.

The job search is now majorly accelerated.

I'm pretty po'd about this.

Edited to say, no, the more I think about it, I am REALLY, REALLY PO'd about this!!!!!

I'm sorry Innerzone that sounds horrible; I wish you luck with the job search