[Wild Coyote]

Hey Bizi, Good luck with your med changes.

[bizi]

So I talked with my sponsor today: Carol
I told her of my struggles and was honest about my drinking still.
And how I needed to come up with another activity to do instead of stop by fat pats for a couple of beers after work. I like it, it is a decompress time for myself....I sit have a couple of drinks and surf facebook and enjoy myself. This takes about half an hour.

I got my blood drawn this morning for baseline, took 2 sticks, ouch!
Need to pick up my meds from the pharmacy tomorrow and maybe fill a pill box. I think that is a good idea until my meds are settled and the new ones are routine..

Last night...I was able to get to sleep but woke up later and could not get back to sleep....
sigh
Sleep issues suck.
I am working tomorrow...5 clients, need to make time for a lunch somehow, maybe go somewhere like burger king! Maybe have me a whopper!
.
Tomorrow night we are seeing a play which should be good.
Have not seen a play in a while now.
We used to go to them regularly...I would like to go more often.
I am off on sunday....so that is good.
It has been raining off and on so the grass is really plush and constantly needs mowing.
Paul, our yard guy has a hard time keeping up with everybody.
Our yard is growing tassels!
Hubby just called for Downton Abby.
We are finishing up season five soon.
Have really enjoyed rewatching the series.
Well I had better sign off.
Thank you for reading!
bizi

[bizi]

I think the switch form lamictal to lithium is an easy switch. I think the switch from geodon to vraylar will be difficult....will see.


My addictions just keep getting worse.
my picking is terrible. have 3 fingers out of commission.

My weight is 194 yesterday...sigh

Good news is that I am sleeping better.

From my lab work ...my calcium is elevated again.
10.5
In january, When I was taking 1400 mg of calcium it was 10.3 so she told me to take 500mg.
WEll I cut it in half because I have a history of osteopenia.
Then a month on the lower dose had blood work done and it had dropped down to normal.
6 months later, So at 700mg it is back up again.
Wonder why?
I did not take any calcium last night...don't want to have a heart attack!
They faxed the lab results to my primary doc for her to evaluate and treat.
I don't like having any thing out of whack.
Thank you for reading.
bizi

[BeyondtheRainbow]

How are you doing Bizi?

[bizi]

@BeyondtheRainbow
Thank you for thinking of me.
I am frustrated.
My sleeping has been terrible. Last night I think I got in 3 hours.
Since I drink she discontinued the klonipin for sleep and I have been a mess since then. Some good sleep mostly not.
I tried seroquel, trazadone, unisom, melatonin, visteril/atarax.


The change from lamictal to llithium has been seamless.
300mg in am and 600mg at night. Tonight was the first full dose then blood work on thursday. she wants to keep me on 100mg of lamictal too.
When we switch from geodon to vraylar....that will be a more difficult switch. I don't know when she wants to do this.

My routine blood work last feb came back with an elevated blood serum calcium level. At that time I was taking 1400mg of calcium.
I cut the calcium back and then retested one month later and it was back within normal limits. Though, just last week I had labs drawn for baseline results and the calcium was even higher this time. So they told me to hold all calcium suppliments. I asked about hyperparathyroidism and they will run the test when we recheck in a month. I want to be able to take the calcium supplements because I have a history of osteopenia.
So we shall see.

Unstable mood/bipolar/OCD=
increased drinking, eating, computer, picking.
I am hoping for better control with the med changes in time and have more control over my addictions.

Thanks for asking.
bizi

[Nammu]

Have you ever considered meds that make you sick if you drink?

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I'm sorry going off Klonopin is so hard. I started tapering from 2 mg last August or Sept. but so far only have made is down .25 mg because by the time I was ready for another reduction my father had his stroke and by the time I was done grieving more instensely we were into the time of year I'm most at risk for mania. I think I'll probably go down .25 more either this month or next.

The thing that helped me the most with my little cut (but mostly with keeping that reduction and not using PRN klonopin at all since starting to cut the Klonopin) has been gabapentin. I was on a smaller dose (400 mg) and have gone up to 1200 mg plus 100-200 mg PRN and it really works for anxiety and sleep. If you haven't tried it it might be worth a shot.

I agree with Nammu, have you tried one of the anti-drinking meds or have you thought about an inpatient detox? I know nothing about either but just they are options I guess.

Just know I'm thinking of you and praying for you.

[bizi]

Thank you for reading my thread and for your support.

My pdoc offered me inpatient rehab and others have suggested this....which I resented because I am not that bad of an alcoholic.
I have a respectable business and don't miss work except when I can't sleep and miss a couple of clients that I have to make up.

Alcohol interferes with my ability to be healthy.
There are too many empty calories.
I know how to lose weight....I just can't seem to do what it takes.
Would like to think that I could go to the gym and walk on the tred mill, last time I was there I could hardly walk at all.
The truth of the matter is that I am obese and out of shape.
What is it going to take for me to wake up and face the facts.

I was alcohol free for lent. That was for 6 weeks but I did it. I am sure that I lost weight during that time. Being this overweight is unhealthy.
Drinking alcohol is unhealthy, being sedentary is unhealthy.
I am embarrassed by my weight and what I have become.
My poor body....4 years ago I was 137, last week I weighed 195.
My scrubs are so tight. I look terrible and so unprofessional.

sigh
I am not even trying to healthy...why am I not trying?????
sigh
bizi

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I'm sorry if I offended you. The reason I suggested IP wasn't that I think you are "that bad" but because there would be consistent support from others going through it too. You have tried so hard and so many different things and you struggle. I just wish there were something that could make it easier for you. I really didn't mean to insult you. I think you do an amazing job just to have bipolar and have your business and manage that so well. Having a whole extra battle can't help anything and I wish that could be taken from you.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

I'm sorry if I offended you. The reason I suggested IP wasn't that I think you are "that bad" but because there would be consistent support from others going through it too. You have tried so hard and so many different things and you struggle. I just wish there were something that could make it easier for you. I really didn't mean to insult you. I think you do an amazing job just to have bipolar and have your business and manage that so well. Having a whole extra battle can't help anything and I wish that could be taken from you.

no am sorry did not mean to offend you with what I said.I appreciate your support, really I do. I know that you are trying to be helpful...know that I appreciate you and your attention.
I did not mention the antibuse medication...have been toying with the idea.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Have you ever considered meds that make you sick if you drink?

I will look into this. thanks for the reminder.
bizi

[~Christina]

Thinking of you Bizi

Originally Posted by bizi

Would like to think that I could go to the gym and walk on the tred mill, last time I was there I could hardly walk at all.
The truth of the matter is that I am obese and out of shape.

What about trying an exercise bike, namely a recumbent bike? You don't have to support your body weight with your legs because the chair already does that for you, and that can make getting exercise a little easier. You're also leaning back on a recumbent bike and not forced to sit upright like you would on a traditional exercise bike (which can tire out the abs quickly). On top of that, you can use the bike while texting on your phone etc to distract you. Or watch videos on YouTube. That will pass time quickly and before you know it, you'll have gotten in a lot of exercise.

[bizi]

Thanks for your support ladies.
I belong to planet fitness...already...just need to decide to go again.
sigh
bizi

[bizi]

With a ton of meds:
80mg Geodon
100mg lamictal
20mg melatonin
(long acting and short acting)
100mg atarax/visteril
200mg seroquel
600mg of lithium

I could not sleep and had restless leg syndrom majorly so finally got up and out ear plugs in, hubby has been snoring and got up to take 3mg of klonipin. I needed to sleep. Which I did finally and slept turned off the alarm and went back to sleep until hubby came to check on me at almost 10.
I wonder which med gave me the restless leg crap????
The seroquel gave me an elevated heart rate...don't know how fast but it was noticeable.
Called clients to rearrange schedule.
I am afraid that was going to have to be admitted to a pysch ward in order to get me stabilized...Want to avoid that at all costs....
bizi

[bizi]

We were away over the weekend. Traveled to pensacola beach to celebrate our 23 wedding anniversary. We ate and drank too much and I did not sleep and had restless legs. I think I am having side effects from the lithium: Swelling of my hands and ankles, diarrhea. I am supposed to drink a lot of water which I have not been doing that. Wonder if I drank more if that would help with the swelling?
sigh
bizi who is very tired and onto my 3rd cup of coffee.

Originally Posted by bizi

We were away over the weekend. Traveled to pensacola beach to celebrate our 23 wedding anniversary. We ate and drank too much and I did not sleep and had restless legs. I think I am having side effects from the lithium: Swelling of my hands and ankles, diarrhea. I am supposed to drink a lot of water which I have not been doing that. Wonder if I drank more if that would help with the swelling?
sigh
bizi who is very tired and onto my 3rd cup of coffee.

Sorry to hear you're experiencing those side effects. I think you should tell your pdoc about the swelling and diarrhea. I could be wrong, but I'm reading that diarrhea could be an early sign of lithium toxicity. How long have you been on lithium? You definitely need to drink a lot of water on lithium.

Congratulations on your anniversary, bizi!

Like bluebicycle said, you definitely need to drink a lot of water on lithium. Not being well-hydrated would be compounded by drinking, as it is dehydrating. Give your pdoc a call to figure out what's what so it doesn't potentially get worse, ok?

[Nammu]

Alcohol and lithium is a bad combo. As inter zone pointed out alcohol is dehydration, that leads to toxicity. The medicine is not bad the drinking of alcohol is bad. Don't give up on the meds til you give it a fair change.

[bizi]

I just had my lithium level drawn and it is fine.
I definitely need to drink more water. I called the pdocs office and reported the side effects. She did not comment about the side effects...only that she thinks I need treatment because I don't stop drinking.
I had less than 2 beers tonight after work. Will try to stop after that.
I really hope that I can sleep tonight.
bizi

[bizi]

I slept well the past 2 nights, only drinking 2 beers. Hoping that I continue to sleep well...I see dr. orazio next week....not looking forward to that. She thinks I need to go into treatment for alcohol addiction.
sigh


Just got back from dinner with my girl friend melissa. On Friday, She is leaving for a 100mile walk/pilgrimage thru portugal and spain....by her self!
I told her she was very brave.

I wear ear plugs at night now and they make my ears itch and my right ear is sore. This way I don't hear Jeff breath/snore.

I pulled my back a few days ago....still hurts but I think it is a bit better today.
bizi

[fern46]

I'm sorry about your back. That sounds painful and I hope it resolves soon.

I'm mostly a lurker in your thread, but I love your energy and attitude toward life. I replied because I am wondering if treatment for addiction would really be all that bad for you. You say you're only having two beers. It is good that you are able to reduce it, but why do you need those two? Two is so close to zero... I think treatment helps to address some of the thinking patterns that lead you to drink. Addressing some of the self limiting and validating beliefs is necessary if you truly want to quit. I think you have the strength needed to stop if you're willing.

[bizi]

Good morning fern and thank you for your post.
I don't want to quit. I like my 2 beers they are sour ones. And I like stopping off at fat pats to have them after work.
bizi

[fern46]

My bad! I knew you liked going there, but I mistakenly thought you were trying to quit.

[bizi]

I think 2 is the magic number.
My AA sponsor is letting me go....
Although we are going to a concert tomorrow night: woodstock 50th anniversary concert.
Carol is 20 years my senior so this is her music.
Should be fun.
I will be sad to lose her support.
bizi