[ruesia]

I was newly diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I have always struggled with deep depressions and then periods of extreme anxiety and risky behaviors. I have reacted really badly to standard antidepressants, so this diagnosis does make sense. I am now on Wellbutrin, which is obviously not a traditional treatment for BP but it seems to be helping with the depression side of things, which is my biggest issue right now.

I guess I am just looking for input, coping strategies, etc. I work full-time as a counselor and this obviously hits close to home. I feel like I have always been so concerned with my clients I never really thought much about myself. After all, we are not supposed to self-diagnose, right?

Anyhow, I am kind of struggling right now. I see a therapist and am, as I said, on medication. Considering taking a mood stabilizer. Unfortunately, my work has started to be impacted by this and my relationships have always been impacted.

Just a bit lost, I guess.

[Victoria'smom]

Welcome, I'm glad you have the right dx now. Hopefully the lows may not be so low now.

[Guiness187055]

I am on wellbutrin too. It does help with the depressive side of things. Mood stabilizers like lamictal seem to work the best for me and keep me in check.

[sarahsweets]

I do not know if this is fact or even if I read it somewhere but my understanding is that traditional antidepressants like SSRI's arent so good for bipolar. I am on Cymbalata which is an SNRI which works great.

hi, ruesia (it's good to see a new face here)

what coping methods do you have at the moment?. have you got anything that currently works for you

what are your interests?

how are you taking your diagnoses?

[ruesia]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

hi, ruesia (it's good to see a new face here)

what coping methods do you have at the moment?. have you got anything that currently works for you

what are your interests?

how are you taking your diagnoses?

Hi there and thank you! Right now my best coping strategy is being active. I find when I'm outside (hiking, riding my horses, etc.) my symptoms are alleviated. Of course, in the winter, that becomes a bit difficult so I have been trying meditation. I'll admit, I'm not quite patient enough for this, but I am giving it a go.

I've been accused of 'acting bipolar' many times in my life, so on one hand, I feel some guilt at not pushing for more answers earlier on. I know that this dx has definitely impacted my personal relationships negatively (specifically the manic episodes).

On the other hand, having this dx is validating. The depression was obvious, and is really the only thing I've treated. But no one ever identified those moments of mania. I become incredibly focused and obsessed with tasks, which I think has always been interpreted as just a go-getter. But I went about things with unnecessary risk or blindly pushing through something or being incredibly aggressive about doing something *now*. Looking back, and using a DBT workbook, I have been able to really see how those behaviors that were heralded as 'highly motivated' were actually quite destructive on a personal level and behind the scenes.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry, ruesia I'm glad you've got diagnosed and that you're getting the help you need and deserve. Bipolar is certainly not easy to deal with, but from what you wrote it sounds like you're doing everything you can to cope with it. So I'd say you're managing it pretty well. Be proud of yourself for that! Definitely listen to what your therapist says. I'm glad your meds are helping as well. Meditation is a great solution as well. I hope you'll feel better soon. Please don't give up. Things can and will get better. Do you have a support system IRL? Any friends or family members that could help you.? Try to reach out to them if you can. Don't be afraid to ask for help, as I'm sure many people here will be glad to help you in this journey. I hope writing here helps a bit. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you

[ruesia]

Thanks so much MickeyCheeky. I appreciate your kind words. Unfortunately, I don't live near any family so my support system IRL is pretty limited. I do have a boyfriend but I don't bring up how I'm feeling a lot because, honestly, it can swing dramatically sometimes and he just gets lost in it. I've had to teach myself to ask "Is this going to matter in 10 minutes? 10 hours? 10 months?" to determine if I'm overreacting to things.

I really struggle with obsessions. Is this normal? I become obsessed with concepts. Usually negative ones. Really small, insignificant things become these catastrophes. Particularly when I'm feeling more manic. I get hung up on ideas. Perseverate on them. And I struggle with paranoia in that respect too.

Now, granted, in discussions with my therapist we have uncovered quite a significant amount of insecurities that are driving these feelings, so I am hoping that may just be unrelated, but sometimes I know that how I'm acting is unreasonable but its like my body is on auto-pilot and I just can't stop myself from reacting to the trigger, whether its my boyfriend forgot to take out the trash, a scratch on my car, someone at work reprimanding me, etc.

Anyone else feel this way?

[pirilin]

Hello and welcome.

My first shrink was a firm believer in Adderall for bipolar 1.
I took so little, because of internet "medical" advise, that I
was hurting every four hours.

My 2nd and actual shrink, denied my Adderall request.
She thinks it will make me manic, even if she changed my diagnosis to bipolar 2.

I did away with my mood stabilizer, and became the person I was before.
Very aware and full of life. With a lot of desire for my "manic" ways.
I shop. I gamble. I take unnecessary risks.
I was missing that. For three long years in a deep depression.

I'd rather be me than an afraid zombie. Suffering minute after minute.
I don't blame the 'net "doctors". Nobody forced me to believe in them.
Or the shrinks.

The question is; were you happy the way you were without meds?.
I was. And I am again. Thanks to been prescrition meds free. Almost.
I take, forced by my wife, .5mg of clonazepan at night.

And three hydroxicuts during the day. Wonderful drug.
Plus a ton of Cuban coffee.

No more depression for me. I'd rather land in jail manic, than in a sanatorium depressed.
A matter of priorities.
But YOU are YOU. Not me.
Follow your heart.

Good luck.

Cheers.

[Wander]

My bipolar was missed for years because I usually had severe dysphoric mania instead of the classic euphoria. However, when I had the euphoria I, and everyone else, thought it was just my upbeat personality and a bit of craziness. Also I had self-destructive behaviour like you and people just blamed me for a lack of responsibility and will power. I too felt relieved when diagnosed, although I am confused about it now.

Welcome. Feel free to post if you need or want to.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

PsychEducation – Treating the Mood Spectrum is a good resource when starting out. It's written by a pdoc who specializes in bipolar and is really helpful.

Originally Posted by ruesia

Hi there and thank you! Right now my best coping strategy is being active. I find when I'm outside (hiking, riding my horses, etc.) my symptoms are alleviated. Of course, in the winter, that becomes a bit difficult so I have been trying meditation. I'll admit, I'm not quite patient enough for this, but I am giving it a go.

I've been accused of 'acting bipolar' many times in my life, so on one hand, I feel some guilt at not pushing for more answers earlier on. I know that this dx has definitely impacted my personal relationships negatively (specifically the manic episodes).

On the other hand, having this dx is validating. The depression was obvious, and is really the only thing I've treated. But no one ever identified those moments of mania. I become incredibly focused and obsessed with tasks, which I think has always been interpreted as just a go-getter. But I went about things with unnecessary risk or blindly pushing through something or being incredibly aggressive about doing something *now*. Looking back, and using a DBT workbook, I have been able to really see how those behaviors that were heralded as 'highly motivated' were actually quite destructive on a personal level and behind the scenes.

I have always wanted to ride horses

my problem?

scared of heights... lol. it would be a bit difficult to ride a horse without actually getting on it to begin with.

I understand the relationship thing

I was never really a social butterfly, (even before diagnoses I liked to keep myself to myself), but now keeping hold of friends is a lot harder. their's so much in terms of stigma and miss understanding, and I think I'm a boring person anyway (not boring as in personality, I'm funny and love a good joke), boring as in.. my list of experiences is shorter than a child's

[ruesia]

Outside of one friend who doesn’t even live in this state I have no friends. Outside of my boyfriend. And even that is strained.

How do you deal with the mania? The impulsivity? When I get in this manic state I just have all these impulsive anxious thoughts. I want to get in my car and drive until the car runs out of gas. I want to do something impulsive like go to a club and meet a stranger. I get a lot of ideation too.

Is that something mood stabilizers might help with? I am not normally someone who does any of these things but when I feel manic, I feel like I have to do. React. Feel that thrill. Exist in a sea of chaos.