[Moose72]

Im home. Told a friend how much i love him Friday night. 2 hours of how much i love him via text. Yesterday i got the best sex of my life for the second time in a week from my usual partner; then today I told anothet friend how much I love him. Ive lost it! But Im having a great time losing it!!

Oh man, I am already regretting this job change big time and I haven't even started yet(!) Like crying-s--much. Today's fun was nearly 3 hours of MORE paperwork, this being the third(!) round. And supposedly final. (Better be!) Joys include surprise union (don't believe in, but forced to belong and pay), and mostly, new insurance with a **** company that will VERY likely cost me even more money. I'll have to cancel and (hopefully be able to) re-set all appointments and probably lose providers. Will have to call union (grr) and find out when that fiasco begins...

Sounds like catastrophizing I know, but I haven't ascertained any upside yet except much closer to home...

[cashart10]

Bird dancer,

I had a dream about you! You had made your homemade buns (although in the dream it looked more like pie). A few of my friends and I were at your house and you told me that it was prune filling and I tried to think of a way to get out of trying it without being rude as I am not a big fan of prunes. Instead however, I ate it anyway and it was so delicious. And, your husband was there. He was totally different than in real life based on what you have described. He was big (not fat at all, just bulky) with brown hair and was instead Hungarian with a very thick accent. He was sitting next to me at the table reading the paper. You were full of hospitality, cutting and serving each of my friends and me with the desert.

Crazy, huh??!!

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Oh man, I am already regretting this job change big time and I haven't even started yet(!) Like crying-s--much. Today's fun was nearly 3 hours of MORE paperwork, this being the third(!) round. And supposedly final. (Better be!) Joys include surprise union (don't believe in, but forced to belong and pay), and mostly, new insurance with a **** company that will VERY likely cost me even more money. I'll have to cancel and (hopefully be able to) re-set all appointments and probably lose providers. Will have to call union (grr) and find out when that fiasco begins...

Sounds like catastrophizing I know, but I haven't ascertained any upside yet except much closer to home...

Oh...I so hope it works out better than your expectations! I see what you mean when you wrote on my thread that you understood. It is damn hard to live in the moment! All my love to you and know I will be thinking of you!

[Daonnachd]

I started a painting to commemorate the drive I did with my son. I hope what I have in my mind reaches the canvas.

[TheSeaCat]

Hello everyone I hope everyone had a good Weekend. I most certainly did is it possible for one person to make stress go away? I honestly can't remember the last time I had this much fun with a guy. When C and I took our trip it was nightmarish this was honest perfection even the trip to see mom's family was nightmarish. This was so enjoyable and relaxing. I really like waking up next to him. It was so nice going to bed and waking up to him smiling at me with my morning hair and my not so pretty morning breath. Not to mention it was just such a nice getaway that was much needed for the both of us. Anyway anyone miss me?

Friday: We left work after lunch; M took a half day of seeing patients and I did what I needed to do along with get everything sent over to the painting company so they can get started on things this weekend. Then by lunch he and I left for our vacation. We got there around 4 with all the stops. My car gets so much better mileage; but then again with gas being as cheap as it is I guess either was fine. We got checked into the hotel and dropped our stuff of; quick fun fact I'm a serious overpacker when it comes to everything our hotel had Champagne and chocolate covered strawberries waiting for us which we of course saved for later since we had reservations for a dinner theatre and he even got me the vegetarian option since I'm pretty sure at one point I mentioned that it was very hard to eat that much food and I had a much easier time with the vegetarian option. I'm surprised he even remembered me mentioning that. I found the food to be much more enjoyable this time not to mention if I wanted meat I could always pick it off his plate. We didn't really do a lot Friday saw that dinner show and then went back to the hotel for the Champagne and delicious chocolate covered strawberries.

Saturday: It was so nice waking up cuddled up next to him it was just so lovely granted I did wake up to him Friday morning as well but still I love the feeling of waking up to him. This relationship just feels so different compared to all the others it's almost indescribable I love it when we are together we could just be chilling in a hotel bed laughing or talking and it honestly feels like the best thing ever. We had a spa appointment that morning for a couples massage which was rather nice and relaxing since the last two weeks have been rather testing for me; well at least my medication crisis which quickly resolved itself. Afterward we explored the city since it was a little to cold for go karts or outdoor mini golf but plenty warm enough for shopping and exploring. We also went to an indoor waterpark which it's always nice when you are able to swim in the middle of winter; our hotel had an indoor pool and hot tub which was really relaxing as well we also did some indoor go-karts and mini golf.

Sunday: The hotel had brunch which was really really good made to order omelettes after brunch we checked out of the hotel and did a few more things before leaving for home since we both have to work tomorrow and I have to see the Cardiologist since I ditched him last week and he keeps me on a very short leash so I cannot ditch him this week besides I need my cardiac pill since I will take the last dose tonight. So I will leave work a little early so I can see him and get a refill and probably another EKG. So much fun seeing doctor's on the regular. I hope he loosens up my leash and I can make it a month without needing to see him, my family doctor has put me on a three month leash; so maybe my Cardio could settle for a month follow ups. I guess I will know tomorrow also back to work; nice weekend but back to work.

Anyway I had a lovely weekend getaway with no stress and M is just the best person ever and it was just such a nice weekend getting away and it just being the two of us; granted R said my cat was a nightmare while I was gone constantly screaming at my bedroom door so I felt like such a bad pet mommy; I missed you all.

Hugs to everyone

[Wander]

Had 100mg of Seroquel instead of my usual 50mg as I’ve been hardly slipping into moderate hypomania and hardly sleeping. Don’t want to mess with the stability I amazingly achieved while IP. After getting over the drugged feeling I’m feeling back to normal but still happy and content. My body is in less pain too. Yey! Will take lower dose tonight. Think I’ve nipped it in the bud.

See pdoc tomorrow: need to discuss this, the acne that started with med adjustments and my high blood pressure that also started with med change. Curious to know what he’ll do as I’m finally stable and don’t want to mess with it.

[AspiringAuthor]

I have had overall a good and productive day, although not without bouts with anxiety. Looking forward to tomorrow.

Originally Posted by cashart10

Bird dancer,

I had a dream about you! You had made your homemade buns (although in the dream it looked more like pie). A few of my friends and I were at your house and you told me that it was prune filling and I tried to think of a way to get out of trying it without being rude as I am not a big fan of prunes. Instead however, I ate it anyway and it was so delicious. And, your husband was there. He was totally different than in real life based on what you have described. He was big (not fat at all, just bulky) with brown hair and was instead Hungarian with a very thick accent. He was sitting next to me at the table reading the paper. You were full of hospitality, cutting and serving each of my friends and me with the desert.

Crazy, huh??!!

That's cool that you dreamed of me, cashart! I'm sure it would be fun to have you and others from here over for coffee and sweets.

The prune filling (povidla in Czech, lekvar in Hungarian) is an acquired taste. Hubby says it's his favorite, that's the only reason I made some with it. Actually, we ate the last of the fresh buchty this morning. I froze the rest.

My husband is a tall man with dirty blond hair. He's 60 to my 47, and yet he has no gray hair on his head (but does on his chest). I wish I didn't have any gray hair on my head. I've had to get it colored for some years now. He does have a beer belly, but the rest of him is trim. I'd like to get his beer belly reduced. I'd like to lose about 20 lbs, myself. He always seems to want to "diet" via me dieting. He calls me the "Director of Nutrition", which I'm often delinquent about. That doesn't mean he doesn't do lots and lots for me, though. He's an angel.

[beauflow]

I woke up, started cleaning.
Laundry, kitchen, bathroom, floors (vacuum and mopped) done.. still need to tidy up coffee table but What to do now? Apartment is small but still a lot after not doing much the Last few days, or week with home life...
What a difference it can make to clean up a bit.

[Under*Over]

Ready for a fairly busy day!

[Wander]

Been sleeping much better. The large dose of Seroquel seemed to reset my brain. Back to normal dose. Last night, after ten days out of hospital for an over four month mixed state with psychosis, I finally wept. I was hurting and traumatised. My partner wonderfully listened and encouraged me. Since leaving hospital I have been flat out busy. Mostly not deliberately, just trying to get things done before university begins next week. Anyway, I think the minor breakdown was necessary. Once I had done talking I felt lighter, and now, the next morning, I feel fine. It’s so wonderful to have normal emotional reactions.

Off to see pdoc today and T tomorrow. Can’t wait to get their feedback on several things. I feel so much gratitude for everything in my life. Content and calm. Stability is amazing. Never felt this way so I’m enjoying every moment.

[wildflowerchild25]

Had a wonderful day with RS today! My son had school today but me and RS both had off for Presidents’ Day so we spent the day together.he came over last night and spent the night. Then we took my son to the bus stop in the morning. We went and grabbed bagels for breakfast and watched a couple of things on Netflix that we can’t watch with my son around lol. Ken jeong’s standup special and the 40 year old virgin. Then we went down the shore to his favorite bbq joint. It was delicious! Fried pickles, fried onions, and a bbq pulled chicken sandwich with honey Dijon bbq sauce. Soooooo good. It wasn’t nice enough to go down near the water but that’s ok. We came back and he helped me clean and vacuum out my car as my son had smushed crumb cakes all over the backseat. He also helped me carry in some cases of water which is hard for me right now with my back. He’s so sweet!

I really feel like we are a little family now. It’s only been three months but we’re already talking about possible marriage down the road and moving In together when the time is right. Not trying to rush things; it’s just like, I knew my husband was the one from the first time he asked me to be his girlfriend (we were 19, you didn’t count dates you just were boyfriend and girlfriend lol) and I just feel like RS is the one. I can’t describe it. It feels real. Like I know it won’t be all sunshine and roses forever but I feel like we could really make it through the hard times.

I’m not looking forward to going to work tomorrow. I’m scared I will fall asleep in class again. I seem to do it every single ****ing day. I don’t know why. I get plenty of sleep at night. CAffeine doesn’t seem to help. Although I might get a large coffee tomorrow and see if MAYBE it will work this time. I just don’t want my coworker to have another reason to talk about me. If she even is. I still don’t know for sure.

Might have a half day or a full snow day on Wednesday due to snow. I love days off don’t get me wrong but I’d rather have one in March because today was the last day off until spring break which is not until April 22 this year. Plus we don’t have snow days built into the calendar; we tack them on at the end of the year. Sucks.

[TheSeaCat]

Hello everyone and happy Monday also I'm jealous of those who had today off. I did not but it wasn't a bad day for me worked until 4 and then saw my Cardio at 4:30 which is about the time my nieces's babysitter called and told me the youngest was throwing her guts up; complaining of chest pain and shortness of breath; she has asthma but still I am really worried about her. I am also pissed at the babysitter for calling me at freaking 4 when this had been going on all day long; hello I work in a medical clinic I could have gotten her any time today but I have a doctor's appointment and it's already 4. So she got quite a butt chewing; she has an appointment to annoy doc in the morning assuming you know things don't get worse for her. I'm really protective of my girls and the thought that I could have done something earlier just really pisses me off. I hope it's just her asthma acting up and she doesn't need a Cardiologist or worse. She's only 8 which makes me worry. I also apparently speak fluent doctor so of course I get to be the one to be there during the appointment. Not to mention she's totally a mini me which makes me even more worried.

My Cardiologist appointment went very well; he still wants to see me back in two weeks go figure that. To afraid to let me off my leash. He wants to see one more set of good numbers before reducing me to monthly visits. My EKG was perfect; HR was 98 which my heart rate is still 98 now and my blood pressure was the lowest I have seen it in a long while. He was so ecstatic to see me have good numbers but he wants to make sure they are still that good two weeks from now; but my numbers are good on this medication to the point where he trusts it enough to give me a month refill on my medication. So progress I guess.

Hugs to everyone

[AspiringAuthor]

I have had a good day at work but stayed so late that did not have time to make the three calls to friends on the east coast that I planned to make. I guess when you are so busy it is a good thing. I will write to them to apologize - two of them had birthdays this past weekend, turning 46 and 48.

[jmariah001]

Starting marriage counseling later today. I don't have much hope that it will change anything. Haven't been happy for awhile now. My husband is verbally and emotionally abusive. I just want to cry. 16 years is enough for me. I don't know how to tell him it's over. I'm afraid he will hurt himself if I leave. That's one of the reasons I haven't left yet. My p-doc wants me to leave. She is worried for my safety. I don't think he would ever hit me. But his anger is scary at times. All IOP has done is open my eyes to how unhappy I am with my marriage. It seems like everyone in the group is having some sort of relationship issue. He is the reason I am in IOP. Otherwise I would of ended up IP. Sometimes I wonder if I should be IP. It would get me away from him for a while. What to do?

[BeyondtheRainbow]

My little cold turned into a nasty sore throat and aggravated asthma. I've spent the last days in bed trying to rest my way back to health. I may have to give in and go to doctor tomorrow or the next day But it's not that bad and the doctor is a long way (an hour) from my nice warm bed.

My sleep is all messed up and has been for a few weeks. Tonight I fell asleep at 10 even though I fought it. I woke at 11:30 and am wide awake. I knew that would happen if I fell asleep early.

Oh well. There's only up from this point.

[Pookyl]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

The prune filling (povidla in Czech, lekvar in Hungarian) is an acquired taste

I agree it’s an acquired taste. Blagh! My parents are from Europe and every Christmas my mum and aunts make hundreds of prune filled coffee cakes. Thankfully the other goodies make up for it.

[Guiness187055]

Originally Posted by Pookyl

I agree it’s an acquired taste. Blagh! My parents are from Europe and every Christmas my mum and aunts make hundreds of prune filled coffee cakes. Thankfully the other goodies make up for it.

I hate prunes with a passion

[AspiringAuthor]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

The prune filling (povidla in Czech, lekvar in Hungarian)

Interesting. "Povidla" in Russian is a generic term for any thick fruit filling (or spread for that matter) - my favorite growing up was plum povidla, a little acidic with intact thin plum skins and some pulp retaining its shape.

[VerMOZZica]

Today was not that great for me. I couldn`t get out of bed I finally got out of bed to eat at around 1 in the afternoon. I ate then went back to bed and stayed there until I got up to take a shower . It`s been like this lately I have a hard time getting out of bed. I have difficulty with getting motivated to do anything. It`s my depression I know.

[Wander]

I saw my pdoc an hour ago. He is pleased with my progress. As acne almost gone only issues were sleep and high blood pressure. He increased my nightly Seroquel to 75mg and recommended I see my general practitioner about BP. If needed there are meds I can take but I REALLY hope it doesn’t get to that. My pdoc said at least for now I must remain on Geodon (most likely cause) since it’s the first med that has ever stabilised me and crushed psychosis.

I also don’t want to increase Seroquel. On 50mg I tend to get 3-5 hours max so I see his point, and without it I just don’t sleep. Tried other meds. Nothing works. I just don’t want to put on weight. Haven’t really so far but in the past higher doses packed it on.

The good bit was the conversation we had about my psychosis and his experience of it, as well as mine of course. He is a great doctor who genuinely cares about me. He clearly went above and beyond to help me come back to reality and basically stay alive while IP. It strengthened our therapeutic bond. I am lucky to have him.

See my T tomorrow. I’m sure it will go well too.

[Pookyl]

Originally Posted by Wander

I saw my pdoc an hour ago. He is pleased with my progress. As acne almost gone only issues were sleep and high blood pressure. He increased my nightly Seroquel to 75mg and recommended I see my general practitioner about BP. If needed there are meds I can take but I REALLY hope it doesn’t get to that. My pdoc said at least for now I must remain on Geodon (most likely cause) since it’s the first med that has ever stabilised me and crushed psychosis.

I also don’t want to increase Seroquel. On 50mg I tend to get 3-5 hours max so I see his point, and without it I just don’t sleep. Tried other meds. Nothing works. I just don’t want to put on weight. Haven’t really so far but in the past higher doses packed it on.

The good bit was the conversation we had about my psychosis and his experience of it, as well as mine of course. He is a great doctor who genuinely cares about me. He clearly went above and beyond to help me come back to reality and basically stay alive while IP. It strengthened our therapeutic bond. I am lucky to have him.

See my T tomorrow. I’m sure it will go well too.

Try not to worry about Seroquel. It’s weight neutral for some including me.

[Nammu]

Mum liked the cake I made her. I made it last night after she went to bed. Spice with cream cheese frosting and M&M's for decorations. My oldest sister and BiL are coming for lunch today and we'll celebrate mums 91st birthday.

[hopeless2015]

Doing ok, I had Friday off and came back to work yesterday and found out about two **** ups I made..uggg. It turned out fine but ****!! Anyway work is busy and I like that, keep finding out about new things that I haven't been trained on but I love learning new things so it's all good.

Hugs to all