The director of the French language school reviewed my placement test and got back to me very quickly yesterday. I actually placed higher than I thought, despite mentioning that I'd prefer to be placed slightly lower than my responses may warrant. The main issue with that is that that level and all higher ones only have classes during the evening hours. Only the lower level has daytime classes. Going to the last session of the lowest level would be four sessions lower than the session she recommended. I guess I don't want that elementary of a level, but I really wanted something more to do during the daytime hours. Evening hours are so hard for me for a few reasons, most notably because I tend to drop out of things that regularly meet at night. It hasn't always been that way, though.

My husband is now discouraging me from taking the class. That makes me sad. I'm considering taking it anyway. I will meet with the instructor before that session starts to double confirm if the level placement is right. If it is, I'll perhaps push myself hard. There are 10 class meetings in that session. Even if I only made it to seven of the 10 it could be worth it. These are group classes. All other group French classes available (in all places) are at night. Private lessons are outrageously expensive, plus I'd kind of like being around multiple people. It would be good for me. French is important because we may be moving to France in the next few years. I'd like to be able to speak good French when we go. This school offers several levels and many other seminars and get togethers for French practice. To finish their highest level, it would require two years more of study. Arriving in France with poor French language skills would be too stressful for me. This school is the best value around. Summers are off, so it's not like I wouldn't get a break after the upcoming 10 class session. This is the last of the four sessions in that level.

Simple day for me today. I'm just doing light housework. Tomorrow night we go to a concert.

[Unrigged64072835]

Ugh, came down with a cold. I've been working on a personalized dressmaker model and I'm at a stopping point, so it's as good of a time to rest as any. Trying to plan for another summer camping trip and things for next month. Head hurts and I just want to eat and take a nap.

Hugs to all and double to those who are struggling.

Why on earth would your husband not want you to take the French lessons, BirdDancer? I hope you do take them, they sound like a great idea, and it's nice to be able to get out of the house to do something and also be around some people.

[yellow_fleurs]

BirdDancer I also hope you take the class! It never hurts to try something new and see if it's a good fit.

[yellow_fleurs]

Had acupuncture today. Went well and hopefully it helps. I feel irritable, but that is a normal monthly thing for me. Trying to keep it at bay and still be productive. Although the irritability is just it's own thing, not started by anything in particular, I am still trying to be aware of any external things that might make it worse so I can become more self aware. Also my ruminating got out of control the last couple of days. I try to stay out the of the mind "tornado" as my therapist calls it, but sometimes I get swept up. Trying to tackle the end of a never ending project today, fingers crossed.

Hi Innerzone and yellow_fleurs! My husband was all for me taking classes during the day, but he really worries that I'll drop out of evening classes, even though they're only once per week, but for 10 weeks in a row. It is very difficult for me to stick to anything in the evening. I have dropped out of about six classes in the past that met in the evenings. I've only succeeded at evening classes that were only for one to up to five weeks only, and usually only ones that didn't require a lot of mental/brain challenge. Language classes are comparitively stressful. I also have to take my evening meds late in such cases, which can affect me the next day. Basically, it's all about possibly wasting money, which we have little to spare.

I'm going to see what happens when I meet the instructor and observe the class.

Thanks for the encouragement! I need it.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by ElStevo

Hi there from Oz or Down Under,
I know what its like to go years with a provincial or inaccurate diagnosis. I went from 95-2006 with a depression diagnosis and managed to fly under the radar and hide my hypo-mania. Working in mental health as a nurse helped me hide it I guess. It was after my marriage breakdown and a second relationship breakdown that I was hospitalized, and once a consultant spent a decent amount of time with me, getting a complete history etc., that a diagnosis of bipolar 2 with anxiety and adjustment disorders was given. As such my medication was implemented with more effectiveness.
Reading your situation made me think that perhaps you have mixed aspects that haven't been fully explored yet and that senior professional advice is always advisable. Things change and we change as human beings, so we need to be aware of as much as possible and relate as much as possible to a treating doctor, in order to get the most appropriate and effective care possible.
Best wishes on your journey from a hot and sunny South Australia

Thanks! Part of it is that now my therapist/psychiatrist are saying it seems like I have OCD, too. I think that was muddling the picture, because it also got really bad for a time and convinced me I was like a monster, but none of us realized what was going on. I just question if it is mostly OCD mixed with a med reaction or actual bipolar. I will keep them informed and hopefully we will figure it out.

I am having serious doubts about this new job. There is SO much procedure! More that you're supposed to do in a shift than seems remotely possible (I was working with someone -- so there were TWO of us working "the day's work"), didn't even take my second break (she took neither break), and and at least one "essential" task didn't even happen. There seems like a LOT to memorize, which I suck at. Overwhelmed? OH YEAH.

We had to fill out these "training sheets", and it looks like I learned nothing at all. There's NO WAY all they had on it could have been accomplished. And certainly not with actually doing the job (and helping customers on top of it).

And I have 2 additional store areas I'm supposed to be learning.

It certainly sheds light on customer service issues when one goes in a store. I don't know what kind of super-human would be needed to do all they expect and really go the distance on the customer service front as well. I mean I *did* deal with customers (go me, lol!), but job tasks went undone. I only hope I don't "hear about it". I dread the day they think I can do any of this without shadowing someone. And I fear it will be unreasonably soon.

I'm so freaked out and overwhelmed. I totally see crying on the job when they expect me to do this on my own. So much pressure.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

I am having serious doubts about this new job. There is SO much procedure! More that you're supposed to do in a shift than seems remotely possible (I was working with someone -- so there were TWO of us working "the day's work"), didn't even take my second break (she took neither break), and and at least one "essential" task didn't even happen. There seems like a LOT to memorize, which I suck at. Overwhelmed? OH YEAH.

We had to fill out these "training sheets", and it looks like I learned nothing at all. There's NO WAY all they had on it could have been accomplished. And certainly not with actually doing the job (and helping customers on top of it).

And I have 2 additional store areas I'm supposed to be learning.

It certainly sheds light on customer service issues when one goes in a store. I don't know what kind of super-human would be needed to do all they expect and really go the distance on the customer service front as well. I mean I *did* deal with customers (go me, lol!), but job tasks went undone. I only hope I don't "hear about it". I dread the day they think I can do any of this without shadowing someone. And I fear it will be unreasonably soon.

I'm so freaked out and overwhelmed. I totally see crying on the job when they expect me to do this on my own. So much pressure.

This sounds really hard, I have been there with jobs where you don't even get a break and they expect you to be superhuman. It's a lot of stress. What about talking to the person you are being trained by and ask how long it took them to learn and what their expectations are? Perhaps you can discuss your progress at some point and how you are feeling. Also, even when you are on your own, hopefully it is a supportive team environment and you can still ask for help. Still, it sounds like a lot for anyone to handle. Take care of yourself, and maybe give yourself some extra self care to offset the stress.

[Under*Over]

Im feeling better today than I have been the last couple of days. I just find it really unsettling how vulnerable my mind can be to so many different terrifying states. Its incredible to me that I can fully believe something fairly crazy for one day, or feel deeply suicidal one day, and then the next day have those same ideas feel so foreign as to seem absolutely ridiculous

[Blueberrybook]

Warm wet weekend again. Been having a lot of light rain/mist/dense fog. It’s annoyed me because some days I couldn’t run at all or could only run 30 minutes. I really need to break this cycle of over exercise. Once our new health insurance kicks in March 1, I need to pick up the phone and call the CBT therapist I saw at the end of last year. I am fairly certain she will take the new insurance though I need to call the insurance company to verify first.

Did end up getting enough of my Adderall script on the crappy insurance to last until March 1. Since it was a partial refill, I only had to pay $66 for a 9 day supply instead of over $225 for a 30 day supply.

Went to a math competition for my daughter this morning; she won 2nd place. Spent most of the afternoon reading.

[Wander]

Last night I took my 25mg of Seroquel at 8 pm as I was exhausted I thought I would fall asleep quickly. Again I ended up getting up at 11pm and eating out my fridge. This has got to stop. Tonight I will take 50mg (pdoc has recommended up to 75mg) and see if I can get to sleep before the muchies set in. I have already gained 1kg (about 2.2 pounds). I am trying to lose weight.

To combat losing weight I went for a short swim after the 8 minute very hilly walk to the beach, then of course back home. Trying to find the balance between not overdoing it and losing weight. I also do yoga for 15 minutes most days. Still no weight loss, and I eat really well, even when binging, and I rarely drink alcohol.

My mood has been much lower, and I have been very irritable, wanting to punch things. My thoughts have turned negative too. I am concerned as I was going so well after my hospitalisation. I am thinking it is the down after the mixed mania. Hopefully it will pass soon. I simply cannot bear another episode. I start university in two days. It just cannot happen.

[liveforsummer]

Hmmm, a lot going on, at least for my little brain. I am overthinking things waaaaaay too much. Decision making is excruciating, its truly amazing I get as much done as I do. I was feeling positive and adventurous Wed and applied to a bunch of jobs, went for an interview Thurs and got hired today. Now I have 2 p/t jobs! Of course now I'm excited and totally stressing about balancing the two!

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by liveforsummer

Hmmm, a lot going on, at least for my little brain. I am overthinking things waaaaaay too much. Decision making is excruciating, its truly amazing I get as much done as I do. I was feeling positive and adventurous Wed and applied to a bunch of jobs, went for an interview Thurs and got hired today. Now I have 2 p/t jobs! Of course now I'm excited and totally stressing about balancing the two!

Congratulations on getting the job. Perhaps this extra stimulation will help your brain settle into a healthy pattern.

[liveforsummer]

Thanks Daonnachd!

Both jobs will keep me mobile and active which I think is a good thing for me. Feeling quite overwhelmed and excited and scared this evening. I actually just took half a .5mg clonazepam tab a minute ago (too scared to take the whole thing but that's typical of me). I've had them since Nov and never taken them. My pdoc strongly suggested I try one even if its a tiny crumb of one and to use them prn. Kinda feeling a bit weird right now though that could be all in my head anticipating it knocking me out.
Have a good evening

[Pookyl]

Doing ok except for one worrying thing - I’m BORED!! Sooo BORED.
This usually precedes manic episode. Bugger bugger bugger.

[TheSeaCat]

Hello everyone and happy Saturday. I had to work today which was oodles of fun listening to the sound of cabniets being tore out and new ones being installed, not to mention the regestration area is being gutted and changed to accomidate more staff and patients since new staff will be coming this summer, not to mention no one really likes the current layout so that is being changed as well as the exam room cabniets and the exam tables and seeting. The only thing that isn't being changed is everyone's office space since those spaces are usually customized.

I was able to catch up on reading policies, budgets and my personal favorite school work and also catch up with a nurse that I used to work with which was nice it's also nice to see what they think of everything and if they like their schedule, the provider the work with, managment since things like moral are important to me; anyway nurse said I am joy to have for a boss and she can tell that things run much smoother here and that everyone is just so happy and that the company actually cares about their employees. Which really warms my heart.

M decided to take an ER shift at one of the hospital's owned by the company since I had to work this weekend and he was so stinking tired when he came over for my homemade dinner. I brought him lunch and I could tell then that it was starting to wear at him. twelve vs sometimes nine hours really makes a difference on a person. He and I are still good; we just haven't had much time together this week what with the niece and work.

Tomorrow I am able to go to Sunday School and Church and then I get to deal with more renovation tomorrow and a lot of us are going in late tomorrow afternoon to help get everything reorganized so Monday can be smooth sailing like usual.

I would also like to remind everyone about the Working with MI Chat tomorrow night at 9 EST; so if are you are having an issue you would like to talk about I would love to see you all tomorrow night.

Also my niece is back to her normal self she went out with a group of friends to see the new dragon movie; so yesterday is already a distance memory for her. Nice that she bounced back so quickly granted it was a tiny incescion into the wrist.

Hugs to everyone

[AspiringAuthor]

Was in and out of depressed mood with some anxiety today. Suspect that it is Topamax that is making me depressed, which is consistent with the fact that by evening (I last took it in the morning) I feel better and am quite functional. So I won't take it at bedtime and will see in what mood I will wake up tomorrow.

Or, the meds, the side effects, the desired effects, the whole nine yards!

[~Christina]

Finally the rain stopped. Finally !!! We are still stuck at home , our driveway is so flooded it’s impossible to get out

Hopefully in a few days it will recede a little and hubby can take the tractor down and try to build it back up ( fingers crossed ) I need to get out to see my T Wednesday.

My dogs are thrilled they can go outside and not wind up soaked, I’m happy to.... got tired of drying them off lol

Thank you all for the Birthday wishes it really meant a lot

Everyone enjoy your Sunday

[Wander]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Finally the rain stopped. Finally !!! We are still stuck at home , our driveway is so flooded it’s impossible to get out

Hopefully in a few days it will recede a little and hubby can take the tractor down and try to build it back up ( fingers crossed ) I need to get out to see my T Wednesday.

My dogs are thrilled they can go outside and not wind up soaked, I’m happy to.... got tired of drying them off lol

Thank you all for the Birthday wishes it really meant a lot

Everyone enjoy your Sunday

Yey!!! The rain has ceased. What a massive relief. I am so happy for you and hope no more is on the way. Can your driveway be repaired at low cost?

[Wander]

Quick update. Today I have 'bounced back' mood and energy wise. I have needed recovery time due to Fibromyalgia, but considering I am doing great. I got seriously OCD and organised all my books by height, records in alphabetical order and everything on my two bookshelves are perfectly in place. I had rested. I think I was bored. Then I took lots of photos and edited them. Now my partner is calling me to come over his place. I will go. I am hypo sexual.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Wander

Yey!!! The rain has ceased. What a massive relief. I am so happy for you and hope no more is on the way. Can your driveway be repaired at low cost?

Thanks !!

My husband will just need time spent lots of time on the tractor to basically rebuild and allow it to dry out .. I live in a very rural setting there is no such thing as asphalt or even heavy gravel roads within about 2 miles .... Just what’s called crush and run , easily washes away.

So in times like this I miss living in a actual town lol but I prefer cows as neighbors as opposed to humans. Ha!

[Sunflower123]

I’ve been thinking about getting back into hobbies I’ve enjoyed in the past. At one time, I played 7 instruments but I took piano lessons the longest (10 years learning to play, theory and compose). I’ve let myself get rusty but I bet I could pick it right back up. I really enjoy the piano.

The second hobby is Tae Kwon Do which I have a green belt in. I’d like to see how far I can go. Wouldn’t a black belt be something? Makes a nice goal.

It would get me out of my head anyway. Doing well today (or right now). Rough day yesterday. Still cycling from the AD. Hopeful anyway.

Warm wishes to all for a peaceful Sunday.

[yellow_fleurs]

Well, I was totally unsuccessful on my project yesterday, but I'll try again today. My thoughts hijacked my brain. I guess you win some you lose some.

Today it is sunny which is lifting my spirits a tiny bit. I also have plans for racquetball with my friend today. It will make for a nice afternoon.

I am doing okay, but feel weird thoughts trying to make their way in and I am trying to stay grounded. Anxious about everything it seems at the moment.

[pirilin]

Im alone. In solitude.
La Bruja is in India for 18 days.

It would be very nice if she visited
a couple of times a week, and lived somewhere else.

And if we had a maid again,
Life would be Perfect.

Nothing like deciding what to do without interference.
Or advise, or hype, or guidance, or demands, or suggestions.

I still have five more days of freedom.
Then the wrath of God will descend upon thy.

I've neglected quite a few things.
However, the dogs, fishes, plants and thyself,
are thriving.

Life is good.........for now.
She needs to go in another long vacation. And soon.
I'm thinking on how to suggest a month in Africa.

Back to sleep. Because I can.
And my eyes are still in bad shape. From partying.
I may have developed a hernia, from lifting crazy weight.
Both require rest.
In fact, back in Cuba, the doctors prescribed Absolute Rest,
as a medicine. Quite effective sometimes.
I'll give it another try now. Absolute Rest.

Tata!.

Cheers