[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Our planned move is from the US to Europe (likely France).

I have twice stayed in Chartres. I loved it for the cathedral which has a massive labyrinth inlaid in the floor. Then I came back here to the Napa Valley and discovered one of our local churches has a labyrinth modeled on the one in Chartres cathedral. I like these labyrinths because walking them is a metaphor for the journey we travel through life. It's a metaphysical journey. Be sure you make a trip to Chartres to walk its labyrinth.

[Wander]

Busy day yesterday so I ended up crashing physically last night and still feel tired and sore this morning. Fibromyalgia. At least I know I haven’t gone hypomanic. Mentally I feel stable this morning. Going to have a rest day before a busy week full of medical appointments for various ailments. Hopefully I will at least get my hip looked at by ultrasound and then a cortisone injection to stop inflammation and recover soon after. I’m so fed up being so restricted.

I've had an alright day -- nothing new really. I guess my medicine has done a good job of evening me out. I feel a bit on the depressed side, but I'm OK. My days are repetitive and nothing really productive happens. I need to force myself to do more. I have projects and things I piddle around with, but I'm not putting actual energy into. I did take a shower today and I felt a lot better afterwards. I took my dog for a walk, and that as my day. I'm wasting away any " talent" that I used to have.

I feel like I've lost all ability that was once valuable. I was a teacher, I was relatively smart once upon a time. Now I can't even follow a line of questioning to the end to keep up with the response on a news program interview. I know I shouldn't be hard on myself but it's just where I am right now.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I changed my sheets. I REALLY needed to do that. I just haven't had the motivation. So tonight I'm showered and on clean sheets. That feels good.

I think I may need my AD increased. I see my pdoc Monday so that's easy. I think grief is compounded by depression. I'm pretty sure she thought I was getting depressed a month ago. At that time I didn't think I was, I thought I was exhausted from being sick when I saw her, but now a lot more has happened and I'm not doing as well. The good thing with Emsam is that changes happen fast so if she increases it Monday I'll be improving by Wed. or Thursday.

I'm so tired now. Changing those sheets was hard. Hopefully I'll get to sleep earlier than my usual of late 1-2 AM.

Not much energy today. It took three tries to get out of bed. My handy man says he can come Monday or Tuesday to set up my keyboard stand. That's great -- i was afraid it would take weeks. So i will have something new to do next week. None too soon as i'm dying of boredom.

[bizi]

I can't post in the chat rooms!
It says to register...I have done that already.
frustrated.
bizi

[Guiness187055]

Originally Posted by bizi

I can't post in the chat rooms!
It says to register...I have done that already.
frustrated.
bizi

One of the mods might be able to help you out :-)

[TheSeaCat]

Hello everyone; I hope everyone is doing well. I had actually a great day today. I spent today out with most of my girlfriends having a spa day. I also got a hair treatment to extend my color since I don't know when I will be able to get it done again with M about ready to have surgery and a long recovery period and the last thing on my brain will be oh my hair needs to be colored agian.

It was nice getting out with my girls and really taking my mind off everything that is going on; plus it just felt like a really nice day getting out and hanging out and getting dinner with a whole bunch of friends.

Sunday School and Church tomorrow plus a nice lunch out with my parents.

Hugs to everyone

Got to do what I am basically exchanging for my internship. So that was good. 5 undisturbed hours of work/play. Woohoo!

Later, I couldn't find my phone. Panic! I'm now waiting for the bus and still feeling panicky, even though it was found. Not necessary brain and body! Haven't had a panic attack in quite some time. Do not like! It needs to stop already! Breathe...

Hugs available --PRN!

[beauflow]

s and well thoughts.

laundry done, and I got up early.. trash out.. and got a dremel stylo+ .. yes 100% impulse buy.

the other day I realized I haven't been hands on creative in months now.. which just lead to more thoughts.. dont even think crocheting, some digital art but no painting..oh wait the reindeer, but that's a different type of painting to me.. I believe doing things with our hands helps out but idk.. could just be me being busy.

today my etched glass piece, looks like poop to me, but hey It could be so much worse and I tried something new to me that i wanted to... I see some potential to a hobby on this.. can even work with wood... I'm grateful to have a few friends I do... one friend says they want a set of my etched glass wear .. it's kind .... may take them up on it for a project.

My car.. today, that wrench light came on and it's having issues accelerating. looked up the wrench light thing... guess transmission or throttle control.. makes sense... I've been in a car while the transmission went out, had to coast it.. I recall all the work that took to replace the transmission. I can't do this work, evening if it's just the throttle. I haven't had this car for a year yet ..sometimes I want to name it lemon . Contacted the mechanic I've been working with, he is closed today...
asked my ex if he can help me get to the appointment if my car is still dead by then.
I'm debating on asking for help again from a coworker or two... I know the buses.

My sister also texted me it's nice. Wasn't long. I wrote more on our meeting last week somewhere else.

I am glad to have just a day to not be rushed with everything.. I still don't feel like I've done much.. not many odd thoughts like earlier in the week... will see how tomorrow goes..

[~Christina]

Cleaned... cooked... and just watching movies , lazy day.

Stuffy nose.....waiting to see where that ends up, hope it’s nothing , my husband can’t afford to catch anything with his broken lungs.

*** wanders of snuffling***

last night was so loud outside

gave me a bit of a headache (which thankfully is all ready going)

I feel depressed today, but figure it has a lot to do with it being sunday

I have never coped well with sundays. I don't know what it is about them, they just don't work for me

[bizi]

after my coffee I am showering and washing my hair then brunch and a visit with our friends. Sue had a heart attack and had stents put in and is going to have more this week. So jeff bought some flowers and we are going to go over there after brunch. Then a 3pm concert student jazz violin.
should be good.
bizi

spending a lot of time on here today posting

productive...?

[hopeless2015]

Miserable night, upset tummy and terrible heartburn..I never, ever get heartburn..wth. Starting to finally feel better though. I did a really good cleaning yesterday so I dont feel bad for lazing around today.

Hugs

[Tryingtobehappy5]

Feeling somewhat stable, not manic or depressed. A little off, up and down, but whatever it is isnt too bad. Have been mostly sober for the last 12 days. Only had one beer last week so thats really good. Have been going to AA and my pdoc appts. H told me he wont enable me anymore when I tried last night, if I can just get him to say its not a big deal or he wont be upset then I feel ok with drinking but he started seeing a T and I think maybe they told him even that is enabling. Its good and sucks a bit, kept me from drinking last night so I am happy now about it. Just hard in the evenings still. Getting things done around home. Not taking any meds, I just feel confused in that department so I am taking some time to relax about it and not keep trying to make some big "decision" about if I should or shouldnt take them because it just stresses me out.

Overall pretty good. Feel like I am just enjoying the somewhat calm waters while everyone else believes the weatherman saying there is a hurricane coming. Its a toss up in my mind. Pdoc said she is 80% sure of my diagnosis when I said I still wasnt sure. She said she cant be 100% because she hasnt seen me completely manic and can only go on history, genetics and what she seen ip at which point I had already spent a week on a medical ward first.

Also its spring for real here Everything is melting and sometimes you can even go without a sweater. Gonna have our first fire of the year in the backyard tonight and roast hot dogs.

[Scooter9]

I'm feeling really withdrawn. I'm with my family and friends, and work but I'm really withdrawn. I feel like there's a wall between me and everyone else but I don't want it to be there. I want to be more engaged and connected.

I had a conversation with my wife about my depression and the things I'm trying to do to help myself. It's hard to describe to someone what it's like.

She seems to think that I can think my way out of this, not in a bad way but she doesn't understand the depth of despair I feel. Someone without depression can't really understand what it's like.

I'm trying - engaging in a hobby a meeting with friends, working, writing, taking showers. It's a slow process and there are no quick fixes. I guess that's all we can do.

[tecomsin]

Originally Posted by bizi

I can't post in the chat rooms!
It says to register...I have done that already.
frustrated.
bizi

DocJohn explained how to fix this problem here: Trouble logging into chat? Here's the fix

[fern46]

Today has been a good one. Errands this morning, a soccer game and then time outside with the family this afternoon. I even got a 30 min brisk walk in. I'm grateful for days like this when everything is easy going and I can forget about my troubles for a while.

[downandlonely]

Originally Posted by Scooter9

I'm feeling really withdrawn. I'm with my family and friends, and work but I'm really withdrawn. I feel like there's a wall between me and everyone else but I don't want it to be there. I want to be more engaged and connected.

I had a conversation with my wife about my depression and the things I'm trying to do to help myself. It's hard to describe to someone what it's like.

She seems to think that I can think my way out of this, not in a bad way but she doesn't understand the depth of despair I feel. Someone without depression can't really understand what it's like.

I'm trying - engaging in a hobby a meeting with friends, working, writing, taking showers. It's a slow process and there are no quick fixes. I guess that's all we can do.

I know what you mean about people not understanding. Some people (even therapists) think we are choosing to be depressed with negative thinking. Who would choose this?

[pirilin]

Bad bad cold.
At times, I feel a little better. But not near whole.
I'm dealing with a green pool, and cleaning the filters
every few hrs.
Handling water is not making me feel any better either.
But it has to be done.
Everything accumulates when you're sick.
"He who wants no chocolate, gets two cups."
Cheers.

It strains reality: it is snowing again! I can't f_ck!ng believe it! Will this Winter NEVER be over? I can't remember my Spring hypomania ever being this late. I hope i don't just skip it...

[~Christina]

Slept until 300 today !!! Kept waking up feeling like crap so I rolled right back over.

I think my snuffles is turning into a sinus infection. Gotta catch it before it hits my lungs and hope it doesn’t cause another ear infection ... they strike and rupture one or both eardrums ( happens a few times a year)

But things could be much worse ~

[Wander]

Yesterday I crashed physically and spent the day on the couch or in bed. My mood was low but not depressed. This morning I’m still tired but a bit better. I have a 40 minute drive each way today to get to a Rheumatologist appointment. I doubt he can help my Fibromyalgia but it’s worth a try. Haven’t been looking after myself with junk food and beer, but at least I’m reducing both. So glad I haven’t been agitated for two days but the anxiety has been bad. Pdoc and T say that part is PTSD. My mind floods with memories and cause me distress. At least I have a long history (years ago) of severe PTSD so I have experience managing it.

[Nammu]

A vagrant came into the restaurant where mum and I were dining. He went from table to table talking to people, he didn't ask for anything just talked. The manager asked him to leave but must have called the cops because 4 cop cars and six cops showed up. I feel bad cause I said nothing to him, not a word, not a kind look, nothing. He was arrested....for what. But for getting help and meds there go I