[beauflow]

I continue on... I wait and continue.. today at work I didn't have very agitated thoughts as I did prior...
I see one doc to see another and some may think this is too much not really- no insurance for a year or more and have some issues that aren't all in my head. Some issues I should had probably addressed prior.

Answer today: I do have cyst acne, and I took the leap to accept assistance with it... last T and I would talk on this, general doc currently a few times brought it up as well... and here I am like, what does it Matter? Yes, I do feel better if my skin is clear, but this stuff isn't going away any more... so I will take the treatment.

I got something removed that has bothered me emotionally and negatively since I was 16.. silly thing... Another plus I thought of today was: for those times I've wondered "is it cancer?" The. Down in the dumps, " it probably is " -will no longer hold a -what if - as it's being tested and I am pretty sure it's nothing! . Honestly I am not sure if anyone understands that but that's a part of me.

I am to see gyno tomorrow as a cyst that's came about, yes due to stress, has emerged. I was hoping since November cyst got misplaced, this one could be taken but idk now... but hey by the derm looking at it gyno took that as consultation ((I didn't know that!)).. any who my cat is happy to be home, yes I mentioned that but I am happy he is back.
I am a little sad that I am not taking an opportunity at work because I've been so stressed and am a little scared of leaving home right now... but I must do what is best for my health all around. And I may have another opportunity later.

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by beauflow

I continue on... I wait and continue.. today at work I didn't have very agitated thoughts as I did prior...
I see one doc to see another and some may think this is too much not really- no insurance for a year or more and have some issues that aren't all in my head. Some issues I should had probably addressed prior.

Answer today: I do have cyst acne, and I took the leap to accept assistance with it... last T and I would talk on this, general doc currently a few times brought it up as well... and here I am like, what does it Matter? Yes, I do feel better if my skin is clear, but this stuff isn't going away any more... so I will take the treatment.

I got something removed that has bothered me emotionally and negatively since I was 16.. silly thing... Another plus I thought of today was: for those times I've wondered "is it cancer?" The. Down in the dumps, " it probably is " -will no longer hold a -what if - as it's being tested and I am pretty sure it's nothing! . Honestly I am not sure if anyone understands that but that's a part of me.

I am to see gyno tomorrow as a cyst that's came about, yes due to stress, has emerged. I was hoping since November cyst got misplaced, this one could be taken but idk now... but hey by the derm looking at it gyno took that as consultation ((I didn't know that!)).. any who my cat is happy to be home, yes I mentioned that but I am happy he is back.
I am a little sad that I am not taking an opportunity at work because I've been so stressed and am a little scared of leaving home right now... but I must do what is best for my health all around. And I may have another opportunity later.

I hope the gyno appointment goes well and I'm glad to have my cat back as well; fuzzballs are the best.

[Pookyl]

Day 2 IP. I’m no longer cheerfully sui, just straight up manic. Doctors are pumping me full of Valium, Seroquel and other drugs to try and pull me off the ceiling. I’m having so much fun as so many of the other ‘frequent flyers’ are here in hospital as well. I’ve been sent to my room. I think they forgot I’ve got my phone on me. Giggle

[beauflow]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

My T texted me again today 3 days in a row now , (very very unusual) to see if I’m ok , I see him tomorrow. I slept til
5 today , yes I’m staying up to near morning or full on morning , not sure why. Maybe just because.....

I just don’t know where I fit in this world anymore. * sigh*

I wanted to write but my words are having issues forming...
I am sorry you're feeling this way and in hopes that your T can assist.

[wildflowerchild25]

I am in more pain every day. I think because I’m almost at the end of my prednisone pack. I’m guessing the inflammation is coming back. I will never take my ability to walk for granted again. Not being able to get around is killing me. I can’t stand long enough to cook. Thank goodness my mom made some pork in the crock pot last night, at least I have lunch for a couple of days. I’m going to attempt to make a chicken dish in the crock pot tomorrow so I have some options for lunch and dinner. I just need to cook some bacon. I can do that in the oven so minimal standing.

I’ve been reading up on my surgery and it seems that I may not need physical therapy afterward but I need to walk. I’m glad it’s getting warmer out, that will give me the motivation to get outside and walk as often as possible. Hell maybe I’ll lose weight. That would be nice.

I’m kind of glad that it looks like I’ll be skipping my spring hypomania this year. Being hypomanic and house/couch bound would be a special mind of torture, I think. Plus no good for my bank account!

wildflowerchild I'm so sorry about your back. It really does suck not being able to get around and to be in so much pain. Hope it all gets resolved as soon as possible. Have they scheduled a date for the surgery?

I woke up with a headache today. I am sleeping better however, I think. I woke up late today (about 11:30am) so I've not been up too long. No plans for today-- just like any other day. I've been trying to work on myself, because if I don't start there I'm gonna run into more and more problems. The issue now is I run into roadblocks because some places inside I just don't wanna go. I'm coming around though. I better get this done while I'm still feeling good-- lord knows I can't when I am depressed.


I also want to say I really enjoy this forum. I check it a lot during the day. I just feel incorporated into a community when I don't even leave my own home. It's like a can contribute to something, somewhere -- ya know? So thanks.

Thank YOU for participating, Brentus! Good to have you around.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I am in more pain every day. I think because I’m almost at the end of my prednisone pack. I’m guessing the inflammation is coming back. I will never take my ability to walk for granted again. Not being able to get around is killing me. I can’t stand long enough to cook. Thank goodness my mom made some pork in the crock pot last night, at least I have lunch for a couple of days. I’m going to attempt to make a chicken dish in the crock pot tomorrow so I have some options for lunch and dinner. I just need to cook some bacon. I can do that in the oven so minimal standing.


I’ve been reading up on my surgery and it seems that I may not need physical therapy afterward but I need to walk. I’m glad it’s getting warmer out, that will give me the motivation to get outside and walk as often as possible. Hell maybe I’ll lose weight. That would be nice.


I’m kind of glad that it looks like I’ll be skipping my spring hypomania this year. Being hypomanic and house/couch bound would be a special mind of torture, I think. Plus no good for my bank account!

Good news on surgery front !!!!you will be probably wondering why they had you wait so longer !!

[~Christina]

Glad your here Brentus , you bring great advice to this place

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

wildflowerchild I'm so sorry about your back. It really does suck not being able to get around and to be in so much pain. Hope it all gets resolved as soon as possible. Have they scheduled a date for the surgery?

I see the surgeon tomorrow. I will probably have to get another MRI before they can schedule me because I lost the CD of my previous one. I just hope that they will schedule me soon. Since I’m not eligible for fmla I might lose my insurance in April. I’m not sure.

I wish winter would end for us. Monday we got about 3 inches of snow and last night another 2 or so. I'm so sick of it. It's so slick out. I can barely walk to get to my car. They don't de ice that good in my apts parking lot. I'm so afraid of falling. I fell last year and hurt my knee really bad.

My mood is pretty low. I'm so sick of the way my son treats me. I've got to figure out a way to change that. I'm crying. He's yelling at me. I'm so sick of the verbal abuse.

[~Christina]

Saw my T and it has realllly helped me a lot. He always does. We discussed the fact that I for only the second time of 8 years calling and leaving him a message.

I never want to ever “bother him,” he did gently scold me for not just calling his cell , I’m the only client that has it..and have me a giant huge as I scared him.

Most of my constant anxiety is because of my husbands health. Which I need to get totally blunt with him about the reality and what he is doing to make matters worse.

End result his dusty book store smell
Is something I wish I could bottle.

[yellow_fleurs]

Glad your T could help, Christina!
Rose, you don't deserve to be verbally abused, I am sorry. Hoping you get some bright warm days soon!

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by rose1985

I wish winter would end for us. Monday we got about 3 inches of snow and last night another 2 or so. I'm so sick of it. It's so slick out. I can barely walk to get to my car. They don't de ice that good in my apts parking lot. I'm so afraid of falling. I fell last year and hurt my knee really bad.


My mood is pretty low. I'm so sick of the way my son treats me. I've got to figure out a way to change that. I'm crying. He's yelling at me. I'm so sick of the verbal abuse.

Is he in some kind of group Therapy ??? Maybe finding something like that would be a good outlet for him and the anger ?

You do not deserve verbal abuse no matter if he’s your son or not

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I see the surgeon tomorrow. I will probably have to get another MRI before they can schedule me because I lost the CD of my previous one. I just hope that they will schedule me soon. Since I’m not eligible for fmla I might lose my insurance in April. I’m not sure.

Can you Cobra act your insurance ? I know it can get pricey , but a thought

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Can you Cobra act your insurance ? I know it can get pricey , but a thought

I’m waiting for my HR person to get back to me on that. I got a decent amount back for my tax return so I can afford it if I have to pay a couple of months out of pocket I’m just hoping that’s an option.

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Glad your T could help, Christina!
Rose, you don't deserve to be verbally abused, I am sorry. Hoping you get some bright warm days soon!

Thank you! It was sunny today but still cold. It is supposed to warm up by the weekend. Get into the upper 40s.

Yes my son needs to stop it! I'm gonna lay down some serious boundaries tonight. But with his psychotic disorder it's become the new norm for us, unfortunately. I've just got to stick the boundaries.

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Is he in some kind of group Therapy ??? Maybe finding something like that would be a good outlet for him and the anger ?

You do not deserve verbal abuse no matter if he’s your son or not

Yes, I agree. He's in therapy but just started and is working on his depression. Iit's gotten so much worse since he started having delusions. But he's only abusive towards me. I have to set some strong boundaries and stick to them.

Thanks for your response.

My mild depression continues. I didn't even get dressed today. But here's something new: i am considering learning how to play the piano! I'm a bit concerned because i couldn't learn guitar or recorder. I couldn't move my fingers fast enough. It's probably hopeless but my Scrabble friend is a piano teacher. I like her a lot. She's cool. I'm going over for a trial lesson Tuesday evening.

Learning piano would be such a great hobby for me because there's no winning or losing as in Scrabble, it's sedentary, i can do it at home, alone, i don't have to get my hands dirty as in cooking and it doesn't produce anything to add to the storage crisis in my tiny place as in knitting.

I love piano music!

[TheSeaCat]

Hello everyone; I hope everyone is doing well. It's Wednesday which is typically my busiest day of the week since it is midweek. I am doing alright knowing that M will be seeing a doctor soon enough.

After work I went out with R and a few nurse friends and we all got our nails done and had a small girls night; so now my hair and nails are good to go for a while. After getting my nails done I ate out and then went to church for Bible Study.

I'm still at the boyfriend's house; kitty is trying to get used to the two big dogs. Kitty slept on top of one of the dogs last night so they are slowly getting used to each other; I can tell that kitty is glad to have me again.

I am feeling alright; the emotionally exhausted feeling is slowly going away.

Hugs to everyone

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I see the surgeon tomorrow. I will probably have to get another MRI before they can schedule me because I lost the CD of my previous one. I just hope that they will schedule me soon. Since I’m not eligible for fmla I might lose my insurance in April. I’m not sure.

Do you remember where you had the MRI done a lot of the times they are still saved for a certain amount of time and you might be able to call the place and have another disk made. Unless of course you think that MRI is a few years old and something might have changed since then; even then it's worth a try since the surgeon might like to compare the MRI's and see the difference.

[Wander]

Damn, my whole message disappeared. Saw the Physio. Referred to a specialist. Really need treatment to get my leg working properly again. I need to get back to work ASAP. Random important bills are draining my savings. Ironically I could see if work would take me back now as Bipolar and Fibromyalgia under control but I now can’t with this leg. Sigh...

Still panicked. My T gave me some exercises which help. It seems to be calming but I still can’t focus. In the process of making massive life decisions but I can’t even contact University to tell them I’ve dropped out due to anxiety. I haven’t been this anxious for years.

My T and I agreed I am stable Bipolar wise which is encouraging. I thought I was getting depressed a bit back but it seems it was the beginning of this life crisis. My mood today is positive and fairly happy. Just hate the crushing anxious feeling. I am focusing on finding a new path for my life. I have hope, though I still self destruct in some ways.

[pirilin]

I've been up for more than an hour now.
But I'm still slepping.
Went to bed at 12:00AM, pit stop at 4:30AM.
Back to bed inmediately.

La Bruja woke me up at 8:30AM.
Very late to do my chores.
Preparing her lunch was a real effort today.

I have a GP appointment at 11:30AM today.
If this sleepiness continues, I'll probably get lost. Again.

I'll take a long shower to see if it helps.
All I did different last night, was to take two Aleve pills.
In addition to the L-Tryptophan.
Boy, I hope I've found THE combo to sleep.

This thread doesn't make much sence to me.
I wanted to see if I could post in this condition.
I hafta drive more than 45 mins to get there.

Nack nack.

Cheers,

I am heartbroken. Remember the internship? The one that gave me an opportunity to do what I'd been waiting to get back to for very nearly a decade, and that I love and that is the bright spots of my week as a break from slogging through my awful job? Well, the owner suddenly is having to move (family reasons) and the whole thing is coming to an unexpected end.

I keep crying. Last night right after work I saw the email. I cried myself to sleep. Crying much more this morning. This just sucks. It's such a great place. Creative, supportive, such nice people. Damn, this just sucks so much.