[GoldenSnitch]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I accomplished nothing at work today. I’m not even exaggerating. I needed to get access to a computer and I didn’t get that access until 3pm, having been at work since 6am. So by the time 3pm rolled around, my work day was over. Did nothing except reread things to make it appear as if I was working.


Now I’m tired, but also bored. I’d like to sleep to kill two birds with one stone, but it’s not even 7pm yet... If I stay up, what am I going to do if I’m bored as hell? To help with tomorrow’s inevitable boredom, I ordered some things online that will come in the mail tomorrow via free 1-day Prime shipping.


Mood is ok otherwise. I hope everyone had a good day.

That sounds really annoying. I’m sorry you had a crappy work day. But yay for prime shipping! It’s my favourite. I’m glad your mood is okay otherwise

[GoldenSnitch]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I am doing well today. I seem to do better when I keep busy doing things out of the house. I’ll strive to do more of that. Mom seemed down so I took her out on errands on this beautiful day. She’s much better. Got my dog out of the kennel...missed him...even waking me at 2-4 in the morning.


Warm wishes for everyone to have a peaceful weekend.

Glad to hear you are doing well

[GoldenSnitch]

I had a decent day. Helped my mom with a few things. Had a night with my daughter. I did have a headache from the change in weather but I took some Advil and it went away. I started reading a game of thrones tonight. Something I’ve wanted to start for a while now!

I visited my dad at the general hospital today. He actually looked better, despite having all kinds of tubes in him and oxygen being sent to his nose. What's surprising in a nice way (though I'm cautiously happy) is that he's excited about going back to the psych hospital/rehab. The thing is, he thinks he's never been there, despite having been there for 24 hours before his transfer to the general hospital. He totally doesn't remember. I guess I can understand, because he was so "out of it" that maybe it was a form of mental blackout.

Dad told me that they said he'd be going [back] to the psych hospital tomorrow. I hope that does happen. I'd rather visit him at the psych hospital. It's much more pleasant and easier to get to.

[TheSeaCat]

Hello everyone; yes I know bad me for not updating you all. I do apologize again. I will hopefully do better once I go back to work on Monday; since that will be more of a normal schedule for me.

M is doing fantastic with his healing process; he is going to PT three times a week; plus bible study on Wednesday and Sunday School and Church every Sunday.

I had the past four weeks off from work; well really I had two personal weeks off and two weeks working from the bed doing March's chart audits. So my weeks have put me out of wack and just feels different.

I've also been dealing with my heart issues; the last med we tried caused something odd to happen so I am now on a different medication; is it 5 or 6; I've honestly lost count of all the different heart meds I have tried. I am feeling better on the last thing he put me on but we all know how this goes; med seems to work and boom it all of a sudden doesn't.

I am also rapidly approaching graduation; two more weeks until I have a Bachelor's. So I am also stressing about school; and getting to the finish line.

I have also got of my AP in favor of just a depression med. I've been tapering of my Seroquel and was put on Trintellix today, if something happens and this medication doesn't work for me then I will go back to my Seroquel security blanket but I want to see if maybe I can get away with just a depression medication. I know what to watch for and will not hesitate to go back to what I know works.

Thursday M and I had our first date night in what felt like a long time; we went and saw Avenger's Endgame; which was really really good; although a little long; but still it was nice having a date night between the two of us.

I just have so much going on that it's hard to remember if I am coming or going and it's hard typing out an update. I miss you all and thank of you all daily; I try to read what is going on; sometimes it's just hard writing my own update.

I go back to work on Monday and I am super excited to be back to work honestly. M still has a little bit of time left until he get's to return to work; but I feel comfortable leaving him.

I will hopefully be back to updating you all soon; and if I am not well let's blame life.

Hugs to everyone

[Wander]

Stomach still giving me grief and my hip too. Frustrating as I want to work soon. I need the money.

Saw my family this morning and helped my 14 year old niece string and tune her guitars. She is learning at school. Hopefully I will be able to help if she needs it. As I don’t have children I love being involved with my nieces and nephews.

Yesterday was a dark day. Depression seemed to be creeping in. I couldn’t occupy myself as I was restless and couldn’t concentrate. I felt so low and took meds to sleep but couldn’t. Thankfully today I feel a bit better, more energy, and less dark. Still I’m worried. Also my Lithium tremors are getting real bad so I’m reducing my dose as if tonight. See my pdoc in two weeks and can reassess then. Know I should wait but the tremors made me reinjure my hip a bit this morning as I couldn’t stay still. I can’t afford to go backwards with my hip recovery. Man, my body and mind issues run my life right now. I need to change that.

BirdDancer: glad your visit with your dad went well and that he's getting transferred to a location that's handier for you.

TheSeaCat: glad to hear your partner is recovering well. That must be a big relief for you. Congrats on being on the verge of getting your Bachelor's degree. Mine's 30 years old but still means a lot to me. Sorry to hear your heart meds continue to trouble you. Not to worry about being irregular here on the forum. Just write whenever the spirit moves you.

Scrabble's going well for me. I won five online games in a row today and ended up with a decent rating. I had bad luck for the longest time. I decided i wouldn't withdraw from Seroquel while i'm titrating up on Lamictal. I know from experience that changing two meds at once is not a good idea because you never know which one is the culprit if you run into trouble. Also, it was without my doctor's knowledge and i'm rarely noncompliant -- why start now?

I have appreciated all of the hugs and kind words during this time of stress over my dad's wellness. I'm sorry I haven't been able to respond to all of others' posts, but I have read most.

Tomorrow we have a yard sale. I'm trying to focus on that as a distraction. I will visit my dad tonight, hopefully at the psych hospital/rehab where he might be transferred today. I hope he's transferred there today. He does have a slightly healthier look about him. I told him that and said he'll look and feel even better with days/weeks/months/years off of alcohol and with proper psych treatment. He was telling funny stories yesterday. That was more the dad I knew during better days.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by GoldenSnitch

Sorry blue_bird. That really sucks. I hope you get a better sleep tonight.

Thanks! I ended up getting a great night of sleep! That's awesome that you're reading the game of thrones books, I really enjoyed them, hope you do as well

[Blue_Bird]

That's awesome that you'll be getting your bachelors TheSeaCat! Great job I had to take a semester off school due to symptoms but am hoping to go back in the fall, I'm working on my associates degree at the moment

[Daonnachd]

I don't think I've mentioned this yet. I had ECT yesterday. I had a good conversation with my pdoc about going back to 100% power. The drive there and back was fun because my driver this time also likes modern Celtic folk/rock.

The morning was quite cool, but it was a beautiful afternoon on San Francisco Bay.

Alive, about all I got going for me right now.

[Wander]

Wow. My day turned out dramatically different to what I had expected. Not long after I last posted my partner called. A friend of his who has a high end restaurant needed someone to photograph $80000 worth of paintings so he can sell them. I was so exhausted and indifferent I almost said no.

The deal is that if this man sells the paintings I could get up to 5% of the profits. I am sceptical and won’t get my hopes up, but they are legitimately expensive, and my partner vouches for his character. It could bring in $1-4000.

The shoot took me around five hours, and the editing around eight hours. Plus spending time talking more business with this man. In the end I either cover my bills for months or at least have had a great opportunity to hone my photography skills and branch out my connections.

It is midnight now and I’m wired but exhausted. What a change. I almost canceled all my known plans this morning as I was tired and down. I loved working again. Paid or not, it’s been a great experience.

[Moose72]

I went out to a diner for brunch this morning by myself. I facebook messaged my dad while waiting to be seated. We did that for 10 mins or so. Just after I got seated and ordered, he called. Im usually the one to call him and in the past it was always to tell me some family member had died! But today, we had a really great conversation for 45 minutes straight! (The exact time I was at the diner actually.) He told me things about our past that I had no idea about- like when I was a kid, he used to buy and sell real estate for extra income! No idea until today! The stories of our houses- why we got each one and how- a great deal with the old owner of one, the one before that that was only supposed to be temporary while we got another house- but that other house got fumbled by the 70's recession. And LOTS about my birth! I had a very exciting birth and lets just say my mom and dad were air vac'd to the only hospital relatively close- from OK to TX- to an airforce base that had state-of-the-art equipment for preemies- because the OK hospital was more like a clinic and would have to let me die! Thete's a lit more (45 mins worth!) but these are just the highlights. YMy dad is getting old and he's unfortunately an alcoholic but he's a great dad. Im not excusing my life as an adult child of an alcoholic. Today was great. I will cherish it.

[Sunflower123]

Less then 2 weeks and my daughter will be home for the summer! Counting down the days. She has finals on her 20th birthday so we’ll have to make it extra special when she gets home.

The house is ready for her but my bedroom is not. It’s a mess. It got bad when I was so depressed. I am cleaning it up for me. I’m finding all kinds of oddities (a bull horn) and lots of treasures in there.

Florida is coming up fast (Mom has two timeshares back to back June 1). I promise this year to only report positive things and not how my sister will be the death of me like I did last year. Promise.

Warm wishes to all.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by TheSeaCat

Hello everyone; yes I know bad me for not updating you all. I do apologize again. I will hopefully do better once I go back to work on Monday; since that will be more of a normal schedule for me.

M is doing fantastic with his healing process; he is going to PT three times a week; plus bible study on Wednesday and Sunday School and Church every Sunday.

I had the past four weeks off from work; well really I had two personal weeks off and two weeks working from the bed doing March's chart audits. So my weeks have put me out of wack and just feels different.

I've also been dealing with my heart issues; the last med we tried caused something odd to happen so I am now on a different medication; is it 5 or 6; I've honestly lost count of all the different heart meds I have tried. I am feeling better on the last thing he put me on but we all know how this goes; med seems to work and boom it all of a sudden doesn't.

I am also rapidly approaching graduation; two more weeks until I have a Bachelor's. So I am also stressing about school; and getting to the finish line.

I have also got of my AP in favor of just a depression med. I've been tapering of my Seroquel and was put on Trintellix today, if something happens and this medication doesn't work for me then I will go back to my Seroquel security blanket but I want to see if maybe I can get away with just a depression medication. I know what to watch for and will not hesitate to go back to what I know works.

Thursday M and I had our first date night in what felt like a long time; we went and saw Avenger's Endgame; which was really really good; although a little long; but still it was nice having a date night between the two of us.

I just have so much going on that it's hard to remember if I am coming or going and it's hard typing out an update. I miss you all and thank of you all daily; I try to read what is going on; sometimes it's just hard writing my own update.

I go back to work on Monday and I am super excited to be back to work honestly. M still has a little bit of time left until he get's to return to work; but I feel comfortable leaving him.

I will hopefully be back to updating you all soon; and if I am not well let's blame life.

Hugs to everyone

Congratulations on getting your Bachelors. That’s a big milestone. Way to go! Kudos! I’m really sorry to hear of your heart woes. I hope they get it straightened out.

[lightly toasted]

So after years of being prescription med-less and without a pdoc...I screwed up the courage on Thursday to get my sorry sleep deprived backside to the local walk in for seroquel.

The doc I saw there was very kind and actually listened...he didn't think seroquel would be the best med for me, but he didn't hesitate in writing me a script so I could get some sleep. The 50 mg I took Thursday night worked like magic, I slept 8.5 hours! I've not slept that well in over 12 years. And I was productive yesterday. I followed the instructions to double the dose to 100 mg last night...Holy Frickin' Hell! What a nightmare that was, it felt like I'd been given and elephant sedative and 20 cups of espresso at the same time. I was up with the worst bugs under the skin until 3 am...I tried pacing the living room to work it off...laying in bed was torture, but I was so sedated at the same time, my knees kept buckling and I kept walking into the walls so I had to stay sitting up in bed babbling to myself and ride it out.

I was so out of it this morning I made myself what I normally have for a late night snack thinking I was making breakfast. I thought I was pouring myself a bowl of cereal but instead I was holding half a peanut butter sandwich in my hand. That's never happened before.

I'll just stick to the 50 mg dose tonight, the poison is clearly in the dose. I see the same GP on Monday.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by lightly toasted

So after years of being prescription med-less and without a pdoc...I screwed up the courage on Thursday to get my sorry sleep deprived backside to the local walk in for seroquel.

The doc I saw there was very kind and actually listened...he didn't think seroquel would be the best med for me, but he didn't hesitate in writing me a script so I could get some sleep. The 50 mg I took Thursday night worked like magic, I slept 8.5 hours! I've not slept that well in over 12 years. And I was productive yesterday. I followed the instructions to double the dose to 100 mg last night...Holy Frickin' Hell! What a nightmare that was, it felt like I'd been given and elephant sedative and 20 cups of espresso at the same time. I was up with the worst bugs under the skin until 3 am...I tried pacing the living room to work it off...laying in bed was torture, but I was so sedated at the same time, my knees kept buckling and I kept walking into the walls so I had to stay sitting up in bed babbling to myself and ride it out.

I was so out of it this morning I made myself what I normally have for a late night snack thinking I was making breakfast. I thought I was pouring myself a bowl of cereal but instead I was holding half a peanut butter sandwich in my hand. That's never happened before.

I'll just stick to the 50 mg dose tonight, the poison is clearly in the dose. I see the same GP on Monday.

Wow. That sounds horrible. I’m sorry that happened to you.

I did some work today because I felt guilty about not doing anything yesterday... I might even do a little work tomorrow since I've only worked for about 4 hours today and don't plan to do anymore for the rest of the day. So I guess I've accomplished something for the first time in a while?

I also found out that my buspar dose was increased? I opened up the pharmacy bag thing that I picked up on Thursday and I saw that the dose was increased from 15 to 30mg. My pdoc NEVER said he was going to increase the dose. I don't know if this was a mistake or if he was secretly talking with my therapist again. She might've told him my anxiety was high and then he made the decision to increase my dose. But buspar takes a while to take effect, so it hasn't been given a chance yet at 15mg... Two appointments ago, he even said we'd stick to 15 unless we need to go up. Now I have to waste time calling his assistant and getting a response back a million years later.

On a weird note, though... When I picked up my scripts from the pharmacy on Thursday, I found out there's apparently someone with the same first name, middle name, and last name as me. lol. I got asked if I knew that my doctor prescribed me two hormones that interact with each other. I said, "I don't recognize a hormone script? I've never gotten prescribed a hormone before. Are you sure that's me? My name is _____." Then the pharmacist said, "Yep, that's the name." I said, "I'm just here to pick up some Lexapro and Rexulti..." Then she said, "Ohhh! There are TWO of you in the system with the same exact name. What's your date of birth?"

Not gonna lie... I kinda wanna meet the secret person with the same name as me.

[bpforever1]

I am doing well. I went shopping with my brother. Now, I'm at my parents' house. I am waiting for dinner. I think we will eat salad. I did not walk this morning. I will go out tomorrow with my mother again. I am happy.

[wildflowerchild25]

I am exhausted! I went to the flower show today with RS and his parents. I walked around for about an hour and a half and boy are my legs tired! I even took a nap when I got home and damn I’m still super tired. I feel bad for how messy it is In here but I’m going to have to be nice to myself and give myself a pass for today.

I am desperately trying to quit smoking but I keep ****ing buying cigarettes. I keep coming up with excuses. I’m going to try hard to make sure this is my last pack. My son figures it out right away. I am waiting for the day RS smells it on me. That’s going to start a fight. I don’t want to fight. We’ve never fought. I’m such a **** up. Seriously. I want to quit so badly.

Ugh. I wish I had willpower.

[TheSeaCat]

Hello all; hey look two updates in a row; it's a new record. All joking aside I hope everyone is doing well.

Today I got my nieces for a little get together; we went to Michael's and Joann's and got supplies to decorate my graduation cap. That was actually fun to do with them; my grad cap is really pretty and will look awesome in all the pictures. Plus decorating it made it feel more real if that makes any sense; plus it will give me the motivation to finish out this semester with a high note.

In a little less than two weeks: I will have my Bachelor's Degree which is getting me very excited.

Tomorrow is Sunday School and Church day; and then Monday is the first day back to work.

Day two of just an antidepressant and I seem to be doing okay. I slept okay last night without my Seroquel and just Melatonin. I mean I did have a nightmare but I do get them on occasion; so really no big thing.

Hugs to everyone

[Daonnachd]

I spent the day with all three of my siblings to celebrate my mother's birthday which passed this week. So we met on the bank of the Sacramento Delta to have a picnic and chat.

I went out to a mall to try and distract myself from my depression. Near me in the foodcourt was a little girl with a hairband with a unicorn horn on it. She had a unicorn purse as well. What a little darling! Otherwise the trip was lousy and i feel miserable. It'll be four more weeks til the Lamictal is at a therapeutic level. I guess i just have to hold on til then, tho i've heard bad things about Lamictal in these parts.

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

I spent the day with all three of my siblings to celebrate my mother's birthday which passed this week. So we met on the bank of the Sacramento Delta to have a picnic and chat.

That sounds lovely