Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Sounds YUMMY!

I am going to make mango coconut habanero chicken with wild rice and assorted veggies. I just love this! I cheat and use a pre-made sauce.

Mmmmmm! Sounds great!

I read an article the other day that said that mango is now considered a super food. I could definitely live with that!

Originally Posted by Moose72

Birddancer, Im 47 and my dad is also an alcoholic. Its really hard. My thoughts are with you. I don't know if you've found it but there's an "ACOA" board here at PC. You can also PM me if you like.

Sorry to read that you are also going through this with your dad, Moose. I will check out the ACOA forum you mentioned. You're so kind to offer an understanding "ear".

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m still doing well. No more episodes of bliss (I think I took my Abilify twice that day and it’s maximum dosage) but generally feeling better all around. We just got through going to a huge sunflower field and picking as many sunflowers as we could get in a bucket. Really beautiful.

Been spending the past three days running around morning to night with M having adventures. Storing up memories to get me through to August 9th when I go up there to help decorate her apartment.

The life coach is going well. We have continued working on limiting beliefs (I have a few). My conclusion has been that nothing takes the place of a good therapist and I can’t find one right now that takes my insurance. In the mean time, this is working out nicely and I’m excited about the goals I’ve set.

I apologize for being behind on the posts. My hug says I read you and I care. I’ll catch up when she leaves Wednesday morning.

Warm wishes to all and hugs to all who are struggling.

Oh! Episodes of bliss! I enjoy them so much!

I am glad you are having so much fun with M!!!

I have used a life coach in the past. I had found mine to be quite fun and interesting; yet, also quite misinformed about MI and/or physical medical issues. This is just my own experience.

Identifying limiting core beliefs can be very important work.
I once flew across the country to take a 3 day intensive on this topic. (I might have been a bit hypomanic at the time. Lol. )

I hope you can find a good therapist willing to take your insurance. I am also limited in who will take my insurance. Luckily, I 'd found a great MD willing to do so. I had to pay the first $3500.00 deductible though. UGGH!!!

Looking forward to you "return" here; yet, am thrilled you are out having FUN!!!

Much Love o You!!!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by tecomsin

That sounds delicious! I have lost interest in cooking but have recently found a meal service. It's more like home cooked food than restaurant. It will add a little variety to my diet, which hasn't been great.

Hey there, tecomsin!
I'll bet the meal service is great!?

My sister lives in another state and runs a very, very busy business. She and her partner use a meal service for their evening meals. They love it!

I am often impressed when they tell me about their meals.

I hope you enjoy the meal service you have found!!!

Much Love to You!!!

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by komodo1971

Hi everyone,

My name is Robert, or komodo1971 on this board. I just registered here. I might completely flood this board when I'm manic or simply withdraw when I'm depressed; just so you know. I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 a month or 6 ago, and before that time I was undiagnosed and untreated for years. Looking back, my bipolar issues already started in adolescence, when I was about 18. I struggled for nearly 30 years. In that time I was diagnosed with so many different mental health issues, including but certainly not limited to borderline personality, antisocial personality disorder, PTSD, uni-polar depression and many, many more. The PTSD diagnosis still stands, together with the bipolar type 1 disorder.


I take lithium, aripiprazole and seroquel to stay as stable as possible.


I live in the Netherlands, and I am married. I have a job, but they want to get rid of me due to the fact that I have been ill too much.


Just wanted to say Hi!

Welcome to PC

[~Christina]

Today has been a disaster , my husband can’t understand my stress over this month long trip starting in August. I blew up earlier about it and decided to just not discuss it further.

The more I think about it the madder I have gotten.

So right now I feel like a long tailed cat in a world full of rocking chairs !

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Today has been a disaster , my husband can’t understand my stress over this month long trip starting in August. I blew up earlier about it and decided to just not discuss it further.

The more I think about it the madder I have gotten.

So right now I feel like a long tailed cat in a world full of rocking chairs !

(((((( ~Christina ))))))

I am so very sorry you are going through this!

I am here for you, ANYTIME!

[Wander]

Into my fourth day of IP. It only seems to be making me feel more trapped but as I have strong SI my pdoc won't let me discharge. The anxiety and agitation are bad. Until last night I had hardly been sleeping but I was given an anti-histamine last night and it knocked me out. So much so that I have been sleeping a lot of the day too. I am SOOOOO bored. I cannot concentrate so any groups, reading, TV etc is almost impossible to engage in. I am stuck. Yesterday I had a go at my pdoc as he hadn't shown up the last three times he said he would. This was only making me more paranoid and feeling unsafe. I am scared. I am trying to calm down so I can go home safely. I have no friends to visit me so I have only seen my Mum, and Dad once. As they both trigger me it is both great to have them visit but also very stressful. I don't know what to do. I hate the feeling in my chest, the feeling of fear, agitation and panic. I want my peace back.

[Nevvy]

As usual, things look up for me and then something terrible happens. My cat ran into something and got badly injured and we had to take her to the vet where they told us she has a tumor that she busted open and they will have a problem getting rid of it because of the spot. They knocked her out and did what they could to stop the bleeding and she's okay for now...

We need to come back in a week to see if they can do anything because she was making so much of a mess that the vet couldn't even see the wound. My cat has a cone now and I am trying to baby her back to something resembling her old self but she's so weak right now, I dunno.

I hear today if I got the job, hopefully.

I guess that's my life, possible good things followed by garbage :/

[komodo1971]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Hiya Robert! We love to welcome new people to the Psych Central forums. Thanks for introducing yourself!

Thanks for the welcome.

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Many of us can relate to much of your experience. My bipolar disorder surely started in my teens, and I wasn't properly diagnosed until I was 32. Anyway, we both finally got diagnosed and it's good to just look forward.

Yes, but it makes me wonder what I could've achieved had I been properly diagnosed early on. Anyway, no point in thinking about that now.

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

I'm sorry to read that your job is in jeopardy. Is it possible to get mental health leave?

I am already on medical leave for two years. In that time, I've been trying to reintegrate in my job, but due to the fact that I am very visible in my company, Global HQ doesn't want me in that position anymore. I was psychotic and mabnic two years ago and I'm still recuperating from that.

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Or at least be allowed to work fewer hours while you stabilize more fully? Many people in the US get short-term disability.

I am at 80% right now, so that does give me a day in the week off. But to be honest, I want my job back and that won't happen at this company. Right now I'm contemplating starting my own business, since that would give me the power to work the hours that I can.

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

I would hope that in the Netherlands they would be understanding. If not, can you go on a longer type of disability? I have been on disability for a while. It has been necessary for my recovery and well-being. My Czech nephew was on disability for mental health issues in the past. CZ has a pretty good system for that.

The Netherlands is understanding, but as you can imagine, the disability laws are pretty strict. And once I'm on disability, I won't be able to get a job anymore. CZ is a very different country from the Netherlands. in CZ, they were under communist rule for quite some time.

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Were you or your wife born in the Netherlands? Or just living there? I know that people from the Netherlands usually speak nearly perfect English. It's hard to tell.

Welcome again!

We were both born and raised in the Netherlands.


Thanks for the warm welcome people.

must not forget my therapy appointment today. I forgot one a few weeks back and had to miss one last week because our car broke down during our recent vacation. My therapist is starting her vacation next week. This has actually been a month when I've really needed her. It figures how these things happen. Even my psychiatrist has been away on vacation, though I haven't really needed a medication adjustment. I need the therapy/support.

I want to thank so many people here at PC for helping me get through my challenges these past several weeks. You can't imagine how grateful I am. It makes a difference! 😘

Christina, I fully understand the stress of going away on vacation. I don't want to scare you, but those have been quite rough times for me. A suggestion I'll give is to look at your plans and discuss if some of the plans may become too stressful, and how to minimize the stress. For example, running running running from place to place is a trigger for me. I find creating a lighter itinerary helps. I also now try to give myself rest times in the hotel each day, even if that means my hubby does a few things on his own. I sometimes pick destinations based on the stress level of the airports. Airports can be major triggers for me.

Nevvy, I hope your kitty recovers soon!

Wander, it may take time to see a positive change. I know that waiting is frustrating. Please stay safe.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I am getting through the day somehow. I had started a Mirapex increase last night. I have found it starts helping, to some degree. almost immediately. It does have some GI side-effects. Mostly nausea and, in some cases, vomiting. When people first start taking it, it is important to slowly increase in small increments until one knows how one will respond. If people can tolerate the GI effects, then it can be very helpful with depression. I have increased it quite a bit, so I have some GI side-effects, which will quiet down soon.

July is also a month full of sad anniversaries. My wedding anniversary on July 4th...and we all know that story. I've lost 2 brothers, each in July. I've lost 4 family members in a plane crash... all in July.

My depression and my PTSD both go bonkers in July. In addition to July anniversaries, my former pdoc had theorized that I was so stressed at home (when not in school) that my cortisol levels were much higher during the months I was on school vacation. One's body can learn that pattern and can continue to repeat it.

Summers are notoriously very hard for me.

Anyway, spent a decent day with my mom, just doing paperwork, etc., while sitting around the table together, making calls and doing paperwork. She likes to learn a bit more about computers, so I help her with that. I don't know much; yet, I know enough to help her out.

I did change my home security company today. It was a great deal through AARP and ADT. Much more comprehensive and less money per month than our current home security company. I am adding some additional sensors. Installment in a week.

I have already changed all of the locks. I have also changed the gateway, the modem, the network, etc., in hopes of avoiding any further remote clearing of computers (pictures, etc.). The internet provider came and helped me to change up things and also made the network invisible (nobody can see it in order to break into it.). Take that! I wish it were that entertaining; it's not. and !!!

So we (mom and I) are feeling more and more secure. I wish the night terrors would stop. They are very intrusive in nature. I am often trying to get rid of someone trying to remotely take all of my favorite videos and pictures. One night, I was trying to rescue pictures sent to me by Bird Dancer, by Jennifer 1967 and by ~Christina!!! Lol!

Those are the light-hearted dreams. They get very dark otherwise and I won't get into it here.

I hope everyone had a good Monday, also known as Prime Day, as Bluebicycle has informed us.

Did you buy anything today due to the big sales?

Love to ALL!

I should clarify:

I do not have pictures of BirdDancer, Jennifer1967 or ~Christina. I only had pics in my dreams.

[komodo1971]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I hope you find the information and the support you may be seeking.

thanks.

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Many of use were misdiagnosed for years.

I know this. But it also makes me doubt my diagnosis now. I just find it hard to come to terms with the idea of being chronically ill. But then again, I've been in and out of depression and really weird episodes I now know are manic episodes with psychotic features, for years already.

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I am sorry you must deal with both BPI and PTSD. You will find you are in good company with one or both of these diagnoses.

I receive therapy for my PTSD. I survived what caused it and I will survive it too.

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Many of us have issues within our marriages/primary relationships due to the course of our illnesses.

Yes, I just hope I can hang on to this one.

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

We all have mood changes and tend to show them as we write/share here, so please don't be concerned about your mood as you write.

Thanks for introducing your self to us. We are happy you are here with us.
Please make yourself at home!

Thanks. I will

[komodo1971]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Sounds YUMMY!

I am going to make mango coconut habanero chicken with wild rice and assorted veggies. I just love this! I cheat and use a pre-made sauce.

I LOVE to cook myself too. This sound good.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Nevvy

As usual, things look up for me and then something terrible happens. My cat ran into something and got badly injured and we had to take her to the vet where they told us she has a tumor that she busted open and they will have a problem getting rid of it because of the spot. They knocked her out and did what they could to stop the bleeding and she's okay for now...

We need to come back in a week to see if they can do anything because she was making so much of a mess that the vet couldn't even see the wound. My cat has a cone now and I am trying to baby her back to something resembling her old self but she's so weak right now, I dunno.

I hear today if I got the job, hopefully.

I guess that's my life, possible good things followed by garbage :/

Hi Nevvy!

Oh dear! I am so sorry your cat is not well.
I hope she recovers soon.

i hope you get the job if it's best for you .

Please keep us posted.

[Wild Coyote]

So, last night my sister had texted me, asking me if I was free to talk with her privately on the phone?

I was "horsing around" on text , writing things I would only write to my baby sister, and.... ooops! One of my texts was somehow sent to my pdoc.

I'd quickly sent an apology, stating the text was meant for my sister.

About 45 minutes later, my pdoc calls and suggests changing up meds a bit.
She could tell I was hypo.

The med I had increased was amping things a bit. It can rapidly send me into a hypomanic state and I was having a great time!

And so we'd changed things up a bit.

I did not sleep last night and am quite irritable today. : I hope things will chill by tomorrow.

Love to All!

I need help. I can't do this anymore. I hurt my family, and I'm just a burden on them anyways. I'm sick of the pain that is whatever the hell I have. I'm overwhelmed by this life. I cant take it. I see my new therapist Thursday and my new doctor Monday. I'm really not safe but I cant go back to the hospital for a third time this year. They wont help anyways...

[fern46]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

So, last night my sister had texted me, asking me if I was free to talk with her privately on the phone?

I was "horsing around" on text , writing things I would only write to my baby sister, and.... ooops! One of my texts was somehow sent to my pdoc.

I'd quickly sent an apology, stating the text was meant for my sister.

About 45 minutes later, my pdoc calls and suggests changing up meds a bit.
She could tell I was hypo.

The med I had increased was amping things a bit. It can rapidly send me into a hypomanic state and I was having a great time!

And so we'd changed things up a bit.

I did not sleep last night and am quite irritable today. : I hope things will chill by tomorrow.

Love to All!

Oops! I am thinking maybe that mix up was the universe helping you out a bit. It was a good thing your doctor spoke with you when she did. I hope the med adjustment works out well for you soon. Hang in there.

[fern46]

Originally Posted by spikes

I need help. I can't do this anymore. I hurt my family, and I'm just a burden on them anyways. I'm sick of the pain that is whatever the hell I have. I'm overwhelmed by this life. I cant take it. I see my new therapist Thursday and my new doctor Monday. I'm really not safe but I cant go back to the hospital for a third time this year. They wont help anyways...

So sorry Spikes. It sounds like you are in a really tough spot. I'm glad your therapist appointment is soon. Hopefully they can help while you wait for your pdoc appointment.

Are there any coping skills that work well for you? I've found different things work at different times. I know it is just a temporary distraction, but a bunch of distractions strung together can equal a day of activity.

I know you don't want to go back to IP, but please don't hesitate to get more help if you need something immediate. I'm pulling for you. Hugs.

[Scooter9]

It's been 4 weeks on 300mg of Wellbutrin and I was undecided about whether to increase it.

My pdoc suggested I wait 2 more weeks to find out if there's more of a response.

So I'll try that to find out how it goes.

I often get to this point, where the med works but only partially. I hope this works out this time.

Wellbutrin made me manic and led to my bipolar diagnosis a number of years ago. My pdoc says the latuda I'm taking this time will protect against that happening again. So far so good.

[Blue_Bird]

I've been struggling a lot lately, agitation and wishing my life was over.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by spikes

I need help. I can't do this anymore. I hurt my family, and I'm just a burden on them anyways. I'm sick of the pain that is whatever the hell I have. I'm overwhelmed by this life. I cant take it. I see my new therapist Thursday and my new doctor Monday. I'm really not safe but I cant go back to the hospital for a third time this year. They wont help anyways...

Hi Spikes!
I am sorry you are experiencing such a difficult time.

I sometimes feel much like you are describing. No fun! I often am not sure of how to hang in until I can get to the other side of things.

I agree with fern. I think distraction is a very helpful tool when we are feeling down and out and/overwhelmed.

I am in a place in my life where I could give up because it all feels so hopeless. Yet, when I spend a day keeping busy with distractions, I do so much better.

Our brains need a break from whatever we might be obsessing about. Our bodies often need a break, too.

It can be tough to get into distractions; yet, it is not impossible! It may take some practice. : )

I am so grateful for distractions! I'd truly be nuts without them.

I hope you can take this hour-by-hour, day-by-day, etc. That's the strategy I must use when feeling overwhelmed.

It's not long before you see your therapist. I hope you can hold on until she sees you!?

I think it's great that you could reach out here! We'll do our best to support you through this very trying time.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I've been struggling a lot lately, agitation and wishing my life was over.

Hey there, Blue_Bird!

I am so sorry you have been struggling .

Is the agitation new for you? Does agitation signal some type of a major shift in your mood?

For instance, I tend to get very agitated when I am hypomanic! I get funny and then agitated! Kind of strange! Rofl!

Is there a reason for contacting your pdoc sooner , rather than later?

Please take good care! Keep reaching out here!!! We'll do our best to support you!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Scooter9

It's been 4 weeks on 300mg of Wellbutrin and I was undecided about whether to increase it.

My pdoc suggested I wait 2 more weeks to find out if there's more of a response.

So I'll try that to find out how it goes.

I often get to this point, where the med works but only partially. I hope this works out this time.

Wellbutrin made me manic and led to my bipolar diagnosis a number of years ago. My pdoc says the latuda make this time will protect against that happening again. So far so good.

Hi scooter!
Oh, Geez! So sorry you have been feeling so very unwell.
Will you be able to wait for the 2 weeks to see if the Wellbutrin kicks in?

Glad you are also using Latuda in order to help in balancing out mood swings
I am hopeful for you!

I hope all goes very well over the next two weeks! please do reach out if you need any support/help! We are here for you!