[yellow_fleurs]

Hi everyone. I was curious about your experiences with emotional regulation and if it's something you've had issues with. I recognize I sometimes do. I know this can be linked to personality and I guess that could be part of the cause for me. However, while being emotionally sensitive in some ways is part of my nature, whatever has been going on with me seems not like me me if that even makes sense. I just don't really feel like myself, even though this has been going on for awhile now. I think intense anxiety is maybe part of the cause for me, leading to irritability out of fear. Or, like I get stuck in an emotional loop that's in my brain and I need to not get sucked into it. Growing up, I dealt with feeling depressed, but I was never known to be quick to anger or have outbursts. Yet I feel like something must have changed because I do struggle with anger/irritability now.

Okay so now I am rambling, but I also wanted to ask what works for you in terms of this. I really am thinking mindfulness and meditation might be helpful for me. I woke up angry for no reason and was able to release some of that with a meditation at work. I also think exercise helps and getting enough sleep. Feel free to share what works for you if you have any tips.

[unicornlady]

Getting enough sleep is paramount for me. Otherwise I am an irritable mess. After that, probably exercise, mindfulness, meditation. All of those are definitely helpful.

In addition, I need to let myself actually feel the emotions - so checking in with myself about how I'm feeling regularly. If I don't do that, it builds up into worse anger/irritability/frustration. I'm finding that acceptance is key - and not trying to justify things too much. So if I'm happy, I try not to question it, and if I'm depressed, I try not to beat myself up for being depressed. That's what works for me.

[~Christina]

My particular version of Bipolar doesn’t let me have the woooohoooo I’m happy the world is shiny and new kinda hypo.... when I have unexplained anger it’s almost always a mood shift going on ...

Cope?? All the typical are used, music, exercise, meditation, etc etc etc

When I just can’t deal and I need to break something kinda anger?? I keep ugly cheap thrift store dishes, the uglier the better and I’ll smash a plate or 5 , I do place them in a bag first because I damn sure don’t want to clean up the aftermath.

Some people have told me it’s unhealthy to actually go ahead and break something. My T is impressed with this method.

Sorry you are struggling

[Wild Coyote]

Hi! I really think a lot of you and am sorry you are suffering with this.

First of all, never assume your anger is off-base. i agree with unicornLady: Take a look at your anger and see if you can discern a message for yourself.

Any healthy coping skills might be very helpful!

FWIW: Bipolar, for me, includes times of extra irritability. I recognize the irritability and then do whatever I can do to calm things. I then keep an eye upon myself!

[bpcyclist]

Deep breathing is a real-go-to. When it gets bad, sometimes that's all I can do. It does help. I also find yoga and exercise helpful.

[USMCBIPOLAR7]

The lack of sun light really effects me so I use a light box which I keep in my kitchen since I’m in there a lot. Also I’ve been eliminating stress and fatigue by using my sleep apnea machine and limiting what tasks I put on myself. I’ve been stable now a few months and feel great doing these things.

[unicornlady]

Originally Posted by USMCBIPOLAR7

The lack of sun light really effects me so I use a light box which I keep in my kitchen since I’m in there a lot.

Light box really works for my sister who has depression. Makes me manic. But I tend towards mania anyway.

[USMCBIPOLAR7]

Originally Posted by unicornlady

Light box really works for my sister who has depression. Makes me manic. But I tend towards mania anyway.

I have a seasonal pattern with Bipolar 1 , so I get severely depressed in the fall/ early winter and have hypo mania February through April then mania usually around May. Every year for 30 years now.

[fern46]

I can relate to getting sucked into loops. My analyst brain naturally looks for patterns, so I am trying harder to analyze them when they come up. One thing that has helped me is to do what I call a proportional response check. If my responses are out of proportion for the situation at hand I take a step back and look deeper into what is going on. I seek out the source of the imbalance and try to practice self care until I'm back in alignment.

My mind reacts heavily during hormonal shifts over the course of the month. I usually recognize I'm having an unproportional response to something and that I'm making it bigger than it is. Or conversely, I'll notice I am downplaying something important that needs more attention. I look to see what time of the month it is and there's usually a pattern to it. Recognizing that helps me see my response is somewhat irrational and then I force myself to do the work to bring it back into balance.

[Fuzzybear]

Salmon
analysing emotions
mindfulness

[*Beth*]

Emotional regulation is a huge problem for me. I am working on it in therapy, but I'm definitely not stable at this time. It seems to me that the outstanding issue is that my anger/rage happens in a flash - so fast I cannot catch it before it boils over. And when it occurs I feel justified in acting on it. Not good.

I hope I'll be able, eventually, to answer this post with healthy and effective suggestions.

[Fuzzybear]

Emotional regulation isn't working well right now

I know some of my triggers and I need to avoid some of them

but I've just triggered myself by being 'stupid'

Definitely anxiety, stress, and related frustrations can trigger strong reactions from me, at times. Hormonal fluctuations, like fern mentioned, definitely can, too. I've dealt with these things (save the hormonal) since childhood, and some of it is nature and some nurture.

Low stress lifestyle has done wonders for me and my bipolar disorder, but doesn't keep episodes away completely. But it, with various coping skills, calms them, anxiety, and anger outbursts quickly.

[bpcyclist]

Simplifying my life. Not making a lot of plans. Just sticking to the basic things has really helped a lot. I have a pretty rigid routine daily and I stick to it. That helps me a lot.

I had to go to a very large city last weekend to visit an old friend and it was quite difficult at times. He took me to an NFL game in a sold-out stadium, which was just way, way too much for me. But I got ahold of myself, practiced my breathing, and tried to be in the moment. I made it through without a big blowup.

[*Beth*]

I was thinking about this post and did come up with something. I see my therapist twice/week, but she is away for 12 days. If everything is fairly "normal" I will miss her and our session, but I will make it okay through the 12 days.

Of course, there is daily life (stress) to cope with. Before she left, my t. asked me to choose a small item from a box she had. I did, and we talked about the item, we held it together, and so on. The idea of the item is for me to have it nearby so that if I feel super-stressed, ungrounded, etc. I will hold the item in my hand and allow it to help me remember to stop, breathe, and ground myself...to bring myself back to center, rather than shoot off in all directions and end up with regrets and consequences.

Initially, I was having difficulty with the concept. I thought, what can this little plastic thing really do for me? But as the days are going by I am feeling more attached to it, and finding that it holds a grounding energy for me, after all.

So there's my idea. A sacred item to symbolize groundedness and help to focus on emotional regulation.