The cool insomnia club

I've been getting up at 3:30 am (after going to bed around midnight) for the past week. I'm in quarantine awaiting COVID-19 test results and I just wake up anxious (which is weird to me - because anxiety is not a problem that I typically have). I emailed my pdoc - we'll see what he says - he's almost always really super helpful so let's hope he keeps up his track record. Note: I'm not anxious about my own test results - but mostly anxious about returning to work because it's so awful lately - I work at a hospital. I return next week. I need to stop reading shift reports i get via email because they give me heart palpitations from anxiety. I'm rambling.......

I am so sorry that you are on the front lines of this and at a higher risk. I hope your test is negative. Thank you for all your doing to care for the sick.

I pray that your hospital has all the protective gear you need to ensure your safety Hopefully your Pdoc can help you and your able to sleep better and anxiety decrease, altho I can understand it will be ongoing for now.. Rest as much as you can and stay hydrated...a nurse friend said so many health care workers are winding up dehydraited because of having to be covered from head to toein PPE that they dont find the time to eat or drink themselves .. I will keep you in my thoughts

Thanks Christina. I woke up at 2:18 this morning and still wide awake. Yikes - I had been doing so well sleeping until this all hit.

I've been binging ER and Schitt's Creek all day - two of my favorites - trying to be kind to myself!

Woke up wayyy too early. I probably wouldn't have slept at all if I didn't drug myself into oblivion last night.

Slept from 1am until 6am with multiple awakenings.

I did, at least, manage to book an appointment slot for wal-mart grocery pickup at 12am, so I suppose that staying up wasn't a complete waste of time...? I pick up groceries on Tuesday morning.

No exciting dreams like Nammu though. lol. I suppose it is because I am getting broken sleep and can't really have a dream.

Couldn't sleep last night. The WWII and the following show about Jewish surviver kids from nazi camps was too much for me. I need to stick with lighter fare. Both shows came with warnings about content but I blew that off as they were on PBS. Now I know, next week watch the midwifes then something else.

Nammu, have you tried watching a lighter TV show or movie after you watch something graphic like that? I find that I'm less likely to get upset around bedtime and less likely to get nightmares if I watch something lighter afterwards because the last thing on my mind is that lighter stuff, not the graphic stuff. Usually a comedy works for me, or a light drama will do too. I'm not a soap opera person, but I can imagine soap operas might not be a bad idea.

We did turn on Murder She Wrote witch is a comedy/drama but only watched the last half hour. Should have watched the next show too, but was tired. Yeah not planning on watching the WWII show next week.

Yeah I'd definately skip tv like that stuff right now!!!

I was a fish again.. Oh well I am up for the day ! I have to drive into town later to have my appt with Pdoc on the phone..

how far do you have to drive just to get a good signal? that sounds really frustrating.

I hope your appointments have been at least okay so far.

Its only about 25-30 mins to get there. Not a big deal.

ah, okay. Not a bad drive.

For some reason, I assumed it was a long drive -- like an hour. My friend in Lawrenceburg says she often has to drive 45 mins to an hour to get places because her wifi and phone signals are garbage.

I should probably be in bed. I am going to eat some chocolate instead ..

Fuzzy have a snack and climb into bed, get some rest !

It's after 2 am and I'm not the least bit tired. I went downstairs twice to double check if I took my evening medications. It seems that I did, but doesn't feel so. Anxiety has set in, so I took 1 mg Ativan. I hope that helps.

I even vaguely remember taking my evening meds. This sucks! If I didn't, I will suffer major consequences tomorrow. Even if I did, not falling asleep until well after 2 am will bring bad results. I don't feel manic in any way. The anxiety started later in the night.

I like my apartment better at night. I am excited because I have some new ideas about the future. I talked with a crisis counselor not long ago and it was like a real brainstorm session.

I was watching scary detective shows but now they are off the agenda. They were causing me anxiety.

I will probably do some writing and planning.

Have been having very vivid dreams and they are ruining the quality of my sleep. Usually I fall asleep easily, sleep deeply and don't remember my dreams. Now it is more difficult to get to sleep, and all this dreaming is very disturbing.

I would rather stay up. My schedule is demolished. I need to set up a new one.

I only managed 2 hours of sleep last night. I'm perplexed. Now I am fully awake again, breakfast over with, but feel an uncomfortable tremor in my body. I'm so cold that I put a full nightgown over my pajamas and am under the comforter and wool blanket with a hot cup of coffee.

Sorry to hear that, BirdDancer. Do you feel your mood is elevated? Sometimes my whole body shakes when I'm (hypo)manic -- like I'm buzzing with energy. My family has pointed out the shaking, and my grandma recognized it right away when she was still alive. Though, I don't know if the "tremor" you speak of is just from being cold (AKA shivering).

Sorry to hear about the vivid dreams ruining your sleep, DechanDawa. Do you have a PRN that can help with those dreams?

I don't know what your diagnoses are, but my cousin has PTSD and takes medication at nighttime for his night terrors. Though, sometimes Klonopin helps him too.

I'm not a doctor of course, but just wondering if you could use a PRN or something.

Thanks, bluebicyle !

I don't think I am hypomanic, but not sure. I asked my husband what he thought, and he simply stated that I've been very project driven. I guess being extra busy itself could be the culprit, but if I continue to lack sleep I will grow ill. I hope tonight is different. I just can't figure it out. I swear I took my evening meds. The cubby in my weekly pill box was empty for last night. If it takes more to knock me out than them, that's not good! I did take 1 mg Ativan at about 2 am. That's probably why I slept even 2 hours.

Maybe unrelated, but I need to lower my alcohol consumption. It's inching up again. I'm not drinking what many would see as problematic, but officially it's more than moderate consumption. This has been an issue for me in the past. It used to be well beyond moderate.

I don't take any medications. I sometimes use herbs for relaxation but they don't have any effect on the dreams. Supposedly we are all getting more REMS sleep now which increases dreaming. I don't know if this is true. I thought about calling my doctor...but I would rather not take meds. I don't have a diagnoses. Well, I guess, anxiety and depression. It's hard to treat because of these two being opposites. That's why I decided not to do meds. I would probably want diazepam and they would give me like...you know... four pills for a month...so forget it. Gone are the days of big bottles of diazepam. I should have stockpiled.

Yes. I am concerned that the increased projects and lack of sleep may be a precursor to hypomania. Glad you have a PRN though!

And yes, alcohol can definitely worsen things. If you are indeed elevated, you do not want to crash into a depression or mixed state and then have those depressive symptoms exacerbated by the alcohol, if that makes sense. And I think some people have even triggered episodes through excessive consumption of alcohol. I know you are not excessively consuming it, but my point is that you should be careful.

Surely these feelings must be exasperating?

Sorry to hear that. Could it hurt to ask about diazepam? Remember that you definitely will not get any pills if you do not ask! Worst case, they say no or give you 4 pills. Best case, they give you what you need! Plus -- and this is just my opinion -- you may actually reach a point where you absolutely need a diazepam, so I think 4 is better than nothing.

But anyway, based on what I have seen here, doctors seem to be more inclined to prescribe PRNs during these stressful times to keep their patients safe (so that they are away from coronavirus in the hospitals). So, while I cannot guarantee anything, I think people are just more understanding. I do not think you have anything to lose by asking.

Hmmm. I guess I could try. I have a new doctor and she is very receptive. I'll give it some thought. Thanks for the encouragement. I was refused by the previous three doctors...which angered me because they left me to deal with my anxiety on my own. They suggested things like guided meditation YouTubes which pissed me off. I already have a great guided meditation guy I follow...but it is for transient mild anxiety. My usual anxiety is always...medium high to high. I will give it some thought and maybe try this new doctor who I really love. Thanks!