[Moose72]

When I got home, I talked with my friend for an hour and finally had to go because I was falling asleep! I couldn't keep my eyes open! Now I'm listening to a countertenor sing Bach. Aaah! Relaxing! AND N2 is getting N3 from his gf's place tonight AND my eldest is getting him to work in the morning!

[jmariah001]

Been a rough couple of weeks. Almost separated from my husband. We decided to try marriage counseling again instead of me leaving. Don't know what will happen. My parents want me to leave him. I don't think I am ready to throw away 16 years just yet. Things are just difficult right now. Financially we are struggling. There are bills we are behind on. Especially our heating bill. Not good because it is cold where we live right now. We don't qualify for help. Already applied and got turned down. We supposedly make too much. My husband and I are both on SSDI, so we are on a fixed income. COLA my butt. When you have to pay for medicare premiums there goes your increase. They took our food stamps last month. We were only getting $16 a month anyways. What a slap in the face. Sorry for the long rant. Just frustrated right now. I am hoping 2020 is better for us. Not gonna be much of a Christmas this year either. No money for presents. I am glad we don't have kids. The only people I celebrate Christmas with are my folks anyway. My husband and I don't have any gift exchange between us. No private Christmas between us. My husband doesn't really care that much about Christmas anyways. Never has. If I only knew what I was getting myself into when I married I am not sure I would of. So much crap has happened over the years. But that is for another post. Anyways end of rant. Thanks for reading.

[Blue_Bird]

Have been depressed I guess. I need to clean my apartment. It's a wreck. I don't even know where to start.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Moose72

When I got home, I talked with my friend for an hour and finally had to go because I was falling asleep! I couldn't keep my eyes open! Now I'm listening to a countertenor sing Bach. Aaah! Relaxing! AND N2 is getting N3 from his gf's place tonight AND my eldest is getting him to work in the morning!

I’m so glad that the procedure is over with. I’m sorry it was painful Rest whenever you can

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Have been depressed I guess. I need to clean my apartment. It's a wreck. I don't even know where to start.

Set a timer for 15 mins, wash dishes or load into dish washer, scrub down all counters and sink. I’m sure you can do it all before your timer goes off... take a break , reset timer and pick up everything in your living that doesn’t belong and put away, rest, set alarm and vaccumm and dust

15 minute timer cleaning is a huge mental help for getting chores done

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Set a timer for 15 mins, wash dishes or load into dish washer, scrub down all counters and sink. I’m sure you can do it all before your timer goes off... take a break , reset timer and pick up everything in your living that doesn’t belong and put away, rest, set alarm and vaccumm and dust

15 minute timer cleaning is a huge mental help for getting chores done

Thanks Christina, I've never thought of that before. I'll definitely try it out

[fern46]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Set a timer for 15 mins, wash dishes or load into dish washer, scrub down all counters and sink. I’m sure you can do it all before your timer goes off... take a break , reset timer and pick up everything in your living that doesn’t belong and put away, rest, set alarm and vaccumm and dust

15 minute timer cleaning is a huge mental help for getting chores done

Agreed. 15 min is usually the max I get before one of my children need something. Small intervals with set goals is definitely a productive and feasible system.

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Set a timer for 15 mins, wash dishes or load into dish washer, scrub down all counters and sink. I’m sure you can do it all before your timer goes off... take a break , reset timer and pick up everything in your living that doesn’t belong and put away, rest, set alarm and vaccumm and dust

15 minute timer cleaning is a huge mental help for getting chores done

This is great advice, Christina! I remember years back when I was in a depressed period where I had zero motivation, my therapist used to tell me something similar to what you wrote. She'd help me challenge my thinking. She'd say "How long does it REALLY take to load the dishwasher? Five minutes max?" The fact is, that's all it takes. Then if you wipe the counters? Five minutes more, or less? The reward, relief, and satisfaction is worth oodles for the amount of time it takes.

My therapist would also tell me not to look at the whole big picture, if everything seemed in disarray. She'd tell me to pick one smaller project and just concentrate on that. Then...if I can/want, move on to another. A lot gets done that way. It's amazing how several 5 to 10-minute work projects, separated by hour rest periods, add up to huge productivity.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

This is great advice, Christina! I remember years back when I was in a depressed period where I had zero motivation, my therapist used to tell me something similar to what you wrote. She'd help me challenge my thinking. She'd say "How long does it REALLY take to load the dishwasher? Five minutes max?" The fact is, that's all it takes. Then if you wipe the counters? Five minutes more, or less? The reward, relief, and satisfaction is worth oodles for the amount of time it takes.


My therapist would also tell me not to look at the whole big picture, if everything seemed in disarray. She'd tell me to pick one smaller project and just concentrate on that. Then...if I can/want, move on to another. A lot gets done that way. It's amazing how several 5 to 10-minute work projects, separated by hour rest periods, add up to huge productivity.

Yep this is why I can truly say ANYONE can do something for 15 mins, although I have gotten a couple hateful PM’s saying I’m full of shyt saying that anyone can do it LOL

Mentally knowing the timer is going to off and you can quit is the key.

[Victoria'smom]

I see T tomorrow. I don't see a point. I can't communicate properly. Maybe I'll just ask how to tell when your paranoid vs. intense anxiety? If I can get that sentence out then that will be a miracle. I always feel therapy is more deserving to someone who can talk. I wish she would read my writing. I'm so much better communicating that way.

[~Christina]

I think until you get over your dysfunctional thinking that someone else deserves T more than you ..... you will just continue to sabotage yourself over and over.

[Victoria'smom]

I don't feel I'm self sabotaging. I really do need to stop thinking someone else deserves psych help more then me.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Yep this is why I can truly say ANYONE can do something for 15 mins, although I have gotten a couple hateful PM’s saying I’m full of shyt saying that anyone can do it LOL

Mentally knowing the timer is going to off and you can quit is the key.

I can't believe that any one would send you hateful PM's....
shame on them.
bizi

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by bizi

I can't believe that any one would send you hateful PM's....
shame on them.
bizi

Thanks Bizi : hug:

Well I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. Im a pretty blunt person, I do try to soften the edges. I agree with the main goal of PC is to find support but sometimes I think people need to be challenged about their thoughts or action/inactions

Things have been going my way! I applied for ID two weeks ago. I needed it for an urgent banking matter. I was told four to six weeks and it arrived in two! That's service! So i got my banking all sorted out and what a relief! So glad i don't have to wait til mid-January! Then i just made up a simple art project i like. I like doing it with relaxing jazz playing. So nice to do something without words. Seems all my other hobbies are words-intensive. So mellow to spend time in lines and shapes and colors. Then i had another good night at Scrabble, winning all my games. I'm on a six game winning streak!

Mood is mildly depressed but that's parr for the course at this time of year. Christmas is a week a way and i'm honestly looking forward to a peaceful day, counting myself lucky not to be at some pressured social gathering. I'm just not that social. I did enjoy the bit of chatter tonight at Scrabble. A man i like a lot lingered in conversation with me so it was nice to get his attention.

It's super cold and the building is reacting to it by giving off loud bangs as the materials expand i guess. It upsets my poor dog no end and she insists on climbing on my lap and she pants like she's just run a marathon! She's terrified. She doesn't mind storms but she sure doesn't like the banging. I'm typing this with her back end on one arm and her front paws on the other! Haha!

[Wander]

I’ve fallen of a cliff emotionally. My mood has tanked and SI flood me. The needle worked but for some reason (probably psychological stress) I’m drowning. I can’t stop crying. Christmas is always a bad time for me. Bad memories. I broke down talking to the registrar and he has put me on close observations ( I’m IP right now). I’m in a very dangerous head space. I don’t know exactly why now as I felt great after the injection. I did have a couple of very triggering conversations yesterday. Now I’m in trouble. I’m going to stress my family out by being sick for Christmas. But the other option is far worse. I’m feeling too much, too deeply. I can’t cope. I’m overwhelmed. I don’t even think the hospital and staff can stop this rapid decline. Thankfully I’m too exhausted to run away, but I want to. I’m trapped. Words fail. It’s bad, really bad.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Wander

I’ve fallen of a cliff emotionally. My mood has tanked and SI flood me. The needle worked but for some reason (probably psychological stress) I’m drowning. I can’t stop crying. Christmas is always a bad time for me. Bad memories. I broke down talking to the registrar and he has put me on close observations ( I’m IP right now). I’m in a very dangerous head space. I don’t know exactly why now as I felt great after the injection. I did have a couple of very triggering conversations yesterday. Now I’m in trouble. I’m going to stress my family out by being sick for Christmas. But the other option is far worse. I’m feeling too much, too deeply. I can’t cope. I’m overwhelmed. I don’t even think the hospital and staff can stop this rapid decline. Thankfully I’m too exhausted to run away, but I want to. I’m trapped. Words fail. It’s bad, really bad.

I am sorry it is bad right now. Glad that you are somewhere safe. I hope for some calmnness....sending you healing thoughts as you need them.
(((((((HUGS)))))))
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bizi

I can't believe that any one would send you hateful PM's....
shame on them.
bizi

Oh, well, I get them, too.

Harassment on the internet is a federal crime:
Harassment & Stalking | CriminalDefenseLawyer.com

[Nammu]

Just got the phone call from the clinic, no infection, no cancer, just and ulcer and some spots of concern. I have to follow up with my dr and probably on on a proton pump pill. So whew.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Thanks Christina, I've never thought of that before. I'll definitely try it out

I've always found that if I can just get going on cleaning that moving into the next chore is easy! That way I get a lot more cleaned than I had planned. For example, I unload the dishwasher then put a dirty bowl from the sink. Before I know it the dishwasher is full and running and I'm sweeping the kitchen floor, then mopping it....

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Just got the phone call from the clinic, no infection, no cancer, just and ulcer and some spots of concern. I have to follow up with my dr and probably on on a proton pump pill. So whew.

That's great! I'm sure you're relieved!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Just got the phone call from the clinic, no infection, no cancer, just and ulcer and some spots of concern. I have to follow up with my dr and probably on on a proton pump pill. So whew.

Wow! Great news!
I am so happy for you!

I order a lot of gifts online. I had accumulated a number of unopened boxes and decided to open and wrap them this morning. It was the third one I opened. Inside was a cookbook of a fairly well-known cooking site/publisher. I hadn't ordered a cookbook! I started reading the accompanying cover letter to discover that a recipe I submitted was included. I submit a lot of recipes for contests and online publication. Which one did they publish? It wasn't written on the cover letter, so I started to leaf through. Of all the recipes, it was my husband's rhubarb strudel recipe. He bakes only that and an Easter bread. Otherwise, I'm the sole baker/cook of the house, and they publish HIS recipe! Good grief!

I'm happy for hubby, but yea, a little jealous. At least I can say that my accompanying story likely helped "sell" it.

Hubby is home today through the Christmas holiday. I decorated our front door and dining room wreaths. I may add fresh flowers to the one in the dining room. They still need to go up.

Originally Posted by Nammu

Just got the phone call from the clinic, no infection, no cancer, just and ulcer and some spots of concern. I have to follow up with my dr and probably on on a proton pump pill. So whew.

What a relief! I'm happy that you will have far less to worry about during the holidays.

[Sunflower123]

Feeling much better since they doubled my Vraylar. It helped that I had a great session with my T yesterday.

Getting everything ready for M to come home Saturday. It’s a good thing as I haven’t gotten but one gift for Christmas (I despise any kind of shopping but online). We’ll go out together Saturday and it will be fun and tolerable.

Recovering nicely from my fall. It’s just a big, bruised goose egg now.

I’ve worn my hair really long for years and I decided to get a short bob today. It feels incredible having that weight gone and weird at the same time. Overall, I’m pleased.

Warm wishes to all for a good night’s rest and a peaceful day tomorrow.