[Moose72]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Yes on bone is a lot more painful , my under wrist was too but as a cutter , clean 7 years it was a pain I enjoyed, I know sounds weird.

I know about enjoyable pain. Endorphines are powerful things! The feet tattoos really hurt! Meditation was what got me through it. Just like childbirth- you go out of yourself and watch from the outside!

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Thanks, BirdDancer

Today has been a good but highly unproductive day. I wish I were more motivated to do work, but I'm not (sadly).

I am pretty excited for Monday. I am getting my remote starter installed in my car!! Yippee!! No more turning on my car in subzero temps in February and sitting in it while it heats up.

I wish I could lock my car while it's turned on, but that isn't the case. It's a bit silly to me, though. My car turns on when it detects the key physically inside it. Then I can get out of the car and take the keys with me, with the car still running. Yet, I cannot lock the car even when I have the keys in my hand!! I have to turn it off to lock it. Ridiculous. (And yeah, I know it's trying to prevent you from locking your keys in the car, but if I am standing outside with the keys in my hand, how can I get locked out???)

Congrats to you! That will be very handy. I wish I could do that but my car is a 1990 and old.

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Thanks, BirdDancer

Today has been a good but highly unproductive day. I wish I were more motivated to do work, but I'm not (sadly).

I am pretty excited for Monday. I am getting my remote starter installed in my car!! Yippee!! No more turning on my car in subzero temps in February and sitting in it while it heats up.

I wish I could lock my car while it's turned on, but that isn't the case. It's a bit silly to me, though. My car turns on when it detects the key physically inside it. Then I can get out of the car and take the keys with me, with the car still running. Yet, I cannot lock the car even when I have the keys in my hand!! I have to turn it off to lock it. Ridiculous. (And yeah, I know it's trying to prevent you from locking your keys in the car, but if I am standing outside with the keys in my hand, how can I get locked out???)

My husband has had a remote starter for years, and definitely loves it during the temperature extremes. I'm guessing my husband's car is a lot older than yours. Actually, I'm sure of it. His is a 2001 Forester, but that's even "new" compared to my 1997 Honda Civic Perhaps someday they'll fix the situation you describe.

Originally Posted by Moose72

Congrats to you! That will be very handy. I wish I could do that but my car is a 1990 and old.

1990? You've got mine beat (my 1997). Well, we can say this, our cars were built to last! Actually, I'll be sad someday when I have to give up my old Honda.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

1990? You've got mine beat (my 1997). Well, we can say this, our cars were built to last! Actually, I'll be sad someday when I have to give up my old Honda.

Yes. And until very recently my car didn't have a spot of rust!

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Thank you.


I am sorry to hear about those 4 men who died. It really is terrible. Many of those who survive end up homeless too, which is awful. It's so disrespectful of our country to ignore the people who fight for our freedom. These corrupt politicians send our young men and women off to fight a war the politicians started, and then the politicians don't want to fund their treatment afterwards.


My cousin was a paratrooper in Afghanistan and he lost A LOT of comrades. I don't know how he manages to cope with those flashbacks. He is the strongest person I know. I think he copes by collecting various things, as he has a bad back from being a paratrooper and can't really walk well.

I agree 100 % our military deserves much better treatment and medical care when they come home.

No veteran should even be homeless.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

I've been ranting and a holy terror all morning. Definitely I'm not quite right. Luckily, my husband doesn't get bothered by it because he "knows his people", and none of it is directed towards him. It almost never is. If needed, I'll take a prn of some sort.


I ended up running my errands before the lunch hour. That was a good idea. I should remember that. Traffic is so much lighter and there are comparatively few people in the stores.

Awwww hun , I am so sorry you had such a rough morning I hope that your day improved

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Thanks, BirdDancer


Today has been a good but highly unproductive day. I wish I were more motivated to do work, but I'm not (sadly).


I am pretty excited for Monday. I am getting my remote starter installed in my car!! Yippee!! No more turning on my car in subzero temps in February and sitting in it while it heats up.


I wish I could lock my car while it's turned on, but that isn't the case. It's a bit silly to me, though. My car turns on when it detects the key physically inside it. Then I can get out of the car and take the keys with me, with the car still running. Yet, I cannot lock the car even when I have the keys in my hand!! I have to turn it off to lock it. Ridiculous. (And yeah, I know it's trying to prevent you from locking your keys in the car, but if I am standing outside with the keys in my hand, how can I get locked out???)

Oh remote start !! I am so happy for you , especially when you deal with such unbelievable winter weather, I have a friend that lives in Boston and has to deal with cold cars and shovels to dig her way to her car, she lives in Dorchester and often has to park a couple blocks from her home.

It is very odd that you won’t be able to lock your doors indeed !!!

Enjoy a warm car

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I know about enjoyable pain. Endorphines are powerful things! The feet tattoos really hurt! Meditation was what got me through it. Just like childbirth- you go out of yourself and watch from the outside!

Yes yes indeed

[~Christina]

Well I’m just a dummy !!

I really hurt my back when we got home from Floriduh trip unloading the car myself also in a hurry while Steve got our well back working etc..

Ibuprofen and Fkexiril didn’t seem to help , but maybe it did? Anyway days with my heating pad.

All week I’ve done very minimal house work and it’s driven me nuts.

Today I got up and felt my back was on the mend, well it’s a mess again, doh! My last load of laundry I needed my husband to get out of dryer and have him set it on out bed, then I finished getting everything put away.

Dinner was simple chicken Caesar salad. Thankfully

I’m back on my heating pad.

One day I might learn to pace myself and remind myself that I really don’t need to vacuum and clean everything daily. Ahhh my life struggle lol

Many hugs my friends

[bizi]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Well I’m just a dummy !!

I really hurt my back when we got home from Floriduh trip unloading the car myself also in a hurry while Steve got our well back working etc..

Ibuprofen and Fkexiril didn’t seem to help , but maybe it did? Anyway days with my heating pad.

All week I’ve done very minimal house work and it’s driven me nuts.

Today I got up and felt my back was on the mend, well it’s a mess again, doh! My last load of laundry I needed my husband to get out of dryer and have him set it on out bed, then I finished getting everything put away.

Dinner was simple chicken Caesar salad. Thankfully

I’m back on my heating pad.

One day I might learn to pace myself and remind myself that I really don’t need to vacuum and clean everything daily. Ahhh my life struggle lol

Many hugs my friends

what does your therapist recommend in regards to your OCD cleaning?
bizi

[Nammu]

According to my doc as long as the test results come back normal I've done my last Pap smear!!! I'm also back on ambien 2 20mg a night. Hopefully the break will work out. I didn't pick them up today so not tonight. Wouldn't it be ironic if I got a terrific nights sleep for the next few days?

Last night I slept in spurts and fits. Had a werid dream where an old stone high school turned into a funeral home. If you had lots and lots of money you could buy pills that would put you into suspended animation if no money you died and were kept in leather handbags that hung on hooks in a bathroom. The bathroom looked a lot like the one from Harry Potter with a circular sink. ( strange aside, the bathroom in my elementary school had a circular sink too. You stepped on a metal thing and water came out of a ring to wash your hands.) They went around waking people out of suspected animation and demanded more money. I was just a fly on the wall watching this unfold. The whole thing was weridly like being underwater.

Possible trigger:

During the moment of silence i had today to mark the 21st anniversary of my most serious suicide attempt

i thought of the many things i am grateful for and the one that stood out most was my home. All i had back then was an empty apartment with just a cot. Now i have a comfy cozy home that i own and it is worth every penny.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by bizi

what does your therapist recommend in regards to your OCD cleaning?
bizi

We have worked really hard..we started basics like try to skip a day , I couldn’t do it so we tried skip dusting one day , again fail. Etc etc etc

I do a lot of trance work with him , again didn’t work which normally that works at least 75% of the time.

Eventually we just had to agree and accept that it’s part of my coping skills and something I have full control over..... cleaning.

I wish because of my numerous pain conditions that I could skip a few days. Or at least pace myself to do one or 2 things a day. But I get started and well I have to finish it all.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

According to my doc as long as the test results come back normal I've done my last Pap smear!!! I'm also back on ambien 2 20mg a night. Hopefully the break will work out. I didn't pick them up today so not tonight. Wouldn't it be ironic if I got a terrific nights sleep for the next few days?


Last night I slept in spurts and fits. Had a werid dream where an old stone high school turned into a funeral home. If you had lots and lots of money you could buy pills that would put you into suspended animation if no money you died and were kept in leather handbags that hung on hooks in a bathroom. The bathroom looked a lot like the one from Harry Potter with a circular sink. ( strange aside, the bathroom in my elementary school had a circular sink too. You stepped on a metal thing and water came out of a ring to wash your hands.) They went around waking people out of suspected animation and demanded more money. I was just a fly on the wall watching this unfold. The whole thing was weridly like being underwater.

Oh Yay the joys of finally being able to skip that damn Pap smear. I haven’t had to do that since 2003 because of my hysterectomy.

I would seriously laugh hilariously if you got fantastic sleep tonight lol

Hey I grew up having one of those circle sinks too !

What a fascinating dream! Id probably my wind up in a old school flour or rice sack lol

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

Possible trigger:

During the moment of silence i had today to mark the 21st anniversary of my most serious suicide attempt

i thought of the many things i am grateful for and the one that stood out most was my home. All i had back then was an empty apartment with just a cot. Now i have a comfy cozy home that i own and it is worth every penny.

I’m so happy you had a positive day

I'm feeling pissy. I had to cancel my therapist appt for today at 11am and pay $95 for missing the appt all because some guy at work set up an interview at the last minute for 11am today. I told the guy he could do any day and any time EXCEPT 11am, and what did the asshole do? 11 f_cking a.m.. And I can't get out of it because he invited a bunch of other people, including the candidate. He told me at 7 f_cking p.m. last night that he set up the interview, which didn't give me the minimum 24 hrs I needed to cancel my therapy appt. NOT happy.

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I'm feeling pissy. I had to cancel my therapist appt for today at 11am and pay $95 for missing the appt all because some guy at work set up an interview at the last minute for 11am today. I told the guy he could do any day and any time EXCEPT 11am, and what did the asshole do? 11 f_cking a.m.. And I can't get out of it because he invited a bunch of other people, including the candidate. He told me at 7 f_cking p.m. last night that he set up the interview, which didn't give me the minimum 24 hrs I needed to cancel my therapy appt. NOT happy.

That's horrible, bluebicycle! Did you tell that person that his last minute unexpected meeting has cost you money? Is that something you would be willing to tell the person? $95 is a lot of money to lose for another person's actions.

I'm having a tough time getting going this morning. I got to sleep later than I should have, and then my initial sleep was unpleasant. To my knowledge and hubby's, I have never had any signs of sleep apnea, but every once in a while I will wake up in a startle, feeling like I can't breathe. I sometimes wonder if it is related to an anesthesia awareness event I had once in the past (where I couldn't, or felt like I couldn't, breathe). That was frightening. It was taken very seriously after I reported it, as there are generally only about 30,000 cases every year and many fewer during the procedure I was receiving. Even the anesthesiologist came to interview me about it the next day. Luckily, it never happened again.

I did eventually reach a good sleep, but when the alarm went off I was in such a half-awake state that I screamed and almost knocked it off my dresser. Hubby had been up and antsy so volunteered to do all of the morning tasks that I usually do. He put on breakfast at 6:25 am, which is earlier than usual. I went down clearly in a zombie state. Then he sweetly volunteered to make his own lunch.

I cancelled my participation in a Meetup tomorrow. I have ZERO desire to go. Actually, I am having all kinds of crazy thoughts that I won't go into. Nothing dangerous. I feel paralyzed today.

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

That's horrible, bluebicycle! Did you tell that person that his last minute unexpected meeting has cost you money? Is that something you would be willing to tell the person? $95 is a lot of money to lose for another person's actions.

No, but I plan to tell him.

He had all week to tell me when he was scheduling these interviews, and he decided to tell me at 7pm last night that "oh, by the way... you have an interview with a candidate tomorrow." I barely had time to come up with materials, too. I was like, "what the f_ck?"

Well, that's $95 down the toilet... $95 that I could have spent on groceries and other necessities. Thank god I can afford the hit to my wallet, but still... $95 is $95. It ain't cool. I needed this therapy session, too!!

[xRavenx]

Due to side effects, my pdoc decreased my one medication a little bit. I was feeling a bit better on the higher dose, so it's too bad that I need to lower it, but it didn't make a drastic difference in my mood regardless. Hopefully it will still help, even if it's just slightly.

[Sunflower123]

I’m dealing with the effects of SAD right now: depressed, unmotivated, don’t want to get up in the morning, dreading the day, can’t get moving.

My mom and I had an argument today. I’ve noticed at the age of 85, she is not as kind or diplomatic as she used to be. She can be downright combative and not listen to reason even when her health and well-being is involved. She is mildly cognitively impaired so I don’t say nearly what I’d like to. Today, she viciously put me down out of nowhere and it hurts to be treated that way by someone who is supposed to have your back. We’re not speaking at this time. I don’t know where we go from here but it can’t continue this way. It’s times like these that I think of moving out and letting them fend for themselves. I wouldn’t do that to my brother though. They both need me. Anyway, it helps to get it out...thanks.

Warm regards to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

[Nammu]

Yeah, my mum is about to turn 92. They can be very prickly. But they do need us.

[MissDenim]

I don't know how I feel...

I just spent this past week dealing with a small family emergency, and because of that, I had to cancel my therapy appointment. I could only feel defeated, only because I knew my mom felt bad about it, and because my therapist is always so busy, I had to reschedule for a month later. I still feel depressed, and grumpy, my meds still haven't fully kicked in yet.

I've always just dealt with things as they come... I've had to!

*Sigh*

[Miss Laura]

I'm still good... finished the week off with volunteering. It was good to be back in the swing of things but I'm struggling in the mornings. Not really sleeping much. Can't sleep/don't want to sleep/just antsy at bedtime.... it's just crazy. But I'm managing some how to do my week. Got a really busy week next week too. Hoping to start singing lessons on Monday if all goes well. I'm nervous but really excited too