Bipolar check-in #42

@Miss Laura: Happy Birthday! Glad you enjoyed your day! Hope you feel 100% tomorrow.

I am sorry your cat is unwell.
I hope your appetite will shift soon.

@Miss Laura Happy Birthday

happy happy birthday mis laura!~
bizi

who is hypo and not doing well......

Possibly. You should try to keep an eye on this...

I am so sorry you are hurting, WC. Sending you some relief and some solid sleep.

I will pray for you and kitty...

Now I'm hearing voices... great...
I'm actually thinking about trying to get an earlier appt. with my nurse practitioner.

Instead of thinking about it, I think you should do it. You definitely don't want it to get worse. Even if it does go away on its own, it's always good to keep people in the loop. I know for me, at least, psychosis is "episodic." My psychosis doesn't necessarily coincide with a mood episode, but I go through periods where it goes away and then comes back if my AP dose is too low. So, you have to consider that as well if it does go away on its own.

Thanks. I called but they were of no help, said I can't be seen sooner than mid-march.

Sorry to hear that.

I'm surprised they didn't even offer to let you see someone else in the same office (unless your nurse practitioner is the only medical professional in the office). Or, at the very least, they should have made recommendations over the phone. Shame on them for not helping.

When it comes to voices, I find it helpful to listen to something w/ headphones. For example, audiobook, TV, music, YouTube, etc.. The headphones really do a good job of blocking out sounds and providing temporary relief. Though, YouTube is best for me because I find it more distracting since I have audio and visual stuff to distract me at the same time.

Another thing you can do is just put on music in your house/apartment, like through a speaker or something. Just play it out loud and really focus on the lyrics. Use Spotify to find some songs you've never listened to and then analyze the lyrics. You're engaging your brain and drawing focus away from the voices.

Hi wildchildflower. How long was your kitty at the vet after the surgery? Maybe the kitty needs to stay at the vet a little longer for recovery and follow-up...for no additional money. That's something you might consider asking since your kitty seems unwell. Again, I would ask if it could be for no additional money. $7,000 is an incredibly huge amount of money and it seems like something didn't go right. If something bad happens to your kitty, I would share concern unless they clearly communicated that there were clear risks and the potential for success was not particularly good. I know that for some people near me (not too far from you), sparing $7,000 isn't always that hard, but it IS hard for most in this country. It would be next to impossible for me. My husband isn't even getting his teeth fixed because the price could be that amount. He's waiting to fly to Europe to have it done in Czech Republic. Altogether we'll get his teeth fixed PLUS a European trip out of it (for two).

Have you considered inquiring about charities that help with vet bills? The following link suggests some. I don't know if you are interested in the GoFundMe deal, but the charities (listed a bit below that, #6 or #7) may be worth contacting. Here's the link: Need Emergency Help With Vet Bills? 15 Sources of Relief Note: I have never contacted any of these organizations.

I must be misinterpreting things again because they called back and said I can be see tomorrow morning. On the first phone call I genuinely thought they were basically saying "**** off"

That's great, spikes!

I hope you accepted the appt slot and can get the help you need.

I'm contemplating about applying to MIT for a graduate certificate program. The main problem is that they require your college transcripts during the application process, and well, my undergrad GPA is nothing short of abysmal (like 2.83). Though, my undergrad degree is in a different field from my grad degree, and my grad GPA is almost a 3.8 last I checked. So, who knows what my chances are of getting in. You would think they'd weigh a grad GPA higher than an undergrad GPA, especially given that the undergrad degree is in an "irrelevant" field, or so to speak, but I'm certain there will be other applicants who have both excellent undergrad and grad GPAs. idk. Plus, there are probably PhD students who are applying to it, too.

I don't think most graduate certificates are worth much in my field, but certificates from MIT seem to be valued for some reason. Plus, putting aside the fact the program is hosted by MIT, the material seems to be incredibly useful and interesting. I'd like to enroll in the program and learn what they have to offer. I'd even try to get my company to pay for it, if they'd be willing.

Do you have to submit some standardized test score (like GRE) and/or letters of recommendation to apply? If yes to one or both, high ratings/scores might make the undergraduate GPA seem meaningless and be ignored. I remember reading that Albert Einstein was a lousy student in his youth. That didn't stop him from achieving great things later in his life.

Or maybe for certificate programs, MIT is not so particular about scores and things. Even big name schools like to make money however they can. I'm sure the certificate program is excellent. Any smart person (like you) should be able to do well in it with good effort. I graduated from a good university, but have also audited a course at one of the absolute best universities in the US. The "best" university's class was not beyond me, even though I wouldn't have made it into that university for undergrad.

Fortunately, no, they do not require GRE scores, which is good because mine are expired, but they do require a single letter of recommendation in addition to the transcripts.

Also, that's good to hear that top university courses were not beyond you. I'm not sure if these ones will be beyond me, though. They seem rather math intensive, and I am a bit out of practice with my math skills. Nevertheless, I could brush up on those skills and hopefully perform well enough to earn good grades. Though, I think they mentioned somewhere in their lengthy FAQ that they have a cutoff for grades in their program. Supposedly, you can't receive any grade less than a B-, or you're out. (I'm a flat out poor test taker, which is my main concern with these courses. I excelled in grad school because I explicitly chose courses without final exams. I suppose I could request accommodations, however.)

Thank you so much birdancer! I never thought about the fact that there might be charities. I had to put the money on my credit card and then take out a loan to pay for the rest. It’ll take me years to pay off this debt. He seemed Like he was doing much better this morning. I think maybe the pain med just knocked him out. I’ll check on him when I get home today.

Again, thank you!

You're welcome. Here's another resource to explore: Are you having trouble affording your pet? | The Humane Society of the United States

Again, I've never contacted any of them and don't know what they can and can't offer, but it's worth inquiring. I certainly assume (or at least hope) that any recommended through the Humane Society would be OK.

I find headphones can help with the voices quite a bit. Have you tried them?

Excellent!!

Go for it, blue.

On my way up to the lab to have my blood drawn. Need to be sure all these 10 million meds I am on are not killing me, I guess. Wish me luck.

Headphones do help, but I listen to music mostly from my computer and I pace around a lot so I need to invest in some good wireless headphones (used to have a pair but they broke). The ones I have now keep me tied down to the computer area and irritate my ears. Luckily the voices aren't constant or extremely bothersome. I've had loud music going on all day though.
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On another note, I'm already stressing about my appointment tomorrow. I'm convinced she won't help me/will try to hurt me somehow. Plus the roads are going to be crap.

I cannot sleep.

Gonna write... But Not too much, I have to sleep!