Bipolar check-in #42

I'm kinda worried that I am being pushed into management by my boss and peers. I don't want to do management. Management means travel, and travel means immense stress. I just CAN'T cope with travel. I CAN'T.

All I want is a job where I drive to work and then drive back home. No airplanes, no trains, no busses, no boats, nada. I want ZERO travel.

My therapist thinks I'd make a "good boss," but I don't care. I DON'T want to travel. It's always international travel here. I absolutely WILL quit my job if I have to become a manager who travels. I became an irritable, paranoid, hypomanic person last time I went overseas. And the same thing happened the time before that. I do NOT want that sh_t happening again. I'd rather have NO job than be tormented every single day.

I don't know what the f*** is wrong with people in thinking that travel is "always good." No, it is NOT good for everyone. Not everyone wants to travel. Not everyone is stress free. Not everyone wants to cope with all the bullsh_t that travel comes with. Why don't people get that??? I am not some kind of superhuman.

Sorry for the rant, but I really hate where my job is going

you are pre diabetic with the metformin???? I would have to say that you are diabetic now and need more DM medication.
How is your A1C? It is a blood test and is a better indicator of your diabetes.
it should be 6 maybe 6.5....at the most. Find out what yours is. ASAP. Your doctor could have your A1C run every 3 months, the life of your red blood cells.

bizi

I'm kinda worried that I am being pushed into management by my boss and peers. I don't want to do management. Management means travel, and travel means immense stress. I just CAN'T cope with travel. I CAN'T.

All I want is a job where I drive to work and then drive back home. No airplanes, no trains, no busses, no boats, nada. I want ZERO travel.

My therapist thinks I'd make a "good boss," but I don't care. I DON'T want to travel. It's always international travel here. I absolutely WILL quit my job if I have to become a manager who travels. I became an irritable, paranoid, hypomanic person last time I went overseas. And the same thing happened the time before that. I do NOT want that sh_t happening again. I'd rather have NO job than be tormented every single day.

I don't know what the f*** is wrong with people in thinking that travel is "always good." No, it is NOT good for everyone. Not everyone wants to travel. Not everyone is stress free. Not everyone wants to cope with all the bullsh_t that travel comes with. Why don't people get that??? I am not some kind of superhuman.

Sorry for the rant, but I really hate where my job is going

Too much time passed since I saw my dad. He called me the other day, which he almost never does anymore. I promised I would visit, but I dreaded having to go. What I did was to email my sister and ask if she was going to visit him, and if I could meet her there. It's far less painful and stressful that way. Even so, I had a lot of anxiety. Luckily, she suggested this afternoon, so I jumped on it to get it over with.

My dad hardly said anything, so my sister and I were talking. Five times, my dad stood up and walked out of the room without saying anything. [Not angrily, more like a person with dementia.] Finally I asked him why he was doing that and he stated he wasn't interested in the conversations. I said "Well, you can start one you like or ask us questions." [As if he'd ever do the latter.]

"I have no questions", he said.

It's not like my sister and I didn't include him or bring up topics he used to be interested in. We talked about birds, at length. History he used to be interested in. But despite that, he still got up and walked out of the room. Truth is, he can't concentrate, and has had difficulty throughout his life. Or, he talks at you, but not with you and if it isn't all about him, then there's nothing of interest.

When he was still home, he often stood up and left even 15 minutes after I'd arrive from a 38 minute drive. He didn't exactly invite me along, especially after he knew I disapproved of his drinking. Now at the assisted living, there is no bar to go to, but he does the same and chats with other residents. In a month he will likely return home. We all kind of dread that.

Dad suddenly wants to buy a new car. We don't even think he should drive anymore. He doesn't have a clue how much money he has. He thinks he's rich and has gone around telling everyone in town he is, for years, so people ask him for money. He's not poor, but could be if his spending is uncontrolled.

He's had some tests that indicated cognitive issues, and others where they said he was just fine. They're still just giving him antidepressants. His depression has lifted, and physically he looks much much better, but he's not right. I can't diagnose him with bipolar disorder. My siblings and I have told about 8 doctors to consider it, though. Whatever!

I'm kinda worried that I am being pushed into management by my boss and peers. I don't want to do management. Management means travel, and travel means immense stress. I just CAN'T cope with travel. I CAN'T.


All I want is a job where I drive to work and then drive back home. No airplanes, no trains, no busses, no boats, nada. I want ZERO travel.


My therapist thinks I'd make a "good boss," but I don't care. I DON'T want to travel. It's always international travel here. I absolutely WILL quit my job if I have to become a manager who travels. I became an irritable, paranoid, hypomanic person last time I went overseas. And the same thing happened the time before that. I do NOT want that sh_t happening again. I'd rather have NO job than be tormented every single day.


I don't know what the f*** is wrong with people in thinking that travel is "always good." No, it is NOT good for everyone. Not everyone wants to travel. Not everyone is stress free. Not everyone wants to cope with all the bullsh_t that travel comes with. Why don't people get that??? I am not some kind of superhuman.


Sorry for the rant, but I really hate where my job is going

Well you have been tormented for so long now. Meds just aren’t helping enough. I know many people who have ECT and then meds seem to work better. There are lots of people who have had ECT here that could give you lots of info. Maybe start a thread asking for info ??

When I first wake up I'm a little wobbly on my feet, but that's because of the anaesthesia. You're right that they're inducing a seizure, but it's only taking place in the brain. The body doesn't seize because the anaesthesiologist also gives you a muscle relaxant which prevents them physically reacting along with the cerebral seizure. To put it simply, I'm a little dizzy and unsteady, but not so much that I don't go to the coffee shop immediately upon leaving the hospital.


Initial course of treatments and IP stays. Yes, that was my experience for the simple reason that I live 2 hours from the hospital and they schedule 3 treatments/week (MWF) for 3 or 4 weeks to sort of get an extra boost at the start. So I would suspect that if you live close enough to the facility where you're getting ECT that driving back and forth isn't an inconvenience they'd be ok with that. Of course, you're going to have a driver to get you home so it may come down to driver availability over any actual clinical reason for IP. But it's not like you'd look back on a 4 week stay IP and bemoan the food and boredom of the ward. You won't remember the initial series at all, at least I don't. Now, however, I am much more alert and functional after ECT. I come home and do dishes, laundry, tune my bike up, all sorts of activities I wouldn't have thought possible in the early stages of ECT like back in 2016 when my maintenance was still every other week.

I've probably given you more than you were looking for. I hope I didn't bore you. Feel free to ask anything else that comes to mind.

@childofchaos831 and @falcon09: There used to be a thread dedicated to ECT in the subforum titled Bipolar Treatments. I scrolled through trying to find it but couldn't. You might have better luck than I.

I found this. Is it what you were thinking of?

ECT Experiences

YES! You rock! Where was it? Was it in the BP Treatments section? I went back and forth trying to find it.

Honestly I just remembered you posted there and thought you'd started the thread so I went to your profile and searched there. A few pages back it was there. I'm bored tonight....

I wish they didn't take the threads down so soon although I'm sure there is a reason.

Thank you for not thinking I'm a freak going through your history

I've been having a hard time keeping up with PC these days... Don't have the energy or motivation to read all the posts. Know that I am still around, but I've been struggling bad. Today wasn't that bad, though.

Glad today was a bit better , it’s a start

Yes 22 , I record them on my DVR the channel that has these marathons don’t always play every single episode of a season, which blows !

It’s my all time favorite ever TV series.

......I had a few drinks tonight as i felt at wits end. I've taken six times my dose of Clonazepam and am hoping it will kick in soon. I feel being a drunk and a junkie are viable options at this point. They say boredom can't kill you, but you might wish it could.