Bipolar check-in #43

Well my husband had a Dr Appt today. A couple weeks ago his sister had horrible headaches and they found a brain bleed so she was immediately taken to ICU and many MRI’s and scans taken over a week ... they didn’t really find a specific reason, but the Doctor told her to let her brothers know that it’s likely heredity since there Mom died of a aneurysm. His sister is having follow up MRIs every 10-12 days.

My husband has been having terrible headaches they present like a migraine. But because of his sisters emergency he’s getting blood work done tomorrow they want to make sure his kidneys are healthy because they want the scan with and without contrast some time this week.

So it’s another stress.... ( deep breathing)

Hugs to all

Feeling good. I’ve had a pretty good week. Not hearing things. Racing thoughts are gone. Thanks Li and risperidone. (Funny note. Spellcheck changed risperdal to dispersal )

That’s truly frightening about your husband’s sister. I hope your husband’s blood work turns out favorably and that they can do the scan this week. Sending love and prayers your way.

Today I see my psychiatrist before his 6 week vacation in Europe. I'm always nervous about his long absences. I'm not going to talk about France, today!


I went to fill my pill boxes, and couldn't find the bottle containing my Seroquel XR (quetiapine ER) 200 mg pills. [Note: I take Seroquel XR 400 mg pills, too.] I was certain I had filled the 200s, recently. Last week, I remember noting that "the new quetiapine ER 200 mg pills" look exactly like my Tegretol XR (carbamazepine ER). Different manufacturer? After an investigation, it seems that I took extra Tegretol XR pills in lieu of the Seroquel XR 200 mg. Today my pharmacist said my insurance approved a refill for the Seroquel XR 200 mg, so I guess I hadn't had them. You know, I'm not that old and yet I often screw things up. I did notice a reduction in my sleep this past week, on the lower dose of Seroquel XR (from 8 hrs to 5 or 6). I also noticed an increase in my already existent clumsiness/carelessness, likely from the extra Tegretol XR. 1,400 mg of Tegretol XR is surely above my therapeutic level. Hubby always tells me to "be more careful", but that's not easy. I'm not deliberately being careless.


Last night was my first group French class at the adult school. I enjoyed myself! There are maybe 12 students. The level is extremely easy for me, yet I still find value in the review. I think I'll stick to that level. As many here could imagine, I was among the most active participants in the class. [Always am.] When we split off into pairs for an exercise, my partner seemed to have amazingly good French. Turned out she was a French professor observing the new French teacher's performance. After she told me that, I humorously responded, in French, approximately, "So, that is the reason for my intimidation!" but she was nice.

Hey, Id not waste time taking about France.. I’m sure he will help you feel better. You really must have him order lab work... you might need to skip a few days to let your level drop.

Yes the mixing up of pills. Years ago like 9 when I just imploded I was at one time taking so many doses of meds a day ... I screwed up a lot.. the only thing that saved me was taking different colored markers and drawing an X on tops of any pills that could be confused. So when I picked up that bottle I was reminded by that big blue X .. Red , green etc to pay much closer attention. A few times I’d ask my husband if I was holding X Med in my hand.. maybe ask your husband to just watch you fill up the box ?

Anyway it helped remind me to double check..I was so drugged when I was recovering from my descent into hell. It’s so easy to get them confused ! My new PsA Med ? It looks exactly like my cholesterol pill

Fantastic news about enjoying your French class !

Hope you have a great appt with your Pdoc

Morning Blue

Maybe the new dose has dropped your blood pressure to low ? Normally a lower blood pressure has a calming effect. I was put on Minipress it’s another lowdose blood pressure med to help me sleep but it’s also shown to decrease ptsd nightmares. Well it dropped my blood pressure too low and my body reacted by keeping me up and moving,on high alert “ fight or flight mode” not nearly as awful as what your going through.... but maybe the increase is having an opposite reaction too?

Honestly I have no idea why you are unable to get freaking Cogentin ! It’s not a benzo, it’s not a scheduled drug, it’s a freaking Med for tremors from Parkinson’s disease etc and it is very often a needed Med if a person is on old school Haldol , Thorazine and practically all APs going.

Pdoc 101 is give Inderal and if no help add Cogentin if that doesn’t help then the offending Med just isn’t doable.

I have personally never heard of a bad reaction to Cogentin I’m sure it could cause something of course but it’s honestly in general a Med that will either help or do nothing at all.

I hate seeing you suffer this way for so long I’d like to slap your Pdoc

Another suggestion for keeping meds straight filling up med boxes-- I just set each one off to the side after putting that one in the compartments. I have am and pm, and do them one at a time.

Ugh. I think I'm going to check in medically regarding my head. Think it's safe to say I sustained a concussion. I've started having visual disturbances -- third day now. Cloudy and blurry, fortunately just on the side that got hurt. Sigh. Really don't want to have any more medical bills right now.

Really hate myself right now. I can't sleep because of crap weighing on my mind. I need to get this out. So many of you have suggested therapy/seeing a pdoc to me. Well, this is actually a hot button issue. You see, I've tried it and while I had someone to listen to me at a particularly difficult time in my life, I was ultimately paying someone to just listen to me talk. I could do that here and get better feedback! Second therapist was a little more extreme in the other manner. Talked about herself too much and spoke slowly too so it wasted my precious time. Third therapist (same clinic as first) was for DBT. Only went 4 sessions before we came to the conclusion that this wasn't helping me. First of all, the stuff was like common sense to me. I was already doing similar things from yoga meditation in the past as well as my hubby s logical advices (he may lack emotional empathy, but he's very logical which helps me think less "borderline" like). Anyway, oh and we also canceled because I couldn't do certain exercises for x, y, and z reasons.

Moving on to the pdoc. As I mentioned already (in my journal thread), I'd spend hours trying to set appointments, wait in the waiting room and only get like 10minutes of time to talk and we'd discuss the same b crap every time. Other than getti g my meds, it was not worth it. Waste of tons of time and money because I'd have to make an appointment for EVERY refill! My GP can do this over the phone.

So, while I don't value the thoughtful advice, it just may not work for me. Oh yes, and the fact that I don't really have a ride to go there anymore either. And that it frustrated the heck out of my husband because he wasn't seeing any progress (not that there necessarily wasn't progress, but he pays the bills and wanted to see progress. I can at least understand that.)

Anyway, so yeah, just know that this is why I'm super anxious about my next meeting with my GP because he also seems to be hinti g at therapy too and I privately messaged him that it did help some. He already knows my husband's feelings on the matter. I'm anxious about talking about some of the things that are bothering me about my marriage as well, because it might come as a shock to my husband...although I've tried to tell him things many times. There is one thing though that I haven't yet addressed and I've finally figured out exactly what I need (I think). It's one of the love languages. He doesn't show me love like I need it. He shows me how he needs it. He's very stubborn about this, but I need to make him understand the importance...

Sigh! Ok, I think I'm talked out.

Check my journal thread if you can. I do worry that no one will read it, hence coming here right now, but maybe now youll know. I dunno. I've gotta get to bed now, or at least try. Goodnight!

Today I see my psychiatrist before his 6 week vacation in Europe. I'm always nervous about his long absences. I'm not going to talk about France, today!

I went to fill my pill boxes, and couldn't find the bottle containing my Seroquel XR (quetiapine ER) 200 mg pills. [Note: I take Seroquel XR 400 mg pills, too.] I was certain I had filled the 200s, recently. Last week, I remember noting that "the new quetiapine ER 200 mg pills" look exactly like my Tegretol XR (carbamazepine ER). Different manufacturer? After an investigation, it seems that I took extra Tegretol XR pills in lieu of the Seroquel XR 200 mg. Today my pharmacist said my insurance approved a refill for the Seroquel XR 200 mg, so I guess I hadn't had them. You know, I'm not that old and yet I often screw things up. I did notice a reduction in my sleep this past week, on the lower dose of Seroquel XR (from 8 hrs to 5 or 6). I also noticed an increase in my already existent clumsiness/carelessness, likely from the extra Tegretol XR. 1,400 mg of Tegretol XR is surely above my therapeutic level. Hubby always tells me to "be more careful", but that's not easy. I'm not deliberately being careless.

Funny, last week my nephrologist asked when I last had a Tegretol level. I told him that my psychiatrist is "delinquent" about ordering them. Truth is, I seem even more delinquent.

Last night was my first group French class at the adult school. I enjoyed myself! There are maybe 12 students. The level is extremely easy for me, yet I still find value in the review. I think I'll stick to that level. As many here could imagine, I was among the most active participants in the class. [Always am.] When we split off into pairs for an exercise, my partner seemed to have amazingly good French. Turned out she was a French professor observing the new French teacher's performance. After she told me that, I humorously responded, in French, approximately, "So, that is the reason for my intimidation!" but she was nice.

Another suggestion for keeping meds straight filling up med boxes-- I just set each one off to the side after putting that one in the compartments. I have am and pm, and do them one at a time.

Ugh. I think I'm going to check in medically regarding my head. Think it's safe to say I sustained a concussion. I've started having visual disturbances -- third day now. Cloudy and blurry, fortunately just on the side that got hurt. Sigh. Really don't want to have any more medical bills right now.

You really, really need a psychiatrist, giddykitty. Don't know how else to say it.

Anybody here read "Electro Boy"? I'm on page 79 of 273 and so far no mention of bipolar. Its all about his jobs.

Hi Moose. I had mentioned a while back that I read "Electro Boy". I have even met Andy Behrman.

I don't want to give away anything, but further down the line in the book you'll realize that his behavior becomes pretty out of control. I'll say that he's not exactly a choir boy type to begin with, but his behavior at points becomes way far beyond his "stable self". He has been married (to a woman) for some years now, and has children. It's amazing how bipolar mania can make people do things that are far different than their baseline selves. Like many of us, he has crashed from mania into depression.

Anybody here read "Electro Boy"? I'm on page 79 of 273 and so far no mention of bipolar. Its all about his jobs.