Bipolar check-in #43

10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bizi

What did you wash/coat the fruit with? it looks so good!
You are quite the baker!!!!

Thanks, bizi. I brushed the fruit with a mixture of melted apricot jelly and water (2/3 cup jelly and 2 tsp water). Other flavors could also be used. That not only gives the fruit the shiny look, but also slightly helps in keeping it in place (so blueberries don't roll off). I much prefer this over the gelatin-based glazes you sometimes see. It's also easier/quicker. The only possible advantage to a gelatin glaze is that it might help preserve some sliced fruit longer, but my tart is usually eaten up quickly enough that that is not necessary. Also, some people pile the fruit pretty high, requiring an even firmer "glue". I don't.

My pictured tart has a cheesecake type custard and a Nilla vanilla wafer (sponge biscuit) based crust. Not a diet version. I also have a more traditional custard version, and even a lowered carb version. The low carb version I sometimes make has an almond flour crust and a custard made with cream cheese, Greek yogurt, vanilla, and Swerve confectioner's. They're all good.

~Christina · Feb 20, 2020, 08:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

Really trying to get off smoking. Tried to quit cold turkey but came to the conclusion that was going to be a no go coming off a pack a day habit. So for this week I'm down to 6-8 cigarettes a day. That's a whole lot better than 20+. And I switched from full flavored to ultra lights. I'll just keep dwindling them down.

Yesterday was rough. I ended up taking the day off work, which I rarely do.Nicotine withdrawal hit me hard, I had major muscle aches and fatigue. And I had a total mental breakdown as I was about to leave for work. Balled my eyes out for a half hour. Was having female issues too, so I went and saw my PCP yesterday. While I was at my PCP, I scheduled for a physical. That will make my pdoc happy. He's been wanting me to do that.

Also had a good conversation with my mom about a bunch of stuff yesterday. She's been so supportive this week.

Today is upward and onward. It's been a difficult week for me. Still waiting on biopsy results. Looking forward to going to work this morning. Feeling loads better this morning.

I quit roughly 10 years ago , I had tried to quit dozens of times on my own. Well I tried Chantix .. you smoke the first week while taking the Med, I used half the daily dose. Day 3 I was forcing myself to smoke, Day 4 I lite one and damn near threw up .. I stayed on half the regular dose for a total of 4-4.5 weeks and after day 4 never craved another.

I am the worst hypocritical non smoker on the planet, I honestly gag if I have to walk near a crowd smoking or if there is a smoker in line to check out near me. I am so embarrassed that I use to smell like that..

My husband quit the same way. You do have to want to quit. But if smelling smoke make you want to hurl this is The way to do it.

Most insurance covers it.

Feb 20, 2020, 08:53 AM

For Fuzzybear:

Amateur Photographer Captures Three Bear Cubs '''Dancing''' In The Forest - LADbible

May we all dance together with joy today.

Wild Coyote · Feb 20, 2020, 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wander

Possible Trigger - SI

University begins in five days. The Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue is getting worse, and my hip is still causing major issues. Despair is flooding in. I don't know if I will cope with the load, and if I can't I don't know if I can cope with the loss. I am not depressed, but still very suicidal. No one can help me or fix this. All I can do is wait and see what unfolds. I'm scared I won't make it. Sorry to be so down. I have tried so hard to stay positive. Living a life so limited physically and mentally(cognitive) is not one I want to live. This has to improve ASAP.

Hi Wander,

I can relate to your current situation. As you know, I also live with a few chronic illnesses. I have similar issues. We go out on a limb (at least a bit) and we are a bit hopeful once again! It's a miracle we can be hopeful enough to try again, only to have our hopes shattered again. It is a loss!

Is there any chance you could do the coursework at home, if needed?
Others have mentioned accommodations at the school as well.
Are there provisions in place should you experience a relapse of any type?

I wish I had a fix to offer.

As you know, many of these conditions tend to cycle. You are not always in a relapse, which is helpful, but not the case today.

My heart goes out to you!

We are here for you.

wildflowerchild25 · Feb 20, 2020, 10:09 AM

****. Now I have pink eye. I went to the real dr today, not urgent care, and she also diagnosed me with a sinus infection. That would explain the awful pain I’ve been having in my cheeks and forehead. So now I’ll have an oral antibiotic and antibiotic eye drops.

She also wants me to go see a cardiologist. My pulse is usually high, around 100, but today it was 119. She had an ekg done, and it showed one of my abnormalities ( I already had one but my dr wasn’t concerned bc it was the same on all my scans) has worsened. **** me. The cardiologist is in the same complex as my dr so I went over there and got an appt for April 17th.

I just want to feel better! I have **** to do on Saturday! I don’t want to miss it.

Feb 20, 2020, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Yes paid idiots are everywhere unfortunately.

I hate to see you continue to struggle like this.

It’s sad that you live in a big city yet finding a good Pdoc has so many road blocks between insurance or mandatory Therapy.

Do you have a rough idea of how many times you have called ? Maybe ask if he ever returns calls or does idiot always return calls ? I have research cogentin it seems the most logical next step because I truly can not handle this non stop inability to just sit and rest ? Or something like that ??

I don't live downtown anymore. I used to up until recently, though. But I stay out of the city nowadays because the traffic is awful and aggravating.

The idiotic lady always returns calls; he never does. I can certainly ask why he doesn’t though. It seems kinda lazy when all the other pdocs in this office return calls themselves?

I am thinking about telling my therapist tomorrow when I see her. They work in the same office and she reported his former assistant before. Maybe she can do something about it.

I have called at least 4 times already and they do nothing about the akathisia.

I am sure my therapist will be a tattle tale behind my back and tell my pdoc that I stopped my rexulti, but maybe that would be a good thing.

Feb 20, 2020, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

****. Now I have pink eye. I went to the real dr today, not urgent care, and she also diagnosed me with a sinus infection. That would explain the awful pain I’ve been having in my cheeks and forehead. So now I’ll have an oral antibiotic and antibiotic eye drops.

She also wants me to go see a cardiologist. My pulse is usually high, around 100, but today it was 119. She had an ekg done, and it showed one of my abnormalities ( I already had one but my dr wasn’t concerned bc it was the same on all my scans) has worsened. **** me. The cardiologist is in the same complex as my dr so I went over there and got an appt for April 17th.

I just want to feel better! I have **** to do on Saturday! I don’t want to miss it.

That sucks, wildflowerchild! I hope that you start to feel better soon on the antibiotic. I hope the EKG doesn't show anything that concerning. I am treated for tachycardia, and have been for (10 years???). The medication I take for it is great. It does the job with zero side effects for me. Hopefully you won't need a medication, though. You have been under a great deal of stress lately. I am sending well wishes that the stress eases soon, too.

Fuzzybear · Feb 20, 2020, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

For Fuzzybear:

Amateur Photographer Captures Three Bear Cubs '''Dancing''' In The Forest - LADbible

May we all dance together with joy today.

Thank you BirdDancer

~Christina · Feb 20, 2020, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I don't live downtown anymore. I used to up until recently, though. But I stay out of the city nowadays because the traffic is awful and aggravating.

The idiotic lady always returns calls; he never does. I can certainly ask why he doesn’t though. It seems kinda lazy when all the other pdocs in this office return calls themselves?

I am thinking about telling my therapist tomorrow when I see her. They work in the same office and she reported his former assistant before. Maybe she can do something about it.

I have called at least 4 times already and they do nothing about the akathisia.

I am sure my therapist will be a tattle tale behind my back and tell my pdoc that I stopped my rexulti, but maybe that would be a good thing.

Total suckage. But what choice did you have other than to cut your dose ?? Or Did you stop it totally ??

~Christina · Feb 20, 2020, 12:20 PM

One thing on top of another

Can you work with pink eye? Usually not since it’s so easy to spread. The antibiotics should kick in pretty quick you can also take over the counter mucinex , I buy store brand but it can help break that funk lose quicker.

Lots of fluids and stay warm

~Christina · Feb 20, 2020, 12:30 PM

So as I mentioned before my husbands MRIs and angiogram came back clear so need to see a Neurologist as this constant headache presents like a migraine.

I called earliest is March 17th

he’s had this “ migraine “ solid for weeks now. They put him on the cancellation list which is great.

I call our GP and tell them nothing til the 17th , they said they would work on it , the Neurologist office just called they are fitting him in today at 1:30 ... again small town living helps us get things done much quicker than bigger city.

Of course today’s all days it’s freaking snowing.

On a happy note once Neurologist finds a medication that works our GP will take over refills. Which is a huge savings.

Ok gotta get moving

Have a good day everyone

giddykitty · Feb 20, 2020, 12:44 PM

I'm feeling ok that I got up at a better hour today, but stressing about this party and not really at all enthused about doing work today. :/

Fuzzybear · Feb 20, 2020, 12:55 PM

I seem to be quite verbal lately (not only on here)
Not sure if this is a ''good'' thing, I hope so

(lists of meds in my siggy line, not for me

)

hugs to all

Feb 20, 2020, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Total suckage. But what choice did you have other than to cut your dose ?? Or Did you stop it totally ??

I stopped it totally because I couldn't bear it any longer. Now I feel tons better. I feel less foggy headed too. It's like a light switch went on (but not in a bad or manic way).

I also wonder if it was giving me anxiety because I totally just went grocery shopping in the middle of the lunch hour with lots of traffic and lots of people there. Normally, I'm super sensitive to my surroundings and feel very anxious around lots of people/traffic, which is why I have (literally) gone days without eating before when I've run out of food in the past. Today? Not so much. I persevered!

Moose72 · Feb 20, 2020, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wander

Possible Trigger - SI

University begins in five days. The Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue is getting worse, and my hip is still causing major issues. Despair is flooding in. I don't know if I will cope with the load, and if I can't I don't know if I can cope with the loss. I am not depressed, but still very suicidal. No one can help me or fix this. All I can do is wait and see what unfolds. I'm scared I won't make it. Sorry to be so down. I have tried so hard to stay positive. Living a life so limited physically and mentally(cognitive) is not one I want to live. This has to improve ASAP.

Do you have an action plan written out? Is there an emergency number to call at your pdoc's? As much as your brain is telling you not to I think you should reach out to those whose job it is to help you. You won't always feel this way. I call this "brain bad" when i get SI. I also try to distract my brain- read or watch Netflix or call a friend. It usually works- only once did I ever get hospitalized. I'll skip the details of that.

Moose72 · Feb 20, 2020, 01:34 PM

I am cleaning for a few minutes, then I'm going to pick up N2 from work. Been a relaxing cleaning kind of day. Too much coffee though- had a second cup- now I'm wired!

bpcyclist · Feb 20, 2020, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wander

Possible Trigger - SI

University begins in five days. The Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue is getting worse, and my hip is still causing major issues. Despair is flooding in. I don't know if I will cope with the load, and if I can't I don't know if I can cope with the loss. I am not depressed, but still very suicidal. No one can help me or fix this. All I can do is wait and see what unfolds. I'm scared I won't make it. Sorry to be so down. I have tried so hard to stay positive. Living a life so limited physically and mentally(cognitive) is not one I want to live. This has to improve ASAP.

I am so sorry you are struggling with all this, Wander. I have been there with the SI stuff. It was so bad when I joined PC, I really thought I would not survive. But I did. And you can, too. Don't give up!! Maybe there is a change that can be made to help with your depression med-wise?

Sending you strength and support!!!! You can do this!!! Stay strong!!!!

bpcyclist · Feb 20, 2020, 02:22 PM

The increase in Wellbutrin seems to have helped a bit, on 450 now. I've been on that dose before, so it is nothing really new. Will see pdoc in a couple of weeks and we will maybe reduce the Depakote a bit. That would be nice.

Was able to do 55 miles on the bike yesterday. It was a bit harder than it should have been, with insane winds, like, 25 mph. Brutal. Got passed by a guy in his thirties who made me look like I was standing still, which was not so good for my ego, but hey, I am not in my thirties, am I? At least I was out there, doing it.

Sending hugs and love to all, especially those struggling with physical and emotional pain. We can do it!!!!

Fuzzybear · Feb 20, 2020, 02:29 PM

I don’t think I have ever found cleaning relaxing.. I tend to have a lot of anxiety and sub optimal thoughts when my brain is not fully engaged in a task. Maybe mindfulness might help

Feb 20, 2020, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

The increase in Wellbutrin seems to have helped a bit, on 450 now. I've been on that dose before, so it is nothing really new. Will see pdoc in a couple of weeks and we will maybe reduce the Depakote a bit. That would be nice.

Was able to do 55 miles on the bike yesterday. It was a bit harder than it should have been, with insane winds, like, 25 mph. Brutal. Got passed by a guy in his thirties who made me look like I was standing still, which was not so good for my ego, but hey, I am not in my thirties, am I? At least I was out there, doing it.

Sending hugs and love to all, especially those struggling with physical and emotional pain. We can do it!!!!

OMG! 55 miles? That would be like me riding my bike from my house to Brooklyn, NY. I'd surely be dead by that time. Actually, I'd likely not even make it 20% there. You're doing great!

Moose72 · Feb 20, 2020, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I don’t think I have ever found cleaning relaxing.. I tend to have a lot of anxiety and sub optimal thoughts when my brain is not fully engaged in a task. Maybe mindfulness might help

I put music on. It fills the gaps in my brain and gives it something to do.

Feb 20, 2020, 03:23 PM

I'm feeling a bit better after a good night at Scrabble. I won all my games! I played a new man, handsome and about my age. I felt nervous and rattled. I had a big play with PANTIES and i was so nervous to play it but i managed to. He didn't react. I played some good words with him and was pleased to do so well.

My doctor hasn't replied to my email. I guess going up on the Lamictal is an option.

Sunflower123 · Feb 20, 2020, 05:09 PM

All my tests this week have turned up good results. I’m both happy and relieved.

Still doing well.

Warm regards to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

Feb 20, 2020, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

All my tests this week have turned up good results. I’m both happy and relieved.

Still doing well.

Warm regards to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

Congrats, Jennifer! I'm happy to hear that your tests gave good results.

I know how daunting it is to wait for test results, especially ones that imply bad things might be happening.

fern46 · Feb 20, 2020, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

The increase in Wellbutrin seems to have helped a bit, on 450 now. I've been on that dose before, so it is nothing really new. Will see pdoc in a couple of weeks and we will maybe reduce the Depakote a bit. That would be nice.

Was able to do 55 miles on the bike yesterday. It was a bit harder than it should have been, with insane winds, like, 25 mph. Brutal. Got passed by a guy in his thirties who made me look like I was standing still, which was not so good for my ego, but hey, I am not in my thirties, am I? At least I was out there, doing it.

Sending hugs and love to all, especially those struggling with physical and emotional pain. We can do it!!!!

55 miles? Amazing!!!

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Bipolar check-in #43

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