My little post of all my ****ed upedness so I don't spam the board!

How do I not be so needy? I kept H up until 6 am talking about all my fears of seeing T and need to be reminded I'm real. I'm so scared because she's not squishy and will be making a decision whether I see pdoc earlier. I'm also extremely confused. What I don't understand is I know I'm wrong but I feel it's true. I mean I have parents, siblings, require food, meds, therapy, medical insurance other help. Let's face it if I was made I wouldn't have CP. The government certainly wouldn't recognize me as a person. I wouldn't find this confusing. We as a family need a higher level of care but I don't think that exists.

Hey there, Mm, I hope the appointment today is productive.

Thank-you bethrags my appointment's not until 3 and the anticipation is killing me.

It is psychosis supposedly it's very serious. She mentioned I'm not a threat so no hospitalization yet. I didn't tell her about the thoughts I had weeks ago. She wants me to take my prn to sleep and eat 2x a day. It sounded like she was weighing the hospital.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom It is psychosis supposedly it's very serious. She mentioned I'm not a threat so no hospitalization yet. I didn't tell her about the thoughts I had weeks ago. She wants me to take my prn to sleep and eat 2x a day. It sounded like she was weighing the hospital.

I'm glad you went. Are her suggestions helpful for you right now?

T seems to think I'm going to end up hurting myself. Even though I don't think I will. She wants me to see pdoc.and not use sleep to excape it. Her suggestions were mainly distract myself. She wants my anxiety treated. A lot of it was hold on help is coming kind of thing. It was good but scary how serious she took my current issue.

I'm glad she's taking you very seriously. I believe she should

I'm glad she's taking you seriously. You are getting help and that's very good. Even if you go inpatient you will be where you're safe!

It was unnerving. I'm usually able to laugh stuff off but she wouldn't let me. I teared up afterwards and I have no idea why. I'm becoming quiet again and confused what to believe. Honestly it shouldn't matter if I'm real it's not like I'm not doing anything different from the outside. Well I am but I shouldn't be. I'm isolating, confused, yesterday my head was loud but today it's quiet. I kinda hope my dr wants to see me early but that's also really scary to me.

So I called my center. They have no idea why they called yesterday. They set up another therapy appointment and then let me go. I didn't tell the receptionist what's going on. I'm not caring as much today so I guess that's good. I don't know.

I'm so glad you're continuing to post on this thread, Mm. Psychosis can be so rough and confusing, especially without the support of others who know what it's like to be there.

Sending you Do you feel you are getting the treatment you need? My case manager calls me every so often to check in so that's good. When youre in crisis like it sounds like you are, you deserve more attention and care from your mental health professionals. Feel better!

Today I'm calmer. I have trouble recognizing when I'm in crisis. Is this a crisis? I don't feel I'm steps away from the hospital, I never feel that way though. I'm safe enough, I need to show my treatment team I don't need the safety of the hospital. I see T 1x a week, Is that not enough? I see pdoc in 12 days. That doesn't seem to long from now. My H knows and is reassuring me but I hate being needy. I hate to change my medication but pdoc is going to want me to. I think I'm getting better, IDK. I wish this didn't come with so much self advocacy. I want to see if I can make it to my next appointments.