Bipolar check-in #47

Yes, I had a cat for almost 20 years. he was mean to everyone, but loved me.

I placed a Whole Foods order for delivery a little while ago, as I have a number of times in the past since this pandemic started. They text me if/when a product is out of stock. It seems to be that they are frequently out of stock of several different products they clearly advertise online as still being available. Sometimes I wonder if they are really out of stock or if they are just trying to get me to agree to substitute a different (and more expensive) product so they can add to my final bill. Texts are just flooding in. I wanted naan bread, but they wanted to give me pita bread. No, not the same thing! My husband wanted plain epsom salt, but they wanted to give us lavender scent. Ok, but it's 50 cents more. I wanted burger for kafta kabab, but they say it's out and want to send me bbq flavor burger. No, kafta kabab doesn't use bbq flavor burger. Sorry!

The Whole Foods near me is not in the middle of nowhere. I wonder why they STILL can't keep shelves stocked. I think some people have started returning to stores for shopping, but many are still ordering online. When you look at the coronavirus maps across the US, my state's and NY state's total YTD numbers have reduced a lot, but then are now leveling, but not zero. We have to be very careful. As of the last time I announced this, California has remained number 2 (after New Jersey was # 2 for a long time), Texas has now become #3, and New Jersey now # 4. It looks like Florida will take over #4 pretty soon, unless New Jerseyans get too lax. Illinois is not far behind that.

Last week the entire section of ice cream and frozen treats was sold out. Not sure why but it was only that section, hand sanitizer appeared to be in stock like some magical unicorn

As far as meat several of the processing plants for various meats have been closed due to many covid positive workers...they don’t want us to get covid from our burgers so meat production is down....because of that some farmers have also made changes etc etc.

I'm glad I bought some ice cream a while back, then. I guess with July 4 weekend, people like their cold desserts! How hot is it where you are? It's getting nasty hot and humid where I am. At least I own an ice cream maker, if things get really bad.

It's just so disturbing what is happening in meat packing plants across the country. And prisons are particularly hit hard, too. According to today's NY Times numbers, a Marion, Ohio correctional facility has had a total of over 2,400 cases. I can understand how such a place would be a breeding ground for virus, but I wonder how hard some of these places have even tried to curb it. The list of prisons, meat packing places, and nursing home clusters cases goes on and on. I even saw that Trenton Psychiatric Hospital in Trenton, NJ (my state's capital) has had 279 total cases. Trenton Psych is not exactly where most want to go. It's usually where people with little money or the longest term severe illnesses go. I know a couple people who've been there.

Poorest people dying from covid 19? Elderly dying in nursing homes and other places from covid 19? Prisoners dying? Psych patients dying? Low income workers dying? And everyone else. There are some people who just don't care. That's scary!

We released a bunch of people from prisons just before covid hit for that reason...

If I had the land I’d start a garden this year just in case they can’t get the crops to market.....

It's good they released them. I'm sure they were prisoners that didn't pose that much of a risk to others.

All I have to offer are fresh herbs, I'm afraid. I have little land. My brother raises chickens and has been selling eggs for years. I haven't seen my brother since just after this started, even though he lives only 35 minutes away. We're not fighting, but this has just put an even greater distance between people. My brother has heart problems. He just can't afford to catch covid 19. It's funny, my current town's borough area (I'm in its burbs) has just recently, in the last weeks, allowed residents to start raising chickens (no roosters), if they have at least X amount of land. I wonder if covid 19 plays into this?

My mom and sister have stage four cancer....I cannot see them because they are immune compromised to due chemo....if I brought covid home it would be lethal for them. So I get how you feel.

Given that egg shortages were among the first to happen here I can totally see wanting chickens 🐓

Gotta pay rent today, and renew my lease, very nervous

That is horrible for your mom, sister and your whole family! I'm sorry they have such extreme challenges during this very challenging time. I wish I could see an end to the coronavirus here in the US on the horizon, but I can't. If only all people would take this very seriously. That is the chain of support that we need to overcome this.

The chicken emoji is adorable.

The weather here is awful, hot and humid. Mum and I are in a war over the AC with me turning it Dow and her up. I can't stand high humidity.

Got some Ben and Jerry's in the freezer and the ad in the paper has it on sale. So getting more tho I'm in the mood for orange sherbet.

Meat packing companies are responsible for high numbers here. They tried to cover it up but it came out. It was obvious cause this is a rural area and suddenly we have hundreds of cases. Two counties over though it was the college students hitting the bars that pushed their numbers up. Fortunately no long terms homes have been affected in my county, knock on wood.

Oh my gosh, Sometimes--I am so very sorry. Added to the prayer list.

Those huge corporations don't care about anyone.

Thank you bpcyclist.....

I had a good therapy session today. She said she can tell I’ve made real progress. It was awesome that I made it a week without anxiety meds.

I took mom down to float and to get ice cream before folks were out. I have Coronavirus fatigue. Always trying to be careful.

My daughter is going to be in town over July 4th weekend. She’ll be staying with her dad since he’s not well but I’ll still get to see her for dinner coming and going. Can’t beat that. Glad I got to see fireworks from a parking lot outside of Dollywood. It’s the only ones I’ll get to see this year. It’s just getting too dangerous out there.

If I don’t post again, I hope everyone has a nice July 4th and can find some way to enjoy it. Love and hugs to all.

Just pray for me, that's all I can ask for. Homelessness sucks, but I can't keep living in my car and my funds are so low I don't have a choice but a homeless shelter. I hope my car will be ok.

Thinking of you.

Sorry to hear that, Marcus. I hope the shelter helps you and that things improve for you soon.

Did a lot of work today. I impressed myself, apparently. I had been struggling for so long that I FINALLY did something right for once.

I was talking to people all day throughout the week because I was being a lazy bum and couldn't motivate myself to do any work. (No, this lack of motivation is not depression. I just find the work incredibly boring. Not that something being "boring" is a valid excuse, but you know what I mean...)

In other news, I have a therapy appt tomorrow, so I am kinda looking forward to that. I get to decompress and talk about some things I have been dealing with for a while. I hope to sneak in a bike ride before then, though.

How long til that first amazon check?

I’m sorry you are in that situation. Prayers coming your way.

I start the 12th, weekly pay apparently on Fridays . I work Sunday through Wednesday 10 hr shifts

I'm dealing with my husband being away for 12 hrs and just coming home for bed. I know right now we have to do this but idk, it sucks.

Good job!!

I assume you have exhausted all other available options for you until you get your feet under you?

Certainly praying for you!!!!

@MarcusAurelius: Sending good thoughts and prayers your way. I was homeless for six weeks when i was about your age. I know how hard it is. I found i could get food and clothing for free but no one is going to give shelter for free -- at least not a permanent place. Hang in there! You'll make it, just take it hour to hour...