Bipolar check-in #48

I feel totally hungover, even though I do not drink or take drugs. Maybe it will get better.

Albert is acting like he is on meth. My legs and arms are so scratched up, they actually hurt. He has all these toys and I play with him with them, but he really just wants to climb up my legs and attack the phone. How do I stop this behavior? I do not know what to do. When our dogs used to get like this, we just went to the dog park, but cannot do that here...

Hugs an d love.

Does he have a cat tree?

I’m doing a lot better then I’ve been doing these past few days. I’ve still had thoughts and feelings but not like the last 3 days. I know I usually do better on Fridays Saturdays and Sunday's. Which I don’t get since I don’t work and every day should be the same. I did take the increase in Geodon this morning. So I went from 60 to 80. I couldn’t do that before because the 80 in the morning made me too tired to work. I took it at 3AM and then I went back to sleep. Then I got up at 5:30 and took my other 2 meds and tried watching TV but I was too tired and went back to sleep until 8:30. But I’m not tired now and I’m not having any other side effects which is good. Hopefully the increase helps.

This is it for now. He climbs the spokes up the wheel. Does not seem to like this short scratching post. Do I need sthing else?

I got my cat a tall scratching post from a farm store. He loves it cause he can streaches out while he's scratching. I don't have room for a cat tree or those lovely multi level play grounds but I made room for this post. It has thick rope wrapped around it and he's nearly cut it in half despite the fact I clip his nails! He loves it. I had one of the short ones but he didn't love that.

It's a lovely, lovely day out. Calm, sunny and not too hot or humid. As soon as the shade covers the deck I'm going out to enjoy it.

I’m still having a really tough time with depression and hopelessness. I find some relief when I float or sit in the sun but there’s only so much of that you can do in this weather (it’s 91F). I’m reading as well and my daughter will call tonight. I really appreciate the support and concern. I’ll be okay. It’s just unusual (and unwanted) for July.

I’m going back up to Gatlinburg at the end of July. I’ll keep my mind set on that.

Warm regards to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

Still stuck in mixed mania (day 10 or 11). Feel like utter crap. Does anyone get brain zaps during mania or depression? I know its common with med withdrawal. I'm however not withdrawing.

I thought a day or so ago that mania was fading, was totally convinced of it. Positively. Am not anymore. Blegh.

Sending positive thoughts to others.

I wish I could shut my brain off.

It's friday and I'm worrying about labs monday

Im sorry things are tough right now Im glad the floating is helping, I wish the good feeling lasted longer for you tho.

Life is just so difficult on so many levels and Yeah this heat??? Oh my god ! I know its summer but why why why why so miserable

I'd focus on Gatlinburg too

I am enduring swings of depression, but it does not last long.. I think anxiety and stress is causing this to happen. I have problems at work, and with my finances. I need to work on clearing my mind and helping it focus.

Thanks for the hugs! The power outtages are usually from "equipment failure". No storm involved.

I just turned to see the most gorgeous sunset! Fluffs of coral clouds painted across a turquoise sky. Desert sky...it was 101 degrees today, as it will be tomorrow. Looking forward to lying down to read and watch the moon appear.

I got to wash (and shave!) my leg and foot today - first time in 6 weeks! Yay! It felt sooo good And I got my first look at the incision, which is longer and wider than I had thought it was.

I have some old Seroquel around, I might take 12mg to help me sleep. I hate to take Seroquel, of all meds. I feel like I can't manage another night of being awake for hours, though.

Sleep is just so important that sometimes ya just gotta grit yer teeth and swallow meds that give us a bit of sleep. Glad you experienced an awesome sunset. Hope the moon provides good dreams

Husband informed me that he resents that I don't work full-time (I'm on SSDI) while he has to work in the 90+ degree heat. I just got out of 5 days IP along with having ECT so it's not like now is a good time to return to work, even part-time. He thinks I'm using mental illness as an excuse.

I'm going to have to have a chat with him tomorrow. I was so shocked today that I wasn't able to gather my thoughts and talk to him. I need to tell him that it is not my fault his job requires that he is exposed to the weather. He's emotionally abusive anyway but this has to stop.

I feel pretty good today. Then again I felt pretty good yesterday and then was a complete mess last night. I wish I knew why nights have been so difficult lately. I’m not taking anything different at night. Maybe seeing the increase in covid numbers is setting me off. I look at the CDC website right when it gets updated in the afternoon. But anyways so far today I am ok and I’m still not having any major side effects from the increase in Geodon like I thought I would. So far it’s helping me sleep better.

I’d get a cat tree because they’re fun to climb and scratch...hopefully instead of your legs.....

I am so sorry, Jennifer. I am right there with you. Stay after it.

Love an dhugs.

Sorry, Swimmer. I get them when manic.

falcon, have you ever read The Power of Now? It is a classic. Might check that one out.

Hugs.

Feel better, Tucson.

One dose is not gonna harm you...

I was inan emotionally abusive relationship for a long time and finally left.

Coming out with this right after you get out of the hosptial? Serious? Does he understand the concept of timing? I guess not.

Hugs and support.

MD, I have to be very cautious what news I see. It can really set me off in terms of coping and hopelessness and powerlessness. Maybe try to sub stand up comdey for free on youtube next time and see if you feel better. Or baby animal videros. Or whatever you like.

K, thanks. Yeah, need this. He is tearing me apart.

Thanks my friend. Knowing I'm not alone is a large comfort. Having to have my kids drive me everywhere is such a pain. My wife says my eyes remind her more of depression, but my head and everything else feel like both to me. Such a weird place to be. My emotions are flashing from mood to mood.