Bipolar check-in #48

I recommend Chewy.com, and carpet covered if possibly. Our cats tend to like this better.

Yesterday was better. Was able to clean and vacuum and mopped for first time in weeks. Laughed a few times, which has been completely absent, so, that was nice. Maybe progress, maybe just a blip. Tim ewill tell. I am hoping. I am. Like most bp 1 people, I have spent more overall time in depression than mixed/mania/psychosis over the decades, but it has become unusual more recently, as in, past 5ish years, say. I am now heavily mania-and psychosis-predominant.

Kitten is shredding my body. Gotta figure out if I can trim nails or something.

Hugs.

Don’t they make nail covers for them?
Soft Claws Nail Caps for Kittens, 40 Count, Kitten, Clear - Chewy.com

Thanks. I’m going to avoid the news today and see if that makes a difference in how I feel tonight.

FWIW, I've never had a cat like the cardboard scratcher things. Mine have all had a strong preference for the ones wrapped in rope or carpet.

Some little fluffy balls might also save your skin. My 3 year olds still play with the same one they picked the night they came home. Of course they have about 15 others to choose from because my former cat only liked one color (I know it's weird) and the balls come in packs of 3 or 4. But for some reason they truly love that beat up green thing.

My guy is 15-16 years old and loves this pink felt cone. He still plays with his toys. His favorites are , tiny little fluffy mice, the pink felt cone and my hair ties. He likes me to throw the toys up in the air and then catch them. He loves his tall rope scratch pole and playing tag. I tap him on the head and go gotta, and run, he chases me tags me and then I run after him. I have to be careful not to get him too excited doing this or he forgets it's a game. He does love his beds too, there both by Windows so he can watch outside.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist One dose is not gonna harm you...

No...if it was only one dose. Since I stopped taking Seroquel some months ago my sleep has been crap. So I've been taking the low-dose Seroquel every 4th night or so so I can really sleep. My old 'script is running out, I don't want to keep taking the stuff. I feel stuck with regard to sleep.

There used to be an otc called "Simply Sleep." The stuff was incredible. It really helped with falling asleep and staying asleep. Unfortunately, it disappeared after a couple of years, can't find it anymore.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist Yesterday was better. Was able to clean and vacuum and mopped for first time in weeks. Laughed a few times, which has been completely absent, so, that was nice. Maybe progress, maybe just a blip. Tim ewill tell. I am hoping. I am. Like most bp 1 people, I have spent more overall time in depression than mixed/mania/psychosis over the decades, but it has become unusual more recently, as in, past 5ish years, say. I am now heavily mania-and psychosis-predominant. Kitten is shredding my body. Gotta figure out if I can trim nails or something. Hugs.

If you start a kitten early with trimming their claws, they will accept it as a part of life. Living with a cat with long claws is pretty much impossible. Also, their claws can tear or even be ripped out.

Hang in there.

Hilarious! Thanks.

i will look. Thnx.

I don't know if it's the depression or I'm getting sick. I'm quiet, and really just want to sleep through this. I know I need to be strong but I don't want to. I want a break from this. I'm trying to stay occupied but it's hard

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist i will look. Thnx.

I have 5 cats and they all go wild over crinkly (mylar) balls. They love to play with them by themselves and they get super happy when I tie one to a string and let them bat at it. Crinkly balls are inexpensive on Amazon.

Oh damn Thats awful for him to say that

When I was first diagnosed my Husband thought I was not working because I wanted to be lazy.. Oh hell it hurt, but My T Richard blasted off on him and made sure he understood that I have XYZ and there is no laziness going on..

If he is being Emotionally abusive then oh yeah that has to stop !! I am so sorry that your dealing with this

I'm always around if you need an ear

Here I am in Sunny Tucson. It went up to 107° today. My car needs to be fixed, but I do not have all the money for that. I am still having episodes of depression, but it does not last very long. I think it is knowing that my car needs to be repaired, which will be costing me money that I do not have yet, started this. Also not getting to bed at a regular time probably did not help. I need to exercise more. Taking the dog for a regular walk and help me.

It's been five days since i've been off Scrabble. Things seem to be better. No intense frustration or anger. I've gotten back to some simpler hobbies and have been heard to laugh a few times. The days have been a lot steadier tho i still have daytime depression that eases in the evenings. I'm very sad about Scrabble tho. It's hard to give up something i put so much work into and my one toe-hold in the world. But doing something that makes me unhappy makes no sense.

I guess there is always the possibility that not spending so much time and effort on Scrabble will allow me to find a new passion. But i doubt it. I had a hard time quitting a drop-in that was making me unhappy. Once i did, i didn't replace it with a new activity. I just seem to be getting more and more inactive. I'll qualify for seniors centers in a year (55) so that's a possibility. But that's still a year away.

Hugs to all who struggle!

So I graduated from cast to a "walking boot." The thing is wild! I kinda love it. Platform sole, straps and buckles and lots of Velcro! And there's a button on the side that you can push to inflate the inside of the boot. That feels great, like my lower leg and foot are being hugged all around.

If only I had a boot for my other leg I could paint them both a bright color, string some lights on them and I'd be just like Elton John in the '70's

I've been in walking boots several times over the years and I like them too! I would constantly inflate and deflate mine though - LOL.

Husband and I had a productive talk tonight regarding his outburst over me not working and him not appreciating what I do around the house/for him. I think we really made some progress but we need to keep the lines of communication open.

Thanks As I posted above we had a really good chat tonight. I do need him to agree to meet with my T who will set him straight - and I think he will.

[QUOTE=whatever2013;6887331]It's been five days since i've been off Scrabble. Things seem to be better. No intense frustration or anger. I've gotten back to some simpler hobbies and have been heard to laugh a few times. The days have been a lot steadier tho i still have daytime depression that eases in the evenings. I'm very sad about Scrabble tho. It's hard to give up something i put so much work into and my one toe-hold in the world. But doing something that makes me unhappy makes no sense.

I guess there is always the possibility that not spending so much time and effort on Scrabble will allow me to find a new passion. But i doubt it. I had a hard time quitting a drop-in that was making me unhappy. Once i did, i didn't replace it with a new activity. I just seem to be getting more and more inactive. I'll qualify for seniors centers in a year (55) so that's a possibility. But that's still a year away.

Hugs to all who struggle!

[/QUOTE
Open your mind up, whatever, there are a million options...

Hugs.

B-B-B-Bennie and the Jets...

Albert slept all the way through the night for first time, a gift. He wakes up when first light appears, before 5 here, as we are waaaaay north. Got to the store and got some food. So grateful I have a little.

Yesterday not as good as day before, but not hideous. Maybe today will be a bit better. I keep hoping.

Hope you guys all have good days. Hugs and love!!!!!!

over the weekend I have been trying to sort out my cds- getting rid of old ones I no longer want

today I came across a cd of the fun lovin criminals given to me by my brother dan before he passed away. wow, so many memories attached to that album,
not all good, either.

feeling worthless and like their's not really any point. mentally and emotionallyh, really struggling. so I through a couple of cds out. big deal, it's
hardly going to change the world- and I have so many other problems to contend with

I made a mistake when I thought my brother was moving to the shore. Apparently my SIL can’t leave the county due to her job (prosecutors office). I’m not sure where they will be moving to as they hate out town but it’s the cheapest town (which is not saying much, houses in decent neighborhoods still run 225k+, plus the taxes are outrageous) in the county. I guess they are just looking to get a bigger house. I wouldn’t know, because he hasn’t contacted me. I’m afraid to reach out to him again because I’m afraid they’ll just say they are too busy to talk. He said he would call this weekend but I have my doubts.

I haven’t been able to sleep well without medicating myself. Up into all hours of the night until I finally break down and drug myself. I have klonopin and seroquel. Last might I opted for klonopin, though 3x my prescribed dose. Seroquel, even just 25mg, makes me sleep the entire rest of the day.

I am just feeling such guilt. I wish so desperately that I could go back to ten years old and step up and take care of my brother. Not disappear on him. Maybe things would be different. I know I can’t be stuck in the past but it’s hard. The only thing that sticks out in my mind is that his wife is always calling me “the favorite child”. Like my life was peachy keen and his was miserable. I just don’t understand that. I spent the majority of my teen years in and out of hospitals and long term residential treatment. It was not fun for me. But he believes her.

I can’t even begin to describe the guilt I feel for my awful relationship with my late husband.

But that’s for therapy. Just a lot to unpack.