[*Beth*]

Whelp, I'm getting bored with breathing the smoke in this room, so it's time to move into the bedroom and breath the smoke in there as I climb into my ashy bed with a book.


I saw a pig on the news that was found by firefighters today, poor pig was panting from dehydration. The firefighters gave it water and packed it off to take to get medical care. I have high hopes for that pig; she's a survivor.

[Pookyl]

Thanks BethRags. My barista is also bipolar and I do hope that I brighten up his day.

[Polibeth]

Had appointment with pdoc today which went well - I adore him. However, he still wants me to remain on maintenance ECT every 8 weeks for at least another year. ECT has taken its toll on my memory and brain so that is discouraging. On the plus side, it really does help me so it's the right thing to do.

I've been doing well after being IP at the end of June/early July. Vraylar has been a good medication for me. I'm also on the Abilify injection.

Now to work on losing 50 lbs.

the countdown has begun

in about 5 hours I am going to have my mcdonalds

highlight of the week when it comes to food. yum!

[Fuzzybear]

I can't fix my life. I don't have much to say (I posted a ''whine'' somewhere else and hope I don't get flamed, it has happened before. In that forum. And in another, very mean, forum. (not here) I try to give support and empathy to others. Maybe I'm not very good at it..)

I send hugs to anyone who feels like an ''outsider''.... (re an earlier post in this thread).I don't really think anyone is an ''outsider'' in this forum. I had a fang appointment yesterday. I need a fang pulled next week, first time ever. The dentist had mentioned a root canal a couple of years ago but said it was ok to leave it. I think I screwed up.... again.. I should have been ''brave'' and had that root canal. I suspect the tooth was already ''fractured'' then too though so it probably would have not worked. I don't like talking about medical stuff.

Papa bear and I went for a lovely walk after the fang appointment, around trees

I do not know why I am so ''ugly''... I saw a practitioner a while back who said I was ''ugly'' I have a couple of medical issues. When I spend a very long time in the bathroom I look less ''ugly''.. I do not like spending time in the bathroom (in fact its a trigger)

Papa bear thinks I am beautiful (nside and out)

People did think I was ''pretty'' years ago, before my allergies (and fur) I don't like looking in the mirror now, it makes me sad sometimes. I don't really look ''that bad'' although I have had people being cruel. I used to think .... oh I have said enough (sorry for the ''whine''... I am not good at expressing myself

hugs to all

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Jmayfair

I wish I had more to say. You all seem to know each other so well so I feel like a complete outsider. I read way more than I post. I think I signed on in February. This forum has been very informative. I was dx'd 2yrs ago after many, many years of just not knowing anything was wrong. I have lost most of the confidence I once had because it may have been "illness confidence". I am very unsure about my future.

Hi Jmayfair, I'm glad you posted

I sometimes don't have much to say (and sometimes ''too much''.. )

(I lost a lot of confidence after being dxd... I won't go into that..)

[Mountaindewed]

I tested negative for Covid. I am really relieved. I don’t know what I had though. Maybe just sheer exhaustion. Or allergies from the drastic change in weather. Anxiety maybe. I feel fine this morning as usual. We’ll see how I feel in the afternoon. But at least I tested negative and hopefully my mom doesn’t bring anything home. According to her she’s being super careful.

[Daonnachd]

Good morning. It was one of those nights of too little sleep so I got up at 4:00. I leave for ECT at 6:00 anyway so not too early. I just wish I could have some coffee while I sit here in the dark.

A'best, it's the end of the week.

[Gabyunbound]

Saw my pdoc yesterday. She said I could taper down the Zyprexa, to 5 mg for 3 days and then stop it.

But I only took the 5 mg last night and couldn't sleep. 5 hours after taking my night meds, I finally took an extra half of klonopin. I think about 45 mins later, I finally fell asleep.

I'm going to email my pdoc and ask her for the low dose of Seroquel for sleep she had offered before and I had rejected. As I've said here before, I HAVE to sleep well, otherwise I go doolally.

I don't want a possible option of increasing the Zyprexa again; I've been ravenous, and had already been gaining weight from all the comfort-eating I had been doing for some time now.

I just hope there won't be a hangover from the Seroquel. I've only taken much higher doses of it and it made me so so fatigued. I'm hoping a low dose will be different?

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I can't fix my life. I don't have much to say (I posted a ''whine'' somewhere else and hope I don't get flamed, it has happened before. In that forum. And in another, very mean, forum. (not here) I try to give support and empathy to others. Maybe I'm not very good at it..)

I send hugs to anyone who feels like an ''outsider''.... (re an earlier post in this thread).I don't really think anyone is an ''outsider'' in this forum. I had a fang appointment yesterday. I need a fang pulled next week, first time ever. The dentist had mentioned a root canal a couple of years ago but said it was ok to leave it. I think I screwed up.... again.. I should have been ''brave'' and had that root canal. I suspect the tooth was already ''fractured'' then too though so it probably would have not worked. I don't like talking about medical stuff.

Papa bear and I went for a lovely walk after the fang appointment, around trees

I do not know why I am so ''ugly''... I saw a practitioner a while back who said I was ''ugly'' I have a couple of medical issues. When I spend a very long time in the bathroom I look less ''ugly''.. I do not like spending time in the bathroom (in fact its a trigger)

Papa bear thinks I am beautiful (nside and out)

People did think I was ''pretty'' years ago, before my allergies (and fur) I don't like looking in the mirror now, it makes me sad sometimes. I don't really look ''that bad'' although I have had people being cruel. I used to think .... oh I have said enough (sorry for the ''whine''... I am not good at expressing myself

hugs to all

Hey Fuzzy....I had a tooth last year that cracked in two because I grind my teeth so hard. We tried to save it with a root canal but it eventually had to be pulled. It wasn’t bad. If your tooth was fractured, a root canal might not have saved it. I don’t think you screwed up. I have to wear a night guard now. I hope your fang removal goes smoothly. Sending well wishes.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Pookyl

Hi everyone,
Nothing much to report. My mood is low but stable - about a 3 out of 10. My anxiety after a couple of good weeks has been awful again. Three panic attacks last week needing Valium and Zopiclone. I needed x2 lots of Valium yesterday. Once to get out the door to the dentist and once to get out and catch a train to go out for dinner.
My pdoc is a little worried about me. Said she’d have to put her thinking cap on and get back to me with some solutions. In the meantime she’s upped my Seroquel IR.
I think my big problem is that I do nothing all day long. Since my best friend died a year ago I’m now basically friendless. The most social interaction I have is talking with the barista at the local cafe I grab my coffee from.
Life sucks and I can’t fix it.

Sarcosine has improve my depression in like, 12 days maybe. Might read about it. 35 bucks on amazonia. Lots of scientific studies.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Whelp, I'm getting bored with breathing the smoke in this room, so it's time to move into the bedroom and breath the smoke in there as I climb into my ashy bed with a book.


I saw a pig on the news that was found by firefighters today, poor pig was panting from dehydration. The firefighters gave it water and packed it off to take to get medical care. I have high hopes for that pig; she's a survivor.

I love piggies. Too cute.

My whole place and person reek like yours do. Sorry. We just asked like, 30 states for 50 firefighters? Got 5. They cannot stop this. No firefighters left. Apocalypse now.

Hugs and support, Bether.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Polibeth

Had appointment with pdoc today which went well - I adore him. However, he still wants me to remain on maintenance ECT every 8 weeks for at least another year. ECT has taken its toll on my memory and brain so that is discouraging. On the plus side, it really does help me so it's the right thing to do.

I've been doing well after being IP at the end of June/early July. Vraylar has been a good medication for me. I'm also on the Abilify injection.

Now to work on losing 50 lbs.

So glad you have found some things that work yor you, PB.

[swimmingly]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Hey Fuzzy....I had a tooth last year that cracked in two because I grind my teeth so hard. We tried to save it with a root canal but it eventually had to be pulled. It wasn’t bad. If your tooth was fractured, a root canal might not have saved it. I don’t think you screwed up. I have to wear a night guard now. I hope your fang removal goes smoothly. Sending well wishes.

I'm in the same boat but a different time frame. In fact one of my bipolar purchases was a mouthguard $700 that wasn't covered by insurance. Now I buy an OTC version from a bear in the Amazon. I go through a box once in about five months, total cost in a year of about $25. I had a root canal that didn't take, and a fang removal that was painless.

@Fuzzy- I wish you smooth sailing with your dental adventures. I'm sorry that you have been under so much pressure. You've been so supportive of me and I appreciate it.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I can't fix my life. I don't have much to say (I posted a ''whine'' somewhere else and hope I don't get flamed, it has happened before. In that forum. And in another, very mean, forum. (not here) I try to give support and empathy to others. Maybe I'm not very good at it..)

I send hugs to anyone who feels like an ''outsider''.... (re an earlier post in this thread).I don't really think anyone is an ''outsider'' in this forum. I had a fang appointment yesterday. I need a fang pulled next week, first time ever. The dentist had mentioned a root canal a couple of years ago but said it was ok to leave it. I think I screwed up.... again.. I should have been ''brave'' and had that root canal. I suspect the tooth was already ''fractured'' then too though so it probably would have not worked. I don't like talking about medical stuff.

Papa bear and I went for a lovely walk after the fang appointment, around trees

I do not know why I am so ''ugly''... I saw a practitioner a while back who said I was ''ugly'' I have a couple of medical issues. When I spend a very long time in the bathroom I look less ''ugly''.. I do not like spending time in the bathroom (in fact its a trigger)

Papa bear thinks I am beautiful (nside and out)

People did think I was ''pretty'' years ago, before my allergies (and fur) I don't like looking in the mirror now, it makes me sad sometimes. I don't really look ''that bad'' although I have had people being cruel. I used to think .... oh I have said enough (sorry for the ''whine''... I am not good at expressing myself

hugs to all

You are stunning and spectac, girl. A treasure. Full stop.

I look in the mirror maybe every, oh, 10 days maybe. By accident. Just never occurs to me.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I tested negative for Covid. I am really relieved. I don’t know what I had though. Maybe just sheer exhaustion. Or allergies from the drastic change in weather. Anxiety maybe. I feel fine this morning as usual. We’ll see how I feel in the afternoon. But at least I tested negative and hopefully my mom doesn’t bring anything home. According to her she’s being super careful.

yme.yay!!

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

You are stunning and spectac, girl. A treasure. Full stop.

I look in the mirror maybe every, oh, 10 days maybe. By accident. Just never occurs to me.

Thanks my friend

I wouldn't look in the mirror if I didn't have to put that cream on my face etc and floss my fangs. I don't go out much these days but when I did, and didn't wear ''perfect'' clothes, people looked at me funny, Or maybe it was because they were afraid of a grizzly bear walking down the road

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Hey Fuzzy....I had a tooth last year that cracked in two because I grind my teeth so hard. We tried to save it with a root canal but it eventually had to be pulled. It wasn’t bad. If your tooth was fractured, a root canal might not have saved it. I don’t think you screwed up. I have to wear a night guard now. I hope your fang removal goes smoothly. Sending well wishes.

Thanks Jennifer, I appreciate your post

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by swimmingly

I'm in the same boat but a different time frame. In fact one of my bipolar purchases was a mouthguard $700 that wasn't covered by insurance. Now I buy an OTC version from a bear in the Amazon. I go through a box once in about five months, total cost in a year of about $25. I had a root canal that didn't take, and a fang removal that was painless.

@Fuzzy- I wish you smooth sailing with your dental adventures. I'm sorry that you have been under so much pressure. You've been so supportive of me and I appreciate it.

Thanks swimmingly

I did wonder about having a root canal, and that it might not take. That was about 2 years ago. The original dentist my usual dentist referred me to said he had an 85 percent success rate (?).. he was very nice. He seemed a bit nervous because of all my allergies (and I was also on seroquel then but I dont think that was the issue) He was very respectful and listened. I do notice when professionals are respectful and listen. (I also notice when they are callous, inaccurate and mean )

That dentist I was referred to wasn't a ''specialist'' in root canals but did a lot of them as he enjoyed doing them. He told me about another practice where they were ''specialists''... it would have been 5 visits overall I think ... yikes. Even on seroquel that was and even then there was no guarantee. Grrrr. I wish I was really a bear and only had to see a vet, then they would put me to sleep for any ''procedure''.. they would have to

[falcon09]

out of the hospital, off clozaril and on seroquel

[swimmingly]

Originally Posted by falcon09

out of the hospital, off clozaril and on seroquel

How do you feel? I'm glad that you are out.

[falcon09]

Originally Posted by falcon09

out of the hospital, off clozaril and on seroquel

I feel sedated, I'm on a low dose of seroquel (200mg) but hopefully it'll work

[Daonnachd]

Back from ECT. Had some stubborn memory issues with this treatment. For example, there's lots of smoke but I couldn't recall why.

Overall I'm very happy with all the staff at the hospital though.

[pumpernickel1]

I was put back on zyprexa a few days ago. Have been eating alot but feel calm.

[Mountaindewed]

I’m kinda freaking out about the winter. If my depression is this bad in September when it’s 60 degrees and overcast I can’t imagine what it will be like in December when it’s 30 and snowing. Throw in post op, corona, and my move. Things could get pretty bad. I’m kinda nervous.