[Soupe du jour]

Beth Rags, I'm glad that your son enjoys his travels in Idaho. I've traveled there, as well, when my brother lived there for the navy and once when my husband and I traveled there. I found it to be a very diverse landscape state. Some areas had beautiful mountainous wilderness, while others looked almost like desert land.

I woke up fairly early, but not too early Eastern time. It was nice to open the window because the house was stale-smelling. It is also nice to hear the sounds of nature (crickets, certain birds). You know, those sounds are different where I'll move to in Europe. It's kind of interesting how NJ/PA rural areas are like comparative jungles. Though I did see/hear wildlife in Czech Republic, there isn't the dense population there as in some parts of NJ/PA. Perhaps that's just the case or maybe since habitat is less in NJ/PA, the "living population" of animals/birds/bugs are just larger in such areas, and therefore more noticeable.

I got on the scale and found that I only gained 0.6 lbs over the course of my almost 3-week vacation. Not bad, I think. Actually, I believe I had even lost some weight there, but managed to gain some of it back towards the end.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I've been working with CBT skills for several months. I really like the concept, but I have a challenging time with many of the affirmations. On one hand I believe them, on the other I think Yeah, right...

For example, I like "I am safe and sound. All is well." I have a hard time with "Everything works out for my highest good."

Anyway, persisting on...

My son and DIL have been traveling; they find Idaho beautiful. Really like Boise. My son went to university in Paris, but finds Boise fascinating. The pics he's sent of Idaho look lovely. I had no idea, thought Idaho was just potato fields I have a new respect and admiration for Idaho. I am continually amazed at how each state in this nation is its own country, of sorts. With great leadership we have so much potential! Okay, I won't get political

Did a bunch of skiing and rafting in Idaho. Spectacular. Totally insane political climate. Eastern Oregon and Eastern Washington are both currently collecting signatures in an attempt to secede an d form a new state, a super Idaho. They both despise Portland and Seattle with every fiber of their being. I am sure they will get those signatures, no problem.

[Moose72]

Here I sit on my old couch having coffee and waiting for the day to begin. About 9:00 they are coming to get the couch and I need to be ready to move some items out of the way. My mom is going to get N3 a donut- from this place that has really yummy donuts!- before she picks him up to go get the new couch. A little encouragement! Moving furniture around so the couches can fit to get through the living room. I'm listening to NPR. Haha- I'm old!

[Blue_Bird]

Good morning, have a lot of cleaning to do today. Not feeling motivated at all so hopefully I can get myself up to doing it. I honestly just feel like laying around today. Maybe I can set rewards for myself for getting certain things done. Like if I vacuum and take out the trash then I can play my game

[Daonnachd]

Good morning, all. I woke up early today so I made a pot of coffee all for myself. It wasn't selfishness, really. My wife stayed up quite late last night putting finishing touches on her thesis for her final submission so I'm letting her sleep as late as possible.

It was nice to sit in a dark house on the edge of a dark forest listening to the birds wake up.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

0138 and Albert woke me up to party. Argh. Oh well.

Sir bought up his cat toy and was playing with it on the empty half of the bed. But every time he pounced he shook the bed! He was like; what I’m not bothering you! I’m over here!

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

Good morning, all. I woke up early today so I made a pot of coffee all for myself. It wasn't selfishness, really. My wife stayed up quite late last night putting finishing touches on her thesis for her final submission so I'm letting her sleep as late as possible.

It was nice to sit in a dark house on the edge of a dark forest listening to the birds wake up.

Sounds like such lovely minutes of your day! Thanks for sharing

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

Good morning, all. I woke up early today so I made a pot of coffee all for myself. It wasn't selfishness, really. My wife stayed up quite late last night putting finishing touches on her thesis for her final submission so I'm letting her sleep as late as possible.

It was nice to sit in a dark house on the edge of a dark forest listening to the birds wake up.

Thanks for sharing

[Mountaindewed]

My moods are ok. Depression is decent. But my anxiety is awful. I just took a Xanax so I’m hoping it will do something. But it was really messing with my sleep last night. My mom was at Bath And Body Works and got me some sleep lotion and some stress relief lotion. I know the Lush sleep lotion worked really well but it’s expensive. I’m scared to try a new sleep med. The weather is a bit weird today which I think may be another reason my anxiety is off. But mainly I think I’m just stressed and excited and stuff about the surgery

But I finally found Clorox wipes. At the same Target I found them last time. The doctor called back and I talked with him for a couple minutes and he faxed over a 7 day antibiotic prescription for a UTI. I’m glad I decided to take care of that yesterday instead of letting it go on with just home remedies.

[Coolbreeze74]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Did a bunch of skiing and rafting in Idaho. Spectacular. Totally insane political climate. Eastern Oregon and Eastern Washington are both currently collecting signatures in an attempt to secede an d form a new state, a super Idaho. They both despise Portland and Seattle with every fiber of their being. I am sure they will get those signatures, no problem.

I'm in eastern Washington. I really hope that doesn't happen.

[Coolbreeze74]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

Good morning, all. I woke up early today so I made a pot of coffee all for myself. It wasn't selfishness, really. My wife stayed up quite late last night putting finishing touches on her thesis for her final submission so I'm letting her sleep as late as possible.

It was nice to sit in a dark house on the edge of a dark forest listening to the birds wake up.

That does sound calming. Glad you enjoyed your morning!

[Coolbreeze74]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

My moods are ok. Depression is decent. But my anxiety is awful. I just took a Xanax so I’m hoping it will do something. But it was really messing with my sleep last night. My mom was at Bath And Body Works and got me some sleep lotion and some stress relief lotion. I know the Lush sleep lotion worked really well but it’s expensive. I’m scared to try a new sleep med. The weather is a bit weird today which I think may be another reason my anxiety is off. But mainly I think I’m just stressed and excited and stuff about the surgery

But I finally found Clorox wipes. At the same Target I found them last time. The doctor called back and I talked with him for a couple minutes and he faxed over a 7 day antibiotic prescription for a UTI. I’m glad I decided to take care of that yesterday instead of letting it go on with just home remedies.

When is your surgery? Is it m to f or f to m? I really wish you great success with it!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Coolbreeze74

I'm in eastern Washington. I really hope that doesn't happen.

Me, too.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by Coolbreeze74

When is your surgery? Is it m to f or f to m? I really wish you great success with it!

Thanks. it’s f to m top surgery and it’s the 5th of October.

[MuddyBoots]

Urges, urges, urges...

Possible trigger:

was close to killing myself a few hours ago

but I caught myself in the middle of doing what I was doing and did some dishes and talked to a friend/my ex so obviously I didn't. Just so restless and bored. I mean I find stuff to do, but then I either finish or get bored and have to quickly bounce to another activity before I end up doing something self-destructive.
The forest is beautiful though, lots of red maple leaves falling making the forest floor top notch.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Sapien

Urges, urges, urges...

Possible trigger:

was close to killing myself a few hours ago

but I caught myself in the middle of doing what I was doing and did some dishes and talked to a friend/my ex so obviously I didn't. Just so restless and bored. I mean I find stuff to do, but then I either finish or get bored and have to quickly bounce to another activity before I end up doing something self-destructive.
The forest is beautiful though, lots of red maple leaves falling making the forest floor top notch.

Please reach out for help.. You feeling the urge is nothing to ignore, Can you go to the ER if your not able to stay safe?

I'm around if you need an ear

[~Christina]

Welcome home Soupe ... So glad your trip went well

[Sunflower123]

I needed to hand my medication over to a family member because of strong urges. I wish I didn’t go through this often. I’ve learned to surf SI pretty well and know when to reach out. I had a friend here on PC and a family member talk me off the ledge. Still down but I’ll be okay.

I’ve been getting into candles a lot lately. The one I have today is called Autumn Leaves and when it’s cool in the morning I can open the door for some crisp air, smell the candle and pretend I’m in the Smokies.

I’m going to visit my daughter this coming weekend. Looking forward to that.

I hope everyone is having a peaceful weekend.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Sapien

Urges, urges, urges...

Possible trigger:

was close to killing myself a few hours ago

but I caught myself in the middle of doing what I was doing and did some dishes and talked to a friend/my ex so obviously I didn't. Just so restless and bored. I mean I find stuff to do, but then I either finish or get bored and have to quickly bounce to another activity before I end up doing something self-destructive.
The forest is beautiful though, lots of red maple leaves falling making the forest floor top notch.

Good job!!! Don't do it. I have tried twice. It is not the answer. Ever. Do you need to go to the hospital?

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I needed to hand my medication over to a family member because of strong urges. I wish I didn’t go through this often. I’ve learned to surf SI pretty well and know when to reach out. I had a friend here on PC and a family member talk me off the ledge. Still down but I’ll be okay.

I’ve been getting into candles a lot lately. The one I have today is called Autumn Leaves and when it’s cool in the morning I can open the door for some crisp air, smell the candle and pretend I’m in the Smokies.

I’m going to visit my daughter this coming weekend. Looking forward to that.

I hope everyone is having a peaceful weekend.

I'm sorry your world is tilting a bit.. please reach out if the urges linger.

I'd try and focus about seeing your daughter..

Stay safe

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I needed to hand my medication over to a family member because of strong urges. I wish I didn’t go through this often. I’ve learned to surf SI pretty well and know when to reach out. I had a friend here on PC and a family member talk me off the ledge. Still down but I’ll be okay.

I’ve been getting into candles a lot lately. The one I have today is called Autumn Leaves and when it’s cool in the morning I can open the door for some crisp air, smell the candle and pretend I’m in the Smokies.

I’m going to visit my daughter this coming weekend. Looking forward to that.

I hope everyone is having a peaceful weekend.

Good for you for taking care of yourself, Jennifer. Handing over your meds, and the candle sounds sooo nice

Keep your focus on that upcoming visit. Does she live very far from you?

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by fern46

I have trouble with some affirmations as well. If my brain holds data to the contrary, I cannot use it because I instinctively fight it. For me, it helps to change the statement to something that is true.

Both of the examples you gave would be difficult for me, but I could adjust them. 'I know how it feels when safe and I know how to find it again after periods of distress.' And 'Although it feels like I have taken many steps backward in my life, I know I am supported and I am moving forward in general'.

Or something else completely. I like that you're working the system, but sometimes it makes sense to learn the concept and apply it best for you. That gets you closer to that highest good you're aiming for

Now this can be a little tricky because sometimes we make adjustments that accommodate features of ourselves we really do need to challenge and change. In those cases you have to look at the results of your adjustments honestly and judge whether or not they add value. If not, return to the basics or design something entirely new.

If you struggle to judge yourself objectively, a friend can usually help. You'll figure it out.

I don't even have the proper words to thank you for this, fern How incredibly helpful! I'm going to write down your affirmation ideas; they're excellent. I love the concept you've explained.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Good for you for taking care of yourself, Jennifer. Handing over your meds, and the candle sounds sooo nice

Keep your focus on that upcoming visit. Does she live very far from you?

Thank you. She’s a senior at a college about 90 miles away.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

Thanks. it’s f to m top surgery and it’s the 5th of October.

I wish you the best for your surgery!

[Moose72]

We got a lot done today. Today is N3's 19th birthday. He spent the morning helping my mom's husband take my couch to N1 and girlfriend, picking up my new (used) couch and bringing it to me. We took apart and threw out the two old broken recliners and the two rickety end tables. Plus, the lady came to pick up the washing machine. She said I look young to be an empty-nester! That made me feel good. (That'll probably change as my hair continues to go white.) So all in all it was a good day. Plus, my mom took some of the stuff I'd packed to her place- extra cleaning supplies, extra toothpaste and the like.

I got up early today and had coffee before we started. That was nice to be up listening to the radio. Reminds me of my dad's mom- she used to get up before everybody else and have coffee while listening to CBC radio.