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  #26  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 03:43 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
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Originally Posted by bpcyclist View Post
Oh, Beth. I am so sorry. I was thinking about this on my ride, since I am about to reach out to family again. Do you think it is possible that, due to all or wreckage, these people have somehow subconsciously slotted us in with the people who are "a chore" to talk to, to deal with? That, rather than viewing us as ill, they cognitively and formally classify as as, like, problem children? So that, rather than ghosting us, they basically dread us? Is something like that possible?

That is my God-awful fear.
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  #27  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 03:45 PM
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My son called (hes in the hospital) but I was in the bathroom. I'm hoping he calls again.

I sure hope he gets the help he needs.

My sister was supposed to come over today, but it's her and her husbands anniversary so shes coming tomorrow.

Hope everyone is having a good day.

Hugs to those struggling.
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  #28  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 03:47 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
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Originally Posted by Coolbreeze74 View Post
So nice to have your sister coming over. My sister was supposed to come over today, but its been put off until tomorrow. I love her to death, but shes not that reliable lol. She has a lot going on tho...

Glad you're getting that new knife set and a hair dryer. Nice deal!

I'm sorry about your sister. I have one of those unreliables, too. It's difficult for me to be as close to her as I'd like to be.

Any word from your son? How are you feeling with him away for now?
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  #29  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 04:06 PM
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Coolbreeze74 Coolbreeze74 is offline
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Originally Posted by BethRags View Post


I'm sorry about your sister. I have one of those unreliables, too. It's difficult for me to be as close to her as I'd like to be.

Any word from your son? How are you feeling with him away for now?
Yeah he called when I was in the bathroom. Hope he calls back. I'm already missing him. But he has to get the help he needs...

Yeah my sister does EVERYTHING in her family. Her husband is like a child. He cant even boil hotdogs, lol. So shes really run down catering to them. Her boys are 15 and 17 but they don't do any chores. I wish she would set boundaries with them but it's part of her religion...
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  #30  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 05:50 PM
fern46 fern46 is offline
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Originally Posted by BethRags View Post
I'm feeling a bit down, maybe more than a bit. Today is my son's 32nd birthday, I just had a nice conversation with him. He and his wife live in San Francisco. Her parents live there, too, and are very wealthy and "normal". My son spends a lot of time with them, which is great. I do feel happy about that. Anyway, the four of them are going to dinner tonight for his birthday.

My daughter also spends a great deal of time with her husband's family. Since I was IP in 2018 she has barely communicated with me - even though we were very close before that.

I have a serious mental illness, so does my husband. We are poor, especially by California standards. I know the kids love us very much...but we're not...typical. So we rarely see them. We're always last on the list. It hurts like hell.
Big hugs Beth. I hope they come around one day. Life's just too short and you have so much to offer.
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  #31  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 06:04 PM
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Nammu Nammu is offline
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My middle sister came for a chat, it was nice catching up. Haven’t seen her for 2 years.
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  #32  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 06:07 PM
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I'm watching a show about a bipolar man. It's on Amazon Prime. I had a headache earlier but it went away when I took Tylenol. Have the sliding glass door to the balcony open. Refreshing. The sun is going down. I may turn my new lamp on. My internet was supposed to be switched over today but it was working last night so I figured they did it early but then today it wasn't working. Rebooting the modem didn't work so I called Comcast. Turns out my service never got switched from the old address to the new address. So now its fixed. So now this show is pretty cool.
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  #33  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 06:09 PM
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MuddyBoots MuddyBoots is offline
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I can't say this for the whole day, but in this moment I am excited to get better in many aspects of my life. It looks like I'll have a new job being a bookkeeper for a local farm, and I'll be able to work from home and take it anywhere I want. So I figure I'll stay here until I save up some, and then I'll GTFO and I bet being sober will be a whole lot easier without knowing two dealers within a ten minute walk, and let's not forget living with a delusional addict.
I've had a lot of emotions today, but I'm starting to think it's just that I'm a very emotional person and mood stabilizers ain't gonna touch those rages and S- thoughts.
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  #34  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 06:14 PM
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wildflowerchild25 wildflowerchild25 is offline
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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
This is a weird question but does anyone ever drool? Do you think it’s a side effect of your meds? This happens to me sometimes. It happened in therapy last session and I had to wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and I think she noticed. I knew a guy who would literally drool a ton because of his bipolar meds.
Yes, absolutely. When I was on haldol it was bad. As soon as I came off it stopped. I imagine it’s a side effect of other meds as well.
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  #35  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 06:16 PM
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Originally Posted by Nammu View Post
My middle sister came for a chat, it was nice catching up. Haven’t seen her for 2 years.
How lovely!
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  #36  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 06:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moose72 View Post
I'm watching a show about a bipolar man. It's on Amazon Prime. I had a headache earlier but it went away when I took Tylenol. Have the sliding glass door to the balcony open. Refreshing. The sun is going down. I may turn my new lamp on. My internet was supposed to be switched over today but it was working last night so I figured they did it early but then today it wasn't working. Rebooting the modem didn't work so I called Comcast. Turns out my service never got switched from the old address to the new address. So now its fixed. So now this show is pretty cool.
What is it?
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  #37  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 06:50 PM
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Moose72 Moose72 is offline
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Originally Posted by bpcyclist View Post
What is it?
It's called "Bipolarized".
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  #38  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 07:06 PM
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Blue_Bird Blue_Bird is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sapien View Post
I can't say this for the whole day, but in this moment I am excited to get better in many aspects of my life. It looks like I'll have a new job being a bookkeeper for a local farm, and I'll be able to work from home and take it anywhere I want. So I figure I'll stay here until I save up some, and then I'll GTFO and I bet being sober will be a whole lot easier without knowing two dealers within a ten minute walk, and let's not forget living with a delusional addict.
I've had a lot of emotions today, but I'm starting to think it's just that I'm a very emotional person and mood stabilizers ain't gonna touch those rages and S- thoughts.
Congrats on the new job! Sounds like a good plan
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  #39  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 07:16 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
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Whoops - mistake
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Last edited by *Beth*; Oct 03, 2020 at 07:30 PM.
  #40  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 07:24 PM
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BeyondtheRainbow BeyondtheRainbow is offline
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Just joining this thread.

Just got back from taking care of my family member who has cancer. It wasn't his best mood. Sometimes he's hard to handle. And I worry..I don't think he's eating and he's covering it up. He threw away his supper before I could get back from walking the dog and do if for him and he isn't very safe to be walking.

It's ok. I'm emotional about him. Things aren't very good.
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  #41  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 07:28 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
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Originally Posted by Sapien View Post
......
I've had a lot of emotions today, but I'm starting to think it's just that I'm a very emotional person and mood stabilizers ain't gonna touch those rages and S- thoughts.

I don't agree. I've never known anyone as intense as I am off meds, or on the wrong meds. I have heard it all of my life, "You're so intense". This year, for the first time since I was a young child I have found a med cocktail that is keeping me quite stable. There are so very many options these days.

But you know how it goes...using street substances or alcohol are not going to bring stability, regardless of whatever else you're doing.
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  #42  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 07:35 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
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Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow View Post
Just joining this thread.

Just got back from taking care of my family member who has cancer. It wasn't his best mood. Sometimes he's hard to handle. And I worry..I don't think he's eating and he's covering it up. He threw away his supper before I could get back from walking the dog and do if for him and he isn't very safe to be walking.

It's ok. I'm emotional about him. Things aren't very good.

I'm sorry, Rainbow
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  #43  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 07:40 PM
fern46 fern46 is offline
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Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow View Post
Just joining this thread.

Just got back from taking care of my family member who has cancer. It wasn't his best mood. Sometimes he's hard to handle. And I worry..I don't think he's eating and he's covering it up. He threw away his supper before I could get back from walking the dog and do if for him and he isn't very safe to be walking.

It's ok. I'm emotional about him. Things aren't very good.
That's tough. It is nice you can be there for him especially on the rough days.
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  #44  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 09:31 PM
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Coolbreeze74 Coolbreeze74 is offline
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Talked to my son. At first he was saying he was all better and to let him come home without changing his meds. I told him they weren't working for him so if he didn't give other meds a chance he couldn't come hom. He begged and pleaded. Long story short he relented. So hopefully they will find a good combo for him.

I've been able to watch what I want so that's a plus not having him home. But I do miss him. Looking forward to seeing my sister tomorrow...
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  #45  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 09:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Moose72 View Post
It's called "Bipolarized".
Thank you!
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  #46  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 09:53 PM
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bpcyclist bpcyclist is offline
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Originally Posted by Sapien View Post
I can't say this for the whole day, but in this moment I am excited to get better in many aspects of my life. It looks like I'll have a new job being a bookkeeper for a local farm, and I'll be able to work from home and take it anywhere I want. So I figure I'll stay here until I save up some, and then I'll GTFO and I bet being sober will be a whole lot easier without knowing two dealers within a ten minute walk, and let's not forget living with a delusional addict.
I've had a lot of emotions today, but I'm starting to think it's just that I'm a very emotional person and mood stabilizers ain't gonna touch those rages and S- thoughts.
Your last paragraph is classic addiction thinking error jazz. Your brain is trying to murder you. Don't let that happen, please.
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  #47  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 10:06 PM
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Crazy Hitch Crazy Hitch is online now
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My anxiety is through the roof about going back to work face to face. I was embarrassingly manic. Oh dear the shame. The dignity. The loss of face.
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  #48  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 10:50 PM
Soupe du jour Soupe du jour is offline
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I may not be able to read through the earlier posts. Today was mind-blowingly busy. And in addition to my injured neck/back/shoulder, my legs will likely be sore tomorrow given all of the gardening, packing, and lifting I did. Tomorrow will be equally busy. I hope to give myself some moments tomorrow to rest.

In addition to physical work, I have been doing loads of scheduling, ad posting, and other stuff. Honestly, I had not been able to handle all of what I have handled these past four weeks since maybe 11 years ago. Actually, I am doing even more, in some respects.

Psychologically, I am OK. I won't say that the stress isn't phasing me, though. My blood pressure is surely a sign. Occasional moments during the day, I also have feelings of mild malaise.
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  #49  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 11:03 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
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Watched a doc on Amazon called Up/Down. Kind-of a dopey name for a well-done documentary. The people in the film could be us, I mean they're a group like us.
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  #50  
Old Oct 03, 2020, 11:48 PM
Anonymous41462
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Another day of mild depression. I guess this is how it's going to be from now on. Again, i miss the euphoria of (hypo)mania but not the bad judgment.

Hugs to all who struggle.

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