[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Heehee, he's joking a bit, but people *are* quite good about wearing masks here.

Nice to see you here, IZ!!!

[Coolbreeze74]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Yeah. Vegan ones from the Sierra Club.

Lol! .............

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

My brother isn’t an asshole. I was just upset when I thought that. He actually did text me later in the day and we had dinner with them tonight. It was very nice.

We all collectively do not like the officiant of the funeral. He is a family “friend”, I think he is my grandfather’s cousin’s son. Something like that. Anyway, everyone but my grandma hates him. He is very fake. He likes to flaunt his wealth and how much better he is than everyone else. He has indeed helped my grandma very much over the last year, but I do NOT think it is out of the goodness of his heart. He is in it either for the “glory” of showing everyone what a selfless guy he is, or (more likely), to be included In her will. My grandparents are very wealthy due to a series of good investments by my grandfather and exceptional saving skills by my grandmother. If you went to their house you would never know how much money they have. But he does, and I imagine he’s quite greedy. I just hope he’s respectful.

My brother was worried about our uncle coming up to him and being an *** at the funeral. I mean, my uncle is definitely an ***, so I wouldn’t put it past him, I just told my brother to come up with a canned response and throw that out there and just walk away. Do not engage.

Anyway...in good news they are taking me off my student and putting a male para with him. I will be with the girl in our class. I am fine with that, I just didn’t want to lose my team. I need to get away from my current student anyway. He is just so out of control. I’m not sure how much meds will do until they find the right combo, and we all know that could take years. He breaks my heart because of how obviously wretched he feels, but at the same time I don’t feel like being threatened all day, especially knowing that I am not much bigger than him.

So other than other work related drama (just some BS that’s not even worth getting into) I’m going to have a quiet night,

Other people have suggested to me in the past, when faced with sorta analagous potentially stressful and incendiary social results, that I develop a plan before the event, setting forth what I will do when my brother tells me I am a POS in front of my child, his niece, whose existence he has still not acknowledged. She is almost 13. Absolute angel. So, there is actually a whole plan of action. That way, I do not have to tell him what a hypocrite and bigot he is and ruin the event. Might wanna consider it maybe.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Moose72

N3 got a 97% on his calculus test!

I got a bill for my rent and water (?) today in the mail. I'm assuming the section 8 will pay for both months on the first because they told me I didn't have to pay the first month until I paid the second month. I'm assuming that's because we didn't know what the section 8 portion would be.. I'm still waiting to see what my portion is- should be here by wednesday. I'm nervous it will be too much as I had money in my account when I went through the recertification process, but I"ve spent it all on bills and security deposit!- gas/electric and internet. I did take N1 to dinner for his birthday, but that wasn't that expensive. Plus, I have to pay for whatever I use the credit card for. I was thinking just household items that I buy anyway.

@Coolbreeze74 I'm glad your son is doing better.

@wildflowerchild25 You shouldn't have to fear going to work. I hear you about feeling bad for your student, too.

@Blue_Bird Happy crocheting! My mom is making me a throw for my couch that will match my colorful lamp. I hope it's big enough to nap with.

It will all be fine. Breathe. They will help you. I would save some room on that credit card in case you get in a short-term bind. It could help you through this until it all becomes routine at the groovy new place.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

OK, I'm back. The high winds were threatening to blow limbs onto power lines so the electricity was shut off for two days - that meant no internet.

I hope everyone is doing well. I'll catch up as things go forward.

So happy to see you.

I’m still around. I sleep most the day and stay up all night. I spend most my time learning German right now, or playing a game. I don’t feel depressed but I am not living, I don’t leave the house. I have been home almost a month and I haven’t unpacked my car yet, and until today I haven’t even slept under the covers here. I’m not saying there is any significance in that but it’s just how I have been. I haven’t left the house except when forced, which is rare. I wouldn’t say I am bothered by it but I realize I spend most of my day alone and without much interaction despite the barrage of questions every day and “get me this” “get me that” I hear all day long. I don’t mean to make it sound like it’s burdensome, because I do live here rent free and have food, but it’s always inconvenient. The moment I begin to try to do something I get interrupted. Just to give you an idea -- I’ve never even made it through a 22min episode of anything without interruption. Maybe staying up all night is to maximize time without interruption. Lol

I can’t really talk much more about my situation. I’ve written 8 paragraphs on the subject that spiraled and ranted and made me angry to remember, realize, and reflect. I don’t want to deal with all that right now so please just understand my situation is difficult for me. A lot of you know what it is like to be mentally ill and live with someone else who is as well who only exacerbates your symptoms and anguish. I have that – a lot. Anyway, moving on before I turn this paragraph into a rant too.

I have to be honest – I’ve not been keeping up with everyone. I hope everyone is doing well. Maybe I’ll try to post more soon.

MarcusAurelius

[Soupe du jour]

Glad to hear from you, @MarcusAurelius That's cool that you are studying German. Most of my in-laws from my husband speak German. His oldest sister and his brother, and their families, have lived in Munich area since the late 1960s, and his younger sister is a German-Czech translator. Growing up, German was the most common foreign language for them to learn, save Russian, which was forced on them. That's because Czech Republic was once part of the former Austro-Hungarian Empire, and because two of the bordering countries are German-speaking. Many people in Czech history were even predominantly German speaking, like Franz Kafka, Gustav Mahler, and Antonín Dvořák.

Are you able to get out of your apartment/house at all? I know that with the pandemic getting out is not as nice as it used to be, but it's still better to get out a little than not at all.

I can understand how us living with another with a mood disorder can be rough. My husband is in a mild depressive phase now. Growing up, my dad often had some mood issue or another.

Hugs

[Soupe du jour]

My husband's youngest nephew called yesterday afternoon and said that my s-i-l may have covid-19. She will be tested on Monday. I hope it's not that. That nephew is with her, which in itself is highly concerning since he has severe heart problems. If he got covid-19, it could be especially dangerous for him. We think our elder nephew should rather be with their mom, but the more appropriate isn't always the more willing.

Also yesterday, my husband and I had a Whatsapp initial meeting with our upcoming land lady. Prior to that, we had only dealt with the realtor she used to find tenants. Normally she wouldn't have been so eager to talk to us (and see us) so early, but the house is her former home, that she eventually wants to give to one of her children, who are all still small kids. She was very pleasant, so it was a good interaction. She started the meeting just speaking Czech with my husband, but later started speaking English with me. That's nice, but I didn't expect it. She did strongly recommend that I learn Czech, which is obviously a necessity. She said an English spouse of a Czech tenant of hers finds himself a bit isolated. I am aware of this and it should push myself to be studious.

[Moose72]

My mom just bought me a wallet on Amazon. I hope it's not too big for my purse! It holds a lot of cards and that's what I need.

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Nice to see you here, IZ!!!

Thanks! Been lurking.

[Mountaindewed]

I’m doing pretty good today. I went downstairs after I took a shower to get a shirt from the laundry room and I didn’t have one on just because I could. It felt great. I went to the store this morning to look for TaB. They just discontinued it yesterday. It was all gone. The prices on eBay are ridiculous. I’m glad I was able to get a case at the store the other week. But overall I’m doing pretty well. We’re having a few people over tonight which I’m not very happy about but I’m trying not to be a downer about it. My mom claims everyone is being safe. I’ll probably not be around much and I am sure not going to eat with everyone I’ll eat upstairs. Now is not the time to be polite.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by MarcusAurelius

I’m still around. I sleep most the day and stay up all night. I spend most my time learning German right now, or playing a game. I don’t feel depressed but I am not living, I don’t leave the house. I have been home almost a month and I haven’t unpacked my car yet, and until today I haven’t even slept under the covers here. I’m not saying there is any significance in that but it’s just how I have been. I haven’t left the house except when forced, which is rare. I wouldn’t say I am bothered by it but I realize I spend most of my day alone and without much interaction despite the barrage of questions every day and “get me this” “get me that” I hear all day long. I don’t mean to make it sound like it’s burdensome, because I do live here rent free and have food, but it’s always inconvenient. The moment I begin to try to do something I get interrupted. Just to give you an idea -- I’ve never even made it through a 22min episode of anything without interruption. Maybe staying up all night is to maximize time without interruption. Lol

I can’t really talk much more about my situation. I’ve written 8 paragraphs on the subject that spiraled and ranted and made me angry to remember, realize, and reflect. I don’t want to deal with all that right now so please just understand my situation is difficult for me. A lot of you know what it is like to be mentally ill and live with someone else who is as well who only exacerbates your symptoms and anguish. I have that – a lot. Anyway, moving on before I turn this paragraph into a rant too.

I have to be honest – I’ve not been keeping up with everyone. I hope everyone is doing well. Maybe I’ll try to post more soon.

MarcusAurelius

Hugs, Marcus! Hang in there!!!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

My husband's youngest nephew called yesterday afternoon and said that my s-i-l may have covid-19. She will be tested on Monday. I hope it's not that. That nephew is with her, which in itself is highly concerning since he has severe heart problems. If he got covid-19, it could be especially dangerous for him. We think our elder nephew should rather be with their mom, but the more appropriate isn't always the more willing.

Also yesterday, my husband and I had a Whatsapp initial meeting with our upcoming land lady. Prior to that, we had only dealt with the realtor she used to find tenants. Normally she wouldn't have been so eager to talk to us (and see us) so early, but the house is her former home, that she eventually wants to give to one of her children, who are all still small kids. She was very pleasant, so it was a good interaction. She started the meeting just speaking Czech with my husband, but later started speaking English with me. That's nice, but I didn't expect it. She did strongly recommend that I learn Czech, which is obviously a necessity. She said an English spouse of a Czech tenant of hers finds himself a bit isolated. I am aware of this and it should push myself to be studious.

Sorry about your nephew in law. That virus really seems to be raging. Spooky.

How much of the language do you now speak, Soupe?

[daladico]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

so proud of you, dal. This will be totally worth it!! You can do this!

We are here for you. Reach out. Let us know how you are feeling, so we can help you stay on track.

You got this!

Thanks so much bpcyclist

[daladico]

Originally Posted by daladico

Day 1 of complete med changes (cross-taper).
In the past med changes have made me really suicidal.
Scared for what could come.
Hopeful that the new cocktail will be better.
Day 1: safe.

Day 2: safe.
mild agitation and irritability, otherwise fine.

[downersgoup]

I'm doing pretty bad these last couple days. I went through a level period, but then I just sort of switched into a depressive episode in a very sudden way. My partner is really supportive, but he sometimes thinks that my low moods are because of him, even though we have discussions about how it isn't at all. I don't know what to do in situations like this, because all I want to do is just hide away by myself and sleep. My therapist and my psychiatrist have both told me that I should quit smoking weed and to drastically cut back my caffeine consumption. I guess the main thing I'm struggling with at the moment is feeling like I'm just gonna be bored and more depressed without vices to fall back on.

[Sunflower123]

First night on Ambien. I slept for 13 hours. Yay! I was really exhausted. A bit of a hangover so I’ll take one pill instead of the prescribed two.

Hugs to all.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Sorry about your nephew in law. That virus really seems to be raging. Spooky.

How much of the language do you now speak, Soupe?

Hi bpcyclist. Right now (I hope) my nephew-in-law does not have covid. It's my sister-in-law that MIGHT have covid. We are just concerned that if the nephew gets it it could be especially risky, since he has severe heart problems. Not that it couldn't be risky for my sister-in-law, but she is generally quite healthy.

I speak a combination of "wifey pooh Czech", "pet-related Czech (our former parrots), and a whole lot of culinary-related Czech. Of course I know the basic pronouns and verbs (present tense) and their usual conjugations. I also know useful phrases of the sorts like "Where is the toilet room?", "I'm hungry", "Big beer, please.", "It's a beautiful day.", "I love you", etc. Plus, a myriad of other nouns and verbs, most useful ones, others a bit more obscure. The most difficult part of Czech are the many cases and how they affect words. Czech also has noun genders, and to top it off, some verbs are affected by the gender of the speaker and/or the gender of the noun(s). I have a good ear for languages, but grammar has been my weak point. I also have to remember that the accent is always put on the very first syllable of every Czech word. That is clearly different than in English, and many other languages. Though there are a handful of cognates, Czech does have unique words for many things that a lot of languages use the Latin-based terms for. They also use lots of diminutives. They often have totally different words for things that English would use the same words for. For example, in English we use the verb "to eat" for both humans and animals, whereas in Czech, they "jíst" for humans, and "papat" for animals, and then again, the conjugations are often complex.

All of these years, my husband has let me speak "pigeon Czech" without correcting me. Part of the fault is perhaps his sister's. She once told him to just let me speak without being picky about the grammar ("Hana's simplified grammar") but that doesn't fly when you're in Czech Republic. Half the time you'd be looked at in a negative way. Unfortunately, some Czechs (mostly older people) have prejudices against foreigners or they simply don't understand your attempts to speak the language. I can't say it won't be a bit of a struggle sometimes, especially when I'm alone in public.

It's true. Learning a new language, at almost 50 years old, is a major undertaking.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

....I’ll probably not be around much and I am sure not going to eat with everyone I’ll eat upstairs. Now is not the time to be polite.

Good for you for taking care of yourself as you need to

[wildflowerchild25]

I just want to get under the covers and stay there. I lazed around this morning. I meant to get my car inspected as it’s a month overdue but I forgot until 11:45 and they close at noon. So I’ll try again next Saturday. I did drag myself up to clean the kitchen because I would have felt too guilty if I literally did nothing while RS worked his side job.

I’m sliding into depression for obvious reasons. I always do after a particularly stressful event. Last time it was the emergence of covid, time before that was my ****** *** job...I have figured that out at least. But still, haven’t figured out a way to change it. Just deal with the symptoms of depression as they come up.

I don’t think a med change would be beneficial. We will see how I get on but it might be ok as long as I talk to my therapist etc. I’m not sure. We shall see.

[*Beth*]

I had a pedicure yesterday for the first time since February. It felt like such a healthy gift to give to myself, and especially to my right foot/ankle/leg, as it's still healing from surgery in May.

Mentally, emotionally, I'm feeling stable. Holding my own. Physically, still not too great. Pdoc says I have dystonia and fatigue from the high dose of AP and Lamictal combined. So decreased the AP and the Lamictal. Dropped the tiny amount of Seroquel I was taking to sleep - and slept better, interestingly.

I did just notice that the stiffness up the back of my neck has disappeared. What a relief. Now I'm waiting for my jaw, arms, shoulders to stop shaking.

*sigh* Isn't it the nature of mental illness...feel mentally well, then meds cause upset with your body. I do recall that with bipolar disorder frequent med adjustments are necessary. It's sure true for me.

[Mountaindewed]

I have this really bad smell coming from me and I don’t know what it is. But it smells awful. Maybe I have an infection somewhere. I don’t know if they have an odor or not? But my aunt opened a bag of chips and said “these smell like farts!” And I think it was actually me... I know that sounds funny but it’s really stressful.

I looked over on online DBT course but it was outrageously expensive so i just bought an inexpensive DBT Kindle book off Amazon. You don't have to have a Kindle to read Kindle books. I use my iPhone. It's so delightful to have my whole personal library on me at all times! So convenient! And this is working out swimmingly because it's a workbook so i write in my notes app on my phone and get to practice my thumb-typing. Hopefully i'll get super fast like i see all the youngsters hammering out texts on the bus.

The thing is tho: i don't really have overwhelming emotions too often. I've withdrawn from life so much that i'm insulated from them. Also, my main destructive behavior of overeating does not occur in response to overwhelming emotions. I just feel like: "Hmm, wouldn't some chips taste good right now?" And then i have them.

Well, i'm sure i'll learn something from the book. I've just barely started it.

Does anyone like my new avatars? I had to update them as my hair is longer. I use my memojis from my iPhone. I'm thrilled with them! Such fun!

Hugs to all who struggle!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by downersgoup

I'm doing pretty bad these last couple days. I went through a level period, but then I just sort of switched into a depressive episode in a very sudden way. My partner is really supportive, but he sometimes thinks that my low moods are because of him, even though we have discussions about how it isn't at all. I don't know what to do in situations like this, because all I want to do is just hide away by myself and sleep. My therapist and my psychiatrist have both told me that I should quit smoking weed and to drastically cut back my caffeine consumption. I guess the main thing I'm struggling with at the moment is feeling like I'm just gonna be bored and more depressed without vices to fall back on.

Cannot imagine that weed adding stability. Hugs.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Hi bpcyclist. Right now (I hope) my nephew-in-law does not have covid. It's my sister-in-law that MIGHT have covid. We are just concerned that if the nephew gets it it could be especially risky, since he has severe heart problems. Not that it couldn't be risky for my sister-in-law, but she is generally quite healthy.

I speak a combination of "wifey pooh Czech", "pet-related Czech (our former parrots), and a whole lot of culinary-related Czech. Of course I know the basic pronouns and verbs (present tense) and their usual conjugations. I also know useful phrases of the sorts like "Where is the toilet room?", "I'm hungry", "Big beer, please.", "It's a beautiful day.", "I love you", etc. Plus, a myriad of other nouns and verbs, most useful ones, others a bit more obscure. The most difficult part of Czech are the many cases and how they affect words. Czech also has noun genders, and to top it off, some verbs are affected by the gender of the speaker and/or the gender of the noun(s). I have a good ear for languages, but grammar has been my weak point. I also have to remember that the accent is always put on the very first syllable of every Czech word. That is clearly different than in English, and many other languages. Though there are a handful of cognates, Czech does have unique words for many things that a lot of languages use the Latin-based terms for. They also use lots of diminutives. They often have totally different words for things that English would use the same words for. For example, in English we use the verb "to eat" for both humans and animals, whereas in Czech, they "jíst" for humans, and "papat" for animals, and then again, the conjugations are often complex.

All of these years, my husband has let me speak "pigeon Czech" without correcting me. Part of the fault is perhaps his sister's. She once told him to just let me speak without being picky about the grammar ("Hana's simplified grammar") but that doesn't fly when you're in Czech Republic. Half the time you'd be looked at in a negative way. Unfortunately, some Czechs (mostly older people) have prejudices against foreigners or they simply don't understand your attempts to speak the language. I can't say it won't be a bit of a struggle sometimes, especially when I'm alone in public.

It's true. Learning a new language, at almost 50 years old, is a major undertaking.

For you, Soupe? Piecea pie.