[NaoSky]

I’ve been battling insomnia since July when the depression hit. Do any of you who suffer insomnia ever have sleep return once you are stable? I’m just so tired of dealing with it. Sleep pills only help put me to sleep not stay asleep and I’ve found that I have better luck listening to a meditation YouTube video, because at least there are no side effects. I sleep the same amount, and when I replay it in the middle of the night I can fall asleep again. I can’t do that with pills... but I only average 4 hours per night. I also have these pains in different places around my head that are hard to describe, sort of like a burning sensation. It doesn’t really throb so I don’t think it’s a migraine... but I only started getting them when my sleep got bad. Does anyone else get these kinds of pains on there skull/brain? I’m always rubbing them. One is behind my head and another one on top. Should I be looking forward to getting more sleep one day or is it now chronic and ill just have to deal with it? Thank you!!

[Soupe du jour]

Hi NaoSky. I'm sorry to read that you've been struggling to get good sleep, and that you have associated head pain. In answer, in my experience my sleep can change depending on my mood and I suppose other factors (maybe medications or time of year or anxiety, etc.) I went through periods of getting little sleep or disrupted sleep, but that did eventually change. I would not immediately worry that sleep problems will plague you forever.

I never experienced what you describe about head pains relating to sleep. Have you discussed this with your psychiatrist? It is possible that such an experience could have various causes. I suppose figuring out what it is is important. Perhaps your psychiatrist can assist with this, or maybe they can refer you to a different kind of doctor to investigate it. I'm not sure what type of doctor is best for such an investigation. Neurologist? I don't know.

[NaoSky]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Hi NaoSky. I'm sorry to read that you've been struggling to get good sleep, and that you have associated head pain. In answer, in my experience my sleep can change depending on my mood and I suppose other factors (maybe medications or time of year or anxiety, etc.) I went through periods of getting little sleep or disrupted sleep, but that did eventually change. I would not immediately worry that sleep problems will plague you forever.

I never experienced what you describe about head pains relating to sleep. Have you discussed this with your psychiatrist? It is possible that such an experience could have various causes. I suppose figuring out what it is is important. Perhaps your psychiatrist can assist with this, or maybe they can refer you to a different kind of doctor to investigate it. I'm not sure what type of doctor is best for such an investigation. Neurologist? I don't know.

Thank you! I was thinking about switching doctors and the new dr told me that once my sleep improves then we will know for sure if that’s what’s causing it. I’m going to mention it to my regular dr. I can’t remember if I told them or not.

That’s good to know that it can change. I was hoping that’s the case. It’s just been such a battle trying to sleep. Last night I woke up after 1 hour then after 2 hours of sleep. I could t sleep more than 2 hours at a time. Thankfully that meditation video puts me back to sleep. Having only one hour is horrible!!

[*Beth*]

My sleep went haywire when I was 22 and my night owl daughter was born. So I don't know if my sleep issues are related to that, to BD, to both...I do know that over the years my sleep has gotten worse and worse. I don't think I can sleep anymore without some kind of either otc or prescription med.

As for the head discomfort, I've had severe migraines for most of my life. I get plain, excruciating headaches (on one side of my head), stabbing "icepick" pain, and weird burning pain. The only thing is, the sensations are always on the right side of my head.

[FluffyDinosaur]

I certainly hope it will improve when (if) I ever get stable again, but I can't speak to that yet. For me sleep has historically been largely mood-related.

I do get this weird feeling in my head that I can't quite describe, but when I feel it I know I'm not going to be able to sleep. It's not pain but it's a kind of dull feeling mixed with the sensation that my mind is "switched on" somehow. I guess that's too vague to get any kind of point across but I really don't know how to describe it better.

[The Black Dog]

My sleep was poor and erratic since I was 7. Minutes changed my lifestyle completely to reduce stress. That helped a lot. Now i can sleep like a regular person most days but it doesnt take much to derail it. So yes it is possible. Hope this helps.

[sarahsweets]

I cannot stress enough how important a sleep study is for you. Because we have a mental illness we are used to having things like that dismissed because of our mental illness. It doesnt have to be that way @NaoSky. A sleep study can show you things that go beyond just not sleeping. And I do not mean a blanket diagnosis as "insomnia" Well No ***** you know you have insomnia what you need to know is what else? What happens when you sleep and what your brain waves look like. I'd share my own info but I dont want to junk up your thread.

[NaoSky]

Originally Posted by The Black Dog

My sleep was poor and erratic since I was 7. Minutes changed my lifestyle completely to reduce stress. That helped a lot. Now i can sleep like a regular person most days but it doesnt take much to derail it. So yes it is possible. Hope this helps.

What’s minutes?

[NaoSky]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

I cannot stress enough how important a sleep study is for you. Because we have a mental illness we are used to having things like that dismissed because of our mental illness. It doesnt have to be that way @NaoSky. A sleep study can show you things that go beyond just not sleeping. And I do not mean a blanket diagnosis as "insomnia" Well No ***** you know you have insomnia what you need to know is what else? What happens when you sleep and what your brain waves look like. I'd share my own info but I dont want to junk up your thread.

I’d like to do a sleep study but I have a 2 year old that I’m completely attached to especially during this depression so I can’t even think about going one night without her. Maybe one of these days.... it’s just so bizarre to me. I have never had a sleep problem in almost 42 years of my life, bipolar shows up, and now that I do, I don’t know what to do. I tried the pills, but that’s not the route I want to continue since they didn’t fix anything and they eventually stopped working as well.
So what would the brain waves tell me? How would knowing that help fix the insomnia? One dr told me that when my mood improves so should my sleep, so that’s what I’m holding on to, I just don’t know how long I have to wait. My mom also has bipolar and had been dealing with it for years. She said her longest depression was a year.... so if thats what happens to me, I’m halfway there.

[NaoSky]

Originally Posted by FluffyDinosaur

I certainly hope it will improve when (if) I ever get stable again, but I can't speak to that yet. For me sleep has historically been largely mood-related.

I do get this weird feeling in my head that I can't quite describe, but when I feel it I know I'm not going to be able to sleep. It's not pain but it's a kind of dull feeling mixed with the sensation that my mind is "switched on" somehow. I guess that's too vague to get any kind of point across but I really don't know how to describe it better.

Hmm I wonder if it’s the same that I feel, almost like this pressure, not really painful but annoying because I can feel it. It’s in a couple of spots on my head. It comes and goes, almost like a growing sensation or a slow throb then it goes away.... I don’t know if it’s worth trying to get a brain scan for it.

[NaoSky]

Originally Posted by BethRags

My sleep went haywire when I was 22 and my night owl daughter was born. So I don't know if my sleep issues are related to that, to BD, to both...I do know that over the years my sleep has gotten worse and worse. I don't think I can sleep anymore without some kind of either otc or prescription med.

As for the head discomfort, I've had severe migraines for most of my life. I get plain, excruciating headaches (on one side of my head), stabbing "icepick" pain, and weird burning pain. The only thing is, the sensations are always on the right side of my head.

Oh wow I’m sorry Beth you’ve been dealing with it for so long!! Both sleep and migraines. I’m so new to this and I just want it all to end. I can’t imagine going through this crap for so many years!! You are a strong woman for sure!! It doesn’t surprise me now that I have BD that this is the number one illness with the highest suicide rate. If I didn’t have children and brought up in the church, I’d probably be one of those statistics... not having sleep alone and then on top of that the pain and depression. It’s more than I ever wanted to handle.... People without BD will never understand. I know I never used to get my mom. We are even closer now than ever, BUT I still don’t want this crap. It’s definitely not a gift.

[*Beth*]

Thank you, NaoSky. Anyone with a mental illness is strong, I think. Remember that you've been diagnosed, but you're still the same person you always were.

[NaoSky]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Thank you, NaoSky. Anyone with a mental illness is strong, I think. Remember that you've been diagnosed, but you're still the same person you always were.

Thank you Beth. I just don’t feel strong and I surely don’t feel like myself. This is the first Christmas ever that I don’t feel like celebrating. I’ve always been big on holidays and I feel like the joy has been zapped out of me. It’s like everyone around me is excited and I’m living on some strange planet. The world is so different to me now and on top of that this stupid pandemic. It’s really like I’m living in some sci-fi horror movie that I can’t escape. I want to feel like me again but I don’t know how or when it will happen. I just keep living one day at a time with hope.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Just FYI..you can do at home sleep studies now

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by NaoSky

Thank you Beth. I just don’t feel strong and I surely don’t feel like myself. This is the first Christmas ever that I don’t feel like celebrating. I’ve always been big on holidays and I feel like the joy has been zapped out of me. It’s like everyone around me is excited and I’m living on some strange planet. The world is so different to me now and on top of that this stupid pandemic. It’s really like I’m living in some sci-fi horror movie that I can’t escape. I want to feel like me again but I don’t know how or when it will happen. I just keep living one day at a time with hope.

For me, it's somewhat hard to separate living with BD and living through the pandemic. For example, I isolate a lot - but I'm not sure if that's me, or if it's covid.

I know we'll all feel a better sense of clarity when covid is at least under control.

Living one day at a time is a good idea, especially when you're newly diagnosed.

I can't recall - are you in therapy?

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

Just FYI..you can do at home sleep studies now

That's true in most cases. My insurance won't cover at home sleep studies. But everyone else I know can do them at home.

[Mountaindewed]

My sleep got messed up when I was 14. Just randomly started. I mean yeah during the summer when I was a kid I’d stay up until 2 and wake up at 6:30 but that was on purpose. But just one night in 2007 I suddenly had trouble sleeping and its been a mess ever since.

[NaoSky]

Originally Posted by BethRags

For me, it's somewhat hard to separate living with BD and living through the pandemic. For example, I isolate a lot - but I'm not sure if that's me, or if it's covid.

I know we'll all feel a better sense of clarity when covid is at least under control.

Living one day at a time is a good idea, especially when you're newly diagnosed.

I can't recall - are you in therapy?

Not anymore. Although I do talk to my nurse practitioner who I just found out was one. I thought she was a psychiatrist the entire time till she kept saying she needed to consult with her supervisor before changing my meds. I did have a counselor but I felt like I was repeating the same stuff every time we spoke so I felt like I could do that with family for free. I have a few family members and a couple of friends that I talk to regularly.

See today I was starting to think I could enjoy myself a little for Christmas, but it’s like these tiny sparks that are inside me. I don’t know if they will last because then the sadness takes over again. Especially thinking about having an illness. That’s the biggest one. I miss my life. I miss days when I was normal. One day I may get over it, but it’s going to take a long time. I just don’t want to be sick. I miss my sleep. I miss wanting to do crafts or photography. I miss wanting to do anything. Now all I crave is sleep. And my daughter is the only thing that brings me joy. Without her I would be void of anything.

[NaoSky]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

My sleep got messed up when I was 14. Just randomly started. I mean yeah during the summer when I was a kid I’d stay up until 2 and wake up at 6:30 but that was on purpose. But just one night in 2007 I suddenly had trouble sleeping and its been a mess ever since.

Wow!! That’s so terrible, I’m so sorry!! I’ve only been battling it for almost 6 months, I can’t imagine 13 years!! .

[NaoSky]

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

Just FYI..you can do at home sleep studies now

Interesting, I will have to check into that.

[wolftrap]

I empathize with your plight. I spent many years lying awake in bed and not falling asleep until 2 or 3am on a constant basis. For me, a year into my psychiatric therapy, my pdoc prescribed Seroquel. I know this has many negative side effects. But, after trying sleeping pills and meditation and drinking myself into oblivion, none of which worked, Seroquel was the only thing that worked. I still take it and it has changed my life. I'm not espousing medication, that's simply what worked for me.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by FluffyDinosaur

I certainly hope it will improve when (if) I ever get stable again, but I can't speak to that yet. For me sleep has historically been largely mood-related.

I do get this weird feeling in my head that I can't quite describe, but when I feel it I know I'm not going to be able to sleep. It's not pain but it's a kind of dull feeling mixed with the sensation that my mind is "switched on" somehow. I guess that's too vague to get any kind of point across but I really don't know how to describe it better.

I'm pretty sure I know exactly what you mean about the dull head/mind switched on sensations.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by NaoSky

...
See today I was starting to think I could enjoy myself a little for Christmas, but it’s like these tiny sparks that are inside me. I don’t know if they will last because then the sadness takes over again. Especially thinking about having an illness. That’s the biggest one. I miss my life. I miss days when I was normal. One day I may get over it, but it’s going to take a long time. I just don’t want to be sick. I miss my sleep. I miss wanting to do crafts or photography. I miss wanting to do anything. Now all I crave is sleep. And my daughter is the only thing that brings me joy. Without her I would be void of anything.

What an apt description of the "tiny sparks".


It sounds to me like you are too depressed. Forgive me for asking 10 times (I have a lot of trouble recalling some things, even though I commit them to memory)...you are are only one med, correct? And you don't want to add anything?

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by wolftrap

I empathize with your plight. I spent many years lying awake in bed and not falling asleep until 2 or 3am on a constant basis. For me, a year into my psychiatric therapy, my pdoc prescribed Seroquel. I know this has many negative side effects. But, after trying sleeping pills and meditation and drinking myself into oblivion, none of which worked, Seroquel was the only thing that worked. I still take it and it has changed my life. I'm not espousing medication, that's simply what worked for me.

I've had so many problems with Seroquel, yet I am gladly on 25mg at this time, anyway, for help with sleeping. My sleep has been so good...well, markedly better, anyway.

[NaoSky]

Originally Posted by wolftrap

I empathize with your plight. I spent many years lying awake in bed and not falling asleep until 2 or 3am on a constant basis. For me, a year into my psychiatric therapy, my pdoc prescribed Seroquel. I know this has many negative side effects. But, after trying sleeping pills and meditation and drinking myself into oblivion, none of which worked, Seroquel was the only thing that worked. I still take it and it has changed my life. I'm not espousing medication, that's simply what worked for me.

I wish seroquel had worked for me. It made me feel sluggish and dizzy the next day, plus I never got enough sleep. That was the first one they prescribed. I even added doxipine with it but it didn’t work. Trazadone was the next one and it worked at first but then I had to keep increasing the dosage until it just stopped working. Lunesta was the last one and it only kept me asleep 3 or 4 hours. I can get that without any meds... so I’m just trying to get by until I hope one day my sleep returns...