[Victoria'smom]

Have a good day.

[bizi]

I had an ok day felt badly after seeing a new client. Her feet were so badly neglected....I was pissed off at the family for letting them get this bad.I had a long drive to get there and was lost, out of town. I kept calling the daughter and could not get a hold of her. was going to leave, I had another appointment after her. So when she finally called me it was on her land line the cell was not working for some reason.
she came to me and led me to her house.
Her mom was bed bound I did not know this. before getting into the house I said that I was not coming back.
It was further from my home than I thought it took me over an hour to get there it was tricky and I got turned around even with my gps.
so I canceled my 4pm appointment.
I trimmed her nails as best as I could and got out of there.
I felt badly because I did not offer to paint her nails nor did I apply lotion to her legs and feet like usual. I just wanted out of there.
I got back into town around 4;15 so I called the daughter and said I could still do her dads feet if she wanted me to.
she said go ahead. so I did his feet.and he was happy with my work.
I asked if I could come back in about 3 months, he said yes.
so I got home and jeff was not home yet and I knew he was with out a phone so I tried to call pauls phone....no answer. so I just decided that I would go out to eat and have a couple of beers and a special hot dog with all of the fixins. at the tap room bar and grill.Jeff just got home from his day with the guys, he had too much to drink. but ate over there and rested and got over having too much to drink.I came home and had 2 gin and tonics. so I only made it 5 days with out drinking.
sigh
bizi

[bizi]

I had a good day, I love what I do. It is getting harder to do though. I sat on the floor this afternoon. which I don't like doing.
my oily skin keeps getting worse. so I look like a grease bomb but it keeps me looking young so they say.
oh well.
bizi

[*Beth*]

Ugh, I have oily skin, too. It's true that I don't have wrinkles, but there are times when I'd gladly trade the oiliness for a few wrinkles. I just *LUV* when I get a zit at the age of 58.

Anyway, I'm sure glad you love your job. That's wonderful!

[bizi]

Thanks beth!
I use a vit c serum on my face after a quick wipe of hot water which feels so good. I am not consistent with my skin protocol.some times I use the face cleanser and then add a bensoperoxide product one or the other not every day.
I have acne rosacea that rears its ugly face every now and then.
bizi

[bizi]

went to the dentist this week to get a bite gaurd. Apparently I grind my teeth and need to stop have ground down my front teeth. so while there I picked up some teeth whitener and tryed it tonight it numbs my upper lip, it is hydrogen peroxide my teeth are so dingy I hate the way they look. I was going to get invisilighn"braces for my teeth but I can't chew gum....that is a deal breaker. if I just chew my gum on the back molars I will have to wear my guard 24/7.
such is life.
bizi

[bizi]

help,I am running low on patience with myself.
I have been drinking alcohol...alot.
I tried to have a dry march and made it 5 days.

sigh
how can I stop????? anyone out there with suggestions?
bizi

[bizi]

I have noticed that I do chew gum just on my back molars,

The mouth guard is in the front of the mouth.So I could wear it 24/7.wonder if it would help my over bite?
bizi

[buddha1too]

Originally Posted by bizi

help,I am running low on patience with myself.
I have been drinking alcohol...alot.
I tried to have a dry march and made it 5 days.

sigh
how can I stop????? anyone out there with suggestions?
bizi

I can't really give you any solid suggestions. I was on the PsychCenral forum for many years & remember you from the addictions thread, though. Have you considered touhing base with anyone from that thread?

I haven't touched a drink in a decade & then some, but feel everyone has to make up their own mind to stop. Going to AA helped me, but I know that's not a very popular choice for a lot of people. If I recall correctly, you've stopped for fairly long periods in the past, so I'm sure you can do it again. I do know that mixing meds with alcohol is a pretty self-defeating & potentially dangerous behavior. Maybe keeping that in mind might help? Anyways...I don't preach. Good luck, bizi.

[bizi]

The longest I stopped was 5 1/2 months. On a friday, then an ice storm hit us and said what the heck I drank 9 drinks I had a terrible night trying to sleep and getting sick.The next morning, I threw out the left over 3 mikes hard beverages. Then that next monday we went to a restaurant for happy hour $2 margaritas, I had 5 doubles so that was 10 drinks. I am a binge drinker. Have been all of my life. Drink to excess.one time in my 20's I remember making myself get sick in the bath room so I could drink more margaritas no one knew that.
I am 58 years old when am I going to stop.
bizi

[*Beth*]

I wish with all my heart that I knew more about how to help you, bizi. All I can do is offer my support and a willingness to "listen." ((((HUGS))))

[Nammu]

You will stop when the negatives outweigh the positives you get when you drink. You wanted to be dry for March but then you had a bad day in which you got lost, gave an elderly person less care than you usually do, felt bad about it and drank. Then you rationalized you already drank in March so oh well and drank more. When you can tell yourself it’s a bad day, oh well tomorrow will be better without needing to Sooth yourself with alcohol, that will be a major turning point.

[bizi]

Thank you @Nammu
I will always remember your support.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[bizi]

I seem to be in a rut.
don't know how to get out of it.
I have a habit of going to fat pats after work.
hubby has joined me a couple of times and I don't like that. I would rather be alone and able to check my face book by myself if that makes sense.
It is me time.I don't thin I will let him know when I am there.
I see one client tomorrow. She is very lonely has many health issues I will listen and let her talk. Our meeting is at 10:30. That lets me sleep in as long as I want. pop up and go.
bizi

[buddha1too]

Originally Posted by bizi

I have a habit of going to fat pats after work.
hubby has joined me a couple of times and I don't like that. I would rather be alone and able to check my face book by myself if that makes sense.

Are you sure you're not in the habit of drinking alone? That wasn't a good sign for me. Just sayin'...

[bizi]

We went to a gumbo party for a guest friend of a friend.
I did not drink too much which is good.
I finished 27 bills and got caught up there.
I recently got some referrals of 7-8 new clients so tomorrow I will call the family members and get information on them. It is overwhelming to get that many all at once. they were faxed to me on thursday evening.
I saw one client today, Donna..is her name.I feel sorry for her. She is a high risk client and I should not be doing her.I have been seeing her for a long time. I let her talk, after my visit with her I told her that I thought she was doing good, before I left. This made her smile.
We will go and have brunch at our usual diner.BELT is my favorite breakfast sandwich.bacon egg lettuce and tomato on rye bread with mayo on both sides of the bread not toasted. and a side of brocolli. a lot of the servers know my order, lol.
Jeff is snoring I had better finish getting ready to sleep.
wash face apply moisturizer , brush my teeth, I already took my meds.
good night all and hugs to those that need them.
bizi

[bizi]

Originally Posted by buddha1too

Are you sure you're not in the habit of drinking alone? That wasn't a good sign for me. Just sayin'...

It is a habit I know....
perhaps it is a way to get some privacy, I wear a mask at a bar when no one else wears them.
kind of like a shield of don't bother me.
I would pop in and drink a couple of beers
quickly, check facebook and maybe look at

my voice mails. It is me time, does that make any sense?
bizi

[bizi]

Well this weekend was a lot like other weekends.
I finished my billing yesterday and faxed over orders for the new clients,
I have 7 new clients who reside in assisted living homes.
one of them need to be seen tomorrow if I can get to
the nurse practitioner to get a verbal order.
One of her toes is bleeding so long it got caught in her
sock and pulled it back. These poor people have not had foot care
in a year since covid made them quarantined
for a year. poor people.
so it felt good to get some paperwork, phone calls though.
I have not gotten thru to 4-5 of them I was able to leave messages.
I forgot to do laundry today so I started a load at 8;30 pm. sigh
I had a bm yesterday so as long as I go every other day or so I won't change up what I am
doing just need to drink lots of water. Went to a gumbo dinner last night and
I did not over drink. Which is good. the last time I was at pauls house was when
I made a scene....how embarrassing.One of our friends is pregnant and due in june.
she hardly looks pregnant. She has a controlled eating disorder she

confided to me a couple of years ago.
Do you remember when I was going to fly out to rhode Island for jimmys graduation,
last year. I canceled it due to covid and got credits not a refund...I had
up to 2 years to use it. Well just for grins I tried to get the credits. none has shown up
so I called customer service and they said they would research

and get back to me in 2-3 hours.That was 3 hours ago.
so am waiting patiently. Doing laundry that I forgot to do today.
sigh
It is after 10:30 and I am waiting for the phone call from delta
and finishing up drying my clothes so Jeff can dry the towels.
hugs for anybody who needs one.
Thanks for reading and following along my journey.
bizi

[*Beth*]

Hugs to you, bizi. You are such a compassionate caregiver. I admire you.


Geez, Delta had better straighten out your credits! I'd call them again, be the squeaky wheel. Seems like the only way anymore.

[bizi]

Thanks beth,
you are right the squeaky wheel gets the oil.
bizi

[buddha1too]

I notice that you consistently leave kind comments on other peoples posts or threads. You're a good person, bizi.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by buddha1too

I notice that you consistently leave kind comments on other peoples posts or threads. You're a good person, bizi.

I second that!

[bizi]

Thank you so very much.

I don't participate but for just a few people as I can't keep up on every one it is too over whelming to me.
I appreciate your compliment.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi
you too beth!

[TunedOut]

Originally Posted by bizi

I don't participate but for just a few people as I can't keep up on every one it is too over whelming to me.

For some of us, I think it is good self care to limit how much time we spend on this forum but I appreciate all the supportive people at PC! Additionally, for me, sometimes I feel like I have to be careful about posting because I have days where I feel like I am not as helpful/insightful, as in, I miss some of the finer points a poster is trying to convey--if that makes sense?

[bizi]

Originally Posted by TunedOut

For some of us, I think it is good self care to limit how much time we spend on this forum but I appreciate all the supportive people at PC! Additionally, for me, sometimes I feel like I have to be careful about posting because I have days where I feel like I am not as helpful/insightful, as in, I miss some of the finer points a poster is trying to convey--if that makes sense?

I think you are right. I have been on line too much lately.
I say I have an internet addiction.food and alcohol.
Today I ate and drank too much.
bizi