[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by TunedOut

For some of us, I think it is good self care to limit how much time we spend on this forum but I appreciate all the supportive people at PC! Additionally, for me, sometimes I feel like I have to be careful about posting because I have days where I feel like I am not as helpful/insightful, as in, I miss some of the finer points a poster is trying to convey--if that makes sense?

Being insightful isn't always necessary. It's just the support that means most, I think.

[bizi]

I especially like to think that when some one likes my post I feel that they have read what I wrote.Hugs and thanks are just as important to me as are written notes. So I thank you all for reading along with my thread!!!!!!
bizi

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by bizi

I especially like to think that when some one likes my post I feel that they have read what I wrote.Hugs and thanks are just as important to me as are written notes. So I thank you all for reading along with my thread!!!!!!
bizi

I agree. I know that some days, we can only manage a hug or a like - and that means so much to me.

[bizi]

Thank you ~Christina and Beth
bizi

[bizi]

I was in a near miss accident yesterday. I vow to not drink and drive.
bizi

[buddha1too]

Originally Posted by bizi

I was in a near miss accident yesterday. I vow to not drink and drive.
bizi

Yikes, bizi! As you know, I'm in recovery & still attend AA meetings. Momentarily setting aside the possibility you can kill someone else, yourself, or both (VERY serious considerations), do you realize the financial & legal ramifications of getting a DUI?

All it takes to be declared legally impaired in most states is four beers (0.08 blood alcohol level). You're talking about thousands of dollars in fines, lawyer fees, probation costs, increased car insurance rates, having to pay for urine drops; not to mention license suspensions or revocations, or even jail time. There are countless people who get "sentenced" to attend AA, so I constantly hear these horror stories at meetings. The legal system doesn't play around these days.

Please know I'm not judging you & don't mean to lecture (though it must seem like I am)...I'm just reflecting what I see & hear all the time. You're a good person, & I'd hate to see you suffer the consequences of getting behind the wheel after tipping a few. I'm afriad for you, bizi...You've acknowledged in the past that you have a problem. I sincerely hope your vow not to drink & drive sticks. When I was active in my addiction, though, my promises often went by the wayside...I hope your experience is different.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by buddha1too

Yikes, bizi! As you know, I'm in recovery & still attend AA meetings. Momentarily setting aside the possibility you can kill someone else, yourself, or both (VERY serious considerations), do you realize the financial & legal ramifications of getting a DUI?

All it takes to be declared legally impaired in most states is four beers (0.08 blood alcohol level). You're talking about thousands of dollars in fines, lawyer fees, probation costs, increased car insurance rates, having to pay for urine drops; not to mention license suspensions or revocations, or even jail time. There are countless people who get "sentenced" to attend AA, so I constantly hear these horror stories at meetings. The legal system doesn't play around these days.

Please know I'm not judging you & don't mean to lecture (though it must seem like I am)...I'm just reflecting what I see & hear all the time. You're a good person, & I'd hate to see you suffer the consequences of getting behind the wheel after tipping a few. I'm afriad for you, bizi...You've acknowledged in the past that you have a problem. I sincerely hope your vow not to drink & drive sticks. When I was active in my addiction, though, my promises often went by the wayside...I hope your experience is different.

thank you I have attended a few AA meetings, I like the meditation one.I forget what night this is I do have a friend to ask. She is big into AA. Carol is her name and she is 78 with some mild dementia. She was my sponsor for a bit. now we don't see each other, she is kind of abrasive.

thanks for your kind reminders of the the DUI ramifications, I would lose my nursing license too and my job as it involves driving here ans there.
bizi

[buddha1too]

I hope I didn't come off as a self-righteous AA member. Those types really get under my skin! I follow a rule that states, "Take what you need, & leave the rest." There are many things & many people in AA that aren't to my liking; AA been helpful in my case, though. I don't pretend that AA is the answer for everyone...because it's not. There are different groups:

AA Alternatives: 25 Sober Communities Beyond Alcoholics Anonymous

There are other methods of stopping, too (a drug called Antabuse) which might help you get over the hump if you think you need help. I'd start by discussing things with your therapist or pdoc to figure out what might work for you. Hell! Some people are even able to quit on their own! Whatever happens, I want you to stay safe, bizi. Good thoughts sent your way...

[Victoria'smom]

Bizi stay safe.

[*Beth*]

Oh, bizi. Thank the universe you're okay.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by buddha1too

I hope I didn't come off as a self-righteous AA member. Those types really get under my skin! I follow a rule that states, "Take what you need, & leave the rest." There are many things & many people in AA that aren't to my liking; AA been helpful in my case, though. I don't pretend that AA is the answer for everyone...because it's not. There are different groups:

AA Alternatives: 25 Sober Communities Beyond Alcoholics Anonymous

There are other methods of stopping, too (a drug called Antabuse) which might help you get over the hump if you think you need help. I'd start by discussing things with your therapist or pdoc to figure out what might work for you. Hell! Some people are even able to quit on their own! Whatever happens, I want you to stay safe, bizi. Good thoughts sent your way...

Thank you bhudda,MM,and beth, your support is invaluable.
bizi

[*Beth*]

BIG hug~

[bizi]

beth you are such a nice person!
bizi

[*Beth*]

[bizi]

jeff has been practicing piano pieces he bought a new keyboard and loves it he has been playing
a lot of his own original music. It has been nice to hear him play.
He will sing sometimes when I am not in the room.

I have been having bms of medium size almost daily at different times.
I take the gummie fiber squares 2 at bed time I take 2 sennas and

2 colace twice a day then the new capsules 3 of those at noon.
so far I am ok with this dosings, not sure though, I had to strain really hard today.
sigh
I need to get more fluids in me.
I saw 5 people today.
so that was good.
I have to get to bed earlier..I have to wash my hair tomorrow, it looks terrible.
Jeff joined me at fat pats for a gin and tonic I had summer shady. It was good.
We ended up eating there. I had a pile high pulled pork nachos. I have always

wondered what they would be like. I ate a few chips that were soggy and used

a fork to pick out the good stuff and ate it that way.There was a plate full of soggy chips

when I was finished eating the good stuff.

I called my tdoc to make an appointment with her and I will see her on the 26th at 9am.
I am feeling a bit depressed which is unlike me. Every day is a struggle to get up.
and I think about being able to go to bed as soon as possible. I am depressed with my life.

I am close to highest weight ever....I am sick of my self.
I try to make decisions about eating then
next thing I am eating nachos!!!!
sigh.
I am going to go to bed now, get ready for bed it takes me 30 minutes if I do all
that I should be doing face care.
I have been wearing a bite guard and it is going ok with it, I can now wear it most of the night.
bizi

[TunedOut]

Originally Posted by bizi

I am feeling a bit depressed which is unlike me. Every day is a struggle to get up.
and I think about being able to go to bed as soon as possible. I am depressed with my life.

I am close to highest weight ever....I am sick of my self.
I try to make decisions about eating then
next thing I am eating nachos!!!!
sigh.
bizi

Bizi--
Your husband sounds nice.

I am sorry you are feeling depressed. Sometimes I think my emotions and eating are too intertwined. Sometimes I think when we eat badly, it is a secret death wish! Am I being a bit dramatic saying that? I admire how much self control my husband has in regards to eating. Me? Not so much. It is an area I need to work on but sometimes put on the back seat when I am working because I will use coffee and food as motivation to keep working. How many hours are you working a week?

[~Christina]

Keep taking care of you

I hope your T session will be helpful. My T said he will likely be back in the office in May ! I hope so .. Zoom sessions just arent helpful for me

Soggy chips sound yuck but Nacho's Oooooooooooooooooh I want some !

[*Beth*]

I understand the eating issue. All of my life I've been a healthy eater, then when I had achilles surgery last May I got into the habit of eating poorly. Ordering junk food from Doordash, etc. Now I'm having a really hard time breaking the habit. I, too, am concerned that the way I'm eating is a death wish. I weigh far too much. I'm having a really hard time changing the habit. It's like I've lost focus. bizi, TunedOut- do you think the lousy eating tendency is a sign of depression?

[TunedOut]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Ordering junk food from Doordash, etc. Now I'm having a really hard time breaking the habit. I, too, am concerned that the way I'm eating is a death wish. I weigh far too much. I'm having a really hard time changing the habit. It's like I've lost focus. bizi, TunedOut- do you think the lousy eating tendency is a sign of depression?[/B]

@BethRagsI am sure you already know that Doordash isn't very good for our budgets either. IMO, sometimes a good first step is to plan out healthy meals and begin working on them (going to the store, preparing meals before you are ravenous) so that when you get hungry, you don't grab the things that are the worst for us. I keep buying chocolate but know when I buy it, I can only buy one serving. If I have multiple servings in the house, I keep going back to the bag even when I am not hungry. Perhaps it's a sugar addiction. I have heard people on Youtube (

) say that sugar can be very addicting and it hurts our immune system. So the most helpful thing for me is not to have it in the house. And yes, overeating might be a symptom of depression because when we are depressed, we feel bad and eating delicious things makes us temporarily feel good. I need to work on my own addiction to sugar. Perhaps the way I need to get started is to stop putting sugary substances in my coffee. I am currently doing a job grading achievement test questions and am finding myself grabbing coffee all or the time in order to maintain concentration. I find myself using different sugary substances in order vary the taste of my coffee. I already had some coffee this morning but will try not to put any more flavors in it that include sugar today.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by TunedOut

@BethRagsI am sure you already know that Doordash isn't very good for our budgets either. IMO, sometimes a good first step is to plan out healthy meals and begin working on them (going to the store, preparing meals before you are ravenous) so that when you get hungry, you don't grab the things that are the worst for us. I keep buying chocolate but know when I buy it, I can only buy one serving. If I have multiple servings in the house, I keep going back to the bag even when I am not hungry. Perhaps it's a sugar addiction. I have heard people on Youtube (

) say that sugar can be very addicting and it hurts our immune system. So the most helpful thing for me is not to have it in the house. And yes, overeating might be a symptom of depression because when we are depressed, we feel bad and eating delicious things makes us temporarily feel good. I need to work on my own addiction to sugar. Perhaps the way I need to get started is to stop putting sugary substances in my coffee. I am currently doing a job grading achievement test questions and am finding myself grabbing coffee all or the time in order to maintain concentration. I find myself using different sugary substances in order vary the taste of my coffee. I already had some coffee this morning but will try not to put any more flavors in it that include sugar today.

Exactly - our gas/electric company out here is letting payments slide because of the terrible wildfires they were responsible for. So I've been using Doordash instead of paying gas/electric. Stupid, stupid habit. I don't have a problem with overeating, it's what I'm eating that I'm upset about. And too much sugar. The coffee is an excellent example. I never, ever sweetened my coffee (yuck!)...until one day I did. After that I lost my taste for unsweetened coffee.


Maybe the depression is more a result of the bad habit, more than the other way around.

[bizi]

Just an FYI, stevia is a sweetener that is made from a plant. I use sweet leaf brand liquid droppers.I use 2 droppers ful they are half the dropper and I use 2 so it would really be just one full dropper. to sweeten my coffee. I also drink zevia soda pops. I like the different flavors that mimic brand name drinks like mountain dew, or dr. zevia, or black cherry.
all with zero sugars and I like the taste of them. They are very sweet and Ioften times dilute them with filtered water.
I also chew gum that has xylitol sweetener spry it is called I get it from myhealth food store. helps keep my mouth moving and hard to snack when I am chewing gum.
bizi who is 50 pounds over weight.!

[TunedOut]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Maybe the depression is more a result of the bad habit, more than the other way around.

Maybe--I forget where I heard these: We are what we think. (Perhaps too many negative thoughts about ourselves and others fuels depression?) and We are the result of the five people we spend the most time with. (So hang around people with good habits and positive attitudes?) I want to add in here that IMO isolation can be bad for depression and so can watching the news and other things that are negative.

Thanks for being so positive BethRags. I will always remember how encouraging you were about my ability to beat my cancer (that your sister beat hers) and appreciate all the encouragement you provide here. Can you go to the grocery store now?

Originally Posted by bizi

Just an FYI, stevia is a sweetener that is made from a plant. I use sweet leaf brand liquid droppers.I use 2 droppers ful they are half the dropper and I use 2 so it would really be just one full dropper. to sweeten my coffee. I also drink zevia soda pops. I like the different flavors that mimic brand name drinks like mountain dew, or dr. zevia, or black cherry.
all with zero sugars and I like the taste of them. They are very sweet and Ioften times dilute them with filtered water.
I also chew gum that has xylitol sweetener spry it is called I get it from myhealth food store. helps keep my mouth moving and hard to snack when I am chewing gum.
bizi who is 50 pounds over weight.!

I recently bought some Stevia drops (read the liquid is better because the dry stevia has additives in order to make it more measurable for recipes--I use the dry stevia in this recipe: Mackie'''s Low Carb/Sugar Free Cheesecake Recipe - Food.com which is wonderful as is but even better when you exchange the sour cream for whipped cream and add about a quarter cup of cocoa powder. I also pair it with a nut crust (hazelnut, almond or walnut). When I went to the store yesterday, I did not buy any sugary things.

Bizi, I have been following some of your blogs on and off for a while (since 2016 or 2017?) and know how how much you have been struggling with this. I think that many of the drugs that help us with mental health issues make us gain weight. I truly hope they can discover some weight neutral ones. Some of the current ones make you feel hungrier all of the time. Though you are still overweight, haven't you made a lot of progress despite the medications that you take that fuel hunger? I had chemotherapy last year which caused me to lose about 18 pounds but I have gained about 7 pounds of it back. Though I am still overweight, I would be happy with just staying at my current weight (the 7 pound gain has made my clothes fit better and I don't want to have to buy new clothes.) I am going to get serious about not eating sugary things. Mostly, I eat really healthy--usually a vegetable omelet with cheese in the morning, salads (much of it from our garden), vegetable stir fries, and meat. Bizi, I also appreciate how positive and encouraging you are too!

[*Beth*]

Wow, thank you TunedOut. I'm honored. You've been through so much, and stay so level-headed. Yes, I do go to the grocery, although it's always a challenge to take that first step out the door. But I do it.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by bizi

Just an FYI, stevia is a sweetener that is made from a plant. I use sweet leaf brand liquid droppers.I use 2 droppers ful they are half the dropper and I use 2 so it would really be just one full dropper. to sweeten my coffee. I also drink zevia soda pops. I like the different flavors that mimic brand name drinks like mountain dew, or dr. zevia, or black cherry.
all with zero sugars and I like the taste of them. They are very sweet and Ioften times dilute them with filtered water.
I also chew gum that has xylitol sweetener spry it is called I get it from myhealth food store. helps keep my mouth moving and hard to snack when I am chewing gum.
bizi who is 50 pounds over weight.!

I so wish I liked stevia. It's such a healthy alternative. Anyway, I'm drinking coffee with no sweetener again and I don't drink sweetened drinks. Good idea on the gum! I used to love to chew gum, but forgot about it. TunedOut is correct about the psych meds being weight gainers. Seems that researchers would come up with a better situation with the meds, as far as creating drugs that don't cause weight gain. More people would stay on their meds, that's for sure.

[bizi]

Thank you all for the words of support and encouragement,

I appreciate you guys!
bizi