Normalizing

After talking to my T yesterday I realize I normalize stuff a lot. So much so that it prevents me from getting help. I normalize everything from voices to SH urges. How do i stop doing that?

I can understand this, I do it a bit too. I think I just get used to it and don't realize how bad it can be. I don't know how to stop doing this, but perhaps working on validating your experience could be helpful. If you tend to brush it off as no big deal, maybe you aren't acknowledging how much it really impacts you? Perhaps writing about it and how it affects you could be an idea. Do you tend to be someone who ignores your needs? I know I used to do that, and I think that was tied into it. Trying to pretend it didn't matter to me, when really it was quite hard. Perhaps your therapist would have some tips for this issue? It's good you are recognizing it I think.

So Sorry this is happening! yellow_fleurs already gave you some excellent advice. Try to write down the things that you are normalizing or not acknowledging as much as they should somewhere so that you will Hopefully start to recognize this process and perhaps even potentially discuss it with your therapist during your sessions, if you truly want. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Miguel'smom, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

Another awful word

That abusive T talked about ''normalizing'' - that was what I ''should'' do

What a ****ing load of CRAP

sorry about the grrrrr

It requires trust ... a leap in the dark.... to be more open with these people.

In this forest, they bite, hard

I hope it is not so where you are

I read in the check in thread that your T is leaving

I don't often read in the check in thread.

Wondering how you're feeling about her leaving (mixed feelings?)

Wow. Thank you for posting this, Mm. I do the same thing, but I never had a word for it. I know that a lot of T's tell us that one way to feel better is to "act as if." Maybe that works for a few people (maybe). I get caught up in it, though...I was conditioned to act "as if" things were normal in my childhood home when the truth was that it was a freak show.


Anyway, I hope someone here has ideas about this, because I'd like to know, too.

I don't think that ''acting as if'' is helpful for me either. My childhood ''home'' was a freak show in many ways and it was ''all about appearing ''normal'' (when the ''reality'' was far from ''normal'' or ''ok''

I don't really know how it's impacting me because it's me and I've lived like this my whole life. I've lived with voices since I was 8 and sh since 11. And I've always been paranoid of people. So staying by myself and not being in a group when out has always been very difficult for me. I took stranger danger way to heart. I do ignore my needs. I'm going to have to ask my new therapist about it.


Thank you MickeyCheeky I'm going to start writing things down again.

She said normalizing like it was a bad thing. So we'll see what new T says. I'm sorry you had an abusive therapist. I've had some really bad therapist so I'm pretty concerned about getting a new one.

I acted when I was younger because I don't want my parents to find out about my mental illness. It became normal to me. Now I have trouble with figuring out what's abnormal and what's normal. So there are tons of things that I don't bring up that I probably should. It calls into question how healthy my relationship. As well as how I'm actually doing.

I don't think normalizing is such a bad thing. It's survival for us. The bad part is that it's preventing you from getting help. Is there a way you can write a list of whatever things are going on? Or like write a list of symptoms you get in general (maybe have a t help with this) and before talking to your t or pdoc look at the list and check off whatever symptoms you're having, regardless of whether it's "normal" or not? A list is a good idea too.

I do the same regarding normalizing and it would prevent my team from getting the whole picture. Now I talk about whatever just anything that pops into my head comes out to her unless it's obscene and sure sometimes we spend a whole session on stupid **** but also now she knows things that if I didn't have that "strategy" she wouldn't know. We do check-ups at the beginning of session where she asks if I'm having any symptoms--which is typically too general for me and I might not always see things as symptoms--then asks about specific things like how often I've been showering, how I'm sleeping, if I'm still able to do my normal activities, and such.

I totally normalize things about my illness. I do a lot of reality checking with my therapist and even random people that I might interact with. “Is it normal that ... Do you also find yourself doing such and such...”

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Black Dog I totally normalize things about my illness. I do a lot of reality checking with my therapist and even random people that I might interact with. “Is it normal that ... Do you also find yourself doing such and such...”

I think normalizing is pretending that things are "normal", acting as if you're okay when you're not...detaching yourself from an abnormal situation or inner pain so as to appear normal to others.