My day was ruined by a screw-up by the pharmacy. They've been really intrusive and interfering ever since i started my benzo taper. Like, it's none of their business! My doctor gives them instructions and they are just to follow them. There is one pharmacist who is a complete moron and asked the stupidest question today. And it's not like she called me to ask, it's just when my delivery was two days late and i called in that she asked.

I've been experimenting with expressing my anger so i told her it was "poor service" which was pretty diplomatic compared to what i wanted to say. She insisted there was confusion but it is all on their end and their failure to follow my doctors instructions. Who do these people think they are? They're just pill-counters!

I'll be so glad when i'm done with benzos and don't have to deal with this crap. Expressing my anger didn't really work out any better because i still spent the day fuming and didn't enjoy one of my ZOOM events, didn't even stay til the end, i couldn't concentrate.

I just can't seem to win with anger. If i suppress it it ruins my day and if i express it it ruins my day.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m feeling run down today. There’s no pep in my step like there usually is. I’ve dropped off on the self care as my care giving responsibilities grow. That’s a big no-no according to my therapist. Like who has time? I did say I’d work on it.

Mom got lost yesterday and abruptly stopped in the middle of the road. We almost got nailed by an 18 wheeler who had to drive onto the shoulder to avoid us. I looked up and saw that grill and my life passed before my eyes. There have been other things as well. She’ll not give up the keys easily so for now I’m just telling her I’d like to go with her everywhere and drive. She has surgery for a hole in her eye tomorrow that will take a year to heal so I can use that as an excuse to drive and ease her into not driving. It’s a sensitive topic and puts more stress on me but that’s how it is.

The near accident sounds scary. I'm sorry your mom is at this point. My dad had his drivers license suspended a while back, by a doctor, though he wasn't driving anyway since he's been at an assisted living facility. Perhaps you could join you mom at a doctor's appointment and discuss it with the doctor? They may flat out tell her to stop driving rather than go as far as having the license suspended.

[Soupe du jour]

I had another horrible nights sleep. At one point, I woke up with my heart racing and called for Hubby to come and rub my back to help sooth the panic. I again moved to the futon in the wee hours of the morning. I just wish our new bed would finally arrive already, but now I fear what felt good in the furniture outlet won't be as comfortable when we get it. I am also suspecting that my poor diet, stress, and other factors may be contributing to all of this. I've decided to reduce my caffeine, sugar, and alcohol intake a lot. I don't abuse alcohol anymore, but occasionally I drink more than is comfortable. Last night was one such night, and I suffered the consequences.

I called my father for the first time in ages. The conversation was awkward, as usual, and I felt unhappy at the end. That's part of why I call infrequently. I also did a WhatsApp call with my sister. That was nicer and she seemed excited to see and hear me.

My mood is a little low. How much is due to my poor sleep, I don't know. I'll try to lift it a bit by getting out. It's another beautiful day in Czech Republic. Right now at 11:30 am it is 65 F (18 C). The high will be around 75 F (24 C).

[Ginger Mary]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Maybe I'm truly crazy, but I could swear I've had some psychiatric symptoms from the first vaccine. Earlier in the week I was feeling fairly depressed. Last night the depression coupled with anxiety the likes of which I haven't felt in ages. I'm definitely listing the possible side effects on the "reporting side effects" link they gave to me when I was vaccinated. I'm not complaining, just noticing. I'm quite certain that little or no research was done on the psych effects of the covid vaccines.

I haven't had the vaccine yet, but I talked to my pdoc about it. She's had it and she said it made her feel miserable (physically and emotionally) for a day. And seriously. If anything gets her down, then it can certainly get anyone else down. She's just one of those unstoppably healthy and happy people.
I'll still get it as soon as I qualify though. Being in South Africa that might take a while.

[Victoria'smom]

I get my injection today and I'm stressed as hell about it. My head is doing mental gymnastics to convince me not to go. But my husband got out of me how I feel. Numb, like someone reached in and stole my sole which makes it painful to breath and my chests tight and nauseous. So depressed?

[Mountaindewed]

We’re still waiting on the house. We sold the house as is and then after the inspection the buyers went and told us what was wrong with the house, which they shouldn’t have done. So now they are asking $5 thousand to fix these things. The realtor and lawyer are telling my mom to just give them the money. The realtor was on speakerphone this morning and said “just give them the money and, then **** them.” They are being really shady and if the offer falls through my mom is legally obligated to fix the things that are wrong with the house. Also we’d lose the new house and have to start everything all over again. The selling and buying which disrupted a huge amount of people’s schedule last week. Because we had to stay at 2 different peoples houses all day while they were showing the house for 2 days, then we had to disrupt my sister while we looked for a house for 2 days. Not to mention the ton of money that was spent on hotels, food and gas.

It’s been a big headache and stress for my mom. Overall I’m doing good today.

Originally Posted by Ginger Mary

I haven't had the vaccine yet, but I talked to my pdoc about it. She's had it and she said it made her feel miserable (physically and emotionally) for a day. And seriously. If anything gets her down, then it can certainly get anyone else down. She's just one of those unstoppably healthy and happy people.
I'll still get it as soon as I qualify though. Being in South Africa that might take a while.

Welcome to the check in thread, Ginger Mary!

[buddha1too]

@Soupe du jour...It seems your nights have been pretty hellish lately; that's bound to affect how you feel during the day. I gather you're doing everything humanly possible to solve the issues, though...examining things in a clear-headed manner. I don't mean to question your, or your pdoc's views on the subject, but I view PRN benzos as a necessary evil. After all, you're being forced to adjust to many new situations in one fell swoop. Just my opinion. Hopefully the weather & an outing will improved your mood today & will help you get a better night's rest. I also hope your new mattress wasn't stuck in the bottleneck at the Suez Canal!

Today is opening day for major league baseball. My Detroit Tigers will win the World Series this year...APRIL FOOLS!!! Actually, they stink. Baseball has been a constant througthout my life, so I'm glad to see another season begin.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by buddha1too

@Soupe du jour...It seems your nights have been pretty hellish lately; that's bound to affect how you feel during the day. I gather you're doing everything humanly possible to solve the issues, though...examining things in a clear-headed manner. I don't mean to question your, or your pdoc's views on the subject, but I view PRN benzos as a necessary evil. After all, you're being forced to adjust to many new situations in one fell swoop. Just my opinion. Hopefully the weather & an outing will improved your mood today & will help you get a better night's rest. I also hope your new mattress wasn't stuck in the bottleneck at the Suez Canal!

Today is opening day for major league baseball. My Detroit Tigers will win the World Series this year...APRIL FOOLS!!! Actually, they stink. Baseball has been a constant througthout my life, so I'm glad to see another season begin.

Thanks, buddah1too! Luckily the bed is not from IKEA. It is being made, to my knowledge, within Czech Rep. That doesn't mean it will be quick, though. It is a very nice bedroom suite that should be built to last the rest of my life...unlike IKEA. But it is tough waiting. And when we get it, I hope it does the trick. Unless something extra bad happens in the meantime, I'll try to wait to see.

I like baseball, too. When I was first dating my husband, in New Jersey, we once went to a pub that had some on the TV. Hubby asked me to explain the game. During my explanation, some stranger man came up to us and asked "Are you kidding me?!?!" finding it jaw-dropping that my husband knew nothing about the game.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m feeling run down today. There’s no pep in my step like there usually is. I’ve dropped off on the self care as my care giving responsibilities grow. That’s a big no-no according to my therapist. Like who has time? I did say I’d work on it.

Mom got lost yesterday and abruptly stopped in the middle of the road. We almost got nailed by an 18 wheeler who had to drive onto the shoulder to avoid us. I looked up and saw that grill and my life passed before my eyes. There have been other things as well. She’ll not give up the keys easily so for now I’m just telling her I’d like to go with her everywhere and drive. She has surgery for a hole in her eye tomorrow that will take a year to heal so I can use that as an excuse to drive and ease her into not driving. It’s a sensitive topic and puts more stress on me but that’s how it is.

I well remember going through the driving turmoil with my mom. It had gotten to where she was a danger on the road. My sister and I were constantly anxious, thinking we'd get a call about our mom causing an accident any day. She flatly refused to give up driving. Just about the time we were going to become really insistent, her car was stolen. Not driving was extremely hard on her, but the car theft may have been a blessing in disguise.

I wish I could unscrew my back.

it really, really hurts today- more than usual, which is strange because I've not really done anything to trigger it

but ow

I also just finished taking one of those annoying surveys.

conducted by bipolar UK about diagnoses and such

15 minits it said

more like 45..

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Ginger Mary

I haven't had the vaccine yet, but I talked to my pdoc about it. She's had it and she said it made her feel miserable (physically and emotionally) for a day. And seriously. If anything gets her down, then it can certainly get anyone else down. She's just one of those unstoppably healthy and happy people.
I'll still get it as soon as I qualify though. Being in South Africa that might take a while.

Thank you, Ginger Mary. I knew there had to be others who had emotional side effects from the vaccine. I think that as usual, mental health side effects are not discussed much.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by buddha1too

...
Today is opening day for major league baseball. My Detroit Tigers will win the World Series this year...APRIL FOOLS!!! Actually, they stink. Baseball has been a constant througthout my life, so I'm glad to see another season begin.

Opening day! I'll be watching my team, the San Francisco Giants. Maaaybe they have a chance this year.

[Moose72]

My eye dr appointment lasted from 2:15 to 4:30! It was great. My eyes haven't changed that much. I tried the green contacts on- two different shades. I just didn't think the effect was worth the extra cost so I bought clear ones. I bought a year's worth- 30 days per pair- throw them away after 30 days. My insurance paid for the exam AND a pair of bifocal glasses! So I have an updated script though it hasn't changed a lot. I dried my hair straight this morning because it was 25 degrees and I wanted to go out and pay my rent and I didn't want my hair to freeze. So my mom asked me to take a photo of myself smiling so here it is- me smiling!

[Mountaindewed]

My mom and our realtor asked the buyers realtor to ask the buyers if they’d take $2000. But they said no. They wanted $5000. With this market and how nice the house we got was, we are done fighting with them and will just give them the money. But what they did was very unethical and shady.

[Soupe du jour]

I finally had a "better" night's sleep last night. I'm sure taking an Ativan helped. I attempted to sleep upstairs, but woke up quickly with an incredible thirst. After hazerdously going downstairs for water, I stayed down and went to the futon. Upon waking up the second time, I didn't even notice hand tingling. Just the mildest muscle aches.

Yesterday we bought our very first gas grill. I'm very excited! However, it needs to be assembled, a daunting task for us.

Attached is a bit of spring/Easter spirit on my kitchen table. Czechs really get into spring customs, even though they are not particularly religious here.

[Mountaindewed]

I feel kind of bad today about stuff I thought I already got through processing. Today is kinda tough. I get my fake period on Monday. So maybe that is why I’m emotional today. Before it was 12 days of bad PMS and tons of SI SH and SA during those 12 days. Now after my dose was switched to weekly, my moods are more even and this PMS I just feel kinda sad. But it just started today so 3 hopefully mild days instead of 12 really bad days is a huge improvement.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Moose72

My eye dr appointment lasted from 2:15 to 4:30! It was great. My eyes haven't changed that much. I tried the green contacts on- two different shades. I just didn't think the effect was worth the extra cost so I bought clear ones. I bought a year's worth- 30 days per pair- throw them away after 30 days. My insurance paid for the exam AND a pair of bifocal glasses! So I have an updated script though it hasn't changed a lot. I dried my hair straight this morning because it was 25 degrees and I wanted to go out and pay my rent and I didn't want my hair to freeze. So my mom asked me to take a photo of myself smiling so here it is- me smiling!

YAY!!! Your insurance paid!!! Congratulations on your new contacts - you look wonderful!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I finally had a "better" night's sleep last night. I'm sure taking an Ativan helped. I attempted to sleep upstairs, but woke up quickly with an incredible thirst. After hazerdously going downstairs for water, I stayed down and went to the futon. Upon waking up the second time, I didn't even notice hand tingling. Just the mildest muscle aches.

Yesterday we bought our very first gas grill. I'm very excited! However, it needs to be assembled, a daunting task for us.

Attached is a bit of spring/Easter spirit on my kitchen table. Czechs really get into spring customs, even though they are not particularly religious here.

Thanks for the lovely photo! The eggs are so bright and pretty - and what a relief, that you had a better night of sleep.

[*Beth*]

A rotten sleep last night. Ugh. It's taking me up to 2 hours to fall asleep now. I suspect the melatonin is not working anymore. I'm also taking only a tiny fraction of Seroquel at bedtime - I'm determined to come off the stuff.


The good news is that I'll be picking up my car today (from the mechanic)! My achilles surgery was in May; between that and my broken car I haven't been driving for nearly 11 months. How exciting it will feel to go where I want, when I want! Especially at this lovely time of the year.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Moose72

My eye dr appointment lasted from 2:15 to 4:30! It was great. My eyes haven't changed that much. I tried the green contacts on- two different shades. I just didn't think the effect was worth the extra cost so I bought clear ones. I bought a year's worth- 30 days per pair- throw them away after 30 days. My insurance paid for the exam AND a pair of bifocal glasses! So I have an updated script though it hasn't changed a lot. I dried my hair straight this morning because it was 25 degrees and I wanted to go out and pay my rent and I didn't want my hair to freeze. So my mom asked me to take a photo of myself smiling so here it is- me smiling!

you are very pretty , love the smile!
bizi

[Sunflower123]

I tried to go to the mall to pick up some yellow box flip flops (really the only shoe I wear year round) and the traffic was horrible. I’ll try again tomorrow early in the morning hopefully before the crowds descend.

Easter is still on for some quiet time, a good meal, a good book and a rented movie or two. Much less stressful. My daughter will call. I’ve got to get moving to get the house ready for my brother’s birthday celebration tomorrow.

I’ve told my siblings we need to talk. We have an aging parent who needs an increased level of care and it’s a group effort. They have been MIA and the load falls to me. It’s getting a bit heavy especially with the driving thing. That needs to change. I’ll approach it diplomatically and see how things shake out.

I hope everyone that celebrates Easter has a wonderful day!

[~Christina]

Thanks everyone for the support. Means so much

At this point basically My husband walks me when ever I get up in the house to go anywhere, Drives me crazy. But there have been so many times that if he wasnt right there I would have fallen again. Ive also had a nasty GI bug all week so thats not helping at all. I did fall a couple times heading to the bathroom when he was sleeping.

So whoever has a VooDoo doll of me can please just stop that would be great

I think we have just had our last " cold snap" of the year last night 20 something, So some plants had to be covered outside.

Anyone have any fun weekend plans ???

Hugs to all

[Mountaindewed]

The buyers pulled out. No clue why. We gave them the money they asked. So now our realtor is calling around to see if any of the other bidders still want it. I hope it does work out. I really liked the house we are getting.

Edit: It looks like we have a possible buyer. From someone who also put in an offer. I hope this works or else we’d have to list it again and deep clean again and show it all day Monday. Which means being out of the house all day again. So hopefully this works.

This evening I feel better than I have all day. I took 2 unisom and my Geodon and I am in bed in my space where I can just relax and unwind.