[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Sapien

Yesterday I was told to go back to taking 1200mg of lithium/day, so I did. Last night after dinner I passed out on the couch! Only slept about two hours (the first block of sleep, got another two in from 1am-3am), but that was definitely an improvement from anxiously passing time until midnight and then being up at 2am. I feel amped, I think I'm going to try going for a run soon, see how my hip does.

Edit: omg, I just realized today is 100 days clean and sober!!!

Congratulations !!!! That is Fantastic

Hope the increase works quickly, years ago when I took it I noticed a difference pretty quick when increasing dose .. Hope you enjoyed your run

[*Beth*]

The forum was down for several hours last night. Frustrating.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m back to being in my right mind today. I was getting really worried there. I’m lucid, functioning well and am happy and content. I was totally incapable of taking care of mother and brother for a few days and it all worked out. I must do a better job of protecting my mental and physical health in future. Still, my sister’s recommendation of putting my brother in a home just doesn’t sit well with me.

My daughter and I went to Red Lobster last night. Love that coconut shrimp and those crispy brussel sprouts! We went to the swimming pool late this morning. It’s 77 and breezy here so a little cool in the pool. I still enjoyed it immensely. Tomorrow we’re going to see F9 and then on to a venue to listen to two bands and to see fireworks. That should be enjoyable. Her visit couldn’t have come at a better time.

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend and a wonderful 4th.

So Happy that your feeling better.. Pool, yummy dinner and time with M... Sounds perfect

Yes doing self care is hard when someone needs so much care, I can relate. But do make sure you take time daily to do a mental check in with yourself and carve out time to do something you enjoy or do nothing at all

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by xRavenx

I don't know where else to write this and just want to get this off of my chest. I woke up, something triggered me, and then my mind keeps racing and racing. I am full of anxiety and intrusive thoughts that go along with it. I can't seem to turn it off, and my stomach is hurting. Then I just stare off into space not having any clue what to do. The pain is just too much, and I can't handle it anymore. When I'm not in this terrible state, my mood is elevated. But it is getting harder and harder to focus. I don't know if this is rapid cycling or mixed or just hypomanic with anxiety. I feel like I am having a breakdown and ended up taking a klonopin.

I have no Magic words.. Do you have a T ? if so maybe get in sooner? Also with Pdoc or NP any sooner?

Did the Klonopin help? I sure hope so

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

We are home from vacation finally! I had some fun but I am so relieved to be back at my home base with no one but RS and my son around. I was upset this morning and I couldn’t shake it for a couple of hours but once we got to the bridge and tunnels I was ok. I am just not a beach girl. I suggested we should go up to upstate New York near the Adirondacks one year. I used to go to a lake there when I was very little with my family while my dad was alive. It’s one of my few good memories.

I texted my mom real quick to let her know we were home and she said she was on her way to my uncle’s and then going to stay overnight at my grandma’s. My mother hates her brother so I’m wondering if his mystery illness is getting worse. Unless they’re having a bbq, they used to. My uncle’s birthday is the sixth so maybe that’s all it is. But I’m not going to ask because a) I don’t like my uncle anyway and b) if everyone wants to continue to be secretive and passive aggressive they can go for it but I’m not getting involved anymore.

Personally I think 45 years of heavy drinking is catching up with my uncle but I could be totally wrong. But I’ll probably never know because he won’t even tell his wife so whatever.

Hey there !

I am so glad that the vacation wasnt as bad as you were expecting, you know how I get making the stupid trips to Florida..

Yes being back home is such a huge relief and you can find your balance.

I'll sit here and type how you should not beat yourself up over a meal But yeah I get that also.. When Steve was diagnosed with Diabetes ( he was first) I googled and looked at all kinds of sample meals etc. I was beyond frustrated.. Our Doctor set us up with the Hospital Dietician.. Oh that helped me Soooooo Much ! She helped me to read the food labels on all foods and what means what and how XYZ effects Diabetes and its not just the Sugar content. I left with tons of information, guide books, cook books.. A giant tower of things to read. Normally I am fine googling anything online, But actually having the physical papers and books in hand really made a huge difference in my understanding how to manage food and a new lifestyle, I refuse to say Diet.

Maybe seeing someone can help you?? What also really helped is there was Zero judgement I had taken a list of what I had been cooking a few things she said okay split meals a bit .. Like instead of eating X on Monday and Y on Tuesday she said take One meal on Monday and that other one on Thursday. Certainly there were some foods I just cant make but once every blue moon.

I wont lie there are sometimes that I truly thought if I saw a elderly person holding a Reece cup I'll Just go grab it LOL

Life is so hard and throw food difficulty with food and how you feel mentally?? Geeeezzzzzzzzzzz its so wonder we struggle so much

Hang in there

[Mountaindewed]

I just spent 1.5 hours reading old posts. It seemed like I was having a lot of vague health anxiety this past winter. But I also was reading that my primary told me that kidney issues can cause your mental health meds not to work. My kidneys have still been messed up so I’m wondering if that’s why my meds seem to have crapped out on me. Then I was reading about all the transference I was having with that one therapist. But still feeling messed up and sad about her after I ended things. Geeze what a mess. I hope tomorrow goes decently so I can forget both of those therapists.

But the kidney thing really has me thinking. I also remembered that at home UTI kits exist. So I’ll get one of those tomorrow when I go to Walmart in the morning to do some shopping. I plan on going out to eat after therapy. My mom complained today that I don’t do anything all day and that I’m dealing with depression. But I had planned on doing things tomorrow.

I told my mom to hide all my meds early tonight. I took out the stuff I needed for tonight, just my normal stuff. And my morning Geodon for tomorrow. Then she took the basket and hid it in her room. I took my 2 zzquil melatonin’s but nothing else that I shouldn’t be taking.

[Nammu]

Mum and I went for a early dinner late lunch. All the mum and pop restaurants we wanted to eat at were closed! We ended up at Perkins ( kind of like Denny’s and ihop.) there were a lot of people there. But not else where.. We drove around to all the parks and the two lakes and there is nobody! Main Street was deserted. It used to be that people went to the parks on July 4th. But the food was very good. Had shrimp 🍤 and broccoli 🥦 with strawberry pie to go.

[~Christina]

Well my Garbage lungs took another 2 different hits yesterday.. I'm nebulizing around the clock. I have Steroids I can take but being so Mixed that easily could cause put me in alot of danger.. I'm running about 88 But I'm having drops down into low 80's so yeah that is not so good.. Its the hacking cough that Asthma attacks are all about. My voice is gone which Hey Steve gets a break from my Yakking, SO much pressured speech it drives me crazy. He's a true guy and can totally tune me out when needed thankfully.

I am literally so sick of ALL my health problems. Some I have no control over. I look over my every growing med list and even my NP doesn't see anything we can cut out.. and I don't even want to think what psych med this new Psych NP might suggest and what meds I could possibly consider..

Yesterday I got very dizzy I am sure my oxygen levels were very low that I fell in the damn shower.. Like really ???

So I have decided I'm just gonna shut up about all my physical and psych problems and spend days deciding what septum ring I will want once the piercing heals. Oh and I found a cat/dog toy.. its a fish and it uses motion sensors and flops all over.. I think Gus would have a ball with it. So yes I can spend days wandering Amazon , Ebay and any sites trying to find just the right stuff..

Oh I dont know if there are any people here who like Toms shoes?? They are having a huge sale, I got a pair with Foxes on them 24.99 ! They also have tons for 19.99.. Just throwing that out there. I just could never justify buying a pair at full price.. My Visa just cant even peek out of my wallet for many things that are just to expensive.

Hope everyone is having a Wonderful 4th of July

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Mum and I went for a early dinner late lunch. All the mum and pop restaurants we wanted to eat at were closed! We ended up at Perkins ( kind of like Denny’s and ihop.) there were a lot of people there. But not else where.. We drove around to all the parks and the two lakes and there is nobody! Main Street was deserted. It used to be that people went to the parks on July 4th. But the food was very good. Had shrimp 🍤 and broccoli 🥦 with strawberry pie to go.

Strawberry pie I bet it was outta this world !

I'm glad you and Mum had a lovely day

[Nammu]

I googled toms shoes, nice but I wouldn’t wear them, I pretty much wear crocs all the time. I had a favorite pair of leather sandals that I wore to pieces then got my crocs. Toms are pretty though, of course the ones I liked best weren’t on sale!

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Strawberry pie I bet it was outta this world !

I'm glad you and Mum had a lovely day

We’re saving the pie to eat when we watch the fireworks tonight on TV

[*Beth*]

Ugh, I'm so sorry about all the health issues. I know that feeling of "I'm taking too many meds" then you review the list and realize every med is necessary.

I've seen the flopping fish, Gus will love it!

Your Tom's sound so cute. I love foxes. One of my covid masks has foxes all over it.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

I googled toms shoes, nice but I wouldn’t wear them, I pretty much wear crocs all the time. I had a favorite pair of leather sandals that I wore to pieces then got my crocs. Toms are pretty though, of course the ones I liked best weren’t on sale!

Like I legit hate Crocs.. I remember when they first came out I was like YUCKKKKKKKKKKKK !

Well me taking the dogs back and forth to the pasture I needed something quick to slide on. I found fake ones for 1.99 a couple years ago at a feed store LOL So yeah I have fake ones, I am not a fan of how they feel whether name brand or dirt cheap knock offs. But they are easy to step into LOL

I really miss my cute sandals I use to buy and wear, Cute heels on some.. Fibro and PsA have taken away my ability to wear any kind of heel. I do have one pair of boots that have a heel but it's a block heel so they feel like flats..

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Ugh, I'm so sorry about all the health issues. I know that feeling of "I'm taking too many meds" then you review the list and realize every med is necessary.

I've seen the flopping fish, Gus will love it!

Your Tom's sound so cute. I love foxes. One of my covid masks has foxes all over it.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I never had any cute masks, Boring ugly medical ones.

Yeah I think Gus will love it.. But I have to watch Dexter he literally will tear something to shreds in a nano second..

[wildflowerchild25]

@~Christina

I really think a meeting with a nutritionist would help me immensely. Since I have the physical coming up I’m definitely going to bring it up. I have a membership with planet fitness and they offer a free consultation with a personal trainer to help outline an exercise plan too. I’m with you, I need some sort of physical paperwork to look back on! I feel like I need to print out all the handouts from my groups too, so I can have a mental health coping binder and then a physical health binder as well!

I know you’ve had so much going on physically and mentally in all these years I’ve known you on here. I would tell you a lame platitude like “it’ll get better” but that won’t help! Just know you’ve always got support here and we are also always here to just listen to the “complaints”!

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by leomama

Glad that people are posting about it now. First crazy thought I had was “was I banned for being too harsh? Did someone complain about me?” Lol, that’s where my mind goes.

That thought occured to me also. Have they banned me? wtf did I do? I was banned on another site, not for being too harsh but for being too... idk... open. Ironic And they were very mean on that site, the mods..

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

That thought occured to me also. Have they banned me? wtf did I do? I was banned on another site, not for being too harsh but for being too... idk... open. Ironic And they were very mean on that site, the mods..

Which site, if I may ask. I’ve banned before from a couple of sites, different ones, a long time ago.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by leomama

Which site, if I may ask. I’ve banned before from a couple of sites, different ones, a long time ago.

It's ok to ask, I'd rather not say though. It was a very weird site imo. My first time on the internet, long ago. Which sites were you banned from, if its ok to ask?

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

It's ok to ask, I'd rather not say though. It was a very weird site imo. My first time on the internet, long ago. Which sites were you banned from, if its ok to ask?

Well if we’re not going to share . Would you be comfortable saying the kind of site? I wasn’t really asking for the name as that would out me too.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

@~Christina

I really think a meeting with a nutritionist would help me immensely. Since I have the physical coming up I’m definitely going to bring it up. I have a membership with planet fitness and they offer a free consultation with a personal trainer to help outline an exercise plan too. I’m with you, I need some sort of physical paperwork to look back on! I feel like I need to print out all the handouts from my groups too, so I can have a mental health coping binder and then a physical health binder as well!

I know you’ve had so much going on physically and mentally in all these years I’ve known you on here. I would tell you a lame platitude like “it’ll get better” but that won’t help! Just know you’ve always got support here and we are also always here to just listen to the “complaints”!

Thanks so much Hun

I wish we had a planet fitness here.. but small town? Nope there are 3 private owned gym's and all are almost 50 a month now ! ummmmm NOPE.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by leomama

Well if we’re not going to share . Would you be comfortable saying the kind of site? I wasn’t really asking for the name as that would out me too.

It was a large site with a mental health section too. And there was not an ability to PM. People could not PM the people they got on with on there. That was the case for all the members. As for the mods? idk.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

It was a large site with a mental health section too. And there was not an ability to PM. People could not PM the people they got on with on there. That was the case for all the members. As for the mods? idk.

One of the sites was a religious site , another one was a support site for family members of people with a personality disorder. Again also a long time ago.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by leomama

One of the sites was a religious site , another one was a support site for family members of people with a personality disorder. Again also a long time ago.

Yeah it was a very long time ago for me too.

I think I may have read a bit on one of those sites long ago, it sounds familiar. (Of course, I guess there could have been several idk) I have family members with a personality disorder.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Yeah it was a very long time ago for me too.

I think I may have read a bit on one of those sites long ago, it sounds familiar. (Of course, I guess there could have been several idk) I have family members with a personality disorder.

I had a partner whom I thought had a personality disorder, turns out he has an autism spectrum disorder. There are a few different sites like that.

[Moose72]

Went out to lunch with a friend today. I ate WAY too much and not healthfully, either! I had onion rings, a cheese burger, fries and ice cream pie for dessert. We shared the pie at least. It was huge.

Just did my laundry which is nice so I'll have something clean to wear to my dentist appointment. I don't think I should wear the top with the hole/clasp in the top of the chest area- cleavage and all and they are hanging over you the whole time you're there! Did I tell you that there are TVs with on-demand movies and TV shows at the dentist? Yes. It's entertaining while you wait to be numb or whenever they leave and don't come back forever. Too bad you can't watch while the work is actually being done! (You are looking up at the ceiling or the dentist's/assistant's big face!)

Wednesday is my OB/GYN appointment about my prolactin levels. I don't know what she can say besides "Don't play with your nipples!" Okaaaay..... And what about my FWB? (That's a no, too, I suppose.)

Speaking of Sandals, I have some Birkenstocks, but I don't like to wear them without socks because my foot slides around in them. That is, the shoe moves up and down so my foot isn't always in them! With socks, that doesn't happen. I know a lot of people think socks with Birkenstocks/sandals in general is so gauche.

I was kicked out of a forum for being a bad moderator! That was 20 years ago.

What shall I do tomorrow? Putter around the apartment and clean? I haven't done the floors in a little bit. I could organize my kitchen a little better. I just messaged N1 and asked if she wants to meet me at Starbucks tomorrow to chat. She can buy my coffee as she works at "Starbies" - her word!- and gets a huge discount, so that would be nice.

Going to go take out my contacts, brush my teeth and go to bed to read. First, I'll fold my clothes, though!