[~Christina]

Originally Posted by bizi

I did not know that the shingles shot required a second shot.
How far apart are they given. I should get mine. My Dad had shingles and it was terrible.
Have you taken the covid shot?
I hope both you and steve have taken them.
There is a new varient called MU....just what we don't need.
I hear you about shopping several of our fitting rooms were

shut down. I eventually got a catalogue and ordered a
bathing suit that looked pretty but not on me.

I am a fat blob. I know that I should not talk this way,
hubby never says a word. I did get a cover up
pretty floral all the way down to my ankles
with a slit on each side. I wore it as a dress.

I have ordered a few shirts that have worked out ok I guess.
Being obese really sucks.

bizi

Hey Bizi

Yes a 3 month wait for 2nd shot. The first shot I don't remember my arm hurting like this time. But I will deal with it ( still pretty painful today) My Father while having Chemo for Leukemia had Shingles and he was a real tough guy but Shingles would have him in tears. he was on Morphine and still suffered.

Yes Steve and I both got the Moderna vaccine as soon as we could. I think Covid is just going to have variant after variant and there will be a steady flow of booster shots needed.. We have an appt in October for our Diabetes check up and we will be getting the regular Flu shot.

Oh weight gain I have had bouts of Anorexia all my life more often than not. My last real struggle had me down to about 80lbs, I'm 5'5.. I was being told to gain weight or time for a feeding tube, but mentally I felt much better about myself.. Right now I weight more than I ever have in my life. The last AP that I took for over a year prior to my TIA was straight Seroquel and I flipped fully into Metabolic syndrome and even though now being Diabetic and watching food choices and portions it really hasn't allowed me to lose much weight. My Doctors are happy that I am not gaining and my Diabetes is very stable with numbers into the "pre diabetic" range.. its very frustrating and I verbally beat myself pretty much 24/7 365 about my weight and yes I shouldn't but its hard not to. I dont think any amount of CBT is going to stop this issue.

I am so sorry I have been meaning to ask you if you guys made it through Ida with no real problems? We got lots of the bands of rain some severe but no damage thankfully. I was shocked at how bad it effected people in the East,, Mother nature truly is evil sometimes..

I'm sure that floral dress looks nicer that you think

Hope your having a nice labor Day

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Hey !

I'm glad things are starting to come together piece by piece for your wedding I just want to say I've see you here since day one and you have been through such enormous roadblocks and heartbreaking grief. But you have found your way and still are working through alot but I am so happy that you met RS because you deserve all the joy possible in your life. I know you doubt at times that you deserve it.. Well you damn sure do

Ahhh family that drinks. My Aunt and Uncle in Florida also would start drinking and it didn't take long for it to become a terrible situation. From day 1 they would argue in front of anyone ( sober and worse drunk) which I have always been one to never have an argument in front of anyone, once alone I would address it and that was with anyone like my first husband, family or even friends. So all of us would make an exit. Very sad. They eventually divorced and neither one thinks alcohol played apart but we all saw in the screaming neon colors.

I'm glad you have a student that really needs that safe place. I'm sure as she gets started with her life away from a terrible home life that she will look back and remember you, someone that helped her in a much needed time in her life..

Hear! Hear! wildflowerchild!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

on a grocery store app I’m looking at I saw a sucker that is in the shape of a pacifier. Like the actual pacifier part is the sucker. And I want it so badly but my mom may see it when the cashier is checking my things out at the store. Candy pacifiers seem like a good idea that my therapist may not object to. But getting one is the problem. Maybe I’ll check Amazon

I've seen those at 7-11 and other convenience stores that sell a lot of candy.

[Soupe du jour]

This afternoon was my first appointment with my new therapist. My first impression of him was EXCELLENT! It feels so good when you meet someone that just seems to click. That always provides great justification for leaving one that simply doesn't, like the first therapist I went to here in CZ. The first was so painfully stiff and I always felt like I'd start discussing something major, for her to then 10 minutes later seem to check it off the list. Done. Done? Really?!?! She always pressured me to come up with a list beforehand. Though there have been times when I liked doing that, other times I just feel like talking about what flows from my brain at the moment. With the first therapist here, I felt I immediately put up a glass wall. With this new one, I finally felt like my old free self. He's quite a character, though. When I walked into his office, I noticed he was barefooted. I suppose if his feet stunk, I'd have a problem with it. Luckily, they didn't. He was like a true bohemian with a lower-case "b". Not even a Bohemian with an upper-case "B", not that we live in Bohemia. We're actually in Moravia. Actually, he's not even originally Czech. He's a Slovak. He talked a little about his adjustment living in CZ, as well. I suppose some out there wouldn't see much of a difference, but there's similar ones even within states of the US. Believe me, a person from New York City is not the same as a person from Butte, Montana. [Not implying either is better than the other.]

Hubby and I bought tons of berries after my appointment (strawberries, raspberries, blueberries). I'll have to figure out how to use them all. We also went to a sporting goods store and bought a new pair of hiking pants and non-prescription sunglasses for me - for when I wear contacts.

When we got home, we watched a French movie starring Jean-Paul Belmondo and Alain Delon. Jean-Paul Belmondo died today. He was a great actor with incredible character. The part he played in the movie sort of reminded me of myself, when I'm at my best. I want to be my best again, soon. Perhaps my new therapist will help me.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Kelly68

I was diagnosed bipolar many years ago. I don't think I am. I'm nothing but depressed, and taking the mood stabilzer just makes me tired and more depressed Doctor had to be wrong then, or can a person change after aging and not be bipolar anymore? I've had no mania. Always down. I'm moody often though, so I don't know anymore.

I don't know your age but often some people have less hypo/manic episodes per my T as they get older So they stay more stuck in the depressive end of Bipolar.

If you have been on the same medication and your not getting any kind of relief then it would be a good idea to have a talk with your Pdoc and T to try and identify any chronic situations that cause you distress. Could be possible that coping skills need to be dusted off and used or new ones learned. When I am in the dark end of Bipolar I am kind of shocked when my T helps point out that I have slacked on coping skills XYZ.

Maybe you need a tweak in medication dose or an all together change in medication.

I hope you find some kind of relief soon

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Well my Insurance needs a pre Auth for Rexulti like I knew it would, So with the Holiday I think it will " Maybe" Tuesday but I'm thinking more like Wednesday when it will be ready. Honestly I don't really care. I'm not overly thrilled with the possible side effects and the issues of it effecting my physical health issues.. Meh !

I need to sit down and update my letters to Steve and Amanda for when something happens to me. We have a fire proof safe.. It's always something that takes alot of thought I wind up have 37 drafts lol. But I think it would be a comfort for both of them to have a letter.

I did get my second Shingles vaccine today so that is taken care of. One less thing to worry about.. Oooooo sore arm tho.

Hope everyone is having a good night

I had more side effects from the shingles vax than I did from covid vax. Very sore arm and mild flu-like symptoms for a few hours.


I get you on the Rexulti. It seems like psych med side effects just become scarier and scarier, rather than less so

I threw my cigarettes out, just like i knew i would. It's a filthy habit and very much an act of self-harm. I understand the appeal tho, when life is going too fast to cope with. So i have compassion for smokers but am glad not to be one, at least not on a regular basis, just every twelve years or so for about ten cigarettes until i come to my senses.

Brushing my teeth like mad today and squirting up with Biotene to refresh my tongue which took the brunt of the smoking (didn't inhale). Can't find my mouthwash and the store doesn't have any so it's the best i can do with it being a holiday here. Don't feel well enough to go out anyways. Have to get pop so it's either risk the IRL grocery store tomorrow or order online for the first time since Winter.

Back playing Scrabble after about eight months, about 15 games between yesterday and today, quite a lot actually, as i am bored but too restless to relax. Having good games, a 500+ game and a big play called a 3X3 for 140, my win-rate is over 90%, NICE!!!

Messaged my Scrabble pal about my big 3X3 as these plays are rare but the play was DANGERER and she said, "Ooh, you're DANGEROUS!" which makes me uneasy because sometimes people say they are scared of me.

I don't like to think i'm a frightening person, but my Scrabble pal probably meant it innocently, was just making a play-on-words. I don't think SHE is actually afraid of me, except maybe as a Scrabble opponent as i win the majority of our games and am rated higher.

So, i still feel somewhat of a wreck from the messy benzo taper but recovering. Will be glad when i can put this behind me and start withdrawing from Risperdal. I'll have to get my doctor to agree to a permanent dose of 2mg Valium first.

He might not like that.

My last doctor didn't because he said Valium leaves behind "metabolites," chemical garbage, from what i understand and he was happier to have me on 1mg Clonazepam than 2mg Valium which doesn't make sense to me. I'm going to advocate for myself more vigorously with this new doctor and i think i can persuade him.

Will take some time off med changes tho until i fully even-out. Whoosh, that was scary with all the hysteria and fear and drinking and smoking.

Note to all: Stay in school and don't EVER take benzos, at least, not steadily for more than two weeks!!!

Be smart!!!!!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

....

I meet my student on Wednesday and I’m really happy to be working with her, I think I can help her at least feel comfortable at school. Apparently her family treats her like crap, but only her, she’s like the black sheep and that’s just so terrible. I think I can make school a safe space for her where she can be herself and not worry about getting insulted/laughed at. At least I can try. Definitely can’t fix her and I’m not trying to but I hope she can feel better about being there.

What a beautiful service you offer!

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

Hello, @Kelly68. Welcome.

I have a job, but I just applied to be a postal carrier. I think the regular exercise and fresh air would be good for me.

I hope that you get a position ! Unless its been changed the benefits are very good

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Kelly68

I was diagnosed bipolar many years ago. I don't think I am. I'm nothing but depressed, and taking the mood stabilzer just makes me tired and more depressed Doctor had to be wrong then, or can a person change after aging and not be bipolar anymore? I've had no mania. Always down. I'm moody often though, so I don't know anymore.

Hi Kelly, Bipolar 2 is mostly depression and at least some hypomania. Why were you diagnosed with bipolar disorder?

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

I was out laboring this Labor Day. Mum was saying a week or so ago that the north side of the house needed washing off. It did. It gets no sun so mold was popping up. So I dragged the hose around to that side. Got a soapy pail of water and mum had the bright idea of using a mop. I also pulled a chair around so that in between mopping I could sit for my back. It’s beautiful day. Most of the neighbors are out working on their houses too. One neighbor has a scaffolding all around his huge huge tree and is trimming it. If only we had a grill, bbq would be a perfect ending, with s’mores of course! 😃 maybe Burger King?

Laboring on Labor Day ?? Yes you deserve a day off of figuring something out for dinner ! S'mores?? Ooooooooo I'm going to assume they are sugar free and join you

One side of our house gets virtually no sunlight also. Few times a year my husband has a large back pack sprayer he uses for weed killer and for the house he uses bleach then rinses it off. Odd thing he did it a couple months ago and its just triggers a huge Asthma attack for me, yet he is on oxygen at night for COPD and it doesn't bother him He's weird lol

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

This afternoon was my first appointment with my new therapist. My first impression of him was EXCELLENT! It feels so good when you meet someone that just seems to click. That always provides great justification for leaving one that simply doesn't, like the first therapist I went to here in CZ. The first was so painfully stiff and I always felt like I'd start discussing something major, for her to then 10 minutes later seem to check it off the list. Done. Done? Really?!?! She always pressured me to come up with a list beforehand. Though there have been times when I liked doing that, other times I just feel like talking about what flows from my brain at the moment. With the first therapist here, I felt I immediately put up a glass wall. With this new one, I finally felt like my old free self. He's quite a character, though. When I walked in to his office, I noticed he was barefooted. I suppose if his feet stunk, I'd have a problem with it. Luckily, they didn't. He was like a true bohemian with a lower-case "b". Not even a Bohemian with an upper-case "B", not that we live in Bohemia. We're actually in Moravia. Actually, he's not even originally Czech. He's a Slovak. He talked a little about his adjustment living in CZ, as well. I suppose some out there wouldn't see much of a difference, but there's similar ones even within states of the US. Believe me, a person from New York City is not the same as a person from Butte, Montana. [Not implying either is better than the other.]

Hubby and I bought tons of berries after my appointment (strawberries, raspberries, blueberries). I'll have to figure out how to use them all. We also went to a sporting goods store and bought a new pair of hiking pants and non-prescription sunglasses for me - for when I wear contacts.

When we got home, we watched a French movie starring Jean-Paul Belmondo and Alain Delon. Jean-Paul Belmondo died today. He was a great actor with incredible character. The part he played in the movie sort of reminded me of myself, when I'm at my best. I want to be my best again, soon. Perhaps my new therapist will help me.

Thats so FANTASTIC you found a T that you were able to click with so easily.. Ummmmm Bare feet ??? LOL I would have gotten a kick out of that.

I don't know if you have mentioned it and I've missed it??? How are the prices for things there vs the States?

I bet the berries would make some delicious tarts and breads. I made a cobbler out of the last black berries from the season we picked. Was wonderful.

Haha still laughing about the bare feet

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

This afternoon was my first appointment with my new therapist. My first impression of him was EXCELLENT! It feels so good when you meet someone that just seems to click. That always provides great justification for leaving one that simply doesn't, like the first therapist I went to here in CZ. The first was so painfully stiff and I always felt like I'd start discussing something major, for her to then 10 minutes later seem to check it off the list. Done. Done? Really?!?! She always pressured me to come up with a list beforehand. Though there have been times when I liked doing that, other times I just feel like talking about what flows from my brain at the moment. With the first therapist here, I felt I immediately put up a glass wall. With this new one, I finally felt like my old free self. He's quite a character, though. When I walked in to his office, I noticed he was barefooted. I suppose if his feet stunk, I'd have a problem with it. Luckily, they didn't. He was like a true bohemian with a lower-case "b". Not even a Bohemian with an upper-case "B", not that we live in Bohemia. We're actually in Moravia. Actually, he's not even originally Czech. He's a Slovak. He talked a little about his adjustment living in CZ, as well. I suppose some out there wouldn't see much of a difference, but there's similar ones even within states of the US. Believe me, a person from New York City is not the same as a person from Butte, Montana. [Not implying either is better than the other.]

Hubby and I bought tons of berries after my appointment (strawberries, raspberries, blueberries). I'll have to figure out how to use them all. We also went to a sporting goods store and bought a new pair of hiking pants and non-prescription sunglasses for me - for when I wear contacts.

When we got home, we watched a French movie starring Jean-Paul Belmondo and Alain Delon. Jean-Paul Belmondo died today. He was a great actor with incredible character. The part he played in the movie sort of reminded me of myself, when I'm at my best. I want to be my best again, soon. Perhaps my new therapist will help me.

GREAT news on your new therapist! Hurrah!!

The movie sounds wonderful. You have such good taste in movies.

[*Beth*]

@Daonnachd The post office may just be an excellent idea. They're hiring all around this region (as you know). Best of luck with it!

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I had more side effects from the shingles vax than I did from covid vax. Very sore arm and mild flu-like symptoms for a few hours.


I get you on the Rexulti. It seems like psych med side effects just become scarier and scarier, rather than less so

Ahhhhhhh Okay so the more sore arm wasn't just in my head then ! Good to know LOL. I did feel kind of " ick" last night, but hell I forgot about the shot

My hallucinations take up alot of my time and I really struggle to stay focused. I am finding that posting here is being helpful as for concentration. Other than a few times here and there posting on PC for the last 10 years has always been helpful.

I'll not spend alot of time ranting about Big pharma you all know how I feel but virtually every side effects from psych meds causes a general health problem that they just so happen to have another pill for.. I literally yelled at the TV when I saw the first commercial for a brand new pill for TD.. Like really????????? Argh

[~Christina]

Its a beautiful day today actually got to spend time on my porch !

I am beyond ready for Fall

Im having a very hard time regulating my blood sugar today. Anytime my fasting blood sugar is below 100 I am to skip a dose of my GlipiZide. It was 123. The portion size for Raisin Bran is 3/4 of a cup and I use Almond milk which is 30 calories for a whole cup but I only use just over 1/4 cup on cereal.

Anyway about an hour later my blood sugar bottomed out. For me I suddenly get dizzy, nauseous and drenched in sweat in just a few minutes. My Glucose level was 43 So I grabbed a spoon of peanut butter and took a few glucose tabs which typically always works. No relief actually got worse I dropped to 31 ! Any lower than that and I will pass out. I keep one regular soda in the fridge for this situation. It's hard to choke down when hella nauseous but with in 5 mins I finally was getting my number back up.

Thought maybe Shingles vaccine could have been the problem but I checked on that and couldn't find anything and I even called my pharmacist and she said there is no connection..

Depending on my number after dinner I might skip my evening dose.

It's always something

Sorry everyone about the mix-up with my font color in my recent posts. I run in "Black Smart" mode as it's so much easier on the eyes and the cyan color of the text looked pretty to me on black. But for those of you running in default mode it was apparently hard to see, as two members have kindly let me know, so i've switched back to default color and hopefully you can all see this post easily again. Unfortunately, there is no way to adjust it for previous posts. Once HTML tags have been submitted here on this site, they're permanent. So adios to my recent posts but it wasn't anything too urgent anyways. Thanks to the two members who spoke up! Would hate to be ignored because of a mix-up with font color! Let me know how this post appears to you...

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

Sorry everyone about the mix-up with my font color in my recent posts. I run in "Black Smart" mode as it's so much easier on the eyes and the cyan color of the text looked pretty to me on black. But for those of you running in default mode it was apparently hard to see, as two members have kindly let me know, so i've switched back to default color and hopefully you can all see this post easily again. Unfortunately, there is no way to adjust it for previous posts. Once HTML tags have been submitted here on this site, they're permanent. So adios to my recent posts but it wasn't anything too urgent anyways. Thanks to the two members who spoke up! Would hate to be ignored because of a mix-up with font color! Let me know how this post appears to you...

Thanks Jane! I was reading by highlighting the text but this is much easier.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

Sorry everyone about the mix-up with my font color in my recent posts. I run in "Black Smart" mode as it's so much easier on the eyes and the cyan color of the text looked pretty to me on black. But for those of you running in default mode it was apparently hard to see, as two members have kindly let me know, so i've switched back to default color and hopefully you can all see this post easily again. Unfortunately, there is no way to adjust it for previous posts. Once HTML tags have been submitted here on this site, they're permanent. So adios to my recent posts but it wasn't anything too urgent anyways. Thanks to the two members who spoke up! Would hate to be ignored because of a mix-up with font color! Let me know how this post appears to you...

I read your previous posts just fine. I just highlighted them and then the text was white! Perfectly easy to read.

[Moose72]

I drove N3 and his gf to Ikea today. N3 was my navigator because I did/do not know the way there. Getting back was easier. But I was annoyed at first because they had to seemingly look at "everything" that was there and TOUCH everything, too! Even the toys meant for little kids! They didn't buy anything though they thought a lot of things would be nice to get. Well, nothing but a key chain/change purse shaped like an Ikea bag and a candy bar. N3 did kill a spider on the car's dash when we were on our way home, so now I have squished spider on my dash. We made it home just fine- made one wrong turn, but there was an easy way to remedy that so it was no big deal. I also had coffee with N1. Nice conversation. She's got a black cat now. Her first pet of her own, really. She had a cat as a kid, but this one is her charge- nobody else's. She also told me that she's been diagnosed ADHD fairly recently. I don't know if I should tell her about this place- if she'd come to the bipolar board and hunt my posts down... I'd like to feel comfortable posting what I want/need to, without having to filter, you know?

@Moose72:

Yes, i think you should keep this place all to yourself. There is such a vibrant movement for youth mental health now, your child will surely be able to find some resources for themselves. No need to jeopardize your one special place!

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

@Moose72:

Yes, i think you should keep this place all to yourself. There is such a vibrant movement for youth mental health now, your child will surely be able to find some resources for themselves. No need to jeopardize your one special place!

Ok. I agree.

[wildflowerchild25]

@~Christina and @Innerzone

Thank you both so much for your kind words! You’re right, you have both seen me at my very worst multiple times and always been very supportive. And what you said here has been said to me multiple times by everyone closest to me in my life. Even those involved in my treatment repeatedly told me what a good man he is. I know he has been the only person in my entire life that has accepted me for truly me and I don’t have to put on a mask around him. I am very happy to be with him and start life anew!

[scatterbrained04]

Originally Posted by Kelly68

I was diagnosed bipolar many years ago. I don't think I am. I'm nothing but depressed, and taking the mood stabilzer just makes me tired and more depressed Doctor had to be wrong then, or can a person change after aging and not be bipolar anymore? I've had no mania. Always down. I'm moody often though, so I don't know anymore.

Why did they diagnose you bipolar? Do you have bipolar 2?? I have bipolar 2 and it's mainly depression. And then depression with hypomanic symptoms tossed in. And then more depression. When I'm hypomanic, a lot of time I just think I'm normal anyways.

Sent from my SM-G991U using Tapatalk

[unlived]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

I threw my cigarettes out, just like i knew i would. It's a filthy habit and very much an act of self-harm. I understand the appeal tho, when life is going too fast to cope with. So i have compassion for smokers but am glad not to be one, at least not on a regular basis, just every twelve years or so for about ten cigarettes until i come to my senses.

Brushing my teeth like mad today and squirting up with Biotene to refresh my tongue which took the brunt of the smoking (didn't inhale). Can't find my mouthwash and the store doesn't have any so it's the best i can do with it being a holiday here. Don't feel well enough to go out anyways. Have to get pop so it's either risk the IRL grocery store tomorrow or order online for the first time since Winter.

Back playing Scrabble after about eight months, about 15 games between yesterday and today, quite a lot actually, as i am bored but too restless to relax. Having good games, a 500+ game and a big play called a 3X3 for 140, my win-rate is over 90%, NICE!!!

Messaged my Scrabble pal about my big 3X3 as these plays are rare but the play was DANGERER and she said, "Ooh, you're DANGEROUS!" which makes me uneasy because sometimes people say they are scared of me.

I don't like to think i'm a frightening person, but my Scrabble pal probably meant it innocently, was just making a play-on-words. I don't think SHE is actually afraid of me, except maybe as a Scrabble opponent as i win the majority of our games and am rated higher.

So, i still feel somewhat of a wreck from the messy benzo taper but recovering. Will be glad when i can put this behind me and start withdrawing from Risperdal. I'll have to get my doctor to agree to a permanent dose of 2mg Valium first.

He might not like that.

My last doctor didn't because he said Valium leaves behind "metabolites," chemical garbage, from what i understand and he was happier to have me on 1mg Clonazepam than 2mg Valium which doesn't make sense to me. I'm going to advocate for myself more vigorously with this new doctor and i think i can persuade him.

Will take some time off med changes tho until i fully even-out. Whoosh, that was scary with all the hysteria and fear and drinking and smoking.

Note to all: Stay in school and don't EVER take benzos, at least, not steadily for more than two weeks!!!

Be smart!!!!!

Your new colour is really hard to read

Edit: never mind you changed it